Blessing Day

Dear Gracie, 

Today was such a beautiful day. It was a special day too. It was your blessing day. You were dressed in a beautiful dress that I wore on my blessing day, and my mom also wore on her blessing day. 

So many family and friends gathered around to see and hear your blessing. Your dad, grandpas, great grandpas, uncles, and other priesthood holders gathered around you in a circle and gave you a name and a blessing. You have such a beautiful spirit around you already and I am so excited to be your mom, and to watch you grow and develop. I hope you always remember the significance of your name, Grace. I hope your name will always remind you of the sacrifice of our Savior. You always remind me of His love, purity, and sacrifice. Thank you for being our daughter. We love you. 

Love, 

Mom & Dad

Rocky Roads & Happy Trails

Rocky roads are better left as candy bars and ice cream flavors. But, I suppose we are all dished some of the other kind; the roughest and toughest, ain't-nothin'-sweet-about-it kind. The last 2 months off my life have been so rocky at times that I just can't do anything but cry, and pray--usually at the same time. But, between the rocky roads, I have been able to find some of the sweetest happy trails that fill my heart with so much joy and gratitude that there is nothing to do but...well, cry and pray.

I suppose I have done a lot of crying, and a lot of praying.

The name of the Rocky road I would call post-partum complications and my happy trail I would name Gracie Jane.

My pregnancy was an easy and blissful coast---I felt so lucky. But goodness, did I pay for it in the recovery. My recovery has had me wondering if I can ever be excited to do that part of it again. After the chorioamnionitis, the hemorrhage, the NICU admission, the feeding issues, the abnormal uterine bleeding at 5 weeks postpartum, and the two rounds of pyelonephritis, and several different broad spectrum antibiotics about had me ready to lose it all over the edge of a cliff.

But, here in my arms, as I type most of this with one hand, is a sleeping angel. She has brought more purpose and fulfillment in my life than I have ever felt. She fills our home with the happiest Spirit. And, after having her sick in the NICU, I feel so grateful to have every minute with her. Even her little cries I enjoy. I am excited for all the milestones, but I really can't help but think how much I will miss cuddling her when she is too big for all that. I would do anything for her. I would even re-trace my steps back through that rocky road if I had to.

Over the past few weeks I have pondered this promise from President Eyring many times:


If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing.

I now know how that is possible.
I also found great comfort in these promises.

We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word.

If you like those words, they come from here.
Find some inspiring words, and keep them handy, for your rocky roads.
But also, write down some happy trails, so that you don't miss 'em.

My dear Gracie Jane,

Today you have one emotional postpartum mommy.
I cry when I think about how grateful I am for the many miracles we have seen in this past week.
When I think of all the people who have fasted and prayed and visited the temple especially with you in mind, I cry tears of gratitude.
I cry when I think about how much I miss you, how much I want you to come home.
I want you to see all the presents people keep bringing for you and I want to wrap you up in all your own clothes without worrying about all the monitors and PICC lines.
I want to feed you when you want to be fed.
I want to wake up to your stirrings, and not to the pain in my breasts reminding me that you are not there.
I am so glad you are just a short car ride away, and that you are in a good hospital with excellent nurses.
I'm so grateful to the angels who have answered my prayers and who watch over you when I can't be with you. I know they are there all around you.


I pray that your temperature will stay down, that we won't see any more blood in your stools, that you can finish up your antibiotics soon, and that you can tolerate the feedings with great satisfaction.
Your daddy loves you so much. I have never seen him so smitten!
Please know that these mortal bodies really are great.
And most of all, please know that I love you.
I miss you.
Come home soon.
Love,
Mommy

You are my angel.

Every minute with you brings me pure happiness!

I will treasure you always.

40.5 weeks of pregnancy! Boo-yah.

Wow...did I jinx myself or what?!
This baby is still not wanting to come!
I never once thought I'd need to read the sections on "The Overdue Baby" and "Do-it-Yourself Labor Induction" ideas in What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Truly, I thought she'd be here by now!

I am still not desperate enough to drink any castor oil or walk 26.2 or jump on any loose-your-bladder-forever-trampoline. I have tried bleacher walking at the rodeo, taking bumpy car rides, long walks, spicy food, and Cody's veggie juice concoction made special for me and ya know what? I suppose this chica will come as soon as she is darn well ready...or as soon as I get my visiting teaching done...I WILL do that today.

To keep positive Cody & I have started doing a "date-a-day" since...we never know which date will be our LAST just the two of us.
>Rodeo
>Cafe Rio
>Trafalga mini golf
>7 Peaks...Lazzzzy Riverrr. A quick note about 7 peaks...if you are pregnant, your 'medical condition' will allow you to take your food/water bottles into the park! Everyone else takes their goodies to the picnic area...I got to take mine to my wee patch of shade. What a great perk..
>Window shopping at the mall...walk walk walk.
>Movie night at the theater
>Movie night at home
>MountainWest Burrito
And we may need to start repeating a few ideas here soon. :)

Several people due AFTER me have had their babies already...what?! But many moms who carried longer than 40 weeks are coming out of the wood-work and I love them! You are amazing.

A few of my favorite things over the last 40 weeks:

1. Like I said, What to Expect When You're Expecting: Probably my favorite pregnancy guide. I liked it even more than my OB textbook!
2. Listen, I waited way to long to get me a good pair of black stretchy yoga pants. Lots of ladies like the leggings...but this style was way better for me {and anybody else who might see me}. Definitely my favorite thing to wear now-a-days.
3. Short-sleeve cardigans: I definately love to layer--which gets tricky in the summer time! But sometimes I just felt so tiny if I had a cardigan that buttoned up at the top and gave just let my belly play "peek-a-boo". Loved these short sleeve cardi's with dresses, long flowing shirts, or just a plain old shade shirt.
4. A modest short sleeve shirt that doesn't need layering: A MUST for summer! It is hard to find pregnancy shirts that don't need a shade or an extra cami underneath because maternity designers seem to be all about the BUST because hey I guess when you got it most women wanna flaunt it... hello, not me. I found mine at H&M and the red one here says it's only $9.97 >>>steal.
5. Bran Flakes: I have always loved these but they have been great this pregnancy!! I ate them plain on the couch in the beginning w/ the morning sickness---you know when you don't feel like anything and something dry and bland is all you can handle?? Bran flakes. Plus, the fiber helps keep you regular so you don't have to worry about constipation people tell you about.
6. Tums: have a child kicking everything you eat back up your esophagus? Pop two of these in and oh it calms to flames in your throat. I always thought these things were way over-rated. No way. Bless the man that figured out a little calcium can cure such an ailment!
7. A nice stretchy skirt: I happened upon mine at Old Navy before I was pregnant, and it worked through the whole pregnancy. Light, breezy, and worked for Church! Hallelujah!
8. A belly band. LOVE MINE SO MUCH. Had a terrible time finding maternity pants and so this let me wear my favorite pre-pregnancy jeans for way longer. Can fold it down under your belly {my favorite} or pull it up for smoothing, etc. Just some nice coverage and security--who doesn't want that?!

What are your pregnancy favorites?
Or, better yet, what are your new baby favorites that I should be sure to have when this chica finally decides to come?? :) Do tell!

Full Term...and Counting...

A little while ago a man at the mall stopped me and had the most excited look on his face.

He said, "are you going to have a baby?!"
I had to smile, because of his sweet question despite the
oh-so-obvious answer.
I said "yes"
He said "when is it coming?"
I said "July"
He said "a firework baby?!"
And I just had to smile even more because yes...this is a firework baby!!
She's my little sparkler.
I can't wait to meet her face!

Sounds like she is not quite ready yet...

I'm ok for now...because I still get panic attacks thinking about the whole LABOR thing.

BUT I don't want her to pull a Cody and hang out in there 2 weeks past her due date...!

It will definitely be weird NOT being pregnant anymore.

Not feeling her rumble around inside me?? Sad, I just love that!

But it might be nice to have full bladder capacity?! Or even 75% would be nice. 

It has been so nice to be out of school. 

I've finally been able to work on my "Before Baby Do List"

*wash and fold her clothes---check.

*organize the back entryway---check. thank you Cody. 

*organize the closet in her room---almost there. 

*pack hospital bag---I think we have the essentials together.

*Trim hair---check. 

*Clean out fridge and freezer---procrastinating.

etc.  

I battle waves of energy/nesting-mania and 

waves of exhaustion and a desire to do nothing but sit and read. 

Sometimes I just sit in her little nursery.

Things I have been enjoying lately: 

*popsicles

*watermelon, always.

*orange julius
*raspberries
*beans and rice
*Ice cold water

I can hardly wait for all the fireworks and sparklers July will bring!

Mental & Electrical Breakdowns

The two seem to have a correlation around here. 

I have been in the habit of blow-drying my hair after I shower. 

I am not alone in this habit I am sure.

Unfortunately,

our poor old house seems to have the horrible 

habit of blowing THE fuse when I blow dry my hair. 

As in, all power in the whole house. 

Gone. 

Nonexistent.
Electricity? Zippo.

My landlord simply said: 

we are power hogs and the old house just cannot support our electrical needs. 

I decided to test his theory like this: 

shower. 

dry off.
drip dry hair as long as possible.

turn off all the lights. 

unplug anything unnecessary
{basically everything except the refrigerator}

plug in the blow dryer

proceed in haste and caution

and...

Still. The house couldn't handle it. 

Sunday morning and my hair was in that half-dry-frizzy stage. I'm sure I looked just as frazzled as our poor electrical wiring. 

And so I had a mental breakdown. 

I called the landlord as usual. 

But this time I cried.

"I NEED to dry my hair"

And then I threatened {mentally} to move out as soon as I found a place that can support a blow-dryer.

Now that I am more composed about the experience...and some real progress has been made on this matter...I feel I am ready to look back on the experience with...
a little more humor.
But I still close my prayers with:
Thanks for this old house, we're so lucky to rent it, and please, bless it.
And it is a blessed house.
{Most of the time}
The sink episode is still a little too...fresh. ;)

Second Trimester...Bliss?!

I love being pregnant right now. 

Seriously. 

It's great!

Why??

a. I don't feel self conscious...let it all hang out baby!

b. No {real} need to be too conscious about food/exercise

...just listen to my body & do what feels good

{and hey..if it's ice cream I want...then it must be the calcium she needs!}

c. I feel great! 

I haven't felt sick at all the last few weeks

...not {overly} exhausted 

...not too swollen

...yet

d. I can feel my baby moving around all the time. 

And I know it's not gas. Most of the time. ;)

It is indeed the craziest {most incredible} feeling.

e. The "nesting bug" is kind of exciting!

I've been reading my favorite spring-clean-motivation book

It's All Too Much 

Getting ready to do some serious nesting-de-junking
...soon.

And the "nursery" idea is growing on me.

There. 

Now no matter what I say about pregnancy in the weeks to come---

no matter what I say to discourage a fellow female in the future---

 everyone will always know that at least for a little while...

I loved being pregnant!!

Wondering if maybe I'm having this lovely period just to prepare me for something...

But for now, I feel so blessed. 

Am I crazy? 

Tickled Pink

Baby Wilson is a GIRL!

We are so excited! 

So, we are celebrating all things baby girl. 

Pink, roses, hearts...

Which is perfect, since it is Valentines. 

One of my most favorite holidays. 

We came home from the ultrasound and made these pink drinks.

Yum.

Cheers!

And...we got these little snuggly cuties.

We have hung them in happy places around the house.

They are just too soft. 

And I think they are perfect to double as Valentine's Decor, no? :)

OK so I want to make one of these beauties for love day.

Tomorrow starts the countdown: 7 days until Valentines!

BabyTalk

Lots of baby talk around here. 

I love it. 

I am getting more and more excited. 

Specific topics?

Do we cheat and find out the gender early? Yes? No? 

How are we ever going to officially decide on a name?

Boy names are really hard...Liam? Henry? Carter? hmm...

Which wall is for the crib...

Where should we move the desk?

Should we move? Should we stay here? 

How much is this really going to cost us....

Do we really want to know?

Does baby wilson really want those valentine candies? 

{yes, if it's my baby, (s)he does}

How many more Saturdays do we have to prepare? 25. 

What is the most important thing to have figured out before you have a baby?