Lama sungguh tidak update blog ni... dah nak raya dah pon.. hari ni last day keje before Hari Raya..tu yg malas dah nak buat keje ni.. sume org takde opis..

I'm 3 1/2 months pregnant.. Alhamdulillah, 6 months after the miscarriage.. I getting pregnant again..Mula2 tu takut nak rasa happy selepas pengalaman terdahulu..
On the 8 weeks, kite bleeding.. masa tu dah takut dah, dah start nangis..... paginya terus pegi Pantai Hospital, Melaka utk check-up.. Doktor kate besar baby baru 6 weeks.. So, doktor kasi MC seminggu suruh berehat, next week dtg balik.. Suppose next week the heartbeat should be there, if not, there was something wrong... Masa tu, rasa takut sgt.. the same symptoms during the last miscarriage.. hubby nasihatkan, kite berserah pada Allah, kalau ade rezeki.. insyaAllah... tapi air mata ni dah start nak meleleh dahhh.... :( ... Seminggu MC tu memang risau + takut jerrr.. After a week, pegi checkup balik... Alhamdulillah, heartbeat baby ada.. So, the baby now is 7 weeks... Doktor suruh dtg balik utk checkup next month..

Last week dah pegi check-up, dapat tgk baby... dia gerak2... cumelnyerr... :D .. hubby ngan mak pon tgk gak... Alhamdulillah, setakat ni semuanya baik2 jerr...

Kali ni pregnant teruk sket.. mabuk..pose seminggu jerr, lepas tuh mabuk teruk.. muntah2, demam... terus doktor kate jgn puasa lagi...

Skarang ni kte duduk umah in laws kat Semarak, sebab hubby tak kasik berulang.. bila dah betul2 kuat, baru boleh berulang.. Kadang2 tu sedih jugak, hubby takde sama..tapi, utk baby..ibu sanggup berkorban... ibu akan jaga baby baik2 yerr.. baby teman ibu yerr...

Kat sini nak ucapkan, 'SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI' & maaf zahir batin....

Dandelions from Heaven

Mothers day is coming And I wanted to send you a sign
something you can tell others; "Is from an angel of mine

So I searched the heavens high and low for that perfect thing....
And low and behold I found it.... And a smile I hope it will bring.

So when you look to the heavens and see the yellow stars in the sky
Just think of me .... your angel... in the heavens way up high
And just imagine those stars; are dandelions up above.
Yes! Dandelions are also in heaven; which you know how much I love.

So on this mothers day and you awake and feel blue....
You will notice those yellow stars... are no longer in view.
So look to the meadows and the dandelions you see...
Are the ones I've tossed down this mothers day from me.

And when you find a dandelion that has turned from yellow to white;
Youre supposed to make a wish and then blow with all your might.
For you will be blowing kisses to me in heaven above....
And I will be catching them and blowing them back sent with all my love.

Please know that l am with you.... on this mothers day....
And also in the days ahead.... God and I will never stray.
We will be with you in the morning ....when you awake and see the sun....
We will be with you when you say your prayers when the day is done.

For god and I will never be very far from your side....
For I can now be everywhere.... and God will be your guide.
So.... remember when you see dandelions it is your guarantee
That I am always close to you.... for dandelions are free to roam ....now just like me.

I will always be with you mummy....
Happy Mothers Day....
Love your angel in heaven.

-Anonymous-

YOU NEVER SAID GOOD-BYE

You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why
A milion times I needed you,
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That no one could ever fill
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you,
The day God took you home.

~Author Unknown~

AN ANGEL NEVER DIES

Don't let them say I wasn't born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I've loved you from the start.

Although my body you can't hold,
It doesn't mean I'm gone,
This world was worthy, not of me,
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear that it was "meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes,"
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,
Another child you'll bear,
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,
And then you'll understand.

Although I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn't mean I never "was"
An angel never dies

~Author unknown~

angels drift wistfully from my dreams
their gentle smiles holding secrets not meant for me
my hand rests lightly on my stomach
waiting for that tightning
waiting for that kick

emptiness falls upon me
endless sorrows that last into the night
tear stained pillows and desperate questions

why me?
what did i do?

i blame myself
i blame myself

and into the night the angel takes herself
that wistful smile that holds mysteries left unsaid
and into the night i cry in his arms
his calm strong arms...that soft whisper on his voice
telling me, it's not my fault

but i do, i blame myself

~Author unknown~

Unsung Angels

Life seems to be all around me
birds singing
the flight of the butterflys
Another new mommy passes me by
instinctivly
my hand falls onto my stomach
caressing my swollen womb
no life
no movement
slowly shrinking, though it was too early
for anyone but me to tell.

Blinking back the tears,
I hear the cry's of my unsung angels
I feel their tiny fingers holding on
The whisper of their breath
caressing my cheek.
Where are my babies now?
Where are my babies now....

That flutter of butterfly wings
so much like an angels breath
it seems that hummingbird cocked its head
and paused in midair
Has life stopped around me?
Is it even moving anymore?
As if in a daze,
I fall to my knees
and cry...

Come back to me child,
come back before it's too late
I'm always seeing spots
red and brown dazzle before my eyes
needles awaken inside of my stomach
and in my ear -
that meloncholy song
of my unsung angels calling to me
telling me that they're home.

~Author unknown~

Always rememberred:



Abang,
Mengapa begini sekali dugaan Tuhan utk kita..
Dia memberi setelah lama kita meminta, tetapi pemberianNya hanya utk seketika...

:: M/C @ 14 weeks - 26 Jan 2006
:: EDD - 28 July 2006

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku,
Tabahkanlah dan kuatkanlah diriku ini utk menghadapi ujian dariMu ini..