Pine Grosbeak

I finished 21 days of daily IV antibiotic treatments which I received at the hospital. I had been scheduled for 28 days but was physically unable to complete the treatment. Several days later I returned to the hospital for an X-ray on my right knee. Because of the Lyme disease I can hardly walk and it has been this way for awhile now.

I've long believed in birds as messenger's- sent from the Creator above. The last bird was a pine grosbeak who showed up one morning outside our cabin window the day I needed to make a decision regarding my treatment. And when I saw the bird I knew at once the message sent from above-rest and put your trust in Me. And so I did. Like the bird outside my window I refused to worry and in the quietness of the cabin perched in the wilderness my daughter and I call home I was content in His care.
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A Sparrow

"I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the housetop" (Psalm 102:7). The psalmist feels alone. In verse 10 he says, "Because of thine indignation and thy wrath; for thou hast lifted me up and cast me down." God had brought tragedy to the psalmist's life and now to mine. After 50 days on an oral antibiotic the Lyme bacteria has continued to grow and invade my body. And when the psalmist cries, "My days are like a shadow that declineth; and I am withered like grass," (verse 11) he is not only speaking about his experience but mine also. In the darkness the psalmist holds onto the sovereignty of God's rule and pleads, "..please don't take me away in the middle of my life," (verse 24).

I have now started daily IV antibiotics administered at the hospital. When I consider the past 13 years of raising my daughter alone (she is 13) God has been faithful. He has provided for our daily needs and He is continuing to do that now. One day at a time. I praise and thank Him for meeting our daily needs. In this inky blackness of suffering He is there holding my daughter and I in the palm of His hand.

Glory

On July 21, 2025 I became terribly sick. I did not leave my bed for four days and when I did I was still sick. I had no idea why and so began my fight with the invisible beasts of pain and suffering. Over the next three months I made two trips into the hospital. But the doctors had no answers. The breakthrough came in November. It was my mother who on a Saturday morning while having a conversation with her husband and a few minutes on google stumbled upon the disease I had. Unknown to them that morning I was praying and fasting. God had intervened and spared my life. In November 18 I began antibiotic treatment for Lyme disease. And I am still on treatment. God hasn't promised us a life without pain and suffering. But what he has promised is to be with us in the storm. It is our choice if we will trust him or not. This heavenly blue morning glory is blooming in our cabin. It reminds me of a passage in Habakkuk 3:17,18, "Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines……Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
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Seeds

A year ago my daughter and I began reading the Tyndale 1536 Bible at the same time comparing it word for word to the King James. It took us a year to read it. Much of it was the same but there were differences. And they were significant. The most obvious one was found in the Ten Commandments where the wording for the seventh one in the Tyndale Bible reads," Thou shalt not break wedlock" (Exodus 20:14 [Deuteronomy 5:18, Matthew 5:32, Mark 10:19]). It was the breaking of the marital covenant vow which exists between a man, a woman, and God that is forbidden and counted as sin. This vow is to be until death. (Proverbs 2:16,17; Deuteronomy 23:21,22; Malachi 2:15; Romans 7:3)

All remarriage with the exception of widowhood is adultery (Luke 16:18; Romans 7:1-3). The exception clause given in Matthew 19:9 is not given as permission for remarriage but in our modern church it is used that way. Rather it is given for permission to separate which harmonizes with 1 Corinthians 7:10. The other exception clause given in Matthew 5:22 is for fornication [pre-marital sex].

Divorce was not allowed in the church until 1534ish when King Henry the VIII started the Anglican church which gave him the divorce he wanted.

The American Fly Honeysuckle grows in the woods on our land. In the spring it has non-distinct, yellow-green flowers. In the fall when the foliage of the other shrubs has begun to fade this shrub is colour brilliant. I found a specimen with the seeds still attached and as I drew it I contemplated Luke 8:11, "Now the parable is this: the seed is the word of God." Tyndale lost his life through the hands of the church for the Seed and I ask myself- what am I doing with it?


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Comfort

My daughter, who is thirteen drew this warbler and penned these words. "Recently I had been thinking that all (but the Yellow-rumped Warblers that grab flies off the cabin) had gone south. Not so! God always sends surprises waiting out the back door. My mom and I met a tiny warbler in the garden this afternoon. A few minutes later, we spotted it again in an elderberry bush, eating what few ripe berries were left. It was such a tiny, delicate bird with a very olive back, and a faint eye stripe. Protected from above by foliage, and to the side by the low wire fence that the bush had outgrown, she was very relaxed, feeling not afraid, trusting solely in her Creator. We can do the same. That little female Tennessee Warbler was a perfect example for others to feel the same as I do, that no matter what happens, God is in control, and in the long end, all is for our good and the good of other's. Place your trust in God, feel comforted, unafraid, satisfied just like the itty-bitty bird."

Joy

Two years ago I dug up a tiny piece of this pretty roadside flower and took it home leaving plenty of the flower behind. This month I drew it in my journal. The longer I studied it the more I wondered why it couldn't be a particular flower I had wanted to grow but had never seen. I looked in my wildflower guide and realized it was the sought after flower.

God know's how to send each one of us happiness. "For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and JOY." Eccles.2:26 The Jerusalem Artichoke is a native flower of Ontario and it is now growing in my yard scattering happiness like star dust to my daughter and I.

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Thankful

This is my desk in my cabin. I sit here when I draw, paint, design tapestries and often when I'm mending. Creating is a very important part of finding solace in my very long journey in grieving loss.
I am thankful to God for his great blessing in bringing my daughter and I here to this wild space. I feel like I deserve nothing, but God has overwhelmed me with his gifts. And that leads to the second part of my observation and that is no matter how down I feel to remember my blessings. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits." Psalm 103:2 ESV