🎮 The Mario 3 Life Theory: You Only Get Three Real Lives. Most People Waste Two. 🎮

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🎭 How Many Lives Have You Already Lived?

Mario had three lives.
So do you.
Not metaphorically. Not spiritually. Practically.

You get three chances at living a version of yourself.
Most people burn through two before they even realize what’s happening.
Some never make it to the third.
We’re not talking reincarnation. We’re talking about this life. Right now.

This is the Mario 3 Life Theory—a framework to understand the quiet phases of your own unraveling and becoming.

🧠 LIFE 1: The Life You Were Given, Not the One You Chose

Life 1 is handed to you.
Your gender, religion, family, class, expectations—none of it is your choice. You inherit your identity before you even understand what a self is.

You’re told:

  • “Be practical.”
  • “Don’t dream too much.”
  • “Make us proud.”

So you become:

  • The obedient son.
  • The presentable daughter.
  • The good Muslim, good Hindu, good Christian, good student, good citizen.

It feels like safety. But it’s just programming.

Real Story:

A 27-year-old engineer from Pune said:

“I never asked myself what I wanted until I turned 25. I just kept doing what made my parents smile. And one day I realized… I don’t know how to smile for myself.”

In Hinduism, this is Maya—the illusion of identity.
In Buddhism, it’s the conditioned self.
In Christianity, it’s living by law, not grace.
In Islam, it’s the nafs—the ego performing to survive.

You don’t know it’s a life you’re losing until you can’t breathe inside it anymore.

🔁 LIFE 2: The Life You Build Out of Pain, Not Purpose

You rebel. You break out.
You leave the job, the relationship, the city, the old self.
You think: This is it. My real life begins now.
And it feels better. For a while.

You start:

  • Freelancing.
  • Traveling.
  • Dating differently.
  • Going to therapy.
  • Reading self-help.
  • Listening to podcasts.
  • Hustling with purpose.

But you’re still driven by fear—just a different one now.

In Life 1, you feared others.
In Life 2, you fear not becoming your potential.

Life 2 Symptoms:

  • You’re “busy” but always tired.
  • You want “freedom,” but are more anxious than ever.
  • You talk about “boundaries,” but violate your own peace.
  • You go to therapy but avoid the real stuff.

Life 2 is productive, attractive—and deeply performative.

Data Check:

  • A 2023 Gallup poll showed 60% of global workers feel emotionally detached.
  • McKinsey India found 59% of urban professionals are in burnout but keep going to maintain appearances.

You’re free from others.
But still not free from yourself.

🔓 LIFE 3: The Life You Claim, Not the One You Chase

Then one day you break again. But this time, not out of rebellion.
Out of truth.

You realize:

“I’ve tried doing what’s expected. I’ve tried doing what I wanted. I still feel lost.”

This is the doorway to Life 3—the hardest and rarest one.

Here’s what happens:

  • You slow down, not out of laziness, but out of intention.
  • You stop optimizing, and start feeling.
  • You rediscover stillness, prayer, breath, God, silence.
  • You forgive your parents.
  • You speak hard truths.
  • You let go of the version of you that was impressive but not true.

Real Voice:

“I used to be a startup founder. Always pitching. Always proving. Life 3 started when I had a panic attack in my car and cried for 3 hours. I couldn’t remember who I was without the hustle.”

In the Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna: It’s better to fail in your own duty than succeed in someone else’s.
In the Bible, Jesus says: Lose your life to find it.
In the Quran, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change themselves.

Life 3 isn’t the most successful.
It’s the most honest.

🧭 Which Life Are You In Right Now?

Be honest:

If you’re in Life 1:

You keep saying “this is fine.”
You’re scared to disappoint others.
You’re accepted, but invisible to yourself.

Ask yourself:
“Who am I living for?”

If you’re in Life 2:

You feel like you’re improving, but never arriving.
You share wins on LinkedIn, cry in your bedroom.
You say “I’m healing” while hiding real wounds.

Ask yourself:
“What am I pretending not to feel?”

If you’re entering Life 3:

You’ve lost people.
You’ve let go of good things that weren’t right.
You’ve cried without fixing it.
You’ve started listening—to yourself, to God, to silence.

Ask yourself:
“What is worth living for, even if no one else approves?”

🔚 CONCLUSION: You Only Get Three

We think we’ll live forever.
We think the real us will emerge after the next milestone.

But here’s the truth:

  • Most people live in Life 1 and never question it.
  • Some escape to Life 2 and get stuck in self-performance.
  • A few make it to Life 3—and finally live.

This blog isn’t advice.
It’s a mirror.
You don’t need more motivation.
You need more honesty.

Because the real you?
Has always been waiting on the other side of your fear.

🌱 Final Reflection:

You get three lives.
You don’t get to keep them forever.
The third one is yours.
If you’re willing to burn the other two.

Growing Through the Chaos: A Journey of Questions, Flaws, and Becoming

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We all carry an invisible weight, don’t we? That constant tug-of-war between who we are, who
we want to be, and what the world expects from us. We chase success, love, happiness—and
along the way, we find ourselves lost, doubting, and questioning: Is this all worth it?
You’ve asked yourself this before: What am I really doing? You push forward, grinding every day,
trying to prove something—whether to others, or to yourself. But deep down, you know the truth:
the battle is never really with others. It’s with your own fears, your own doubts, your own
limitations. And somehow, you’re never quite sure if you’re winning or just surviving.
But here’s the real question:

Are you even supposed to be winning?

Who Are You, Really?

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Who do you see when you look at yourself? A work-in-progress? A finished product? Or a person who’s still figuring things out, just like the rest of us?
We’re all in this constant state of self-definition. We throw around labels: a career-driven
individual, a lover, a friend. But do they really define us?
Some days, you might feel on top of the world. You’re crushing your goals, making moves,
gaining momentum. Other days? You feel like a fraud, like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. Maybe I’m not enough, you tell yourself. Maybe I never will be.
But here’s the thing: You are enough. You’ve always been. Your journey doesn’t need to make
sense to anyone but you. You don’t need a perfect label. You just need to keep moving

What Have You Really Done?

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When you look back, what stands out? The victories or the defeats? The moments you
conquered, or the times you failed and got back up?
If you’re being honest, you’ve probably got a mix of both. But let’s focus on that. Not the wins
that fill your ego, but the failures that mold your character. They might hurt. They might sting.
But they make you who you are. They force you to grow.
So, what have you done? You’ve lived. You’ve loved. You’ve lost. You’ve built something out of
nothing. And that’s worth celebrating.

Your Flaws: The Real You

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Let’s talk about your flaws. The ones you hide from the world. The ones you hate to admit even
to yourself. Overthinking? Stubbornness? Impatience? Maybe even some self-sabotage along the
way?
You’re not alone. We all have them. The ugly parts we wish we could just edit out. But let me ask
you this: Can you really understand your strengths without seeing your flaws?
Flaws don’t make you weak. They make you human. They make your journey real. They teach you
things that success never will. So, why hide them? Embrace them. They’re part of your growth,
part of your story

Are You Really Worth It?

That voice in your head—you know the one that whispers, You’re not enough. You’re not doing
enough. You’ll never get there.
Yeah, it’s hard to ignore, isn’t it? But here’s the thing: Worthiness isn’t earned. It’s realized.
We spend so much time measuring our worth by external achievements like money, career,
relationships. But what if worth is found in just being? In existing, in struggling, in learning, in
fighting through the tough days and still showing up? You are worthy, not because of what you’ve done, but because you’re here, right now, figuring it all out.

What Are You Becoming?

You know that feeling when you’re stuck in a loop, not sure if you’re moving forward or spiraling
in circles? Yeah, I get it.
But guess what? That’s growth. That’s the process. It’s not clean, it’s not linear, and it’s never as
easy as it looks from the outside. You will take steps backward. You will get lost. You will want to
quit.
But here’s the most important thing: you’re still becoming. You’re still evolving. Every decision,
every misstep, every success adds to the person you’re growing into. It’s all part of the journey

Love: The Unanswered Questions

Now let’s talk about love. That confusing, wonderful, yet often painful journey that we all seem to be on. If you’ve ever loved someone with everything you’ve got, only to see it slip through your fingers, you know exactly what I mean.
You give your all, you love without reservation, without holding back. You put your heart on the
line and expect nothing in return but to be loved the same way. But then out of nowhere, it
starts to unravel.

What happened? Why did it end up this way? Was it something you did? Were you too much, too little, or just not enough?

I’ve been there, too. The endless cycles of doubt, trying to figure out where things went wrong.
It’s hard to look in the mirror and ask yourself, What did I do wrong? But the truth is, love isn’t
always one-sided. It’s not just about giving and receiving, but about growing together. And
sometimes, love means letting go whether it’s because you’ve outgrown each other or because
you simply need to learn more about what love really is.

Love isn’t perfect. And maybe that’s the hardest thing to accept. Maybe you didn’t fail in love.
Maybe you’re just learning. And that’s okay. You’re still growing

The Work-Life Tightrope

Here’s something no one likes to admit: The balance between work and life is a myth.
You work hard. You work long hours. You try to maintain a social life, a personal life, a love life, all
while chasing the next promotion or milestone. But somehow, it never feels balanced. There’s
always more to do. More to prove. More to give.
But here’s the twist: Maybe balance doesn’t look like what society tells you. Maybe balance is
learning to let go of the idea of perfection. Maybe it’s realizing that some days you’ll be amazing
at work, and other days, you’ll need to be amazing at taking care of yourself.
So stop beating yourself up for not doing it all. Instead, ask yourself: What truly matters today?
And focus on that. That’s where you’ll find your balance.

So, What’s Next?

The thing about life is that there’s no clear finish line. We keep running, fighting, questioning,
growing. There’s no full stop. No moment where you finally say, I’m done growing. The real
question is: Are you ready to keep pushing, even when it feels like nothing’s moving?
The truth is, we’re all works in progress. We’re all a mess of doubts, fears, dreams, and potential.
But maybe that’s exactly what makes us worthy. Not our achievements, but our persistence. Our
ability to show up, time and time again.
So, are you winning? Maybe. Are you surviving? Absolutely. But above all, you’re learning, and
that’s what counts the most. Keep going, keep questioning, keep growing. Because, in the end,
it’s the fight that shapes us, not the victory.

Now, tell me, what are you becoming?

The Enigmatic Extrovert: Solving Your Problems, Ignoring Their Own

In the grand carnival of human personalities, there’s a standout performer—the enigmatic extrovert. Picture this: a social butterfly who’s also a vault, fluttering around solving everyone else’s problems but keeping their own thoughts locked away. They’re like your favorite detective show protagonist, minus the trench coat, but with all the mystery.

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Understanding the Enigmatic Extrovert

his person is like an emotional Swiss Army knife—ready to help you with everything from a mental paper cut to a full-blown existential crisis. They thrive in social settings, cracking jokes, and charming the crowd. But try asking about their own thoughts, and it’s like trying to get a cat to take a bath—good luck with that.

Challenges Faced

Despite their social prowess, enigmatic extroverts often feel like they’re living on an emotional desert island. They may think their own thoughts are about as interesting to others as watching paint dry. In today’s world of endless scrolling on social media (you know, the “Gram” where you can lose an entire afternoon in the blink of an eye), it’s easy for them to feel disconnected. It’s like trying to find Wi-Fi in the wilderness—frustrating and lonely.

Perspective of the Enigmatic Extrovert

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These social enigmas often stay mum about their own issues to keep the peace, thinking their problems are as small as a mouse’s sneeze compared to everyone else’s. They’re the ultimate self-sacrificers, always ready to be your emotional handyman while leaving their own toolbox untouched. But this noble facade can lead to a pressure cooker situation—eventually, something’s gotta give, and it won’t be pretty.

Self-Expression in the Digital Age

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In an era where oversharing on social media is as common as cat memes, our enigmatic extrovert is swimming against the current. They might find comfort in real, face-to-face conversations—yes, those still exist! Encouraging them to share in a judgment-free zone can be like giving a mime a microphone—suddenly, they’ve got a lot to say.

The Silence Conundrum

Their altruism is a double-edged sword. While they’re out there playing superhero for everyone else, their own silence can become kryptonite. Bottling up their thoughts can lead to a full-blown emotional implosion, like shaking a soda can and popping the top—it’s going to get messy.

Embracing Authenticity and Growth

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The key to helping our enigmatic extrovert lies in encouraging authenticity. Think of it as emotional CrossFit—building strength through vulnerability. By opening up, they can cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and resilience. It’s like finally getting that long-overdue oil change—suddenly, everything runs smoother.

Conclusion

In the end, the enigmatic extrovert is on a unique journey of self-discovery and connection. By recognizing their blend of social dynamism and inner contemplation, we can help them navigate their emotional landscape with confidence and authenticity. So next time you encounter one of these charismatic vaults, remember: a little empathy and understanding can unlock a world of growth and deeper connections. And who knows, you might just become the Watson to their Sherlock, helping them solve the greatest mystery of all—their own thoughts.

Life Punched Me in the Feels: How I’m Adulting (Maybe) in My Twenties

Back at it again with another dive into the glorious, messy, utterly bewildering world of being in your twenties. Think of this post as your survival guide, complete with emotional baggage allowances and a complimentary existential crisis coupon (because let’s be honest, those things come standard issue).

Friendship: From Peas in a Pod to… Pods That Grew Up?

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Remember those childhood BFFs where you swore you’d conquer the world together? Yeah, turns out the world can be a pretty darn confusing place to conquer. Friendships evolve, morph, and sometimes… well, they fizzle out like a birthday candle on a windy day. It’s a bittersweet truth, but hey, it makes space for new connections – the kind built on shared Netflix binges and the existential dread of student loan deadlines.

Dating: A Hilarious (and Occasionally Tearful) Rom-Com

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Ah, dating in your twenties. It’s like that rom-com where the meet-cute involves spilling coffee on your date’s meticulously crafted artisanal beard (true story, folks, true story). You learn what makes you tick (and what makes you run for the hills), develop ninja-level communication skills (because let’s face it, sometimes “it’s not you, it’s me” really means “it’s totally you, but I’m too polite to say it”). There will be heartbreaks, sure, but consider them like emotional bootcamp – they make you stronger, wiser, and way more prepared for the next adventure.

Loss: When the Laughter Gets Muffled

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Life throws curveballs, and sometimes those curveballs come in the form of profound loss. I recently lost a close friend, and let me tell you, grief is a real doozy. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to cry until your eyes runs out of tears and your nose looks like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’s distant cousin. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, but bottling it up like a vintage wine only leads to an emotional explosion that would make Mount Everest jealous. Talk about it, feel it, and allow yourself to heal. That’s how we honor the memories and keep the light of our loved ones burning brightly.

Moving On and Embracing the Unknown: Because Adulting is Basically Improv

The loss I experienced shifted my perspective. Life is precious, folks, and about as predictable as a toddler with a box of crayons. Here’s how I’m (attempting to) navigate this beautiful mess:

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  • Moving On: Grief doesn’t vanish overnight, but it gets easier to carry. I cherish the memories of my friend and allow them to inspire me to live life with the kind of gusto they would have celebrated. Think of it as carrying a tiny backpack filled with sunshine and laughter – a constant reminder to embrace the good stuff.
  • Late Twenties: The Age of Re-evaluation
    Ah, the late twenties. A time when you question everything from your career path to the questionable life choices that led you to that questionable haircut in college. (We’ve all been there, my friend, we’ve all been there.) Embrace the confusion! It’s a sign of growth, even if it feels like you’re wandering around Supermart blindfolded, desperately searching for the exit.
  • Going with the Flow: Because Plans Rarely Survive First Contact with Reality
    I used to be a control freak. My calendar was color-coded, my life meticulously planned. But life, that sly trickster, has a way of throwing wrenches into the best-laid plans. Lately, I’m focusing on enjoying the present moment, even if that means getting sucked into a reality TV show (don’t judge, we all have our guilty pleasures). It’s scary, yes, but it’s also incredibly liberating.

The Wins, the Losses, and the Unwritten Chapters

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My twenties haven’t been a walk in the park. There have been rejections, disappointments, and moments where I questioned my entire existence (existential crisis coupon, anyone?). But alongside those lows, there have been incredible highs – unexpected friendships, travel adventures that would make National Geographic jealous, and personal growth that feels like finally conquering that mountain of laundry that’s been living in the corner of your room for weeks.

The beauty of this stage is that I don’t have to have all the answers. Right now, my plan is to embrace the journey, learn from the experiences (good, bad, and hilariously awkward), and see where life takes me. Think of it

Failing Forward: How a Never-Give-Up Attitude Can Boost Your Mental Health

Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: The Benefits of Resilience and a Never-Give-Up Attitude

Dealing with failure is a difficult and often painful experience. Whether it’s failing an exam, losing a job, or experiencing a relationship breakup, failure can shake our confidence and leave us feeling defeated. But while failure is a natural part of life, it doesn’t have to be the end of the road. By cultivating a never-give-up attitude, we can learn from our failures, build resilience, and improve our mental health and well-being.

One of the most significant benefits of never giving up when dealing with failure is the ability to build resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, and it’s a key component of good mental health. When we face failure, it’s natural to feel discouraged and even defeated. But by persevering and continuing to work towards our goals, we can build resilience and learn from our mistakes.

Another benefit of never giving up is the opportunity to learn from our failures. Failure can be an excellent teacher, providing us with valuable insights into what went wrong and how we can do better in the future. By embracing failure as an opportunity for growth and learning, we can develop a more positive mindset and improve our mental health and well-being.

Here are some ways to cultivate a never-give-up attitude when dealing with failure:

  1. Practice self-compassion: When we experience failure, it’s easy to be hard on ourselves and engage in negative self-talk. But by practicing self-compassion and treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we can build resilience and maintain a positive attitude in the face of adversity.
  2. Reframe failure as an opportunity for growth: Instead of viewing failure as a defeat, try to reframe it as an opportunity for growth and learning. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and how you can use that knowledge to improve in the future.
  3. Seek support: Dealing with failure can be challenging, and it’s essential to have a support system in place. Reach out to friends, family, or a mental health professional for support and guidance.
  4. Set realistic goals: When we set unrealistic goals, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. Instead, set realistic goals that are achievable with hard work and perseverance. This can help us to stay motivated and focused on our goals, even when the going gets tough.
  5. Focus on the process, not just the outcome: It’s easy to get caught up in the end result and become discouraged when we don’t see immediate progress. But by focusing on the process and the steps we need to take to achieve our goals, we can stay motivated and make steady progress over time.
  6. Practice gratitude: When we’re dealing with failure, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and forget about the things that are going well. Practicing gratitude can help us to maintain a more positive mindset and improve our mental health and well-being.

Of course, there may be situations where it’s necessary to let go of a goal or pursuit, particularly if it’s causing us significant harm or distress. But even in these situations, it’s important to remember that giving up is not the same as giving in. We can still maintain a never-give-up attitude by continuing to persevere in other areas of our lives.

In conclusion, dealing with failure is never easy, but cultivating a never-give-up attitude can help us to build resilience, learn from our mistakes, and improve our mental health and well-being. By practicing self-compassion, reframing failure as an opportunity for growth, seeking support, setting realistic goals, focusing on the process, and practicing gratitude, we can develop the strength and perseverance needed to overcome life’s

Embracing Failure: Coping with Life’s Setbacks

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Failure is often seen as a negative and daunting experience that we try to avoid at all costs. We are conditioned to believe that success only comes from avoiding failure, but what if we told you that embracing failure can actually help us grow and become stronger individuals? Let’s explore the benefits of embracing failure and provide you with effective ways to cope with life’s setbacks. So, let’s dive in and learn how to turn our failures into opportunities for growth!

What is Failure?

Most of us have experienced failure at some point in our lives. Whether it’s a failed relationship, a job loss, or a failed business venture, failure can be a difficult thing to cope with.

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The first step to coping with failure is to accept that it has happened. This can be hard to do, but it’s important to remember that everyone experiences setbacks at times. Once you’ve accepted that you’ve failed, you can start to move on.

It’s also important to learn from your mistakes. Take some time to think about what went wrong and what you could have done differently. This can help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you’re struggling to cope with failure. There are many resources available to help you get through this tough time. Talk to a friend or family member, or seek out professional help if needed.

Understanding Your Emotional Response to Failure

Most of us have a pretty negative emotional response to failure. We feel embarrassed, ashamed, and defeated. We might even feel like giving up altogether.

It’s important to understand why we react this way to failure so that we can learn to cope with it in a healthy way. Our emotional response to failure is usually based on two things: our beliefs about failure and our past experiences with it.

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Our beliefs about failure can be either positive or negative. If we believe that failure is bad and that it will lead to more failures in the future, then we’re likely to have a negative emotional reaction to it. On the other hand, if we believe that failure is normal and that it can be a learning experience, then we’re more likely to handle it in a positive way.

Our past experiences with failure also play a role in how we react to it. If we’ve never failed before, or if our failures have always been followed by success, then we’re more likely to see failure as a temporary setback. But if we’ve experienced repeated failures, or if our failures have led to serious consequences, then we’re more likely to feel like giving up altogether.

The key to coping with failure is to change our beliefs about it and our past experiences with it. We need to see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than as a sign of defeat. And we need to remember that even the most successful people have failed at some point

How to Accept and Learn from Your Failures?

No one enjoys feeling like a failure, but it is an inevitable part of life. At some point, we all will face setbacks and feel like we have failed. It is important to remember that these failures do not define us. They are simply opportunities to learn and grow.

If you find yourself struggling to cope with failure, here are a few tips to help you accept and learn from your mistakes:

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  1. Acknowledge your feelings. It is okay to feel upset, angry, or disappointed after experiencing a setback. Allow yourself to grieve your loss and then move on.
  2. Take responsibility for your role in the failure. It is important, to be honest with yourself about what went wrong. This can be difficult, but it is a necessary step in learning from your mistakes.
  3. Learn from your mistakes. Once you have taken responsibility for your role in the failure, it is time to start making changes so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes in the future. Reflect on what went wrong and make a plan to avoid similar situations in the future.
  1. Forgive yourself. Beating yourself over your failures will only make things worse. Accept that you made a mistake and then let it go so that you can move on with your life.
  2. Seek support from others if needed. If you are finding it difficult to cope with your failure, seek out support from family and friends or consider talking to

Strategies for Coping with Failure

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–Identify what went wrong: Take some time to reflect on what led to the failure. This can help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

–Set realistic goals: After reflection, set achievable goals for yourself. Trying to accomplish too much at once can lead to discouragement and further setbacks.

–Build a support network: Talk to friends or family members who can offer encouragement and advice. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has been through a similar experience.

Turning Setbacks into Successes

There’s no denying that life is full of setbacks. At some point, we all face challenges and adversity. The key is to not let these setbacks define us. Instead, we must learn from our mistakes and use them as motivation to become better versions of ourselves.

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It’s easy to dwell on our failures and allow them to consume us. However, this only leads to further disappointment and frustration. If we want to move forward in life, we need to accept that setbacks are inevitable and learn from them.

One way to do this is to take a step back and assess the situation objectively. What went wrong? What could you have done differently? Once you’ve identified the root cause of the problem, you can start working on a plan to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

It’s also important to remember that setbacks are often temporary. They may feel like they’re holding you back, but if you stay positive and keep pushing forward, you’ll eventually reach your goals.

So don’t let setbacks get you down. Embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow. With a little effort, you can turn any setback into a success story!

Finding a Support System

No one is immune to experiencing failures and setbacks in life. At some point, everyone will face challenges and feel like they’re struggling to cope. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in these times and that there are people who care about you and want to help.

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One of the best things you can do when facing a setback is to find a support system. This could be a group of friends or family members who can offer words of encouragement or even a professional therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings. Talking openly about what you’re going through can be incredibly helpful in managing your emotions and helping you move on from your setback.

If you don’t have anyone in your life to who you feel comfortable talking about your struggles, there are still plenty of ways to get support. There are many online forums and communities dedicated to helping people through difficult times. Reading articles or blog posts about other people’s experiences can also provide some comfort and understanding. Remember, you’re not alone in this; there are people all over the world who understand what you’re going through and are here to support you.

Conclusion

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Life is full of setbacks and failures, but it’s how we cope with these moments that make us who we are. Embracing failure can be a difficult thing to do, but by taking the time to reflect on what happened and learning from our mistakes, we can use them as an opportunity for growth. Make sure you take care of yourself during this process – talk to people who understand your struggles and seek professional help if needed – so that you can come out stronger on the other side. With enough patience, resilience, and determination, embracing failure will become second nature.

Kindness Matters! : The Relationship Between Volunteering and Your Health

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Volunteering can help you make friends, learn new skills, advance your career, and even feel happier and healthier. Learn how to find the right volunteer opportunity for you.

Why volunteer?

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With busy lives, it can be hard to find time to volunteer. However, the benefits of volunteering can be enormous. Volunteering offers vital help to people in need, worthwhile causes, and the community, but the benefits can be even greater for you, the volunteer. The right match can help you to find friends, connect with the community, learn new skills, and even advance your career.

Giving to others can also help protect your mental and physical health. It can reduce stress, combat depression, keep you mentally stimulated, and provide a sense of purpose. While it’s true that the more you volunteer, the more benefits you’ll experience, volunteering doesn’t have to involve a long-term commitment or taking a huge amount of time out of your busy day. Giving in even simple ways can help those in need and improve your health and happiness.

Benefits of volunteering: 4 ways to feel healthier and happier

  1. Volunteering connects you to others.
  2. Volunteering is good for your mind and body.
  3. Volunteering can advance your career.
  4. Volunteering brings fun and fulfillment to your life.

Benefit 1: Volunteering connects you to others

One of the more well-known benefits of volunteering is the impact on the community. Volunteering allows you to connect to your community and make it a better place. Even helping out with the smallest tasks can make a real difference in the lives of people, animals, and organizations in need. And volunteering is a two-way street: It can benefit you and your family as much as the cause you choose to help. Dedicating your time as a volunteer helps you make new friends, expand your network, and boost your social skills.

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Make new friends and contacts

One of the best ways to make new friends and strengthen existing relationships is to commit to a shared activity together. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people, especially if you are new to an area. It strengthens your ties to the community and broadens your support network, exposing you to people with common interests, neighborhood resources, and fun and fulfilling activities.

Increase your social and relationship skills

While some people are naturally outgoing, others are shy and have a hard time meeting new people. Volunteering gives you the opportunity to practice and develop your social skills since you are meeting regularly with a group of people with common interests. Once you have momentum, it’s easier to branch out and make more friends and contacts.

Benefit 2: Volunteering is good for your mind and body

Volunteering provides many benefits to both mental and physical health.

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Volunteering helps counteract the effects of stress, anger, and anxiety. The social contact aspect of helping and working with others can have a profound effect on your overall psychological well-being. Nothing relieves stress better than a meaningful connection to another person. Working with pets and other animals has also been shown to improve mood and reduce stress and anxiety.

Volunteering combats depression. Volunteering keeps you in regular contact with others and helps you develop a solid support system, which in turn protects you against depression.

Volunteering makes you happy. By measuring hormones and brain activity, researchers have discovered that being helpful to others delivers immense pleasure. Human beings are hard-wired to give to others. The more we give, the happier we feel.

I have limited mobility—can I still volunteer?

People with disabilities or chronic health conditions can still benefit greatly from volunteering. In fact, research has shown that adults with disabilities or health conditions ranging from hearing and vision loss to heart disease, diabetes, or digestive disorders all show improvement after volunteering.

Whether due to a disability, a lack of transportation, or time constraints, many people choose to volunteer their time via phone or computer. In today’s digital age, many organizations need help with writing, graphic design, email, and other web-based tasks. Some organizations may require you to attend an initial training session or periodical meetings while others can be conducted completely remotely. In any volunteer situation, make sure that you are getting enough social contact, and that the organization is available to support you should you have questions.

Benefit 3: Volunteering can advance your career

If you’re considering a new career, volunteering can help you get experience in your area of interest and meet people in the field. Even if you’re not planning on changing careers, volunteering gives you the opportunity to practice important skills used in the workplace, such as teamwork, communication, problem-solving, project planning, task management, and organization. You might feel more comfortable stretching your wings at work once you’ve honed these skills in a volunteer position first.

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Teaching you valuable job skills

Just because volunteer work is unpaid does not mean the skills you learn are basic. Many volunteering opportunities provide extensive training. For example, you could become an experienced crisis counselor while volunteering for a women’s shelter or a knowledgeable art historian while donating your time as a museum docent.

Volunteering can also help you build upon skills you already have and use them to benefit the greater community. For instance, if you hold a successful sales position, you can raise awareness for your favorite cause as a volunteer advocate, while further developing and improving your public speaking, communication, and marketing skills.

When it comes to volunteering, passion and positivity are the only requirements
While learning new skills can be beneficial to many, it’s not a requirement for a fulfilling volunteer experience. Bear in mind that the most valuable assets you can bring to any volunteer effort are compassion, an open mind, a willingness to pitch in wherever needed, and a positive attitude.

Benefit 4: Volunteering brings fun and fulfillment to your life

Volunteering is a fun and easy way to explore your interests and passions. Doing volunteer work you find meaningful and interesting can be a relaxing, energizing escape from your day-to-day routine of work, school, or family commitments. Volunteering also provides you with renewed creativity, motivation, and vision that can carry over into your personal and professional life.

Getting the most out of volunteering

You’re donating your valuable time, so it’s important that you enjoy and benefit from your volunteering. To make sure that your volunteer position is a good fit:

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Ask questions. You want to make sure that the experience is right for your skills, your goals, and the time you want to spend. Sample questions for your volunteer coordinator might address your time commitment if there’s any training involved, who you will be working with, and what to do if you have questions during your experience.

Make sure you know what’s expected. You should be comfortable with the organization and understand the time commitment. Consider starting small so that you don’t over-commit yourself at first. Give yourself some flexibility to change your focus if needed.

Don’t be afraid to make a change. Don’t force yourself into a bad fit or feel compelled to stick with a volunteer role you dislike. Talk to the organization about changing your focus or looking for a different organization that’s a better fit.

If volunteering overseas, choose carefully. Some volunteer programs abroad can cause more harm than good if they take much-needed paying jobs away from local workers. Look for volunteer opportunities with reputable organizations.

Enjoy yourself. The best volunteer experiences benefit both the volunteer and the organization. If you’re not enjoying yourself, ask yourself why. Is it the tasks you’re performing? The people you’re working with? Or are you uncomfortable simply because the situation is new and unfamiliar? Pinpointing what’s bothering you can help you decide how to proceed.

Where to find volunteer opportunities?

The key is to find a position that you would enjoy and are capable of doing. It’s also important to make sure that your commitment matches the organization’s needs. One such organization like Robin Hood Army provides you volunteer opportunities.

Founded in Delhi in 2014, the RHA operates in 430 cities in 11 countries and serves an average of 500,000 people a week — without accepting any money for their services. It has served more than 100 million meals so far. When restaurants tell them they have surplus food, volunteers — who number more than 100,000 — use their own vehicles to pick up and distribute the food.

RHA Academy provides basic primary education to more than 10,000 street children with the goal of building a bridge between the street and the classroom by equipping our kids with the skills they need to attend school.

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How to Grow Up: Overcoming Being Ghosted

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Ghosting hurts!!

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If you’ve ever been ghosted by someone you care about you know how painful it can be.

Ghosting is a relatively new colloquial dating term that refers to abruptly cutting off contact with someone without giving that person any warning or explanation for doing so. Even when the person being ghosted reaches out to re-initiate contact or gain closure, they’re met with silence.

The term ‘Ghosting‘ gained popularity long before [2017] via ‘90s hip-hop, often in the sense of escaping.

BREE JENKINS, LMFT
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The pace of modern life makes it hard enough to maintain real-life friendships; it’s impossible to actually be friends with everyone you’re supposedly simpatico with online. (Here’s a good test: How many of your Facebook friends are real? If you’ve met someone once and now they’re on your feed for life, get rid of them! If a friendship feels like too much work, maybe it is. The good ones shouldn’t feel like a chore on your to-do list, or that one side is doing all the communicating). Sometimes the best course is to let someone go, even if you were once close. Growing apart can be a friendship’s natural evolution; ditto for lovers, and even touchier discourse. But it’s the way you let go that matters.

Why Do Some People Choose to Ghost?

There are two primary reasons why a person ghosts another, and often it’s a combination of the two.

It’s the Easy Route

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The first is that some find it’s way easier (in the short-term, anyway) to ghost someone than to have an awkward, uncomfortable heart-to-heart about why you’re not interested in maintaining contact.

The person doing the ghosting often wants to avoid confrontation or dealing with someone else’s hurt feelings, so they simply cease all communication and hope the hint is delivered.

Option Overload and Fatigue

“With internet dating comes what may seem like infinite choices as opposed to walking into a bar and having limited options,”

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“Because there are so many choices, online daters are quick to have the ‘OK, next’ or the ‘Yeah, but what else?’ mindset,”. “Sometimes the person is nice enough, but is juggling a few other people and that person just didn’t make the cut.”

If you have recently been ghosted, know that it’s not your fault: People may choose to ghost because they think it’s easier than explaining themselves. They may even be more inclined to do so during this stressful time. However, those who ghost sometimes don’t realize just how hurtful their vanishing acts can be.

So, I invite you to come on a ghostee’s journey and learn some ways to move on.

Stage 1: The restlessness

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You just returned home from a first date. Do you think it went well? You send a text to schedule the next one.

Every time your phone vibrates, you pounce, only to see that it’s a message from a friend asking you to go grocery shopping with them. Did something happen to your new “boo”? Judging by that green dot though, you know that someone’s active on Messenger, just not replying. Yikes.

Move-on tip: Trust your gut that something feels off. Compare your situation with these tell-tale red flags:

Received excuses to cancel and flake on plans? Check.

How about responses that are few and far between? Yes.

Got a feeling that you’re the one making more investments? Sigh, yes.

Stage 2: The recognition

You start to realize it’s over. You predict that your love life is done for like it’s been flattened by an elephant. To detoxify, you divert energy into some comforting exercises, like cooking your meals for the week. You start chopping onions to become (temporarily) immune to crying for lost causes.

You make your heartbreaker your muse, and decide to:

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  • Cut your own hair by following a tutorial YouTube recommended to you 
  • Drink lots of water, because “drinking water” is a solution to many of life’s problems
  • Pen a Korean drama screenplay—this way, you’ll get famous and too busy maintaining your reputation to think about people who wronged you

Move-on tip: Talk it out with people you trust, or confide in your journal to work through your feelings.

Stage 3: The relapse

You feel as though you’ve lost a part of yourself. This whole thing sucks, you think because you can’t exactly physically confront this person, even if you wanted to.

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Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough?

These thoughts are debilitating, but you give in to them regardless. You wonder if they are the Premium version and if you’ve somehow unlocked the “unlimited subscription” option.

No matter what the reason was, remember: Your ghost should have communicated and given you closure. You’re not to blame.

The prospect of giving in to escapist tendencies may seem alluring—but you know you will move on. Just not now.

Move-on tip: Give yourself time, food, sleep—whatever lowers your blood pressure and makes you feel better, but set a time limit to maintain a moderate work-wallow balance. 

Stage 4: The 99.9% recovery

Time’s passed. You no longer feel inadequate. You tell yourself that it’s all because Mercury and Venus were (and are no longer) retrograde. You also see that you’re already on a tight student budget, and giving out any more undeserved emotional investments can be costly. 

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But sometimes you do get those memories, where certain food, song lyrics, or words remind you of your ghost (or the date you had over the Internet ether).

But remember, you are in control.

Life events are up to your interpretation. You can choose how you feel, react, move on.

Move-on tip: Learn from this experience and see that letting go is being kind to yourself. 

Stage #bonus: The revenant

What if just when you thought this was over, your ghost returns from beyond the grave?

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Maybe your ghost is benching (checking back to keep options open)?

Or zombieing (sending a sudden message for a renewed relationship)?

Or maybe your ghost never left and was orbiting this whole time (voyeuristically keeping tabs on your social media activity).

Move-on tip: You may want to swipe left on your ghost’s reappearances. Or, you may want to give them a second chance. Whatever you choose, think it through—only you know what you feel and want.

Getting over getting ghosted can take time. Give yourself the space you need, find what makes you happy, and treat yourself the way you would a friend. No matter how you’re feeling, I offer you Facebook’s “Care” reaction!

A word from CUT Mental

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Ghosting has grown more widespread in the digital era, but just because something is simple or ubiquitous doesn’t always mean it’s the best option. Consider the consequences of ghosting for both parties, and do your best to treat others with respect and honesty. It’s normal to be puzzled, unhappy, and furious if you’ve been ghosted. Sending a simple message to stop the relationship yourself might help you restore control and confidence in yourself while also providing closure.

If, on the other hand, you feel intimidated or genuinely uncomfortable by someone, you owe them nothing. When done wisely, ghosting may be a beneficial way of self-protection and distancing yourself from a potentially dangerous circumstance.

How to manage emotional energy for mental well-being

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Every human being has the same amount of time in a day, regardless of age, geography, socioeconomic condition, or ethnicity: 24 hours, 1440 minutes, and 86400 seconds. That appears to be rather basic. But why do some individuals appear to be able to accomplish more, take more vacations, be completely engaged in all parts of their life, and still have more physical, mental, and emotional energy? How do they appear to have more time?

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Meanwhile, most of us are simply scraping by. Our day does not begin without a cup of coffee to wake us up and give us the energy we need to go through the day. We chose quick and fast snacks in our rush to get to our next meeting, activity, or duty.

Workplace pressures and demands drive us to lose patience. We are angry, reactive, and hurried, which causes us to make casual mistakes or forget basic tasks. We’re exhausted at the end of the day. We simply want to recline on the sofa, unwind, and unwind with a glass of our favorite poison. We feel overloaded and fatigued as if there isn’t enough time in the day.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? You might think, “well, if only I had more time…”

 The number of hours in a day is fixed, but the quantity and quality of energy available to us are not. It is our most precious resource. The more we take responsibility for the energy we bring to the world, the more empowered and productive we become.

What Is Emotional Energy?

Emotional energy, as simple as it may appear, is the energy we derive from our emotions. Simply defined, our emotions generate our energy, and various emotions resonate at different frequencies. I realize this may seem a little “woo woo,” but bear with me.

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Emotional Guidance Scale

Consider a period when you felt joyful and full of energy, as if you were on top of the world. It may have been a job promotion or increase, your first kiss with your partner, going to a new nation, or simply laughing till your stomach ached with your closest friend.

High-frequency vibrations represent the feelings you felt at the moment, such as joy, love, passion, and excitement. You felt like you had an endless supply of energy in those moments—you could continue all night! Your energy was abundant since your emotions were high-frequency vibrations. You were transmitting high-frequency vibrations!

Fear, sadness, melancholy, and insecurity are some of the lowest frequency vibrations on the spectrum. When you look back to a point in your life when you split up with someone you truly loved, lost your job, or were unhappy or sad, your emotional energy was probably low.

What Drains Your Emotional Energy?

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Here are the most common things that drain your emotional energy.

  • Excessive worrying
  • Negativity
  • Guilt
  • Indecision
  • Overcommitting/overwhelm
  • Lack of healthy boundaries
  • Negative rumination

How Can You Increase Your Emotional Energy?

Our emotions provide us with energy. In other words, the emotions we experience become the energy we emit into the world, and the energy we emit tends to attract the energy we emit. “Like attracts like,” “birds of a feather flock together”—this is the law of attraction in action.

If you take an honest look at your life and the people you associate with, would you say they are largely negative or mostly good influences? Are they depressing or uplifting? The outside world serves as a mirror for you. It just mirrors what is going on inside of you.

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This isn’t “good” or “bad.” There is no condemnation here; it simply “is.” It is critical to remember that now is not the time for self-criticism. It is merely an evaluation of what is.

Take an honest look at your situation, finances, friendships, or any area you wish to concentrate on. Is it all you hoped for and imagined? If not, it is critical to analyze some of the ideas, thoughts, and emotions associated with those regions. The good news is that it is entirely up to you.

If our energy is derived from our emotions, it follows that you have the ability to modify your emotions and hence your energy. “Emovere,” the Latin derivation of the word emotion, literally means “move forth, agitate”—to send energy in motion.

So, let’s get that energy into motion! Here are five ideas on how to manage your emotional energy for mental well-being.

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1. Do Things That You Love and Enjoy

This appears to be rather straightforward. Consider this: when was the last time you purposefully set aside time to do activities you love and enjoy? I’m guessing you’ve been feeling overloaded and drained for quite some time. Schedule a few hours this weekend to do something you actually enjoy that brings you joy. You’ve earned it.

2. Surround Yourself With Positive People Who Lift You Up

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Then, surround yourself with good people and cut ties with unhealthy acquaintances and connections. If the toxic connection is with a family member, attempt to restrict your time with them and make your interactions nice. This may be challenging at first, but if you are working with high-frequency vibrations (as seen in the chart above), your energy will boost the vibrations of that encounter.

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3. Learn How to Say “No” Without Feeling Guilty

It is OK to decline an invitation. Saying “no” to others is equivalent to saying “yes” to yourself. And you are the world’s most important person. There will be no one to care for those you love if there is no you. Before aiding others, put on your own oxygen mask. Self-care is not self-indulgent.

4. Stop “Should-ing” Yourself

I think that words have tremendous power and that how we frame and utilize words has the ability to shape our experiences. Remove the phrase “shouldn’t” from your vocabulary. The word conveys a great deal of weight, burden, remorse, and condemnation.

Remove the word “shouldn’t” and see how it changes these sentences:

  • “I shouldn’t have watched so much TV.” ➡ “I watched so much TV.”
  • “I shouldn’t have wasted time on this.” ➡ “I wasted time on this.”
  • “That shouldn’t have happened.” ➡ “That happened.”
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When the word “shouldn’t” is removed, the action or occurrence becomes fully neutral. It transforms it from a “negative” to a matter of fact, neither good nor bad just what is. It permits you to transition from a state of neutrality to one of responsibility. If you did anything wrong, ask yourself, “What did I learn?”

When you continuously “should-ing” oneself, events, or actions, you get trapped in the past. We can’t undo the past (surprise!) and this keeps you in a victim mindset or blaming yourself.

A more crucial question to ask oneself is, “What else might I do?” Learn, reflect, and proceed. “What am I going to do in the future?”

Replace “should” with “choose to”. Watch how these words shift how you experience these phrases.

  • “I should go for a run and exercise.” ➡ “I choose to go for a run and exercise.”
  • “I should stop this negative self-talk.” ➡ “I choose to stop this negative self-talk.”
  • “I should be more patient.” ➡ “I choose to be more patient.”

Replace “should” with “choose to” and you’re suddenly in command. You are in control. You have the option of doing something. You are given an option, not merely an “I should” and then do nothing. “I choose to” permits you to take ownership and accountability for your actions.

5. Meditation and Mindfulness

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Mindfulness is the discipline of paying attention to every emotion that arises, without identifying it as a part of oneself, but simply noting it and being inquisitive about it. There is no room for judgement when there is curiosity. Acceptance is much easier to follow when there is no judgment.

Many scientific studies demonstrate that mindfulness meditation is excellent at lowering stress and can enhance physical and mental health by positively modifying the brain and biology. Researchers examined over 200 trials on mindfulness in healthy adults and discovered that mindfulness-based treatment was particularly helpful for lowering stress, anxiety, and depression.

Conclusion

The more we take responsibility for the energy we bring to the world, the more empowered and productive we become.

Jim Loehr

It is your job to direct the energy you expend. It is empowering to recognise this. It implies you have power over your energy and mental well-being—not the environment, not other people, but YOU! You get to be the one in charge of your life.

So, are you ready to drive?

More Tips on How to Manage Your Emotional Energy?

When Everything Seems To Be Going Wrong

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“Are you kidding me, what else could possibly go wrong?” “Can it get any worse?” Most of us have probably said something similar at some point in our lives when emotional, financial, relationship or health setbacks seemed to pile up. However, this type of thinking, also known as “stinking thinking,” is not beneficial. In fact, it could be quite dangerous. Negative thinking breeds more negative thinking, leaving little if any, room for positive thinking to reap its benefits.

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“It’s only a matter of time before something else terrible happens,” you think. “Bad things always happen to me,” becomes a roadblock to positive thinking and prevents you from focusing on the positive aspects of your life. Most unfortunate events in life are beyond your control, so wasting emotional energy on negative thoughts like, “Why me?!” or “What’s next?” is a dead-end proposition that only leads to more negative stinking thinking. A healthier approach is to simply acknowledge the bad things that have happened as negative events and focus on what is good in your life, such as people who bring you joy or activities that make you feel happy, contented, and grateful.

A word of caution: Be cautious about who you share your misery with. Some people will respond to your situation with negative comments such as “When it rains, it pours” or “Bad things come in threes, so be careful,” which only add to the negativity and add to your worried thoughts and feelings of anguish. As a result, be cautious to only share your distress with people who will provide you with strength and positivity.

Positive thoughts, actions, and beliefs provide strength, so strive to avoid negativity in all situations. Remember, when life hits you hard, acknowledge it as painful and difficult, and then choose to surround yourself with positivity and people who bring you joy and happiness.

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it.

TRICKS AND COMFORTING THOUGHTS THAT MAY WORK

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  • Visualize yourself succeeding

Even imagining yourself on the other side of a problem can activate a powerful belief in your ability to succeed. Even if you don’t know how to win today, believing that you can—even if it’s a “blind” belief—can be empowering if it’s a belief in yourself.

  • Avoid making important life decisions when your life-condition is low.
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In general, the sorts of ideas you’ll have are always more indicative of your current life situation than of the situations in which you find yourself. You’ll be better able to avoid future sorrow if you can consciously detect when circumstances have brought you down, resulting in gloomy sensations and defeatist thoughts—thoughts that, when your life condition is better, are nowhere to be found.

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  • Force yourself to focus on one problem at a time

Concentrate on what is simplest, most important, or can be solved as quickly as possible. Reducing the overall number of obstacles you face will be a huge relief and will help resist the inclination to feel defeated when confronted with what appears to be an overwhelming amount of problems.

  • Let go.
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One of the most crucial lessons to learn in order to quit overthinking is that you cannot control everything. There will always be events that are beyond your control. So accept your anxieties and confront them. Don’t be scared to make a mistake. Because each failure will teach you crucial life lessons that will only help you improve.

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  • Talk to a mentor.

When you’re stuck, an outsider’s perspective may often assist you to overcome your inclination to overthink and overanalyze. So don’t be frightened to seek assistance. Tell someone you respect about your difficulties. Most individuals will be pleased to assist you and will appreciate the fact that you respect them enough to ask for their assistance.

WHEN YOU FEEL COMPLETELY DEFEATED

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Or maybe it’s even worse for you than I’ve described. Maybe you feel like everyone and everything is conspiring against you, that no one sees things quite the way you do, and that you’re alone in the wilderness and the world. When this is how you feel, you must summon up the stand-alone spirit. Even if everyone and everything—the entire world—is pointing left, if you believe the correct direction to point is right, then point to the right you must. Society, discovery, and culture are advanced by people who have every reason to remain seated but who stand up anyway; by people who resolutely and consistently point out what they believe is true.

Are You Ready to Commit And Change Your Life?