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| Tue January 06, 2026, 05:00 PM |
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[Politics] Expect boots on the ground
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Your jellyfish Democratic "opposition" party "leadership", folks. bUt tRuMp
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Florida Man, you keep being you
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Ah, so the elites are going with normalization
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Trump's full speech at the Republican "Retreat". It is so bizarre that there should be an immediate invocation of the 25th, but we all are so inured to how farking unhinged this delusional autocrat is, that it is just met with mute embarrassment
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Brown/MIT shooter planned for at least 6 semesters, which is a weird way to measure time. Do you include summer school, because that shortens it from 3 years to 2. Did he take a semester off?
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| (Chemistry World) |
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[STEM] New generation of AI agents set to democratize computational chemistry, taking a tricky science away from big labs and specialists in "archaic and horrible text files" and bringing it to your home where you can investigate anything chemically
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[TotalFark] Wyoming Supreme Court strikes down first-of-its-kind ban on abortion pills
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[Sports] Ravens to John Harbaugh: Never more
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[Main] Just squint and this stock footage of French Polynesia looks just like Albany
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[Food] "What Kind Of Mayo Does Subway Use? Here's What We Know." Clearly no one in the food world cares about the topic except us, so we had to report it by trawling Reddit
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[Main] Photoshop this hole-y building
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Photoshop this circular within circular bookstore shelving
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[Main] Photoshop this random assortment of doodads and thingamabobs
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[Politics] Sure, we've had a million documents, but what about a second million?
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[Politics] A global agreement for a minimum 15% tax on corporations will finally bring fairness* to global taxation policy. Or it would have except Trump just pulled the US out of it
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Trump: "We're going to get so much oil out of Venezuela so fast, and it will be amazing, the best." Oil companies: Yeah, about that
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 02:00 PM |
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Man, 26, dies noisily in Utah Birth Canal
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GOP House majority drops to 218-213 as Rep. Doug LaMalfa (R-Cal) suddenly dies at age 65
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[Politics] A little too on the nose: CDC says all diseases available to those that want them
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[Politics] With only 1% of the Trump Epstein files made public, though heavily redacted and 99% still being held despite court order to release them, the question is: What have we learned so far about Trump's Epstein involvement, and why still hold back 99%?
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[Fandom] Yeah, some of them didn't age well
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[Sports] KKThxBai
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[Politics] And so it begins
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[Fandom] Gotta steal 'em all
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[Politics] The House has the votes to override Trump's vetoes
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[Politics] Michael Rapaport announces plans to run against Zohran Mamdani for Mayor because of his huge farking ego
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[Business] Looks like NYC's congestion pricing has turned out to be a win-win-win
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[Main] Today is take down the Christmas tree day. Funny, I thought it was take down the Capitol day
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[Fandom] Fashion your seatbelts. Anime Boston announces special guest performer
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[Food] Champagne and all foreign booze is being tariffed off the menu, but what's to celebrate anyway?
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I swear that companies and businesses actually have enough people to answer calls. And that the increasingly long and infuriating hold times with bad, repetitive music is all an elaborate psychological test
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[Main] Brits invent new unit of measure
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[Main] Financial Times not clowning around on the topic of X's deepfake porn/CSAM problem
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Hell hath no fury like a Midwesterner scorned
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The US Department of War has a special request for Canada
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[Food] Bones Coffee released a Fallout version because bones and fallout and apocalypse and death and.... they just want to run on the brand and sell coffee
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[Politics] First Millennial saint vows to aid the people of Venezuela
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 01:00 PM |
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[Discussion] What happened to Happy Hour?
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[Business] Based on sales, it shall be renamed the Honda Quaalude
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[Discussion] Keep trolling us Gen X types with stupid crap like "Espresso Martini" Brown Is Both Nostalgic and Excitingly Dramatic" as we flick clove cigarettes in your grill, avocado toast
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[Food] Jules will no longer see Big Kahuna Burger ads in the UK, no word about Vincent when he's in France
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Annnd there it is. We all predicted it, but e ACTUALLY SAID it outload, and yes he meant it
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Oops our bad: Police tell wrong family their teen has died after fatal crash (possible nsfw content on page)
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[Fandom] Logan Paul's pitch for ___________________ (insert anything here) is brain poison
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[Business] If drivers keep trying to beat the train at the rail crossing, put up a REALLY loud warning sign. Fark: it's no longer there, but you can buy a small replica of it for your model train layout
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Impeachment calls for Trump growing amid fallout over Venezuela operation
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[Sports] Ranking the most disappointing college foosball teams for the 2025 season. Wisconsin no longer being mentioned because there are no expectations now
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[Politics] America's dad continues to tell it like it is:"We just attended a wedding which was a joyous day with two empty seats from someone who's murdered. But 'there's rumors out there.' That's frickin' evil. And everyone of you in this room knows it's evil"
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[STEM] Feeeeeeeeeeeels liiiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeeeeee aaaaaaaa toooooooooootaaaaaaaaal giiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiick
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[Politics] Musk brags about dining with Trump and Melania at Mar-a-Lago, apparently forgetting all his Epstein accusations of just a few months ago. The internet helpfully reminds him
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[Politics] "Thank you you Mister Tariff" Can we just do the 25th and get it over with?
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[Sports] HEY, THOM It's the most savage Pittsburgh Dad ever
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You ever get the feeling that the worst leaders of the world are all old, frail, flailing, and exceedingly dumb? And all excelling in stupidity on their way out the door?
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In case of accidental ingestion of poison, read this official statement from the Piggy White House commemorating the 5th anniversary of the January 6 terrorist attack on the US Capital to induce vomiting
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[Fandom] So who's riding shotgun in Algernop Krieger's van now?
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 12:00 PM |
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[Entertainment] Jack White and Eminem have never rocked/rapped harder
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How a Maldives vacation became so surprisingly affordable. Huh. That could be cool. *Googles airfare for a 1-week trip next week, finds economy prices starting at $1400**Googles lodging, finds prices from $1000/night on up* Alrighty, then
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[Discussion] The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern
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[Sports] All of that sweet, sweet last second Oh Fark badge money must have been enough to convince transfer QB Kenny Minchey to flip from Nebraska to Kentucky
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[Main] How to help your body detox. Drink light beer?
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[STEM] Scientists find dentin inside wolffish teeth is a very rare material, helps it with howling underwater
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Meanwhile, in Venezuela, the detention of journalists has begun. I guess Stinky really is in charge
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CFNY: The Spirit of Radio
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If you missed out on all the wild fun of Christianity's big Jubilee year, sorry, but it's too late. Pope Leo has shut the holy door
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[Politics] So the guy who allegedly smashed JV Dunce's windows is a MAGA
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[Politics] Here's how cocaine smuggling through Latin America actually works. Now can we talk about the Epstein Files?
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[Discussion] Dear Market Watch, I'm still binging my ex-boyfriends Netflix account. I feel dirty. Does this make me a thief that will die all alone in my apartment full of cats?
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[STEM] "The 20-Year Wait for Graphene is Over" - stop laughing
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US Representative Doug DaMalfa (R-CA1) dies suddenly at 65. Only 218 more to go
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[Politics] Ukraine's allies meet in Paris under clouds of uncertainty after the United States joins the Axis of Evil
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[Discussion] "Why do people still want a BlackBerry phone?" Because they still work?
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Trump Administration on Greenland: "We live in a world, in the real world, Jake, that is governed by strength, that is governed by force, that is governed by power. These are the iron laws of the world since the beginning of time"
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[Main] Lego releases the final 75 Ideas product qualifiers for 2025. Bob's Burgers, Christmas Vacation, Sailor Moon, and Scooby-Doo all overrepresented with 2 sets each
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[Main] Today's 2-hr serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from...*checks notes* oh well this should be interesting. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #760. Starts @ 1:00PM ET, LGT streaming options
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The leaders of several European countries tell █████ to keep his tiny hands off Greenland
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| (Some Squeaky Voice) |
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[STEM] He, He, He... you want the regular helium or the hi-test?
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[Main] Florida Man, just released from prison for armed burglary, could not resist the sweet, sweet allure of Dollar General
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[Politics] Hilton removes hotel from its network for throwing broken ICE machine to the curb
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 11:00 AM |
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[Politics] TV station WZZM on-air interview captures a crime in progress. Being live may have saved suspect from being beaten senseless by cops
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[Main] New 'AI PC' is so AI it has a dedicated AI button on it, which means there'll be nothing standing between you and an instantaneous injection of hype
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[Fandom] Speedrunner turns Mario Kart World into a 3D platformer. Huh, Nintendo should turn that into a standalone game. They could make a ton
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[Politics] Billion$ and Blood: One way or another, US citizens will pay to rebuild Venezuela's oil infrastructure
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[Politics] Quiet, Piggy
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How farked up is public education in Arizona due to underfunding, charter schools, and declining birth rates? One district is closing schools and thinking that moving seventh and eighth graders to a high school setting is a great idea
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[Discussion] For the next time someone says "We'll save some money by having AI do it"
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Trump once again proves to be the pettiest man alive
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[Politics] The 1% are protecting the other 99%
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[Politics] Turns out our plans for Venezuela is pretty much that Bevis and Butthead episode where they "sell" all the candy to each other by passing a dollar back and forth between them
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[STEM] Fatigue before cancer treatment linked to adverse events. Because if it's one thing cancer is known for, is its ability to uplift its victims, mentally and physically
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[Politics] Article on 'why Trump needs Greenland' focuses on 'profitable' at the expense of 'legal' or 'moral' justifications
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[STEM] "Psychological traits that may fuel conspiracy theorist mindset identified" claims unvaxed totally not alien JFK assassin sentient brainworm
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[Sports] T to the Izzo tells former player to get the F to the izzout
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[STEM] The Soundgarden-Devo mash-up you've always dreamed of has arrived. Good
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[Main] Seattle is one of the top five best US cities for dating, survey finds. Sure, it may be dark and gloomy most of the year, but for those five days when the sun comes out you better grab hold of something because it's a Mildew Rumspringa all up in here
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[STEM] Looks like we've been cleared to attempt landings on Europa
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[Politics] Trump is the rightenest person to ever be right in the history of right people. No one has ever been righter than him. Believe him
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[STEM] Study finds jellyfish need naps. Yellow sponge wearing pants seen taking notes
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🎶Throw up your hands, stick out your tush, hand on your ass, give it a push. You'll be surprised Trump's making a French Mistake. Voila🎶
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[Sports] NASCAR Commissioner Steve Phelps resigns to spend more time running in circles around his family
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[Main] Don't you hate when you bring in your air dried laundry and find a pair of soiled underwear that isn't yours
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[Main] Wrist slap for golden shower
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| (Very Well Health) |
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[Food] "What happens to your body when you eat a sweet potato with cheese." Only good things, duh
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[Food] The best coffee alternatives. For when you are done researching alternatives to vaccines, public education, and the separation of church and state
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Trump muses about FDR's dancing skills
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[Entertainment] A fart is being hailed as the TV moment of the year. Flatulence trifecta sneaks out into silent but deadly play
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[Politics] Note: All of Jeanine Pirro's dialogue below is taken from statements she has made on the record and accurately reflects the spirit in which they were delivered
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 10:00 AM |
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[Main] Rep. Doug LaMalfa (R-CA) dies at 65, no details on how it happened, but pretty sure it wasn't when he was out for a run
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[Politics] Billionaire Trump megadonor set to make out from Venezuela attack
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Testing the waters
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[Business] AI bubble to pop in 2026
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[Fandom] It's called strawberry milk. Nothing new here, move along. This is not the milk you're looking for
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| (Some Asher Guy) |
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[Main] Photoshop this acrobatic batter
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[Politics] Republicans: "Bombing other countries and kidnapping their leaders with our military isn't war". O'RLY? What is it then? "Alternative diplomacy"?
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[TotalFark] For those who doubt the effectiveness of vaccines, Ashli Babbit got a shot five years ago and hasn't caught as much as a cold since then
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| (Some Guy) |
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[Politics] You know that drug cartel that Maduro was supposed to be running. Yeah, it doesn't exist
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[Main] Parents use ChatGPT to name New Year's baby. Baby I Can't Help You With That is doing fine
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[Food] Claire says she's NOT putting beef tallow on her face yet mayo suddenly conspicuous in its absence
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[Politics] Everyone seems to have forgotten that Trump started an insurrection 5 years ago today. And, literally everyone in government forgot that that one thing disqualified him from ever holding office
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[Politics] At this rate the DOJ will have the Epstein Files released by 2034
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[Entertainment] Oops, I did it again
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[Business] Dell CES 2025: RIP XPS. Dell CES 2026: XPS has risen
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[STEM] Millions of your mothers cells live in you, you live in her basement
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[Politics] Tucker Carlson gives "Globohomo" as reason for U.S invasion of Venezuela, says Globohomo is in the room with him right now
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[Politics] We can add "where he is" to the long list of things █████ doesn't know
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[Food] "Vegetables?" "Roasted?" What are these roasted, uh, 'vegetables' of which you speak?
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[Business] Countries:"Advertisement for online gambling is illegal here." Meta:"Sorry, we can't hear you over the sound of all the money we're making"
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Republican-lite John Fetterman: Why can't the Dems admit Maduro's capture is good?
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[Entertainment] The best sequel each year of the 2000s. Can't wait for the sequel to this list
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[Politics] The War Lorax fires up the big projector and says that Stinky doesn't understand anything
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[Politics] Chinese social media hailing Maduro capture as a blueprint for Taiwan
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[Fandom] [surprised new Pikachu face]
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 09:00 AM |
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[Food] Pro tip: never scrimp on the shrimp
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[Politics] Russia demands release of Maduro and condemns US "crimes" in Venezuela. Volodymyr Zelenskyy unavailable for comment
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[Discussion] Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos says he reads this book 'over and over'-it's 'the most powerful leadership story I've ever read.' But you also know he drops it about 1/2 through every. damn. time
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Trump DOJ claims Cartel de los Soles is as real and dangerous as Antifa
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[Fandom] The X-Men will return in Avengers Doomsday: The Search for More Money
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[Food] Kale? Bah. Wheat germ? pfffft. The overlooked food item you will never, ever, never touch (unless maybe it's fried in bacon grease on a chicken wing pizza)
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[Sports] Not news: Nuggets beat Sixers in Philadelphia. Fark: Using only bench players
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[STEM] Rock-paper-scissors-lizard
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[Politics] Rep. Jim McGovern, the Masshole who really gives a damn
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[Main] Tourists stranded on a remote desert island after believing that they were going on a 3-hour tour
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Rep. Dead LaMalfa
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[Politics] Did you "invest" $50,000 that the US would invade Venezuela and wondering why your bookie, errr Investment Market isn't paying out? Welcome to wonderful world of PolyMarket
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[Main] US military personnel in Bahrain are not allowed to have butt stuff delivered from Canada
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[Food] Subtext: Drew had a house party and we weren't invited
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Remember when brainworm changed the way we pick what goes in the flu shot, and who is supposed to get them? It's reaping time
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[Politics] The legality of Trump's takeover of Venezuela questioned by Fox News? Have we finally hit a day without a Y?
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[STEM] All we are is dust in the solar winds
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[STEM] Northern European house sparrows now more valuable than swallows of any region
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[Sports] Defensive coordinator blamed for Jerry Jones' failure to sign and retain talented defensive players
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| (Some Guy) |
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[Main] Turns out Boomers did everything right, except when it comes to raising their children. And the environment, the economy, geopolitics, and society in general. But other than that
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[STEM] To understand exoplanet habitability, we need a better understanding of stellar flaring. Groovy. Can you dig it?
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[Main] Police officer gets turned into a frog. Children's fairy tale, or AI generated police report? Hint: I could see it if this was from Florida, but Utah
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[STEM] Study from from the MOONRiver clinic confirms jellyfingers worth their weight in gold
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Looks like we have a Code Red Ketchup Emergency scheduled for Thursday, folks. I repeat, a Code Red Ketchup Emergency this Thursday
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[STEM] Butte reservoir gets it up 69 with other wet spots seeing similar action. Nice
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[Business] Three stripes? More like the brand with the two downgrades
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[Fandom] Sony wants to offer AI that will help you "git gud, noob", will later offer AI to laugh at those movies you want to see, and sit with your wife at Broadway shows while you're busy in the coal mines
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[Main] The death of fart jokes? Are we out of touch? No, it's the children who are wrong
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[Politics] Article discusses "where Trump could strike next". And just like that we're talking about a POTUS like he's an out-of-control global serial killer on the loose
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[Entertainment] Larry David, Nic Cage, Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan, D'Arcy Carden, Tatiana Maslany, Kurt Russell and more - '26 TV has some potential. Make sure your sofa's ass groove is restored and ready
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[STEM] K-beauty firm Amorepacific wows CES again. In conjunction with Samsung, AI Beauty Mirror will help you achieve objective standards of vanity with AI-based skin analysis technologies
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[Entertainment] Using Biggie's bars to prop up Trump's agenda wasn't 'savage,' it was a reach that had hip-hop fans yelling 'lawyer up.'
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Peak cringe was officially unlocked when Trump's ICE architects danced to 'Ice, Ice Baby,' proving irony really is lost on people with power
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[STEM] The betrayals and sacrifices contained therein impart an enduring life lesson for the young and impressionable. A special investigative science report series using top-level document sources from the jouralisming editorials at Barstool Atlantic
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 08:00 AM |
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[Main] Pull my (mouse) finger
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[Sports] Is your NFL team's season over? Here are the opponents for each team in 2026
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[Main] How the fake admiral was finally caught: it was the lightsaber that gave him away
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[Discussion] Too late. Subby wins
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[Sports] "He hardly stopped speaking for the entire innings - to himself, to the umpires, to the ball, to his bat, to woman carrying ice creams in the crowd, to the ice creams being carried by the woman in the crowd, to the sun and the moon"
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[Fandom] How we made Prince of Persia - you could die any minute. Gaming used to be so much more hardcore
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[Politics] "What about passports?" "You already have one." "We have one, yes. What about second passport?"
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[Business] AIG CEO to step down and transition to executive chair. Hey Peter Zaffino - wouldn't go out fishing on a boat with Al Neri any time soon
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Cheetolini on Venezuela:"We're going to rebuild their broken-down oil facilities, and this time we're going to keep the oil"
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[STEM] "It's January 2026, and Google is finding innovative new ways to make one of its services worse" Email? Who uses this 'email?'
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"Why is my wife's family so bitter? They shut out a nephew's ex and she is alright by me"
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[Business] Nestle makes the very best™ (contaminated baby formula)
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[Politics] White House now weighing to put Goebbels Jr. in 'elevated role' after his Maduro operations in Venezuela
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[Discussion] "We're having a baby. My in-laws think they are able to take liberties. What do?"
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[STEM] Gingers may indeed have value. Birbs, too
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[Politics] Who's up for a third impeachment?
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[Politics] Hic*seth's He-Man Woman-Haters Club looking to get stinky icky girls out of combat. Such a impotent drunken little rascal
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[Politics] The biggest question about WaPo's "editorial" about Trump's Venezuela attack is, "Did Karoline Leavitt write it for Bezos?"
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And it all starts to fall apart... DOJ admits the Cartel de los Soles doesn't exist
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[STEM] "When attacked, pants quickly initiate defense responses at the site of challenge, but they can also activate immune responses in distant, not yet infected tissues to protect the rest of the pant." What? Oh, sorry - PLANTS. It's plants. Carry on
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The NRA has reached the "filing lawsuits against itself" stage of its own dissolution
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[Politics] Clinton appointed 92-year-old judge handling Maduro case 'doesn't give a sh*t what anyone thinks'
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[Main] Tired of stories about Christian pastors turning out to be pedophiles who groom young men for sex? This one was also a Grammy-award-winning gospel singer
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[Politics] Free market less Free
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[Main] I bet you didn't know that Washington D.C. has an official rock
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| (Public Notice) |
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[Politics] Trump's Venezuela adventure is already a PR disaster
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[Main] Trump may have pardoned the J6 pipe bomber
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[Fandom] TFA is about how modern-day gamers are still managing to keep the old Runescape servers surprisingly active and alive, but the fact that they managed to find two female players to profile with photos probably means an incel invasion is now on the way
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| Tue January 06, 2026, 07:00 AM |
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[Entertainment] Gen Z has officially produced its "first great American band" and, no, you're not going to like it
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[Sports] Russell Wilson to enter the UFL draft
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[Entertainment] Tomorrowland, Europe's highly popular EDM dance festival, announces its first-ever Asian edition will happen this December. Just keep those sparklers away from the ceiling, guys
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[Politics] It's actually starting to look like the only thing Stinky will actually accomplish through his illegal invasion of Panama and kidnapping of Maduro is to vastly increase the likelihood of an even more brutal military dictatorship there -- or civil war
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[Main] It's Day 1 of CES 2026, so hurry up and let everyone know what new tech toys you absolutely won't be able to live without this year despite not actually being able to afford any of them
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[STEM] Rat Farts
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Happy "Republicans are Domestic Terrorists and Trump is Their Leader" Day to all all celebrate
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[Politics] Marco Rubio had a full MAGA lobotomy
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[Politics] Enjoy the homeless shelter you voted for
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[Entertainment] Kristen Stewart wants to direct a Twilight remake, stating "It would be... LINE"
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[Politics] So what're local elites in Greenland thinking about American interests? The view from a Dane
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[Politics] Never forget the domestic terrorism from January 6, 2021
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[Main] The UK crippled by major snowstorm. Nearly six inches. That's what she said
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♪♫♪ Everybody run The Florida Man's got a gun ♪♫♪
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[Politics] Trump tells Joe Scarborough "I'm keeping the oil"
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[Politics] Trump eyes next war
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[Politics] Jon Stewart wonders if Trump will go after Warner Bros. and Netflix next since he's directly interfering in sovereign countries
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[STEM] New bug zapper revealed at CES. But developer says that taint true
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[Entertainment] Mickey Rourke clarifies he didn't launch GoFundMe, his worried manager did. Fark, during his rent strike: "Covid and the writer's strike killed my money"
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