I just wanted to express how lucky I am to have people to fall back on in times of sheer desperation. I've been bailed out a few times now that it kinda became one of the themes that come up in this grad school experience. One to add to my "when I was in grad school.." stories.
The other day, I had the worst incapacitating feeling of overwhelmth (for the lack of a valid word). Everything just piled up (speaking of pile up, see unrelated story below) to the point where there's just no way to finish even if I spent every single second working on stuff- which I did, in spite of the feeling that there's no point in trying because it just wasn't possible. At the same time that I was trying to get things done, of course I was also thinking about the many repercussions if I don't finish and played out horrific scenes in my head while also trying to calculate how many minutes I have left to spend on each "to do" item and repeatedly asking myself, why can't I BS? why why why... So then at the eleventh hour (before we left to get to school/work) I don't know how exactly it came up but basically, the thought was paying someone a hundred bucks to help me out of the situation. One particular person came to mind for some reason. The minute the fellow grad student saw me, she was like "Oh no, you're sick.." She knew I needed her to cover for me. I said I wasn't sick but just told her simply, I can't do it (my teaching shift). Without second thoughts or questions, she said she'll cover for me. I was like... WOW, I could not believe my luck. So basically, I made it through the day. I'd like to think it's because someone understood even without an explanation (that or I looked extra pathetic and pitiful than usual). This reminded me of another instance that someone else bailed me out, about the same time last term. It was a thursday and I was scheduled to do a journal club presentation the next wednesday. Same deal, there was just too much going on. I asked my fellow grad student/lab mate if he could do next week instead of me, not expecting that he would actually do it. And he just said, "Sure." Reminds me btw that I still owe him. There's also my roommates who are always ready to listen to me practice my presentations even when they have a thousand other things better to do.
So, thanks friends.
Anyway
The other "pile up" story that I got yelled at for was basically my advisors leaving their home and their dog to my care when they were gone last week -- they came back last Monday and found three piles of poop and a puddle of pee in an area of their living room. How this incidence will impact my time here remains to be determined.
