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John Mayer
2,989 posts
user avatar
John Mayer
@JohnMayer
LIFE with John Mayer on @SiriusXM - Channel 4 @lifewithjm
johnmayer.com
Joined July 2011
537
Following
1.2M
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  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Oct 19, 2017
    If you’re pretty, you’re pretty; but the only way to be beautiful is to be loving. Otherwise, it’s just “congratulations about your face.”
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Nov 29, 2017
    Idea: somebody should tell Trump they want to make a 3-D scan of his head for a statue but really it’s an MRI.
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Oct 4, 2017
    They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another.
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Oct 26, 2017
    Shout out to people who text you and apparently throw their phone into a river as soon as they hit send?
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    May 24, 2018
    I needed to make a video for New Light but nobody could agree on a budget. (MUSIC INDUSTRY amirite?) So I went to a place downtown and made this with a company that usually does birthday and Bar Mitzvah videos. Link: smarturl.it/NewLightVideo
    Image
    00:00
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Dec 3, 2017
    I just sneezed really quietly and someone said “bless you” really quietly because they weren’t sure if I sneezed, and I said “thank you” really quietly because I wasn’t sure if they said “bless you.”
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Jul 14, 2017
    Hi girls I'm John, single, I wear a patch for back pain and have a daily phone alarm set to remind me to take antacid. Real bad boy type.
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Oct 2, 2017
    I loved Tom Petty and I covered his songs because I wanted know what it felt like to fly. “you belong somewhere you feel free.” 💔
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Aug 21, 2017
    How 2 tweet safely 1. Say ur tweet out loud 2. Pretend ur someone who hates u 3. Attack ur tweet from all angles 4. Wait 10 days
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    May 23, 2017
    The parents. Their children. The dead. The injured. The artist. Her band and other performers. The crew. Venue staff. All to be thought of.
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Sep 8, 2017
    Replying to @NICKIMINAJ
    Please hold, losing my shit. This isn't my reply yet.
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Sep 8, 2017
    I spend an inordinate amount of time per day wondering if Nicki Minaj would like me or not.
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Jul 13, 2017
    Wait... so basically Post Malone is fucking great? I wish I'd known this sooner. It's fine.
  • user avatar
    John Mayer
    @JohnMayer
    Jul 11, 2017
    Hey, you! Yes, you. I want to tell you something, and you have to believe me. You are loved. Can't always feel it, but you are. Trust me.

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