-
Mass Grave Not Even That Big
-
Handful Of Sour Patch Kids Grabbed For Trip To Mailbox
-
Bacon Added
-
New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There
-
Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked
-
Grandma Just Called To Talk About 1956
-
Police Lose Planted Evidence
-
Silent Protest Sparks Silent Debate
-
Old Thing Really Heavy
-
Dept. Of Tautology Rereleases Report For Second Time
-
Sixth Beer Steps In To Speak For Area Man
-
Study: Majority Of Nation’s Sweat Now Produced From Eating Spicy Wings
-
Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine
-
Chess Onlooker Sees A Move You Can Do
-
Amazing Psychic Bends Truth With Mind
-
Pretty Girl Hugged With Both Arms
-
Pretty Girl Hugged With Both Arms
-
‘Washington Post’ Publishes Editorial Defending FBI Raid On Its Reporter
WASHINGTON—Saying that despite recent events, it would do everything in its power to continue obscuring the truth, The Washington Post published…
Recent Videos
The Onion: Sending Emails For Over A Hundred Years.
Get All The Latest Headlines By Email, Once A Day.
Politics
-
Political Profile: Gregory Bovino
Gregory Bovino is “commander at large” of the U.S. Border Patrol’s mass deportation efforts. The Onion takes a look at…
Local
-
Foreskin Scrapbooked
MILL VALLEY, CA—Having proudly removed the piece of shriveled penile flesh from its bag and laid it next to her…
Sports
Entertainment
Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault
Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.
In Other News
