melanie kat

i like a slow burn (me when i’m bad at arson)

i do genuinely like the new wolverine game, but i'm just not used to taylor sheridan playing wolverine

my opinion of the matrix movies is similar to lgbt. i identify with the first and fourth.

my wife and i are officially a family. that’s right, we ate at olive garden together.

i have got to make some big life changes. two people in one week told me they were "too offline" to understand what i was talking about.

i've never cashed a paycheck. i just live off all my coke rewards points.

house of leaves book review: this is not a healthy book. books only do this when they’re stressed.

camp miasma plays among us: "little death vented!"

weird that no one was saying they needed to rewatch The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas yesterday.

when steve jobs invented the phrase “great artists steal,” i believe he was talking about good ideas, not making hearing aid stigmatizing pervert glasses

nothing says "i don't agree with his politics" like copying his business strategy of firing all your team members for not being onboard with your bad decisions

pokemon bank is a consumer electronic service, not a bank. banking services provided by bill's pc llc.

i’d give you five bags of popcorn and that is why you are tonight’s popcorn classic

the worst part of posting jokes online is the replies. they’re always saying “stop” and “you’re not funny, you’re just annoying”

wives of rockstar? more like wives of indie game devs amirite