©¿©¬ Ramxoid — LiveJournal

12:00 am

08:42 am

Just go...

Powdered tears in a bottle of ice,
corked by frozen words of advice
Freeze dried in time,
with prose and rhyme
they can't flow twice,
in one lifetime

They're stored here,
in my heart's mind
In the bitter cold,
of love's rewind.

I say stay,
I say go

our sun has set,
the tears are snow

Current Mood: melancholy

11:44 am

My path is blocked...
I can see my destination, just beyond the visual horizon. I can taste it's essence in my every breath! My knees grow weak and begin to shake with anticipation. My mind drools images of my journey's end. It's right there! Just out of my reach. I can feel it beckoning me. The air in my lungs burns with the desire to cry out. To Scream to the world of my passions. Yet there is a wall. An unseen barrier to my passing. Some "thing" stands in my way. Every detour that I attempt leads me back to this same place. Slamming my head against this barricade. - I am still in love. I am filled with the love of a million lifetimes. Overwhelmed by the memories of the throws of passion. My heart implodes at the thought of another, then explodes with the memory of that which is lost. - I am still in love. In love with love. I cannot love, for I am still in love. Love is my barricade, to love

11:36 am

More bricks in the wall...

Here I sit in this tiny little boat of my own design,
bobbing up and down like a piece of cork floating in bottle of cheap wine.
A fragment of something that once mattered.
Once served some kind of grand purpose...
then pierced and drilled though from top to bottom
suddenly pulled apart, crumbling into pieces,
with one mighty yank of life's drunken hand...
*pop* .... ~wissssh~ ... ^splash^

Lost at sea...
surrounded by all the pretty little fishes
waves splashing upon my face,
as I frantically bail...

Row, row, row my boat...
...spratically as I scream...

I cast my line upon the sea,
...how happy life's to me...

- I must be using the wrong bait?

It's bad enough not to get even one bite.
But all of the little fish eyeballs, peering up at me....
it's kind of unnerving! In a twilight-zone-ish sort of way.

08:03 pm

[_____]




You ask "How do I know if I am in Love?"


Love is a path that you follow, not a destination that you seek.

To be in love is to be blinded. To be deafened. To be dumb.
To be in love is to see the world around you as a gift.
not to yourself, but to the one you love.

Everything you see, every place you go, everything to do...
...your only thought is to offer it to the one you love.

You wake each morning reaching for him or her...
...before you open your eyes.

You can't fall asleep without the touch of one you love.

This person is your world. Your reason for breathing.
No one else can even catch your eye.
No one else can hold your attention.
you are in love
you are in love WITH love

- that is love

everything else is either "like" or "lust"

You may say "don't tell you that I'll know it when it happens..."
but the simple fact is...

You'll know.

The problem is that most people have not yet "known" love, and thus cannot answer your question. And of the few who have lived it, many have lost it, because it was not mutual.

- it's a path you take

in your heart, you know the way, and you know the reasons.

And if you are lucky, the journey will last your entire life!

that, is love.

12:59 pm

[-----]
I HATE YOU!

Love, Hate...

mirror images
two dimentional reflections
opposites

Yet so exactly alike

To say I hate you is to say I love you
I love you enough to hate you!
For if I did not, I could not.

To say I love, is to say I hate!
I love you enough to hate the idea of losing you
I love you enough to hate the idea of you with another
I love you enough to hate not being with you
I love you enough to hate myself
...for not being good enough for you
I love you enough to hate everyone else
...for not being good enough for me

Without love there can be no hate
Without hate, there is no love

Love, hate

mirror images

I would like to meet you in the middle
between the emotion and it's reflection
neither one nor the other

That place,
in between,
is the only true 3-D image
of how we feel

LOVE YOU - (there) - HATE YOU

I'll meet you "there" halfway

Inside that envelope where nothing matters
where there is no "I said.." / "You said.."
no "then you..." / "then I..."
no "I felt..." / "you felt..."

There is just right now, I FEEL
right now, YOU FEEL
right now, I AM
right now, WE ARE

I will meet you there
in that place where there is only

"us, now"

timeless

Current Mood: lonely

12:00 pm

Disclaimer

This is my diary. Thus most entires are visible only to people that I allow to access them. There are multiple access levels ranging from public, (like this one) up to only most trusted friends. If you don't see any entries, then ask to be added to my friends groups and I will set you up accordingly. Please note that what I write here are my feelings and not my intentions. There are no motives to conceal and no hidden agendas. There are no filters to protect anyone, beyond the security access groups, and I do not choose to modify the entries once they are posted, except to add to them. Some of my words are harsh. Sometimes brutal. And sometimes pure bullshit. But they do reflect how I felt on the day and at the time that I posted them. If you don't have the stomach to take what you read or you think so little of me that you cannot get past the words that I write in anger, then please DO NOT read my diary! It is not intended to be used as a tool for manipulation, nor is it intended to become a forum for retaliation. It is only a place for me to vent, and refer back to in the event that I cannot recall the sequence of falling dominos at some time in the future. This is only a small peek into my heart's past, and not a roadmap to my soul. Readers beware!