one week & one day

i rounded the corner of the temple
and saw his back turned to me.
my heart was beating like crazy.
i wanted to just pick of my dress and run,
and say LOOK!
look at me!
here's the one secret i've kept from you in 11 months and two weeks!
LOOK at this dress i have on!
the lace, the fringe, this satin sash,
LOOK at this dress!!
do you know what this means?
MARRIAGE.
our marriage! in one week and one day!
this dress means marriage!


but i didn't run, i walked up from behind,
and tapped him on the shoulder.
he turned around,
and didn't look at the dress,
but looked straight at my face,
and grinned like a crazy person,
took my hands
and said "awww yeah!!"


and then i knew that the dress doesn't mean marriage
as gorgeous as it is,
it's not the fringe or the lace or the sash,
its the look on his face,
and the fireworks going off in my chest,
and the big gorgeous temple behind us
it's those things that mean marriage.

one week and one day.
i couldn't be more excited to become his wife.

xoxo Abbs

Gazing From Space.

Have you ever had an experience that whips your perspective into shape?

A moment when you realize that the little things really really don't matter.

Like cake stands and center pieces, colors of picture frames and exact kinds of fruit to be served.

A few weeks ago, I participated in my last performance with the UVU Symphony orchestra. We were asked to play at Graduation Commencement. I was dreading the performance, knowing that we'd play for no more than 10 minutes and then be asked to sit through 2 hours of boring speeches. I went in with a bad attitude..but walked out like I owned the world. The commencement speaker was a woman named Anousheh Ansari. She was an astronaut, and the first woman of Iranian descent to go into space.

She didn't speak the best English, and you could tell she was pretty nervous, but the words that she said were incredibly powerful.  She talked about her experience in space, looking down out of the space craft down to earth. She explained the emotions that she felt as she gazed down at our planet. She spoke about the lack of lines and divisions between states, countries, and ultimately, people. She comes from a place where hate is strong and lines, visible or not, are drawn everywhere. As she looked down from space, she felt a wave of emotion and gratitude as she realized that how little some things matter, those things often being what we pay most attention to.

I had my own "gazing from space" moment this last weekend. One that took me away and allowed me to see a bigger picture.

I had met Steven on Friday afternoon in Salt Lake where we picked up our engagement photos for our announcement and attended a concert for my little sister, Loline. We met with Loline and Adam and Natalie at Cafe Rio after for a yummy dinner of chicken salads and pork burritos. We hung out and laughed and enjoyed our Friday night and million calories. 

We hopped in the car to head back to Utah County, when Steven got a call from his mom. I knew as soon as he said hello that something wasn't right. The phone call was short and we were both in tears by the end as Janine told us that Ricki, Steven's 14 year old sister, had been at home with Nathan, Steven's oldest brother, when she had two series of seizures, and she was unresponsive, being rushed to the hospital.  We drove as safely and quickly as we could up to Logan Regional Medical Center, where we saw Ricki for five minutes before she got in a helicopter. She had a CT scan that revealed several masses in her brain and one in her chest. They did not have the equipment or the staff to suffice up in Logan, and they flew her down to Primary Children's. Steven and I were in Logan for five minutes with Ricki, telling her how much we loved her and giving her hugs and kisses, before we hopped right back in the car back down to Primary Children's to meet her when she got there. This began a roller coaster weekend for our sweet little sister. We were up at Primary's until 4:30 in the morning, where Ricki had to do test after test, and given anti-seizure medications to calm her system down. She was admitted into the ICU around 4:00 am and was scheduled for an MRI and additional tests the following day.

Ricki has been diagnosed with a genetic disease called Neurofibromatosis-Type II. NF2 is a disorder characterized by formation of neurofibromas (tumors involving nerve tissue) in the skin, subcutaneous tissue, cranial nerves, and spinal root nerves. The tumors that form from this disease are called neuroma, schwannoma, gliomas, and meningiomas. From the MRI, they found several tumors in her brain, including one the size of a golf ball pushing on the frontal lobe which in turn was causing the seizures. The also has two schwannoma near her ears, one large one in her chest near her left collarbone, and numerous up and down her spine, in and around her spinal cavity. She was in the hospital from Friday night until Monday morning when they released her for two days before she went back this morning for open brain surgery to remove the tumor pushing on her frontal lobe.

As we've sat with Ricki in her hospital room in the Neuro Trauma Unit at Primary Children's Medical Center, I have come to realize over and over how little the small things matter. As I looked at that sweet 14 year old red head, in her hospital gown, snuggled up with her stuffed animal, Moe, with a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye, I have, in a way, felt like I'm up in space, gazing down at earth and at my life, and watching lines disappear and the miniscule things vanish from importance. It no longer a matter of what my cake stand will look like at the wedding, it's if Ricki will be at the wedding. It's not the scary fact that Steven and I may be moving hundreds miles away from our families, but the fact that he and I will be together. It's not the sadness that we felt as Grandpa Jensen left this earth on Thursday, it's that he's surrounded by his parents, siblings, and children that have passed also.

I've also come to realize that gazing from space is the birds eye view that our Heavenly Father ALWAYS has. I've been blessed to have small glimpses of the big picture these last few days, but that is always His view. His perspective is always the big picture and his hand is always in everything. Trials may come and things may get scary. The unexpected is going to happen. Fourteen year old's may have to change their life plan and have surgery after surgery after surgery.  But in turn, families come together, prayers are said, people fast, and miracles happen.

I challenge you to take a step back and try to look at life by gazing down from space.

Eliminate the little things, don't let them take priority. 

Let people help you, and don't ever hesitate to help others. 

This life is way too short and way too precious to be taken for granted.

Forgive and forget, don't be offended easily

Love the people that are closest to you. They will always love you, don't make it hard to love you.
 

Give your siblings a hug and tell them you love them.

Let your parents how know how much they mean to you and how grateful you are for them.

Give a dollar to someone on a street corner.

Strive to have the light of Christ in your eyes, and never be ashamed to let it shine.

Give much, and expect less.

Love and love and love. Never stop loving.

And most of all, get on your knees every single day, and thank your Maker for the life he has given you. Thank him for the challenges and the strength that he gives you to get through each one. Sing praises to him and never forget that it is through Him that you can find true happiness.

xoxoAbigail  

If you would like to know more about Ricki's story and her battle with Neurofibromatosis-Type II, visit her blog at rickinicolejensen.blogspot.com

According To My iPhone It Happened.

Life has been so busy and so great lately! So many huge changes are happening and SO much is still coming up! Steven and I are at thee single most exciting time of our whole lives. Here's what my iPhone has to say about it all!

 

We went skiing/boarding one whole time this season! 

Night skiing up at Sundance on ice. It was way fun. 

And my skis now need a mean wax

Steven's sister Angie went into the MTC in February and we miss her 

like crazy! She's having the best time in California and making all 

the elders swoon. We love our Sister Jensen!

I had my first Valentines Day with this chipmunk! Don't be fooled, he just has 4

chocolate covered cinnamon bears stuffed in those cheeks. We celebrated at

Texas Roadhouse and ate way too many rolls, and Steven's gift to me included,

among tons of other treasures, a toothbrush and a giant picture of himself. Pure gold.

 

This was taken during Family Home Evening. Sorry mom.

Easter came and went and we became professional badmitten players. 

He's so excited to teach me how to play real big girl tennis this summer...

He has no idea what he's getting himself into.

THIS GUY GOT HIRED ON AS A FULL TIME SEMINARY TEACHER!!

Welcome to the most stressful/exciting day of our lives!
We waited ALL day long and finally got the call at 7:30. I bawled.

Also, we're probably moving to Arizona. And that's real.

We took engagement photos during finals week. Bad idea. I look tired in every single one, 

and Steven doesn't like his hair. So we're re-doing them. But they sure were fun! 

Especially when we found out how ridiculous we look in our Abbey Road attempts.

Have I mentioned how dang excited I am to get another nephew?? And how

CUTE is this little guy. Love my Mr. Teddy. USU had finals after me so I got to play

all afternoon with this chunk of love while every one else studied...suckers.

 I get to marry a college graduate!! Steven did it! He graduated with 

honors fromUtah State University and I am SO PROUD. 

Plus. Look at how handsome he is..evenin that funny cap and gown.

 

And. We're getting married in 38 days. And that's really all that matters in my life.

Cheers!!

xoxoAbbs

295 Days Ago.

The "Steven and Abby Story" starts approximately 

295 days ago on June 17, 2012.

June 17th was the day I had been looking forward to since I received my "you're hired" email from EFY the Valentines Day before. I was initially hired for 5 weeks working with the "Salt Lake Team" in Salt Lake City and Cedar City, and one week at BYU. Whenever anyone asked about my summer plans, I could not have been more excited to tell them about my job as an EFY counselor. My aunt Mel, who was a counselor herself, kept teasing me and saying I was going to marry another counselor. I thought "No way. EFY counselors are way too weird." Little did I know what that summer would throw my way.

June 17th was the day that began my whole EFY journey. I drove up to the University of Utah, just scared out of my wits. I was so nervous. What if the girls didn't like me? What if I would never ever be able to bear my testimony without bawling incoherently?  What if I slept in? The questions and doubts were endless! I'd been to EFY myself twice as a youth and absolutely adored my counselors. They were thee coolest people alive and I swore I was going to grow up to be just like them..and there I was, years later, one of them.

I walked into the Institute building and found the room in which the training for new counselors would be held. Anna, one of the coordinators stood up and introduced herself and began the training. She handed out our counselor handbooks, our lovely polo's, and name tags. She started going over protocols and such, but then received a phone call that she needed to take. She excused herself and said she was going to grab her "co-coordinator" to take over. No more than a minute later, a handsome guy in a perfectly tailored suit with a paper clip on his tie walked in and introduced himself as "Steve." My initial thought was "dang that guy is handsome" but that was where my thought began and ended before the nerves once again took over.

"Steve" learned my name before the end of the night 

and yelled it frequently that first week,
flirted like mad with me on Monday,
started shooting rubber bands at me on Wednesday (mature, I know),
asked me on our first walk on Thursday,
asked me on a date that same night (I said no..sorry babe..),
and held my hand the following Monday.
We went on our first date the following weekend
and had our first kiss on my number one favorite holiday, the 4th of July.

First picture ever taken together. This happened before we ever had a conversation.

I'll spare you the details, but to make a long story short, I fell in love every day that summer without even knowing it. We spent every night walking around the U and SUU's campuses, sharing our life stories and laughing our heads off. We raced rubber ducks in gutters whenever it rained, and bought a plastic bowling set and bowled in parking lots. I averaged a total of 4 hours of sleep a night and looked and felt like death by the end of every week. By week two we were making plans for Christmas break (6 months away..) and by the end of the summer, I was completely sunk.

The Sun and Moon Cafe, a favorite find on one of our drives, and Rubber Duck Racing in Cedar!

My sweet Grandpa Benson passed away the Sunday night before our last week in Cedar.  That was the first time Steven had ever seen me cry, and boy did I cry. I was an emotional wreck all week. I don't know what I would have done without him. He snuck me out of classes when he could tell I needed a hug, took me out to lunch so that I didn't have to eat my millionth cafeteria meal, gave me dance duty in the hall, and got me a dozen roses. To top it off, he woke up with me at 4:00 in the morning on Saturday to drive up north with me for my Grandpa's funeral in Salt Lake - which also meant meeting my ENTIRE family in one day. He blew me away that week and I knew he was something that was not going to be easy to give up.

A week later, we said our first "I Love You's" (meaning I said it first...he followed with a "I don't know what to say....", I then wanted to die, and then he finally said it) and two weeks after that, we started our long distance relationship!

Did I mention how much Steven LOVES picture time?

Logan to Provo, Provo to Logan, over and over and over. It's definitely been a long and expensive 8 months, but so worth every minute and every single penny. By the second week of September, we had started ring shopping and had scheduled the Salt Lake Temple for our June wedding.

And by second week of September, I mean less than 3 months after we met..

The ring shopping process was a little less than brutal (who knew I could be so picky?!) but finally on November 24th, the love of my life got on a knee (with theee perfect ring) and asked me to marry him. I cried, said yes, and kissed that handsome red headed boy a million times.

Hi, welcome to the happiest moment of my entire existence.

Four and a half months later, he's still in Logan and I've moved home to my parents house in Pleasant Grove and we are anxiously awaiting our wedding day on Friday June 14! The dress and suit are purchased, bridesmaid dresses have been made, the cake has been tasted and plans are all in place. There are still people getting engaged right now with wedding dates before ours and I'm just oozing with jealousy (unless they're complaining about how long they have to wait, then the jealousy turns into anger), but we are finally on the down hill! In two and a half months, that handsome boy who led my first day of EFY training will finally be mine for eternity.

So in love with this guy!

I couldn't tell you the exact moment that I feel in love with Steven, but I can tell you that I haven't stopped falling for one single moment since. He literally is my better half, my missing puzzle piece. He is the man that I have dreamed of my entire life and the one I CANNOT wait to marry.

June 14th. PLEASE come faster.

xoxo ALMOST Mrs. Jensen

Dear Steven.

Dear Steven: Thank you for making the drive to see me every other weekend and for obsessing in counting down with me throughout each week. I can't wait for Thursday nights when we don't have to say "tomorrow!" it will simply be today and here and now and every day.

Dear Steven: Thank you for always giving me five extra minutes when I ask you to wake me up from a nap and for doing so with a kiss on the forehead and stroke of my hair.

Dear Steven: Thank you for dancing for me over Skype when I'm stressed and studying and missing you. The giggle that turns into a full on laugh as I watch you shake your hips is the perfect remedy for a stressful night.

Dear Steven: Remember when the sun was our friend? I can't wait for endless summers together, of bike riding and kisses under a star lit sky and the 4th day of July. I'm so excited for your hair to lighten up a bit and turn the red that it was when I met you and eat otter pops on our front porch in bare feet.

Dear Steven: Isn't the word our exciting? Remember how we bought those beautiful dishes on Saturday, and how we bought 6 of each so that when we have company over to our house, we'll have enough for not just two, but four more friends.

Dear Steven: You're so incredibly handsome. It's ridiculous how many times I find myself looking at my phone screen, my laptop desktop, and pictures on my walls just give myself butterflies at the sight of your face.

Dear Steven: Thank you for being so good. When people ask me what initially drew me to you, without hesitation I say your goodness. It's a good-to-the-core sort of good and I'm thrilled that I get to be surrounded by your goodness for the rest of eternity.

Dear Steven: I can't believe you're mine. Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting to wake up from a dream because no way could this be real. I am the luckiest girl alive and can't wait to be your Mrs.

I love you to the moon and back, Steven Anthony.

Love, Abbs.