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It's been a while...

As I celebrate this Christmas with family and friends I realize how blessed I truly am. Father God thank you for showing me love and for allowing me to love. I am but a work in progress. Thank you for allowing me to learn more about life and myself everyday.

Why

Why is it you let certain things bother you? Learn how to deal. Learn to cope. Be true to yourself.

Greet the In-Laws

So my in-laws are here from Puerto Rico. They're staying with us for 11 days. Needless to say I was nervous as heck. Not only are they s visiting their gay son and his partner. Not only are they staying in our house with us. Not only are they meeting our 10-year old son for the first time. But Tonio's dad is a minister and his mother, the first lady of the church. Oh no pressure-but lately -- and it could be just my imagination -- but I smell fire and brimstone very early in the morning. Ha! Just kidding. They've been great. They greet us every morning. Mom cooks us delicious meals for dinner in the evening. We joke and laugh around the table. Junior feels comfortable around them and kisses them hello, good night and goodbye (all without prompting from me mind you). And Tonio is able to connect and spend time with them. It's quite the modern family Rockwell portrait. LOL

I'm sure my in-laws still aren't 100% comfortable but they have both been very supportive of us. It shows in their actions, they're conversations and the overall vibe. I love them. They're terrific. Just goes to show you if you're comfortable in your own skin others have no choice but to get on board or bail. Thanks ma and pa C, for bringing the man i love into this world.

Neether, Neither, Eether, Either, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

This song is one of my favorites by George and Ira Gershwin, made famous by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. As the song suggests there are two sides to every story. It starts off like this:

Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that,
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done:




Then Ella and Louis go on to pronounce the same word, just slightly different
potatoe, potahtoe
tomatoe, tomahtoe
etc.

Ever have a word that when pronounced incorrectly makes your skin crawl? Watching TV last night, I overheard someone announce a date. He said "Febuary". I had to rewind to make sure I heard right..."Febuary" instead of "February"? Then I thought about it, to say it correctly (February) does seem little awkward; a tongue twister. So I figure, what the heck-it could be worse. I'll reserve my skin-crawling for other words that really irk me: "ambalamps" instead of "ambulance" or "pacific" instead of "specific"! Oh yea, I've heard people actually mispronounce these words. Needless to say I had to walk away! Febuary? Hmmm, not bad after all.

The Cage

Can a lion and a bull share the same cage without killing each other?

As you know Tonio and I moved in together and it’s been little over a month now. We’re in the “adjustment” phase. We’ve had our bumps here and there but we’re jellin’. We (Junior included) are really settling in to this comfortable family life and things are a lot easier. I’ve noticed a change in Junior. At one time he was jealous of Tonio and now he realizes that he has a place in both our lives and he knows we both love him very much. He’s more relaxed around us and settling in. Tonio has been great also. As someone who hasn’t had a lot of experience with children, he’s assumed the role of 'parent' and stepped up to the plate and is doing a fantastic job. I notice he’s careful not to fall into the ‘buddy’ role. All too often that role can get overshadowed with misinterpretations and disaster is sure to follow. In the parent role, Tonio is able to be seen by Junior as someone in the authoritative light, but knows he means what he says and will be there for him unconditionally.

We're coming along very well. Before everyone was going their own way (myself included) we’re now moving in the same direction. We have a common goal and we’re actually learning a lot about ourselves as well. We’re understanding, respectful and mindful of everyone else. As with every family, there will be hiccups along the way, but I feel we’re on the right track to really being a great family. Communication, respect, trust, humor (a lot of it) are all thrown into the blend. Heck if it works this well, we’ll even bottle and sell it!

So I ask the question again – Can a lion and a bull share the same cage without killing each other? Absolutely. In this cage, everyone is treating as a king.

Guns: No Toy

I may be the only one who thinks like this, but regarding the 4th grader who brought a “gun” to school; I do agree that it definitely went too far. I do believe the principal had every right to tell the child it wasn’t a good idea to bring it to school and take it away from him. Suspend from school? Probably not. I say this because, where do we draw the line? If the gun was a little bigger but smaller than an actual gun, would that have been ok? So some cop could mistake the gun for real and call out to the child to drop it and when the child turns around (of course pointing the gun at the cop) the cop retaliates and fires a round, killing the child instantly only to hide behind him saying “It looked real.” What would the mother say then? Then she’d ask why the principal didn’t ban ALL guns. In this day and age of technology being what it is, guns can and do come in all shapes, sizes and materials. It’s not inconceivable for a gun to be smaller than what we know as average. As small as the toy Lego gun? No…well not yet anyway. If you want your child to play with guns, that’s on you, but don’t let he or she bring it to school. Someone has to take a stand and say “no guns period.” Yes I do think this particular situation was blown out of proportion and the media of course didn’t help but hey, maybe it’s just me.

Journey

I've been on a long journey. Starting perhaps even before I knew there was one. As I am about to embark on the next tier of my life. I do so full of nerves. Scared. But not a scared that I don't want to. A scared that you get right before something wonderful happens. The butterflies you get in the pit of your stomach that lets you know you're alive. It's definitely a good thing.

I've learned that you can't stunt your growth by allowing guilt to keep you from having it all. You shouldn't punish yourself for living your best life when those around you didn't have the opportunity or drive to live theirs. Everyone has a choice: they had theirs; you have yours. Choose wisely. Live better, fuller, richer. Don't let history repeat itself. You be the trailblazer.

Nothing Can Stop Me If You're My Goal