agrathea

We all joke about riches we're meant to have... Well, my great-great grandma Chrysler contractually refused an inheritance, for her as well as her progeny. In a different universe, I have relatives who are less inclined to stand up for their beliefs, and a shiny silver spoon in my mouth! I just found out the Chrysler family harkens from Germany, too. So I can say with more certainty that I'm mostly of German descent.

My grandmother says she visited the town where her great grandmother lived and saw the contract for herself. I need to get her to tell me the story again, because she told it to me quite awhile ago and the details are sketchy in my mind.

In other news... If you don't have my maniphisto blog on your friend list, I have a new post up!

You can go through LJ or straight to the entry here: http://bit.ly/bRDBVl

Hiya my Livejournal friends! I have created an account on livejournal for Maniphisto where I will include my blog entries from my main site. I hope you will follow me there! Especially if your main weapon of choice *is* Livejournal. I'll be posting on there so much more than my primary account, so that's the best way to see what I'm up to!

http://maniphisto.livejournal.com/

I already have a new entry up there about synchronicity, 24 hour comic challenges, and my newfound connections to other female comic artists and writers. And not everything I post will be about comics. I am going to talk a lot about the process of creation in writing and art, how to follow your bliss, as well as sharing my own art and writing related to Mephisto.

See you there!

Hello Awesome Friends,

I want to share something with you. My new manifesto, and a dream I am making reality.

I’ve been a big cheerleader for the dreams of others. I help people honor their voice and bring it into the world. Now I want to walk the walk.

The project? Creating my long-simmering graphic novel starring a young girl (Kaitlyn) and her demon (Mephisto). I have a vision that will take a lot of work to achieve. But I want to do more than just make a stunning graphic novel with a riveting story. I’m gonna put the whole mad, creative journey on display, too. It begins, humbly, with a blog. Video, images, and journals will tell the tale. My goal is to show the mythic, mysterious, marvelous power of dreams and the messy road to achieving them.

My creative process is wacky and organic. The product will be unique. Life will imitate art and art will imitate life. Along the way a web comic will emerge. A graphic novel or two will wait at the end. The rest is anyone’s guess.

I have more work to do before the blog is ready for the whole world, but I am inviting you to be among the first to join me on this journey. If you sign up for the newsletter, I will send out updates and let you know when I’m ready to go prime time and blast this project out to a bigger audience. Feel free to share your own insane brilliance along the way. Comments on the site and through email always welcome.

I’ve already got a move on. You can find this project, which I am currently calling “The Maniphisto” (short for The Mephisto Manifesto), in the following places. I hope you will add me to your networks and bookmarks, and sign up for my mailing list through my site by clicking the “Subscribe” link at top. This is the best way to keep up with what I am up to and to hear tell of cool offerings and adventures.

Maniphisto on the Web:

maniphistocomic.com
Newsletter Sign-Up: http://www.maniphistocomic.com/subscribe-maniphisto-newsletter

Facebook: Maniphisto
Twitter: Maniphisto
Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/maniphisto
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/maniphisto

Thank you all for your support. And so it begins.

With deepest love and gratitude,

Theresa

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." -- T.S. Eliot

But I will remain silent awhile longer. There are exciting things in the works. A new/old project is finally going to launch. I feel like I am stepping into a new universe.

I'll need all the help I can get. I'm starting something that is too big for me, alone. But dammit, I AM going to do it.

Time to step up to the plate. Wow, talk about jitters. The good kind. 

Stay tuned for insanity.

Wow! My favorite place to stay away from home, MaMere's B&B, has an awesome GroupOn deal today! $65 for a night. With the amazing rooms available and the awesome breakfast, it is totally worth it. Seem too close a distance to go just for one night, when you live in Portland? Oh contraire mon fraire. Even one night is a wonderfully relaxing experience. Sometimes I like to just go for one night to rejuvenate my spirit. 

http://www.groupon.com/deals/mameres-bed-and-breakfast

Grant and I go there regularly to get away from Portland and truly relax. The decor is beautiful, and the breakfast that Kary makes is amazing. In fact, I'll just copy and paste my comment that I posted on the GroupOn itself!

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I can’t recommend MaMere’s enough. Every room is amazing (I have to confess, I go back regularly to get away from the relative hubub of Portland and have managed to sample every room in my regular quest for relaxation… my favorite room is the Louisiana Lair, which is a nice writer’s getaway.) So many comfy beds and wonderful tubs to luxuriate in. The New Orleans flair is also quite charming and adds a lot to the ambience. And breakfast! Wow, Kary makes the most amazing food I’ve ever had. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a B&B with a better breakfast. I love waking up to the smell of coffee and delicious food cooking in the kitchen.

Everything seems to slow down when I get to MaMere’s and relaxation is the order of the day. It’s so easy to find a place to lounge and get lost in a book. And Monmouth is really adorable. I love going walking around Main Street, or stopping by an antique store in Independence on my way out of town. In the evenings I’ve really come to enjoy the new wine bar in downtown Monmouth, just a couple of blocks away from MaMere’s, for a delicious dinner and dessert. That is, if I even feel like leaving my room at all.

They take great care of you at MaMere’s. I couldn’t imagine a friendlier or more beautiful place to stay for a trip or a weekend getaway. You gotta try it for yourself! You’ll go for one night, then fall in love like I did and want to find a way to come back at every opportunity.

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And I wasn't going to post this on the GroupOn comment, but I really do feel like I'm coming home every time I come there. Waking up to the smell of a delicious breakfast is like getting taken care of by the momma I never had. It's so amazingly healing to be there. There really is a wonderful energy about the place that helps you simply forget your worries.

Yesterday we had a really nice day in San Fran. We woke up a little late and headed off to breakfast at Mel's Diner. Food wasn't spectacular, but thirdworld and I had a nice, relaxing couple of hours drinking coffee, chatting, and people watching as we are wont to do. On the way to the restaurant we ran into a couple of Drupal/Portland friends who were heading off to the museum. It was a lovely, sunny day to be out and about. We even noticed that we had a bit of pink in our cheeks when we got back to the room.

After our late breakfast, we went to the SFMOMA. It was extremely inspiring. The first thing we checked in on was the jewelry trunk show, which happened to be on the weekend we are here! I did splurge on a handful of pieces. Since I've been working so hard of late, I thought it was a nice time to pick up some unique things from other artists, and to feel like I was doing my part to support my comrades. The SFMOMA jewelry trunk show page may eventually expire on the SFMOMA site, but many of the jewelry artists can also be found in the SFMOMA museum store, which also sells their jewelry online.

We had a lovely chat with the first artist just inside the door, Molly McGrath, a San Francisco jewelry artist who has an architectural background and now makes wooden jewelry that is designed in CAD software, then laser cut with geometric patterns with organic arrangements. It was fun to hear more about her specific challenges in making her jewelry. I was impressed by how she surmounted the challenges that come with being a successful craftsperson, and was reminded that it was probably not my cup of tea. I was chuffed when she noticed the necklace I was wearing and made comments about it. I bought a lovely pair of earrings from her. I wish she had had some of the other earrings I see on her online store, there are things I would have loved even more.


Another favorite was Mark Poulin, who translated his unique little line-drawing characters into charms. They had cute names like Orbit Boy, Bird Girl, and Little Quadrapus. I had a hard time choosing one, but in the end I decided I liked Mark's take on the unicorn. I think it was the stripey horn that won me over. Mark's Etsy site shows off his jewelry best, and it is very reasonably priced.


Diane Schimmel had a really interesting line coming from her studio called Dos Riberas. Another jewelry artist with an architectural background, she hails from Argentina. The necklace I bought from her was probably the one out of all that I purchased that day that most went out of my usual range of interests in jewelry. I think was primarily taken with the bold colors and use of circles. The necklace I chose really went wonderfully with my hair color, with the pink tying in nicely with my hair and a gorgeous teal blue complementing it (the one that is pictured left is the same style, but not the same color scheme). I can't say for sure, but I'm inclined to think that the "beads" are actually book cloth that has been cut into circles and laminated to be double-sided. It's a simple execution, but the final result is lovely.


The last piece I bought was from Doris Viñas, another artist from Argentina. Her jewelry was primarily made from brightly-colored zippers rolled into circular shapes and arranged in patterns. Already pushing my budget past it's original intended limits, I satisfied myself with a couple of aqua-colored earrings. I couldn't find a picture on-line, but they basically look like the bottom left "flower" on the zipper ring pictured left.


After a nice chat with several artists and a lot of inspiration absorbed for my own work, thirdworld and I finally headed into the museum. I was delighted that we were allowed to take pictures of most of the pieces. We had a wonderful time discussing some potential projects of our own, inspired by what we saw. Something that going to this particular museum reminded us was that we are also still artists, even if we don't perceive our skills to be at a worthy level at times... Some art doesn't require from us what we assume, and we have plenty of achievable ideas. I wish money wasn't a concern, because I know that Grant and I could easily fill every day with art and writing and produce a huge body of work together, if we weren't so caught up in our tech-work lives. I had fantasies of having a gallery of just our work and collaborations with others, as a way to tie together the disparate styles and explorations I would like to embark on. Anyhow, the art journey left us both feeling refreshed and excited.

We ended up spending a lot of time on a goose chase for an open Walgreen pharmacy, which ironically gave us an excuse to see a lot of the area. We gave up for a bit and took the long walk deep into Chinatown, where we ate dinner at Nanking, a Chinese restaurant recommended to us by one of thirdworld 's coworkers. It was very nice, and I did enjoy the communal table seating. My sore feet and exhausted body were begging for a beer. Between that and the yummy food, I proceeded to go into a coma for a bit, but it was sort of blissful after all that exertion.

After dinner we explored the shops in Chinatown, and I splurged one last time on a silk coat with a double collar that appealed to my sensibilities. thirdworld agreed that it looked really nice on me.

We went back on our search for the supposedly only open Walgreen pharmacy, which happened to be on Castro street, a hoppin' gay/lesbian neighborhood. We took the streetcar there and enjoyed watching the scenery outside of the window. The stores on Castro were especially fun to look at (it was late, so everything was closed at that point). We couldn't get thirdworld his prescription, but they were helpful and led us to a solution, which I will explore for thirdworld today while he is in his Lullabot class.

We got back to the hotel, which I forgot to mention is very, very nice. We have an amazing view of the city from our room on the 28th floor. They have a nice little lounge where we had a couple of drinks before heading back up to the room to eat our leftover food from Nanking and then to bed.

The breakfast buffet today was delicious and decadent, and naturally quite expensive. We will probably skip it the rest of the week, but he was in a hurry today, so we indulged in the easy option.

After he went to class, I was a naughty girl and went back to bed for a bit, and am now typing up this blog entry while laying in bed and gazing at the skyscrapers outside of my window. I think maybe I will finally get my ass in gear and go experience some more of the city!

Wow, I've been gone awhile. Grant and I have been mired in the effort to finish up the Meyer Memorial Trust web site, which we were working on closely with his colleagues for the last several months. The last few weeks have been an ordeal requiring nose to the grindstone of epic proportions. We both learned a lot along the way and pulled off some great feats. I am happy to report that after nearly a year of work, the site is now live!


http://www.mmt.org
Now, other work beckons, some people who have been very patiently waiting for my schedule to open back up. Nonetheless, I think I will start to find a bit more time to get back on the writing and art saddle soon.

I'm excited to have accomplished so much and to have completed a project for such a great organization (and great people). However, I am also happy to feel like our lives are back! I still feel a little dizzy from the effort. But it was totally worth it, and I had a great time working with the team.

Grant did much of the Drupal development and I did the theme and design work. We used Tendu as a base theme, but we modified it pretty heavily. All in all, I'm very happy with how it turned out. The UI concepts that Grant and his supervisor had were really fantastic and provided a great starting point for the design. 

The lovely thirdworld gave me a very helpful crit on a revised story last night. Was hoping to do some work on it this morning, but I must soon rush off to a morning meeting and begin what will likely be a very busy day. But no worries... This afternoon is the writing social and I should be able to get it all done while there. I am eager to finally send it out. I've been working on it for awhile.

The reactions I find in myself while going through this process of rediscovering my writing are very interesting, and I tie a lot of my lessons into my woo-woo observations. I think there are different "rungs" of understanding and personal evolution that we all climb. When you are on the same rung as others, you find commonalities that allow for mutual validation, support, and further growth. You can share the joys and sorrows of your experience together and even add more joy to that growth process.

Most of the people in my little universe vibrate very closely with me. This is a unique experience in my life... Often I have found myself vibrating a lot higher than most people around me, and usually felt isolated, whether it was a little or a lot depended on the circle of people I was in. I felt like I was working double-time to come to the aid of others, and generally not appreciated for that effort. I did have a few, rare friends that stayed close to me, and they are still dear to me to this day. Most of those friends are my college friends. I didn't carry many over from high school and below. My last job also brought a myriad of amazing people into my life.

Anyhow, the rung that I am on right now is about the necessity of engaging in collaboration and sharing in order to move forward. Something my husband is very familiar with, and he is my teacher in this area. I cannot go it alone any longer. I cannot allow my vulnerabilities and fears about opening up to keep me cut off from the wealth of support around me. It is time to make it a two way street. But it goes deeper than that... I cannot be fully myself without allowing something of others to enter into my sphere. Others around me are part of me, and by closing off those channels, I close the door to aspects of myself. 

Because I have spent a lot of time in seclusion the last few years, I am more comfortable with this than I would have been in years past. I have had time to meditate upon what is uniquely me, to extract myself from the myriad voices that confused me and led to the loss of my core understanding of myself. Now that I have strengthened that core, it is time to absorb the aspects of me that are nestled in the unique and beautiful qualities of friends and loved ones.

I must overcome my fear of critique and allow others to contribute to my voice. When I do this, my work is so much stronger.

Before I gave Grant my story to review, I had spent a lot of time fine-tuning it. And I knew there would be some things for him to critique, but I assumed there wouldn't be much. And in truth, there wasn't much. But despite the fact that I thought I was fully prepared, even excited, about what changes I might get back in a critique, the same old pangs haunted me when he was done and said he had a few changes and suggestions.

What the hell is that all about? There is nothing insulting, ominous, or upsetting about what he said. I don't really know where this little voice inside of me comes from. It says, "What, you mean I'm not perfect? How is this true?" Come on, really. Really.

At least I know how ridiculous I am.

I will say, the little voice isn't as loud as it used to be. Once I confronted the fact that I wasn't perfect (yet again, and as I am doomed to face for eternity until I get over myself), then I could really resonate with how great his suggestions were. And the part of me with sense doesn't really understand why the part of me that reacts solely on the basis of victim-centric emotions doesn't like getting feedback and free help to make things better. Everyone who is any success gets a lot of feedback to improve their work. I am absolutely sure that one major difference between professionals and amateurs is that professionals know when to accept advice and implement it, for their own good and the good of the project. My design work has been a powerful lesson in that arena. Generally when I am most convinced a client has the wrong of it and I the right -- and I still implement their request because it is their project and I respect that balance -- I usually realize that, given the proper approach and attention, their idea actually does work better. Yes, it is a matter of understanding the core necessities of a project and being able to make judgments from a sound inner core of experience or at least knowing the true voice of something. In writing, it is holding things up to the spirit of the story, and to my own inner voice. Because I know myself better, I tend to know the story better, and I know when something doesn't resonate. I know what not to listen to. Now it's time to give myself lots of opportunity to get other opinions in the mix. Not so much that it actually becomes useless and difficult to navigate. But simply holding back for reasons of self-preservation just won't work anymore.

I want to get better. I want to be published. I want to let go of my old demons and walk confidently forward, so that I may engage some new challenges. The old battles need to come to an end. They have been with me far too long, and I cannot grow, as a writer or a person, until I am ready to open my hand to receive what I am so lovingly offered in terms of support.

I'm not perfect, and maybe someday soon I will start to be alright with that. 

A friend's house was broken into the other day, and I am pretty sure, upon reflection, that a guy who put something in our mailbox this morning was casing our house. I didn't take it out until this evening, but it was one sheet torn out of a Costco brochure. Ahem. 

And I was sitting right by the window with my fancy laptop, in front of our big TV. Yeah, I feel really secure, now. Who knew that letting the sun in on a beautiful Sunday was so hazardous.

I made a police report and will be requesting a patrol tomorrow.

Apparently burglaries have gone up a bunch in our area since the police station closed down and it all picked up shop and moved to NE. I may have to join the neighborhood watch.

If you live in NoPo, please spread the word. Maybe people can be more vigilant about protecting their homes and keep their eyes peeled for strange activity. I recommend if anyone has had any similar situations that they report it to the police. If we get enough reports, they may take it more seriously. They were very nice to me when I called.

In other, less dramatic news...

I've been taking antiobiotics. This has finally begun to help with my chest symptoms. Though today I still felt soreness in my chest. Went to acupuncture, and a couple of hours later the soreness was significantly reduced, long before it was time for my third dose of antibiotics. I love using Eastern medicine in combination with Western medicine. It always amazes me just how much relief I can get from acupuncture from so many types of conditions. I'm sure the antibiotics are getting rid of the infection, but the relief from the muscle soreness after acupuncture is palpable, as well as the reduced muscle pressure in my chest.

Oh yeah, we saw Dr. Parnassus today. I really enjoyed it. I love the beautiful weirdness of Terry Gilliam movies.

I have a lot of old stuff to finish up. When I re-engaged in my writing journey, I had two unfinished stories sitting on my hard drive and one that needed revision. After I finished with the first draft of one unfinished piece, I picked up the one that needed edits. I find myself re-visiting that one nearly every day. Now don't get me wrong... I don't want to overwork it. But I keep finding better ways to say what I want to say, more honest representations of the characters and their conflicts. Today I think I may be truly done. I will be proud to send this one off.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to think I like editing even more than writing. I think I probably feel similarly when I am creating digital art. When you have so much on the page, and it simply becomes a matter of making what's there work optimally.

Last night I started to think about what I would write next. I opened the remaining unfinished novelette and read through it. I had convinced myself that this story was crap and not worth picking back up. But when I read it, I loved it. The beginning was trash, but once it got going, it was actually interesting, to me at least. I found myself laughing at some of my clever moments. So, I guess I know what I will be working on next. I probably have two or three thousand words left on it and then I can get to my new favorite part... revision.

Hey world, I'm back! Watch out.