Fill the lungs with AIR...
FB, such a time waster. I can't shit without looking at the dang app, but seems I've been holding onto that stinking device since I was in my early 30s. 15 year addiction. As opposed to a 25 year addiction.
Can you change your life? Can you change your habits? Can you change the world?
Ice-burgs melting and floating with the tides, turning in the wind. Sailing across sees[seas], reflections of the skies[waters].
Listing[Listening] to the spirits walking the Earth; riding light to and from the Heavens above. Light travel. The step into the next relms is a speck of light away.
Listening to shows[TV] can lead you to believe that which is not really there, but thought of in the minds eye. Can you see the past, the present, the future; the stars, the Heavens, the Hells, that other's walk on this Earth?
I hear the clicking of my fingers and wonder what I will read a few weeks, hours, months from now... later? Lead yourself away from your own thoughts and feelings and let that which is standing at the door walk in, without harm. Flow over the buttons that are strung to your mind and heart.
Things you've done or seen as a child. Things you've done. Have you been proud of those things? Have you repented your sins? Judge NOT LES YE BE JUDGED....
I wonder if anyone out in the UNIVERSE is thinking of me. Have you really been abducted/[obstructed (blocking your own flow)] or are you telling that as a story to stump another[other] MFer[s]?
Accidentally hitting buttons, messing with things, so my story may not be laid out as I want[ed]... as I flow[ed]. Thoughts spreading to the fingers without thought. Can it be automatic, as it may seem?
HOUSE[s]
I bought a house in my dreams the other day... actually a couple of houses. Am I becoming a slumlord in the REM? One nice and new without any issues; and the other with plaster walls falling apart, leaks from dilapidation of the exterior which bled in to the shell. Air being sucked through the old fireplace as if standing in the chest of a beast sucking the air through its lungs. Possibly purchasing sight unseen, impulse buying?
If I could show pictures I would, but they don't have a recording device for dreams just yet. I wonder how I could market this and make it so? How could I capture images from behind the eye lids? HOW do I understand what I am seeing and why does it bother me so?
Second House, second floor landing and hall was like a crawl through tunnel to upstairs bedrooms and bathrooms. The previous owners where still living in the house and we were [Jessie and I] supposed to move in, but I quickly realized we had an issue on our hands. The previous owners were now going to have to be evicted if they couldn't have their full loan paid off. They were upside down in the financing and the house was completely fucked from the FHA type of lifestyle. Modifications to the house, that make it unsaleable. The master bedroom is under construction, and there are these weird medal pipes that are running up the wall that look like furnace ducting, four of them with red hazard stickers with strips. I didn't ask what they were, as I felt stupid for being in this situation. What do the bathrooms look like? NIGHTMARES! I should have paid for a freakin' inspection!
I may be changing the story now since this dream was from yesterday and generally dreams are forgotten fast, if not immediately upon awaking from sleep.
I do recall thinking over and over how I never think things through and how I always screw up my situation by second guessing myself. Sometimes the second isn't the best but the first is what shoulda been? I don't know. All i k[
NO]w is I am listening to the clicking of my fingers and wondering why I can't spell shit half right most the time!?
It's 5:12p on January 27 2019. I wonder where I will be when I grow up and realize that I've been a grown up for most of my life at this point? 45 years in I can't imagine life any differently. I have been loved by good people and I have screwed up good situations because I didn't feel like I deserved to be where I was. Self sabotage. Self loathing, self implosion.
I've experienced a lot of good things and find sometimes that I only dwell on the sad/bad ones.
Life continues, even when you don't feel like you can continue.
The grass still grows, the rain flows into rivers, lakes, oceans.
It snows and that melts.
Birds sing and fly, then they die.
Butterflies morph from their cocoons once from Caterpillar fuzzies in a courtyard at an elementary school in the Meadows of a mountain they call Cheyenne.
Darkness floats around, even in light. Light can be snuffed in a simple smothering. SAGE.
