First negative

I woke up this morning having just dreamed that I took a home pregnancy test. In my dream I was going to take the test alone and surprise Aaron but it was the most complicated home test I've ever seen so I had to ask him for help just to take it. It involved ironing, special gadgets, and being held upside down. It was weird. The result came out on the computer and it was positive! Aaron and I were so excited we were laughing and crying and jumping in the air. We were so happy. So when I woke up naturally I immediately took a test for real and it was much simpler. Just pee on the stick. Unfortunately, though the test was easier to take the results were not as good. Boo. Granted, my period technically isn't due until next Saturday, almost a week from now, but I suspect it will come earlier. I've been having all of my pre-period symptoms - low, mild cramps, acne, tender breasts. I feel like it's coming any day now. I guess there is a possibility that I got a false negative because I took the test too early. So I'll just have to wait and see. Try again on Friday if I haven't started yet.

Just waiting

Now that all the meds have been taken and ovulation has passed all I can do is wait patiently. Honestly I'm not thinking about it every day. Seriously.

Meanwhile, I get up every morning at 6:30 to get ready for work, and that's tough for me. I've never been a morning person. I think that you either are or you aren't and I'm absolutely not. Never have been. I could easily sleep past 9 every morning if I didn't have responsibilities. The funny thing is I'm not a night owl either. I like to go to bed by 10:30 on weeknights if I can manage it. I'll stay up late on weekends with Aaron but that's because he likes to stay up late. And he likes to get up early! We're complete opposites in that way.

I'm reaching here for something to write about. I think I am going to write some poetry. I'm teaching a poetry unit at school and the kids have some amazing talent. I've shared my high school poetry with them and got me thinking, why did I stop? So I've got a topic in mind and now to set pen to paper and see if I've still got the touch.

Staying optimistic

Time to get busy!!

Here we are on day 12 of my cycle. I've really been putting effort into getting pregnant - not a stressful effort, just giving it my all. It's been over two weeks off the caffeine and I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm dying for a Coke though!! I've been taking prenatal vitamins everyday, getting plenty of sleep, took my Clomid and wore my patch. Last night I took an ovulation test - doc said to start those on day 11. First pop was positive!! So it's ovulation time for me and as I laid in bed last night with my hips up and a smile on my face I could just feel Aaron's little swimmers making acquaintance with my darling eggs. Still two weeks to go in this cycle and I'm already giving names to the little guys. Well, putting names on a list. I don't know why I think things will be any different now than they have been for years, why I should get pregnant at 37 when I never could before. But still I'm optimistic and positive. I know that if it doesn't happen I will probably cry a little and maybe even mope a little. But I also know that I already have a large and beautiful family and I'm already a mother, and a pretty good one most of the time. My life is good - Aaron and I have been getting along better than ever lately and I look forward to and enjoy every minute with him. I'm so happy that he's my guy. He's it. The one. My very best friend. How lucky am I?

Day 7

Today is day 7 of my cycle and my last day for Clomid this month. Tomorrow I apply a Vivelle-Dot patch that I will wear for five days. Then lots of sex (that won't be a problem, heehee), and baby here we come!

Today at school one of my students came in with some tarot cards and did a reading for me. She's so adorable, I really like her and her outlook on life. She's one of the most positive people I've ever met, by far the most positive teenager! She read my cards and then she was all smiles saying, "Yep, I know what this means. I know exactly what it means. You're going to get pregnant. I'm absolutely sure of it." How sweet and positive. Of course she knows that I'm trying to get pregnant right now - I've pretty much told everyone. Of course she doesn't know that I've been struggling with infertility for years. She would probably feel bad if I told her and then ended up not getting pregnant. But I like the outlook she gave me and I like the way the cards read. Hey, I may not buy into it but I'll take that kind of positive energy anyday!

Oh, and it's day 11 for no caffeine! I've had caffeine most days of my whole life so this is big for me. I feel like I'm quitting smoking all over again!

And so it begins...

It's been an extremely unpleasant visit by Aunt Flo this month (sorry for TMI) with some of the worst cramps I've ever had. The surgery was supposed to result in pain-free periods so I was a little surprised. Doc says that we'll just have to monitor that over the next several ones but that's it's probably just because it's so soon after surgery. Ok then.

Yesterday was day 3 and therefore my first day of Clomid. Five days of that and then five days of some patch and then ovulation tests, frequent sex, and crossed fingers.

Day 8 without the caffeine. Headaches have been coming and going, sometimes bearable sometimes not so much. I've definitely felt like giving up but I'm trying to really take this seriously. It's making me tired!

Month 1, day 1

Today is day 1 of my cycle and the first month that we are really trying for this pregnancy. On Monday I'll begin my Clomid and we'll really get into this! We're only going to try for up to six months. After that time if I'm still not pregnant I'll be going on an everyday birth control pill. This will prevent me getting periods which will greatly reduce my chances for ovarian cysts and endometriosis, two things that have caused me great pain over the years. Ultimately what I want is to live a pain-free and comfortable life (don't we all?). So as we venture into month one wish us luck!

Though today is day 1 of my cycle, it is day 5 of no caffeine. The headaches have already subsided (boy it was bad the first couple of days), though I'm sure I'll get more. I admit it - I have an addiction to caffeine!! I don't really have that much - a cup of coffee in the morning, a soda in the afternoon, and an occasional Exedrin when I have a bad headache - but it's still everyday and the rebound headaches suck. So I'm pretty proud of myself for making it this far! I don't plan on giving it up forever - just until I get pregnant or don't! Well, if I do get pregnant I may give it up during the pregnancy but the same day I give birth I'm having a cup of coffee!

Now...time to clean. :)

Another motive

While everything I said in my last post is true, I do intend to write just for the sake of it, there is another motive for me taking up the blog again. Aaron and I already have a large, wonderful family with five kids between us and it's certainly enough. Who could ask for more? In fact, many might ask for less. Despite that, as a family we have decided to try for one more. I am actively trying to get pregnant. The decision came after a large abnormal cyst was found on my ovary last month. After lots of pain, a trip to Urgentcare, a CT scan, and ultrasounds, my doctor proclaimed that the cyst should be removed surgically. The surgery was scheduled for the following week and then the Dr. sat down and talked with us. As long as he was going in there, he said, he would get rid of any endometriosis he saw and would I like him to check my tubes to see if they are clear? Would these things help us to get pregnant? Well, they would give us our best shot.

After the surgery while I was still in recovery the Dr. went out to speak to Aaron. He told him that he flushed dye through the tubes and found them clear, he cleaned up all the endometriosis, and in terms of fertility "she looks great."

Now we are here not just hoping that we get pregnant, but actively making an effort. For three months I will take Clomid, that infamous fertility drug that is the cause of too many twins in this world. I am taking pre-natal vitamins and giving up caffeine which some experts say may lower the chances of conceiving. I've purchased the home ovulation kits. And Aaron has taken a sperm count test. The result? He's shooting out over 20 million a pop. We're looking good and we're taking measures.

Lots of people like to tell me that "you get pregnant when you stop trying and stop thinking about it." Well, that hasn't worked for the first 25 fertile years of my life so I think it's time to be proactive about it. We're going into this with a positive attitude - it could happen. We're not stressed about trying, we're having fun with it. (Don't forget that trying to get pregnant the natural way is TONS of fun!) We're not keeping it a secret. We're telling everyone because I figure if people know that I'm trying they'll think about me and send positive energy my way and that can't hurt, can it?

So this blog has now become a chronicle of our journey to try to have the most adorable and most intelligent baby on earth. Take the journey with us, give us your positive energy, and wish us luck!

                                                Two lines means over 20 million per mililiter!!

An English teacher should write....

I don't know how many blogs I've read (or written) that begin with "I haven't written anything in a while..." Well, that is very true. With Facebook I am able to keep up with all my friends and family and don't really need to blog or read blogs anymore. But now I am writing for a little bit of a different purpose though I do hope friends and family will read. I am writing for the sake of writing. As an English teacher I encourage my students to write everyday. Not only do I encourage it but I actually demand it. Often they have very specific writing assignments but they also have frequent "free writes" in which they can write whatever their hearts desire. I'll usually provide them with a prompt to get their creative juices flowing. I don't want to be one of those "do as I say, not as I do" people so I am going to start writing more frequently. This isn't for my students to read, though they are welcome to if they want. It's just for me to write. To vent. To share. And the truth is, despite Facebook I actually have a lot to share.

Hope you're looking forward to it!

Soc Hop

We went to a soc hop at Castle Rock Elementary on Thursday night. The girls had so much fun showing us all their dance moves. The baby really had a good time too. He was groovin' on the dance floor!

Canon City

Sorry it's been a few weeks. You know how busy life can get. The beginning of the week is packed with work and the end of the week is packed with fun with the kids so when is there time to write?

A few weeks ago we decided that life is being too hard on us and we needed a break. So when we picked up the kids we didn't take them home. We told them we had a surprise. We went to Canon City! Getting out of town for even just a little while was so nice. We went to Royal Gorge Bridge Park and visited the Dinosaur Museum and Prison Museum. Aina did not like that museum! They had mannequins in the cells and admittedly they were a little creepy. But they all loved the Dinosaur Museum. We got to see a nearly complete Stegosaurus fossil and we even got to handle some fossils. The neatest was a Velociraptor claw.

The Royal Gorge Bridge Park was awesome. The girls (and Abram) loved the carousel ride and guess what? It was their first time! We went twice. We rode an incline train down to the bottom of the gorge where we got to walk along the Arkansas River. That was so neat and only seemed scary half-way down! There was a petting zoo and donkey rides for the girls, and a mule drawn covered wagon ride. Ani and Karri rode the air tram across the gorge and it was incredible. We walked across the world's highest suspension bridge and Aina bent down to look between the wooden slats! Talk about brave. We even had fun in the gift shop trying on hats.

On the ride home from Canon City we stopped to see...wait for it.... The World's Largest Rocking Chair! That's right. Unfortunately, we couldn't sit in it, but we did stop to take pictures. The girls are still talking about it.

It was really an incredible time. We all had so much fun.

Check out the slideshow of pictures.

Weekend of September 12, 2009

Thursday: Today we got the baby and Aina at 4 and Ani and Aleck at 5. We had to bring the baby back at 7. We did have time to have a yummy tortellini dinner (I think I mentioned before how much the girls like that). Since the girls are out of school right now we stayed up a little late watching a movie. This time we watched "How to Eat Fried Worms." What a fun movie. I think we're going to cook some worms up together!

Friday: The girls are out of school, so we stayed home and played around the house today. The playhouse is still a hit. It was cold out so we set it up inside. It takes up the whole living room! We went for a walk later in the day. Aaron made enchiladas for dinner which is everyone's favorite! Seriously, he makes the best enchiladas ever. Seriously.

Saturday: We took the long drive out to Yoder today to visit Grandma and Grandpa. It takes so long to get there but it's always fun. The girls love running around on all the property, playing on the swingset, and there are always cats and kittens around. There was a litter of kittens about 4 weeks old that they got to play with. There just happened to be three kittens - one for each of them! As usual, Grandma had crafts for everyone to do. Abram was a little fussy today - probably because he got the flu shot yesterday. But even had fun crawling around grandma's house. He is so mobile now - you can't keep that boy in one place!

Me like cookie!!!

Weekend of September 6, 2009

Friday: Karri had a chicken sitting in the crockpot all day. It smelled so good when we got all the kids home. After dinner Karri made some homemade kettle corn and some microwave cheese popcorn and we watched a movie in the living room.

Saturday: We were so excited for today. Tonight was the last Starlight Movie in Castle Rock. We brought our blankets and chairs and set up on the grass to watch Madagascar 2. Before the movie started the girls ran through the bouncy house a couple of times. Ani saw her friend Haley and she hung out with us for most of the movie. There was no room for her poor dad so he ended up standing almost the entire movie. We really had a fun time watching a movie outdoors. It got really cold though. Looks like winter might be rolling in!

Sunday: We went to Uncle Wayne's house for a BBQ. We brought the castle playhouse with us. Conner and Abby love playing in it with the girls. The treehouse was always occupied as usual. That was a good move, Wayne! The only thing missing today was the baby. It was a beautiful day and it ended too early.

Weekend of August 29, 2009

Thursday: We went to the library and got some new books to read and listen to. The girls have really been enjoying listening to audio books while they go to sleep. They particulary enjoy Pippi Longstocking (the book and the movie), and the Disney Fairy stories. They've also listened to Stuart Little, Charlotte's Web, and Because of Winn Dixie. There are so many stories we want to share with them and we love that they enjoy listening to them.

Friday: Grandma and Grandpa came over to celebrate Grandma's birthday and they brougt Conner and Abby with them. With help from Aina and Aleck, Karri made a butterfly cake for Grandma. We had chicken for dinner and cake for dessert and then all the kids had fun playing in the castle and running around in the backyard. Grandma brought crafts with her and all the kids sat around the table, just as good as can be. By the time they left, everyone was exhausted. That's good!

Saturday: We went back to The Wildlife Experience today. We started in the area of the museum that we missed last time. The museum had a craft station set up and the girls made masks. Ani and Aina made doggy masks and Aleck made a giraffe. When Ani was done making her mask she made a kitty mask for Alana. That was so sweet. Alana is coming in a couple of weeks and we will give it to her then.

Oh, and as a side note, Tricky Woo has found a new mama - Amos! She is always cuddling up with him and lately she has started sucking on his fur! He lets her! It's so cute.

Grandma Minks and Abram

The birthday cake

Tricky Woo and Amos

Weekend of August 22, 2009

Thursday: Salsa chicken for dinner. Movie popcorn for dessert!

Friday: Today we are going camping! As soon as the girls are home from school, Uncle Wayne, Uncle Sam, Aunt Lori, Conner, and Abby will be meeting us her to go camping together. We are so excited.

Saturday: Wow, camping was so much fun. The girls loved it and are already asking to go again! The grown-ups ate hamburgers cooked on the grill, but the kids used sticks to cook hot dogs in the fire. After dinner we enjoyed delicous smores! Smore's are the best when cooked over a real campfire. We had a huge tent that we borrowed from our neighbors and even the dogs fit in there with us. All the kids, baby included, slept soundly through the night. Wish we could say the same!

In the morning we explored and played on the rocks. It was so beautiful out there. We had breakfast burritos cooked on the grill and we all pitched in to clean up afterwards. We can't wait to go again.

Isn't that a beautiful view?

Sleeping like a baby

The boys

Mmmm..smores!

Weekend of August 15, 2009

Thursday: Karri made chicken adobo that was delicous. The girls ate it all up and even asked for more. We got a late start again tonight because of the too many exchanges so after dinner we just relaxed with a movie.

Friday: Karri made us waffles for breakfast. Aaron's the pancake king so she had to do something different! After school the girls played in their playhouse again. We also went for a bike ride.

Saturday: We went to Uncle Wayne's again. The girls love the treehouse. Wayne put a hammock up there and Aleck was playing hide and seek in it! How? you ask. Watch the video!

Weekend of August 8, 2009

Thursday: Yeah, Karri got back today!! The girls were so excited to see her. Aina almost knocked her down with her running hug. It was a long day and flight for Karri so we stayed in tonight. Picked up a Papa Murphy's pizza and watched a movie. Karri fell asleep on the couch!

Friday: The older girls were in school today. In the evening we went to the library for a medieval festival. The girls made bookmarks and necklaces and we even got to meet author T.A. Barron! We had homemade chili for dinner.

Saturday: We got a great blow-up castle (it is HUGE) at a garage sale for only $10. The girls love it and played in it all day. The took almost all their toys, blankets, and pillows in it and even the dogs went in to play!

Weekend of August 2, 2009

New momma

Friday: The girls rode their bikes before we had a delicous (albeit not nutrious) dinner of pizza. We watched a movie in bed together again (Karri's still in Hawaii).

Saturday: After a hot afternoon of hiking, we cooled off in the Founder's pool. Things sure are easier when Karri's around!

Sunday: Another fun day at the zoo!

Weekend of July 25, 2009

Thursday: Karri's in Hawaii visiting Alana right now so it's just Aaron and the girls. We had shrimp kabobs for dinner, played with the hose outside, and watched a family movie in bed.

Friday: We had a fun day outside at the rec center playground and swimming in the pool. Sometimes it's good to not do too much!

Saturday: The Wildlife Experience again! It's always a fun time. Abram loves watching the fish!

Weekend of July 18, 2009

Thursday: The girls played outside with the hose and had a blast (get it?). We had a delicious roast that Karri made for dinner and then we watched a movie together before bed.

Friday: The girls helped make pancakes for breakfast. Aaron really makes the best pancakes. That's why we request it so much. We hiked at "Pixie Hollow" today and saw a rattlesnake! Ani and Aina spotted it first and then we all heard it. It was curled up under a ledge and while we were so excited to see this natural wildlife, we were a little wary of what might be under the other ledges! We're going to wait until summer's over before we head back to that spot.

Saturday: We went to Uncle Wayne's house today and played in his new treehouse that he built with Aaron and Uncle Sam. It's actually more of a tree deck. We BBQ'ed and the kids played with their cousins. Aaron took everyone around on a tractor ride too! These days always end too soon as we need to be back in Castle Rock by 5. One day we'll be able to spend more time with family.

Look closely behind the branches, under the ledge. There's our rattler.

Weekend of July 11, 2009

Thursday: Aaron's sister Jayna is visiting from Oklahoma and she came with Grandma to visit us this evening. It was so great spending time with her and Gilbert, her fiance. We went shopping on Main Street for a little while. Then we went home and had fried chicken for dinner and played board games all night. We had so much fun!

Friday: Today we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo again (thanks to Karri's mom again for the great gift of a season pass). When we came home Karri taught the girls how to make homemade candy. We watched a movie together in the bedroom, eating popcorn and candy.

Saturday: We got up early and went to Krispy Kreme for breakfast. Yum! On the way home we stopped at The Wildlife Experience for a little while. When we got home the girls put on their swimsuits and helped us wash those dirty, dirty cars. It's amazing how putting on a swimsuit and turning on the hose can make anything seem fun. Since we already had swimsuits on we finished off the day at the rec center.

Aaron and Abram dressing up at the cowboy store.

Being Eskimos at The Wildlife Experience

Watch out! Aina's driving!

"Is that polar bear going to eat me?"

Weekend of July 5, 2009

Friday: This is our last weekend with Alana for the next six months. We are all really sad. Tonight we had homemade hamburgers for dinner, grilled outside, and fresh fruit for dessert. The girls rode their bikes for a while outside and afterwards everyone climbed into the back of the truck and Karri drove around the neighborhood.

Saturday: Happy Fourth of July! We went swimming at the Founder's Pool before the rain started to fall. In the evening we went to the Castle Rock Rockin' the Fourth. Karri entered the apple pie bake-off and we don't care what those judges say - her pie was the best! It was raining pretty hard so we came home early and watched a movie together.

Karri's apple pie

Sunday: This morning Aaron made special pancakes for Alana's last breakfast with us. The girls loved them. Everyone was really sad as we drove to the airport to see her off. We all went to the gate with her and watched as she boarded the plane and flew away. :( We'll miss you Alana!!!!

Weekend of June 26, 2009

Thursday: It's become a routine (at least for the summers) to go to the park after getting the girls on Thursday. Probably because we get such a short amount of time before I need to return our precious baby. We had Tortellini for dinner and the girls really like it. Red, ripe cherries for dessert, a movie, then bedtime.

Friday: Still enjoying summer. Between playing at home in our own huge backyard, we went to the playground, went for a walk, and swam at Founder's pool - the outdoor neighborhood pool. The girls love the change from the rec center and it's always fun to swim in a cool pool on a hot day.

Saturday: In the morning we played outside and went to the playground again. What do kids see in swings, slides, and monkey bars anyway? Later, grandma and grandpa came over and we all went to the Wildlife Experience to see Animalopolis at the IMAX. The kids (and the grown-ups, except for Pop maybe) loved the show.

Weekend of June 20, 2009

Thursday: We had a homemade fruit salad and fried chicken for dinner. First we went to Enderud park and played on the playground for a while. That's quickly becoming a favorite.

Friday: Today we hiked up Castle Rock for the first time together. We hiked up to the base of Castle Rock and then Aaron, Ani, and Alana went all the way to the top! They got to walk around the top, touch the star. We are so proud of our brave girls and their climbing skills. We had a picnic at the base of the rock, then went to cool down at the Rec Center.

Saturday: Today we spent a rare day at home. We watched movies, had homemade snow cones, and rode bikes outside. It was a nice and relaxing day.

Weekend of June 13, 2009

Thursday: Chicken dinner at home, then off for some bike rides. Ani and Alana are wizzes on two-wheelers and Aina will be too the way Aaron is working with her.

Friday: We went on another nature walk today. The girls ask to do this! They are so easy. After that we went for a swim at the rec center. Besides being track runners the girls are going to be great swimmers too. In the evening Karri did a collage with the girls. They picked pictures out of National Geographic magazines and now the fun and funky collage is hanging on the girls' ceiling!

Saturday: Today we went back to the Wildlife Experience. This time the girls got their faces painted. They looked so cool! After that we went to the park and flew a kite. It was a nice windy day and the kite flew wonderfully. It did get away from us at one point when it was Aleck's turn to hold the kite and she let go. Aaron must have fun five miles to get it back!

Weekend of June 7, 2009

Friday: On the first weekends of the month we get the kids from Friday through Sunday instead of Thursday through Saturday. It's actually better in terms of amount of time we get to spend with them. When we get them Thursday evening, they go to school on Friday so we don't get much time with them. The first weekend we get all day Saturday and Sunday. Unfortunately, the baby spends the nights only on Fridays and never on Saturdays, even on the first weekends so it's hard to go out of town, like to spend the night at grandma's. But we can still see them for a few hours. This Friday we had a tummy pot roast dinner that Karri made. Mmmm...After dinner, we played in the yard with the dogs for a bit. Blue and Amos love the attention.

Saturday: We went out to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo today. Karri's mom (Alana's grandma) bought us a membership. This zoo is great. The best part is feeding the giraffes. We did get to see Grandma and Grandpa Minks today. Since we were already in the Springs we went to visit with them for a little bit before going out to dinner.

Sunday: We went camping! What fun. We found a really nice spot off Rampart Range Road in the Pike National Forest. There were lots of boulders around and we climbed the rocks and explored. Aaron built a great fire and we cooked hot dogs and roasted marshmellows. Tummy!

Aleck at the zoo

Ani at the zoo

Alana and Aina find a chipmunk at the zoo

Rock climbing

Our tent

Feeding the Giraffes

Roasting Marshmellows