Prompt(s): “The First Lay of Christmas” and “Santa Suit”
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Rating: M



( i saw mommy kissing santa clause...Collapse )

 May 1, 2001

Am I supposed to be dead?

I am just lying here, flat on my back with this book pillowed on my stomach, feeling like a tractor has run over me, inside me, between my thighs until I just ache all over. He’s next to me, snoring with his mouth open, drool running down his chin.

I can’t believe I kissed those lips a little while ago. I want to puke.

He isn’t a cute guy, at least not in the daylight when I can finally see his face without the influence of the tequila and the shimmering club lights that make every guy with rock-hard abs and a six-pack doable. I can’t remember the sex, but from the way my body feels, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to stick around for Round 2.

So I’ll leave…as soon as I figure out if I still have legs.
                                                                                    
                                                                                          *****

I started keeping track of my one-night stands a while back, just as a hobby at first for myself, to remember the guys that were keepers, and the losers who slink around wanting another chance between the sheets. A little black book seemed to be the solution for moments when the alcohol fogged my mind and the hormones started firing me the wrong messages.

Rosalie found out about it one night when I whipped it out under the table, trying to remember if Kevin was the guy with the amazing tongue, or the dude who just rolled off me and left without waiting to see if I had an orgasm, which was a really asshole thing to pull (even though I might’ve done the same thing to him on another night). It didn’t actually matter, after I reinstated my policy of never having one-night stands twice with the same guy.

It just complicates things. After a while, he gets the wrong idea and starts throwing around those ‘forbidden’ terms like “rings” and “moving in” and “making it permanent”.

I don’t do permanent.

Anyway, Rose thought it was kind of weird. Then again, there isn’t much that I do that my sister actually approves of. Unlike me, she has a guy that she doesn’t want to trade in after a couple of months, a decent job and real boobs.

(My boobs are real. They’re just not something I’m proud of.)

 So, I was thinking about Tantalize, and the fact that it would be so awesome if the vampire had been a good guy - which would have ruined the author's plot line, but whatever - and this was the result. 

I’ve never had sex with my vampire boyfriend.

Just getting that out there, just in case, you know, you were wondering about that.

Contrary to urban legend, vampires aren’t these eternally horny, recover-in-five-seconds and start it all over again, sex machines. Apparently, though, I’m not as lucky. Maybe then the fact that I’ve been dating Jasper Whitlock, a hundred-year-old drop dead hunk – and the most polite, gentlemanly Southerner you’d ever want to me – might be a bit more tolerable.

Because, in case you didn’t catch the last bit, Southern gentlemen don’t “take advantage” of their hormonal, underage girlfriends.

Who also happens to be the daughter of his boss.

Yes, I am also indulging in the “he works for my dad, and no – he doesn’t know we’re making out on the counter when he’s not watching” cliché.

My life sucks.

But I digress.

My intimacy with Jasper – or glaring lack thereof – wasn’t my only problem. If you know me, you probably already know that the term “good luck” and Bella Swan don’t occur together very often.

Well, make that never.

Already, I was trying to divide my time between nursing my comatose dad, flunking high school one grade at a time, and trying to keep Uncle Paul from completely destroying the family restaurant, La Bella Italia, before I came of age. Add in the fact that I’m dating a guy who was supposed to be pushing up daisies for over a century, and my life equates to “pretty fucked up”.

( you're as strong as you believe...Collapse )

Title: Peelings
Genre: Twilight - Angst / Romance
Characters: Bella Swan, Charlie Swan, Edward Cullen, Mike Newton, Alice Brandon
Details: AH, AU
Rating: MA/NC17
Warnings: Sexual Content,
Status: Completed
Beta'd By: YellowGlue
Summary: "Everyone has layers...even her. Edward hasn't figured that out yet, but he will."

 Written for Kassiah in the Support Stacie Auctions 2010. 

( PeelingsCollapse )

Title: Naught to Drink
Chapter: Prologue. The Seattle Observer: Dwyer Down for the Count
Genre: Twilight - Hurt/Comfort / Drama
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Phil Dwyer, Renee Dwyer, Carlisle Cullen, Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale, Rosalie Hale, Victoria Foster, James Hill
Details: AU, OOC,
Rating: M/R
Warnings: Dark Themes, Dubious Consent, Character Death,
Post Word Count: 263
Status: Work In Progress
Summary: "Bella had closed herself off to the world after her stepfather's death. Will the discovery of his last great project be what she needs to come back to life?"

I don't own Twilight. This is the result of a headache, a crazy elder cousin and Copeland's Love Affair (of which you will probably not find any traces in this story). Blame yellowglue for this, because she told me to believe in myself and take the plunge.

( Prologue. The Seattle Observer: Dwyer Down for the CountCollapse )