17 May 2020, 24 Ramadhan 1441H

12:54 am, hujan lebat sgt kt luar.

Hr ke 61 MCO/PKP/RMO.

Sejak menjak ni byk aku dpt soalan scr direct, survey atau berkumpulan.... how do you feel with Work from home (wfh)? Camne perasaan keje dr rumah? Seronok? Stress?

Personally, aku suke je kerja dr rumah ni... seriesly, ko dpt bergelumang dgn anak2.... tgok dorg dpn mata... 

Tapi.....

Byk cabaran dan dugaaan seiring dgn perasaan suke wfh..

Antaranye...

1. Bile ko kena handle meetg, tp anak2 ko jenis menempel dgn ko.... dr kecik smp ke besar... tp aku dikira bertuah, anak2 besar terutamanya sarah dgn anis, sgt membantu aku utk handle aysha... aku takleh nafikan yg tu... aku xtau ape jd kat meetg2 aku klo dorg xtlog...

2. Bile ko ade keje peak! Dan bos ko ngejar ko gile2! Cth bile aku kena prepare paper2 utk bod.... cuti wesak kena keje, weekend kena keje, cuti extra isnin kena keje, ms birthday anak ko, ko kena ngadap komputer dan dgr bos ko bercakap.... ermmm rs bersalah sgt! Anak2 pun dh pandai komen “lamenye ibu keje....”, “ ibu keje lagi ke? Hr ni kan cuti?” Bukan yg besar je bebel2... yg si becok haqiem tu pun dh bebel... pagi2 dh bukak laptop, dorg mharap ibunye habis keje awal, tp kul 6 ptg gak abisnye.... ermm...

3. Anak2 ko pun ade kelas2 online..... yg ni seriously aku rs bersalah sgt kat dorg terutamanya ieman dgn haqiem.... sarah dgn anis Alhamdulillah... dh cukup bijak utk monitor kerja sendiri dan tau buat jadual sendiri.... tapi lain betul utk ieman dgn haqiem..... ieman kakak2 die tolong monitorkan... haqiem? Ermm dh kelaut.... hafazan? Lg out! Ade satu mlm bile aku mntk die bace surah al-Fatihah, die kate die terlupe, aku rs dihiris betul jantung aku! Aku sgt mengabaikan pembelajaran die! Aku xdpt folo kelas2 die! Aku biarkan je boys ni main hp, ipad, tgok tv, main ape bnd ntah... ermmmmmmmm... ya Allah! Tang ni mmg aku rs aku gagal sungguh! Tapi Alhamdulillah rupenye die buat degil die je mlm tu..  esoknye bile test semula.. die masih ingat lg2 at least surah al-Fatihah, annas dan al-alaq.. surah alnsan pun at least smp ayat 5 die masih ingat... tapi seriesly, bab ni mmg aku rs aku sgt gagal 😞😞😞😞

4. Bile aku xdpt nak fokus... keje atau anak2?.... kalo xde keje peak, InsyaAllah bolehla aku bg bergurau senda dgr dorg... tp bile tgh bz, berbalik pd point no2... keje ke mane, anak kemane.... rehat diri sendiri ntah kemane...

To be honest, dikala org lain boleh leks2 tgok netflix, layan crite korea, main msk2/baking2.... aku xleh nak buat semua tu! Aku xtau ape yg oenuh dlm jadual harianku... tp aku mmg xdpt nak buat bnd2 tu, yg dh semestinye my fav things todo! Specially layan2 crite korea... ermmmm.... 

Byk jugak akubhutang anak2 aku.... buat cookies, main masak2.... ape bnd ntah lg.... ermm tp slowly aku try catch up balik skrg ni.... Alhamdulillah part gosok2 baju, bawa turun sarung2 bantal dh setel... slowly ain! U can do this!

Hr tu birthday sarah, nasib baik aku dh orderkan balloon awal2... boleh plak hr tu aku ade meetg dgn Pn Fare, dan bersambung meetg dgn bos M.... sarah duduk je sblh aku..... aku tau die sedih... aku xberi masa utk die... maka aku berjanji utk kluar beli aiskrim dgn die... dpt jugak aku kotakan janji, wlpn tu pun sbnrnye dh lmbt bbrp hari.. janji nak kluar hr rabu... kelaut... meetg lg dgn bos... die sedih lg... Alhamdulillah pg jumaat tu keje setel.. ptg terus bawa die kluar... beli 2 pint baskin n robin... 😘 tp mestila makan ramai2 kan 😅😅

Im happy because i can have my kids around me, but in the sametime when it comes to work, that’s when the challenging part comes!

Im not sure if covid19 akan hilang didunia atau x..

What i know, i just want to use this time utk rapatkan kasih syg kami, dgn makpak ku, kakakku... tmbhkan ibadah kpd Allah bersama2 keluarga kecilku inj... tp dlm ms yg same, aku cube perbaiki mane yg perlu, terutama part belajar ieman dan haqiem... masih byk kena improve...

Kuyglemah, tpdiberikekuatanolehAllah,blessemakpak,izinsuami,kekuatananak2....

Update Sejarah

24 Feb 2020: PM ke 7 Tun Mahathir Mohamad letak jawatan

29 Feb 2020: Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin PM ke8

18 Mar 2020: Stay at Home: Covid-19 - Movement Control Order (MCO)

Update:
23 Mar 2020:  MCO extended to 14 April

Luahan perasaan!

I just need to write it here!

Somehow it really killed me insight!

Her responded  during our 1-to-1 really show that she dunno me well..

And yes, we have the gap! *poor me*

1. She likes to compare me with her previous subordinates (my 2nd superior yg suke sgt compare! I hate it!)
2. She highlighted my gaps amongst the committee when she didn’t even informed me personally to close my gap!
3. She underestimate my capability! She suggested me to move to other position....yg do process and routine work... but.. ermm okay maybe aku yg salah interpret niat murni die... tp mmg aku rs makan dalam!

Ya Allah bagila aku kekuatan untuk berada disini... utk dekat dengan ibubapaku, anak2ku, dan utk support suamiku..

Amin amin amin.....



(Temporary Backup) Test!

Im back!!!! Missed this blog!!!

Below the line~~

Very frustrating when your higher superior... not only one... but everyone around you... know that your minutes has an issue.... but no one! Not even one told you to make it good!
They just tell me to reword/refine my sentence.. how should i reformat my minutes..... but not how should i write! Then the worst thing is, they used my weakest point for my performance! WTH!!

Only now they advise me what should i refer to! How should i do! 

Proud of myself!

First time writing PPA for other person, kind of my “subordinate”... somehow i feel proud of that, and im thinking and writing my best to help her.... better than doing my own PPA! Hahahaa...

Even i know that, the outcome will be the same, but i just need to help to show what has she done.. and yes! I proud of my contribution... 😎

Being editor is awesome!

When your staff just editing from your previous copy, and amend what it should be amend.... 

Then you reviewed what she did, but the one u noticed and commented was the one that she didn’t do any amendments to it... and then you keep asking like she did wrong... it just awesome!

#lifeaskulikutif
#remindertomyself
#pleasedontdothisincaseyouhappentobeaboss