A N I S 97

i feeellll goooddd~ tenenenenee~~~ :D

might be the effect of sugar level contained in 2 Strawberry Sundae today during my very-calm -lunch-hour. weehuuu~

can't manage to get another one tonite. so carry forward tomorrow then! :D

*Miss -U-*

~aNiSr~

P i s c e s
Feb 19 - March 20

PISCES MAN

He is very emotional and always allow himself to be very emotional. He can have a good night sleep and be in a good mood, and less than few hours at work he can be very moody. He does not understand things or try to understand things easily (lembab tahap spender bak kate -U- :P). If you notice him carefully, you will notice what kind of moods he is in.

He is a thinker and able to do well at work and always succeed. His normal gestures mean he always look at other people faults, but he will not talk about it. He has the ability to know your thought and able to tell you what you are thinking about. (ooOOo yeah?!! :D)

He can mostly memorize all his anger, his loves. They are his important secrets and he will keep them to himself and will never let you know. (thihihi~is it?) He is not a very ambition man and careless about his position in society. Wealth does not drawn his attention, because he is not greedy man and as well he thinks money is not something that will last. He could be very careless about his future. He does not like to fight against all odds, but instead following the stream and make life easier. Sometimes because he likes to take an easy path, which cause him very unsteady future.
He is kind and slightly lazy, but it is his cute character. (this is so true! i can see that CLEARLY!) He hates rules and regulations (yeyearrghhh!). He will never look down on people. (like u said :D) He is a polite guy (so right! :P but sometimes not really :D) and can be very aggressive when he is mad. (wohhooo~ yeah!) He loves to think that he lives in a beautiful world and surround by nice people, (like who?hahaha~) so if he finds his world is cruel and not what he expects, he will live in his world instead.
His other charm is that he is a funny guy, and it is his real weapon. (wohooo~yup!) He can tease you and yet make it looks like one of his joke. Even when he is sad, he still has that funny face, so you could hardly tell if he is mad or depress. (yeah! till u tell me or i asked you) He likes to hide his feeling and help other people especially those who need friend or lonely. (~:">)

He will be everything that you want and everything you do not want. (errrr~) He has a chance to make it as much as a chance to fail. He can determine to make it work and can do it well, except he tends to lost his energy with other important things, that's how he miss many of his good opportunity. (what say you? :>)

He can be happy and content by himself. What he think is important is not "Love" ,but firm status and stability. He has plenty of love for you. (really? i hope :">)

He is a good speaker, as much as he is a good listener. (this is verrrryyy the true :-*) When he is with you, he wants to be happy. (thihihi!~) He understand his partner's emotional. He likes to take a long rest and sometimes being alone. If he needs to be alone, try not to disturb him. (oh ok~)

He is a sensitive, quiet, shy and easily hurt. (halalalla~really?) He wants to feel worthy. (that's what am doing now! :">) He can be mad and noisy, but once he calm down, he will be that happy person again. He is not a jealous or possessive guy, and if he feels jealous he will hide it. (eehhehe~nahh~is that possible? i should try :P) He has many friends of both sex, and he care about his friends. (oh! i'm touched! :">) He likes to have lots of friends, (we are same-same la -U-) so you can not get jealous or else you will loose him. (halllaammakkk~ okeh okeh! :D) He likes beautiful things, so if a pretty woman walk by he will look ,so do not get mad at him knowing this fact. ( thihiih~i don't mind that. seriously!)

When he is lonely or feeling sad, be close to comfort him. (trying to but fail i guess :'() He does not like to take advice,so if you want him to listen or to follow your advice, you have to act as a good sample for him first. (baik!) He likes a cheery and a smart woman. (cheery tu maybe but smart? errr~only -U- can determine :">) If you treat him like he is your special person, then he will be that special person for you. (oopss~ really? doubt it la :'() He will trust you if he is in love, but try not to over doing it and spoil him too much. You have to know yourself worth all the time too. (baikkkkkkkkkkkkk! :">)

*hugs*

C a n c e r
June 22 - July 22

CANCER WOMAN
When she is in love, she will act both ways. First, Shy and polite trembling to be near you. (~:">~:">~:">) Second, Attach to you like glue and trying to be with you all the times. (errrr~ thihiihi~ not really but :">) She will try to go home with you after work, or have every lunch with you. (ye saye! :"> but not like the Glue UHU Gajah tu okeh? :P) It is O.K. if you like her too, but if is is not the case, you will feel very uncomfortable. (wohhooo~:P)

She hates to be talked about or gossiped by someone else. If she knows she will be very hurt. (hahlalallaala :'( better tell straight on the face please!) In nature she is a shy type, except she has been influenced by some other Zodiac. She is not a brave or daring type, (errrr~doubt bout that~ depends i guess! :D) so if you like her then you better be the one who start first. She will not accept her true feeling, so if you like here you better tell her first. (yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! mengerti please? :">)
She is like a musical note always change in tunes, so one minute she can be funny and cheerful, and one minute she can be sad and depress. (puuffff~ straight to my face please! ahahha!) Other people may think of her as "Over-acting", or "Over-reacting". (overweight? yup! ahahahha!)
When she is depress, she will go out and look for things to make it up. (yup! always seeking a dear one! :">) She loves money, (shopaholic me!) and thinks of having "Money" as "happy" (weeeeeeeee~), not as "God" (of course la! giler ke hape~). She will not look down at you if you do not have a lot of money (double damn true!), but she will help you make money, save money (errrr~part of it yeah, part of it - doubt! lagi menggalakkan shopping tu ade :P). She is not an extravagant person and sometimes will tell you not to buy her expensive and not useful gift. (~:">)

She is the type who enjoy a long and quiet walk. (romantic huh! i loiikkeee~) Cancer woman also influenced by the "moon", so under the moon light she will be fascinating woman. (errr~ ya ka? seriously i don't know!)

She has a constant fear for many things. She fear of not being smart enough, not pretty enough. (yeeee~ truly madly deeply!:'() Even if she is not fat, she will not be satisfy. (now am fat, lagilah! adoiii~) Assuring her of her look would help, because she can change mood 4 times a day. (doesn't mean i'm moody ok? sometimes mood cracker =p)

She is not stingy, but you will not surprise if you see she collecting old or broken junks. (ahahahah! should ask my 'closest' then!) She sees that everything are useful to her. She will find a way to re-use it again some day. She is not a jealous type,but possessive. (kachinnnggg! :D)

The best part of her is that she will sacrifice everything for her love one with no limit. (shooootttt! damn damn damn true! aiseh~) Don't leave her in times of troubles, she will never forget it. (errrr~ without fail) She is not a weak type, even she looks like one, Example if you argue with her, she might cry her heart out. Once you left, she will wipe her tears and start clean up her apartment normally. (kapooffff~ straight to my face again!)

She is a very careful mother and will look after her kids every steps of the way. (you should marry me first then! ahahahah~) If she is a mother of your children, you are at ease, but if she is your mother in law, you are in pain. (naaahhh~ can see from my 'closests') Not to worry, this type of mother in law will not let her own daughter being an "Old mate". (yup!true~kamceng okeh? ;))

She could be moody and argue with you in many little things like many women, but she always wait and want to take care of you. (ye, saye!) If you argue with her and disappear a few days, she will be waiting for you, but not for long O.K. (wanna give a try? :>) This kind of testing is risky, try not to do it. (lalalalla~)
The Cancer woman need 2 things to be happy which are "Work" and "Love". She can be live in a dusty house, but she can not live in that same house with no Love. (soooooOoOOooOOOOooo true! not afraid of spreading the LOVE aight!)

*kisses*

~so can Mr Ikan and Miss Ketam be together? =p

~aNiSr~

yeay! i had 2 Strawberry Sundae today~ wehuuuuuuuuuuu~ (but without the stars lol =D) am so Satisfied to the Max! and thinking of having another one tonite~ errrr~ :P lalalallalala~

workwise : today feel excited~manage to settle some issues. lalalallala~

it's a happy day! called BFF on the way back home.... weeee~ always made my day~we have plans together and hope both of us can make it. lalalalalalala~

~aNiSr~

i wanna watch soccer (Malaysian call it football kan? thihihi~ ok la better use football in this case! :P)

i went to MAXIS On the Ball- The Stadium Football Experience at The Amphitheather, Sunway Lagoon on 16th December. ( i think i was there when i watched 98 Degress concert last time!)weeeeeeeeeehuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

Man U vs Liverpool! i'm hype! the fans wereeee SUPERB! especially Liverpool's! (i like the Man U black jersey though! classy! :D) i wanna watch again. in fact some of my colleagues were there too. and the next day, he asked me ' hai, balik awal smalam? :D' thihihi~ i wanted to continue to watch next game ( 'Celsi' & 'Asenel' :P) but then, waktu Cinderella dah tiba and in fact, i'm not a big fan of 'Celsi' :P (but lil bit to 'Asenel' :D tu pon sbb anak sedare haku punye pasal :D)

but for me, Man U & Liverpool game that night was AWESOME! tu pon ade orang kate ' biase je U game tu' weehuu~ really? maybe too much of watching 'SUPERB MALAYSIAN TEAM' i guess. ahhahaha~ not really :P i seldom watched football anyway. but that night?!! drive me crazy and now am so hype to watch next big game. even now i ask around my colleague 'bile lagi ade next game' my colleague even dah pandai sengih-sengih & geleng kepale, terkejut kot tgk si Anis ni semangat tengok bola. anyway, -U- has promised to bring to the next game but no high hope ok Cik Anis? lalaalla~ eventhough am not excellent of giving the comment ala ala sports commentator, but i do know when to shout and curse during the game ok? ahahaha! enough la kan? :P

Man U vs Arsenal? perrghhhh! mmg perang besar la haku dan anak sedare ku itu! :P

or Man U vs Chelsea?

alaaaa haku ni asalkan Man U je jalan ~ :P and as long am having fun! ( which i do know! :D)

Glory, Glory Man United!

'Glory, Glory. Man United,

'Glory, Glory. Man United,

'Glory, Glory. Man United,

And the reds go marching up, up, up...

(repeat!)

United Chants

Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, running down the wing,

Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, running down the wing,

Loved by the reds, feared by the blues,

Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs,

We Love United, We Do!

We Love United, We Do!

We Love United, We Do!

ooohhh - United We Love You!

~aNiSr~

yummmy! after watching Qurban session at surau, me and 'closests' suddenly felt 'sedapnye kalau dapat McFlurry ke sundae ni' thihihi~ and my 'closest' just simply make a turn to McD at MRR2. (i like that place, sweet! :P) drive thru and order sumenye dessert semata-mata eventhough the Breakfast Menu still on the board :D i ate that Strawberry Sundae dengan penuh perasaan.

feeling like wanna get another one tonite! weeeeeeeeeeeeee~ eating Strawberry Sundae and lift up my car boot and sit at the back while watching the stars! i always dream to do that. care to accompany me? i wish...

~aNiSr~

1.17am - sleep with a BIG smile...


~aNiSr~

it's 12.34am and i still can't manage to sleep. i wanted to but feeling of waiting for something. waiting for? i really dunno. haih~ i shall go to bed now! force myself to be in REM mode~

'SuperFastGoodFriend' is in good mood today. but hey~ no more about 'SuperFastGoodFriend' as i already move on! but he came at right time. Thank God nothing change! feewwww~

~aNiSr~

suddenly addicted of listening to Nick Lachey's. compiling back all his single album!

Fall In Love

I don't know what it is tonight
Your smile, your eyes, yeah
Even in a candlelight
You shine so bright
And you're so beautiful
More beautiful than you've ever been
I catch my breath
And fall in love again

I can't imagine where I'll be without you with me
I need you every day more than words can say
I want you in the life
And for all the life
This night will never end
You take my hand
And I fall in love again

Nothing short of a miracle
could've brought you here to me
When I'm with you
Heaven's all I see
All I see

Caught up in ever touch
I feel the rush of this moment back when we're here
Each time we kiss
I fall in love again
I can't resist
I fall in love again



This I Swear

You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me

I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you

I may not say it half as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

So whenever you get weary
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
Ohh we'll get there
This I swear


I Can't Hate You Anymore

An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
...I can't hate you anymore.

You're not the person that you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting go of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore

by : Nick Lachey

~aNiSr~

do we have to state any reason(s) why we fall in love with someone?

what i believe is - i never scare to show my love towards -U- to anybody...


~aNiSr~

Sometimes people are so easy to give out trust

Sometime people are so easy to take back that trust

Sometimes people are so easy to fall in love

Sometimes people are so easy to be dissapointed

Sometimes people are so easy to get away

Sometimes people are so easy to forget

Sometimes people are so easy to forgive

Sometimes people are so easy to give another chance

Sometimes people are so easy to leave

Sometimes people are so easy to understand that love is painful

Sometimes people are so easy to understand why they fall in love

Sometimes people are so easy to states many reasons why they fall in love

Sometimes people are so hard to believe that everything is easy

~aNiSr~

What's Left Of Me

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Yeah...

Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
Running from my self until,
You gave me a reason for standing still

It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?

By : Nick Lachey

~aNiSr~

Someday, Someway, Somehow

I try to pull myself together,
One lie, tore us apart.
We left so many words unspoken.
You walked away with my heart,
And I cried, I cried.
Heaven knows how much I cried.
Could you find the strength within you,
To give me one more try.

If I called you, would you believe what I had to say,
And if I saw you, would you, turn and run away.
If I had my way girl, you'd be with me right now.
Someday, someway, somehow.
Someday, someway, somehow.

I thought that I could go on without you.
Guess what? I was so wrong,
And I realized how much I really love you,
And it's been far too long.
I know you cried, I know you cried.
Heaven knows how much you cried.
But can you find the strength within you,
To give me one more try.

If I called you, would you believe what I had to say,
And if I saw you, would you, turn and run away.
If I had my way girl, you'd be with me right now.
Someday, someway, somehow.
Someday, someway, somehow.

So come on, don't I get my one mistake.
Let's forget about yesterday for tomorrow,
I know we've found what's at the end of the rainbow,
And it's meant to be, it's meant to be,

If I called you, would you believe what I had to say,
And if I saw you, would you, turn and run away.
If I had my way girl, you'd be with me right now.
Someday, someway, somehow.
Someday, someway, somehow.

Someday, someway, somehow.

By Brian McKnight

~aNiSr~

i should say it's a Wavy Day today. my feelings i mean. early in the morning, got 'continuous' support from colleague's hubby on continuing the 'relationship' issue which makes me so hype at that point of time. then, suddenly, i thought my dear BFF! called him and had a 20-minutes-consultation :p he was so dissapointed of what happen. but am glad. i told everything which i can't tell anyone else. and he understand. i felt so relieved (again!). TQ dear!

from now on, let it be.

am so glad that i'm surrounded by people that always supporting me! and while driving back home, i suddenly have thought of everything and my feelings since then, PLAIN & NEUTRAL.

and my love towards -U- become deeper & deeper eventhough i know it would never be the same again and i might have to 'restart' all over again...

~aNiSr~

Before i go to bed, i made up my mind. on my own. all by myself. i think i know by now and you should.

Just keep lil' bit for yourself. You've done your part. Let him do his.

Start new fresh day...

~aNiSr~

Sorry for not trusting you as i don' have the trust on myself neither.

Sorry for being so negative on everything.

Sorry for always making assumption before asking the truth.

Sorry for not being a good friend as i turn it complicated when i fall in love with you.

Sorry -U-!

~aNiSr~

Learn on accepting things that not belongs to you

Learn on accepting other peoples reaction on you

Learn on accepting people who rejects you

Learn on controlling of giving your heart away

Learn on controlling your emotions

Learn on how to react to people who fools around you

Learn on how to get off from people that never (ever) try to respect you

Learn on everything. Don't be afraid!

~aNiSr~

that was my expression when i saw his reply. 'baju ujan i ilang'. errrrr~ seriously i dunno how to react! yeah! that's it~ solve the 'xde mood' issue.

dear reader,

should @ shouldn't i accept that reason? wuhhuuu~ i feel like laughing eventhough thinking of something else ( thanks to 'closest' for drafting out my azam for 2008 - jgn pk negatif! thihihi~ ) c'mon, maybe seriously he has sentimental value on the 'baju ujan'? u never knew! :D

last time was 'motor semput2' with same method - late reply. ahhahahaha! now when compiling back, mmg haku gelak besar bile pk balik! i think u guys know what am thinking now. yeah! me thought of same thing. but the time will come. will share with u soon! :P

~aNiSr~

errr~ did i mention anything on previous posts that make him 'xde mood'? haih~ wish he can tell me... but if do, errrrr~ :'(

:*HUGS :*

~aNiSr~

Today, i would say a "KELEGAAN' day as my new 'baby' @ station has open officially. Selling her first drop of fuel bout late evening. was there to witness her first customer drove in. yeah! glad but somehow still lots of things to follow up and settle.

Suppose to celebrate and share this happy day with someone but errr~ i guess not today. 'xde mood'. but hey~ everybody has bad day aight? including me. so i understand. dun worry! Take Care -U-!

aNiSr~

• cranky



• moody



• down



• frust



• emotional

why? coz people hard to show their LOVE. but why should they spread the love towards someone who they actually not in love to? so stop aiming high!

*it's only 9.55pm but am going to bed!

~aNiSr~

am listening to NeYo - So Sick & his ex-GF version.

thought back :

why i confronted him? the consequences?

why he never mention anything about it?

why he gave those reasons?

why he mentioned that he's not good enough? or it's actually me that not good enough for him?

why he mentioned about those level? or is it me that can't reach his level?

does he has inferior in himself?

does he really mean what he said?

does he really love me like i expected?

or am i putting too much expectation on him? or maybe on myself?

or it's just a lame reasons to escape from the relationship?

or it's just both of us are not ready for any commitment?

so what are we now?

friends?

no friends?

no relationship?

no for everything?

get off @ get away?

why he always have plans but not for me?

why if he has plans, but never though of sharing with me?

or is it me that have always so many reasons to get away?

so many reasons to get away from his plans?

or it's just me who just not suitable for him?

or am i feeling so scared of losing him as a friend?

or did i took a wrong move to let out my feeling towards him?

too many questions in my mind and i feel that we did not meet the conclusion at the end.

now i'm sound like a pyschopath don't u think? yeah! when we IN LOVE, you gonna be crazier than a psycopath!

simple step : just let him think. give him time. enough said! (eventhough miss him A LOT!)

~aNiSr~

just hate this feeling! jealousy is all over me now. while surfing his page, kinda turn me off when arrrghhh~ i dunno! people always says that when you are feeling jealous on a guy, it means that you don't trust him. errr~ i've heard bout that. but in this case, maybe i do! i do have lil tiny hesitate about him but it doesn't strike me so much. but when i saw those photos, i'm kinda can't think straight now! but hey~ c'mon Anis, he's only a FRIEND. he only treats you as a friend. i think i need give him ENOUGH space to breath. kind of overwhelming weekend i should say. from Friday till Sunday. thoses confrontation SMSes.

like i said, when you doesn's seems giving any significant impact in his life, it just doesn't work out. sooner or later, he's gonna go away like the wind blows.

that is why i don't receive any SMS from him today! and in fact, he never mention about outing together or haih~ i dunno.

down again...

~aNiSr~

managed to get this info from e-mail which i subscribed to a newsletter. good info to share!

The power of thought

“Stress has a lot to do with the way we think about what’s happening around us,” according to Julie Nelligan, Ph.D., a psychologist at Oregon Health & Science University in Portland. “If the holidays are synonymous with family guilt or not having enough time, money or whatever, you’ll probably feel stressed.”

Feeling overwhelmed is no fun. But if your skin erupts or your joints flare as well, holidays can be pretty grim. To combat holiday pressures, Dr. Nelligan recommends four simple guidelines:

1. Know what stresses you. Is it particular people, travel, obligations or maybe finances? Knowing the triggers for your own stress will help you manage them. Then you can focus on minimizing your exposure to them. (1st thing to do is get to know what triggers u!)



2. Know how you respond to stress. When you feel pressured, do you get overly emotional, overeat, skip meals, focus on sweets, sleep poorly, smoke more or get cranky? Learn to recognize your own personal “stress signals.” Your goal is to catch them early, before you begin to feel too strained. (respond? say it out! to anybody that feels related or a listener)



3. Make small adjustments to regain control. Once your behavior signals that you are stressed, make small changes. Get more sleep or take a nap during the day. Drink more water and less caffeine. Avoid alcohol and smoking. (sleep is the best medicine! lalalalla~ sleep always help in reducing stress. yes! 110% agree!)



4. Be good to yourself. Our focus on others is a major component of holiday stress, according to Dr. Nelligan. December is often crammed with activities. All the shopping, bright lights and parties can be fun, but take time to recharge. Give yourself the gift of quiet time, as a break between all the activities. (shopping! but now window shopping ONLY! :P)

-U-

Am holding your words,

Am not hoping too high,

Am relieved for everything.

Hope am not making u feel guilty,

Hope am not making u feel burden,

Hope am not giving u hard time,

Hope we are still remain as errrrr~ only -U- can fill in the blank.

*can't stop to spread the LOVE~

~aNiSr~

:D what's up with the title? yeah~ can't stop smiling. when i came back from meet up High School Senior, my 'closest' suddenly shoot me with ' haih~ sengih je ni, nape ni?' am like~ huh? did i? seriously, i didn't notice it! actually thinking of 'U' all the way while driving back home plus of doing the 'investment thingy'. even now, i'm smiling without any solid reason while typing all these. :D

yeah! basically quite a cheerful day today! :D :D :D

~aNiSr~

pheewwww~ 6 games in a row! average? sucks! =p but catching up on 4th/5th/6th games. huhuhuu~ the 1st three totally A DISASTER! lalalalala~ but while bowling, SMSing the 'right' people, to get the support, manage to get 3 strike consecutively on the last game. weeehuuu~ yup! fulfill my promise to 'U'. Turkey for 'U' dear! hope u did score a goal for me tonite in ur futsal game (i wish! it's just a dream lol~) i've played in a relieved mood and enjoying the game till the end.

met High School Senior at 8pm ++. High School BFF accompany me instead. :D nvm! he got futsal~ but better bring a girl when u are meeting a guy aight? ahahhahaha! my High School Senior is so excellent in explaining things in a simple language. last time, he introduced me with insurance (which i don't have, ask my official EMPLOYER why!) so, took insurance with him, and now he's introducing me with 'investment thingy' woohooo~ so interested since i'm planning for saving some bucks for 'FUTURE PLAN'. thihiihihi~ (suddenly i felt my 'time' is so near eventhough still haven't get any 'the serious person' in the list :P but hey, plan before execute is a good choice aight? :D) during the discussion, interrupted with some SMSes and phone calls. but there are 2 phone calls that makes me so giggle all the way. i'm in the middle of matchmaking my colleague and 'closest' wehuuuuu! can't stop laughing but hey! hope everything gonna be fine. can feel la Cik 'Closest'! but too early to guess. but am praying hard for you 'closest'! Amin~

~aNiSr~

relieved! yeah~ everything!

managed to tell him @ 3.46am. lalallalalaa~ yeah! then off the phone, too scared to get the answer. keji! :P i just adore my 'Kota Damansara advisor' when she never stop supporting me and said ' go anis go! aku bawak sepanduk untuk kau. aku tau ko mmg berani' ahhahaah~ thanks! she always called for update lol! yeah! me got friends that support me everywhere!

reason : too much boundaries i guess but truly / seriously i never regret it - better ask 'U' for further clarification. i already knew the answer and errr too much buts, commas, and etc. :D

sometimes i feel like a fool and acting like an idiot. but hey~ when that fool acting like an idiot and feel happy about it, what's up with the sarcastic impression aight? weehhuuu~ i feel like a hot ballloon in the air!

work wise - today, i've settled an issue which quite a big challenge but i managed to settle it! weeeeeeeeeee~ late night, early morning is now my best friend~ aallaalala~ thank you all for the tremendous support.

Today's plan :

Bowling tourny today @ 2pm - Cineleasure. Feel like wininng! cecece~ pray hard to get high score, at least TURKEY! :P TURKEY for 'U'

8pm - Meeting High School Senior. hope 'U' can accompany me :D

Planning to watch movie with 'U'. or maybe cancel the meeting with High School Senior and go the movie instead. thihihi~

~aNiSr~

a big hint to him last nite! but as i expected, yeah~ he didn't notice it! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ from !YM to SMS, but still... i guess he knew already by now. i wish i can tell him straight! but i can't! too scared to do it. (of coz am expecting him feel same way like i do now!) but love is the thing that you never expect in return, remember?

'i just fall in love with you', i wish i can said it out loud to him. but i don't think he's ready especially my 'freaking mood' part. lalalalalla~ but hey, i'm only have that 'freaking mood' moment when i do not have something to hold on, something that not confirm, something that not firm. but i know! people scared of this mood thingy. i slept with frustration last night. wished everything was done in my way which is - i should tell him last nite! dammit~ i know the reader is mumbling like hell now when reading all this. 'Anis ni confused sebenarnya, ape la yang die nak sebenarnye', 'Anis ni mmg dah kusut sangat ni' and the list goes on.

but sometimes, i realised that i always made too much assumptions. something like, how sure he treats me as a friend? like he said, why don't i give a shot to tell him that i like 'dia'? woohhhooo!!!! in my dream. but excuse me for being negative as i don't want to put high hope and then crashed down to the land and fall into tiny pieces. the least that i can do is just keeping something for myself.

and this morning, i keep on thinking. can't stop thinking. and many people noticed that i'm not walking in the real world. looks like i'm outta space. i wish!

am sure he's also in the middle of 'malas dah nak layan' mode. huhuuhuh~

yes by the way, in the !YM and SMS, 'dia' is 'U'.

*dunno where to spread the love!

~aNiSr~

Jiwa Kusut!

~aNiSr~

I

AM

SOOOOOOOooOOOooOOOooooOOOOoooOOooO

TIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

pENaTtTTTTTTTTTTttttTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTtt

snapped! yeeah~ snapped on him last night. why? i just can't continue to read the archive about him and his 'history'. at first it's just ok but then when he started to tell what he did last time with her (good things la~ :P), and best part is, i can see that he still love her! errrr~ how should i say? jealousy mode arise? wuhhhuuuu~ this is bad! i just can't read (again!) and i just simply snapped and wished him a good night sleep. it's not because the birthday thingy, i felt that, errrr~ kuciwa! huhuuh~

worst part is, he read my blog too! shoot! now it's pretty hard for me to let out my feelings here. (hey! no wonder he knows everything! don't u think? argghhhh!) but wth aight? anis is shyless (refer to Anis's Dictionary) :P lalalalala~

my feeling towards him? i should say STRICTLY FRIENDS. (i have too!) negative me. but i can't stop comparing. not between my 'history' but his. before that? errrr~ arrgghhhh! i dunno. sangat jauh~ to wait for him to make that call? to make that move? to pop up the question? it's long way to go. but i know, he's a good friend. so i don't want to lose that trust.

i know that i did not manage to give A significant impact in his life. how do i know? instinct! i just knew it. when he can simply provide soooOOooOOOo many reasons not going out with you, no phone calls, less smses plus still putting 'their' picture together. i guess it's a big NO NO for me to continue how i felt towards him. but actually you did put away the 'feeling' part away before aight? long way before. but why now? bcoz, ko suke carik pasal cik anis. yeah! Anis the risk taker.lalalalala~

i simply hate this feeling! when you are not firm with something. this is not the first time that consultation turns to be emotions breakdown. why always like that one? :P first, consult and advice someone, then turn out to be me jatuh chenta with the 'client'. ahhahaha! Law of Attraction section 2(C) GILERRRR~ yeah!

before i turn into 'wild' and 'violent' with all the jealousy and moody and negative attitude plus plus, i should get away from him. it's for my own good and his too. because why? i don't want to lose him as a friend. don't repeat the same mistake.

~aNiSr~

Got this from Friendster Bulletin

MY KiSSiNG SPOT iS ........!

Libra : Under a tree.
Sagittarius : in the bathroom
Taurus: On the trampoline.
Capri corn :.In the hot tub
Aquarius : .In The Elevator
Aries : in a poool!
Pisces : On The Kitchen Table.
Gemini : Under the stars.
Virgo : In a car.
Leo : On the beach.
Scorpio : Everywhere.
Cance r : In the rain.

Post as "My Kissing Spot Is ____ " - In the Rain! weeeeeeee~ how romantic is that? thihihihi!

~aNiSr~

110%! i need to reorganize my life back.

• worklife - no more wasting time. have to pick up everything FAST! really fast! catch up & tied up everything single thing. you don't have enough time. 4 months left!



• savings - hey! your savings now is seems decreasing like nobody's business. what happen to the future plan & tie-a-knot plan? you should start now or never. NO MORE SHOPPING PLEASE! (dammit! that's the worst part! can i?!!!) leave all the credit cards (or maybe some cash too) at home. (but can i still bring at least one please? in case of emergency ~:">)



• relationship? - since now you are struggling with new work, why don't you park this question aside,errrr~ i believe quite far away please? just wait till he pop the question or give the answer. you ask me?! lalalalala~



• emotions - looks like your stress level are equally same like your building 's height where you are working now, i think you should take a break. likeee~ errrr? take few days off, vacation or something? anyone willing to bring me anywhere? and plus, your mood turns upside down easily, not like usual.



• personality wise - huh?! what's wrong? but yeah~ something's wrong somewhere. haih~ u know where. too loud? + shyless? (thihihi! i'm good in creating lousy words. i know!)



• external factors - you are now gaining the extra extra! don't you notice that? when i saw this year AD's photos, i'm like ohhhhh shoot! it's a 4 months pregnant lady in Blue Renaissance Princess dress (which i thought there was a prince next to me but hey!) helllloooo?!! what happen to the motivational part to lose that kilos gurl? where's the work out regime that you've planned and even executed last time? you are not listening, focusing and paying attention here!

and now i'm stressed out & confused! :'(

but the best recommendation to Miss Anis, you should start now!

~aNiSr~

just let it out through tears. makes me feel relieved. but some people can't just accept that methodology. 'sket sket nangis, sket sket kuar air mata' but hey! read my lips - I DON'T CARE! it's just the way that i can released my tense out. this week, 2 times!

haih~ first at office. i just been hit by one story which been tell out straight to my face and the most interesting part is - in front of other people. i feel like quitting. which errr~ sangat rase confirm sangat ni. so i went to the 'right' person at the office and tell her everything - my thoughts, my feelings, 'the incident' , EVERYTHING! first thing that i mention to her that i want to quit. yup! seriously! i'm not good enough, not proactive enough, not enough of EVERYTHING. then she so worried about 'the incident', she just can't afford to ask my manager to sit in together with us. haih~ this is simply why i don't want to tell her! huwaaaaaaaaa~ but she found that i don't have any choice besides telling my manager. so, three of us! and i'm so not comfortable. but hey! it's for my own good. and even my manager told me that if that incident happen to her, she definitely feel the same way and in fact it's just hit her too! but she convince me to confront that 'B' and ask her what actually her point telling me that such thing. haih~

today! suddenly i feel tears just went down - again. why? felt so sad when he can't make it for tonite's AD (which i've expected the NO answer a long time anyway) i dunno why i just feel so emotional. like he said it's not his 1st time cancelling our plan together. but hey~ what to do. am not been so significant in his life though. am not so call the very important. just a FRIEND. so tell me Cik Anis, do you feel emotional if other friend(s) cancel your plan together? did you cry for that? errr~ can't remember ~:"> but this time? i don't know. kate dah expect kan? so why did you? arrgghhh~ i don't know.

~aNiSr~

i just simply don't understand why can't a MAN just tell the truth. yeah~ it's hard to be gentleman heh? i dunno. i know few men that don't want to tell the truth to their women. i know there are certain things that shouldn't be tell out but there are certain things that should!

especially in a relationship kind of situation. or even in friendship situation. why can't just tell the truth? i appreaciate people telling me the truth eventhough it's gonna hurt me but have you heard about SINCERITY? in a relationship/friendship, sincerity play an important role but to some people it's just nothing to them.

haih~ am too emotional now. but as i said, wth!

~aNiSr~

i found this article veryyyyyyyy good & suitable to some guys outhere. got this thru !Yahoo website.

Reason #1: Saying "yes" to you means saying "no" to the rest of the world

Let's say he asks you to marry him on a Saturday. Then on Monday he's walking to work and a beautiful woman approaches. As a swinging single, he had the freedom to drop a cute one-liner. Now this knockout is off limits.

The bottom line here is your man wonders if you truly are the best person he'll ever meet or just the best person to date.

Reason #2: Women in magazines and on TV look so perfect

One look at you in your finest duds and your man will soon realize you too can look like a Hollywood starlet.

Reason #3: I'm not ready to give up guys' night out (i.e., my fraternity days)

Reason #4: Relationships shouldn't require so much work

"All we do is talk." We all know some guys have a penchant for avoiding deep conversation.

Many guys have friends who claim they never fight with their spouses

or maybe he had parents who shielded him from marital tension. A few too many challenging conversations and your man may wonder if all the stress is a sign of a bad relationship.

Reason #5: I'm not sure if the things that bother me about you are deal-breakers

wow! my colleague showed me a resume whereby the application is for those people who capable to run a station. because we gonna be conducting an interview for fresh and dynamic Retail Partner for our new site. basically that person should be capable all rounder =p mentally, pysically and moneylly (ahahah~pandai je haku reka!) yeah~ at least $500grant! perrghhhh mantap! and the most interesting part is that resume belongs to MMU's student! 24 years old! lady! fuhhhhh~ plus i knew her! wohooooo~ and my colleague punye nakal, he started to call her and ask her whether she knows anyone in Caltex. hhahahah~ sure la that gurl tak tau kan. but, i still can't believe my eyes when looking at the resume (which solidly mantap from page one till end). then i start to think, mana aku kenal minah ni? and pufff! she was my MMU twins's (coz we share same birthdate) housemate. besides she was also in same classes for few subjects.

what a small world!

~aNiSr~

i am so happy! just received a text msg from Retail Partner that her load has successfully arrived at her station today @ 7.30pm! i took my own iniative to call her at 8pm (while outing session with BFF @ uptown just now) just to make sure that the load arrive at her station - on time and in good condition (sesi bina rapport tu penting plsss =p)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ happpy and happyyy! i can call it as kici~kici success since been appointed for new job i guess. but her 3rd replied made me errrr~ cemas! "ada hal sure cari u. dont worry. gd nite" adoi mak~

anything for me tomorrow? plenty! my mentor will be back to office. halahaiiiiiiiii~

~aNiSr~

i had my first load handling today. gilerrr cemas! have to get approval from the boss and run to finance and back to my place and run to fax machine and run and run and run. i wish to run far far away! :'(

i know i need to keep up the positive spirit inside me. had conversation from high school friend through !YM last nite. made me feel better though! all the positive words that he said, at least keep out my bad chi away for a while. but indeed, made my positive chi to raise lil' bit. ehhehehe~ appreciate it! :">

~aNiSr~

with my dearest MMU's BFF! our session will never complete without giggling & eating session. tonight's outing? awesome! with 2 plate of errr~ char tang hoon (errrr~ suun goreng kan? =p) one plate each lerrr~ plus errrr~ =P fried rice plus errrr~ abc + lai chee kang. thihihi~ almost ordered char kway teou. gilerrrr lepas geram ke hape entah! then, went along uptown looking around baju-baju yang gediks and me end up buying a scarf with banyakkkkk butterfly on it. i like! :D

our gossiping session? errr~ so so la~ die dah kawen, die dah tunang, die dah pregnant bla~bla~ =p then end up our angan-angan seperti biasa. thihihi~ sharing my new job situation and my life plus hers too. but the eating session, mabeles i tell u =p giler lame i tak mkn byk weh!

thank you for the dinner dear! :">

~aNiSr~

perggggggggghhhhhhhhhh~ i think these 2days, i've heard so much news about engagement + tie-the-knot episodes. whether through phones, Friendster, blogs, !YM. and i even forgot to attend 2 weddings! haihhhhhhhhh~ last week on 24th Nov & and yesterday 1st Dec. besides busy, i totally FORGOT! but for yesterday's wedding, i expected 'SOMEONE' to remind me though. but i guess~ errrr~ he don't even care to remind me. lalalalalala~

it's like everybody planned so well to get engaged & get married at same month @ same year.

pressured ke cik anis? ahahhahah! naaaa~ but overwhelmed! thihihi~

today, i just break a story to my dear BFF. yup! i'm stucked in the middle but i think should tell him though. sooner or later he definitely will know about that 'news'. felt so bad but i think he took it in positive way. i hope! yeah! related to engaged & get married issue! who? ehehheheh~ lallallalala~

but last 2 weeks i did planned and jotted down in my V8 calendar for next year wedding. my friends' la of course! ahahhahah! tapi yg dekat depan mata, lupe plak! bleh ke cenggitu? :p

*enjoying single life to the fullest? (ye ke?) ;;)

~aNiSr~

wuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~ i'm back! yup~ with new modem.yup! sucks without Streamyx!

too much stories. too much pressure. even my modem can feel it i guess. kalau tak takkan sampai 2 minggu tak boleh connect kan?

Work Life : me now in new job. and toooooo much of everything. dunno where to start and even where to end. but tendering a resignation letter will be the best option right now. ahahahah! seriously! i'm trying!

Love Life : do i have one? thihihi~ naaaa~

~aNiSr~

pissed off with someone that really don't know how to control or have the ANGIN!

layan je la.....

~aNiSr~

My Streamyx's line went down i think for a week! how i filled my time then? Tidoring, TV, TIdoring, SMSing (=p tq!:">)TV and yeah the same routine :P but there's time that i went out jugak la of coz. shopping sket sane sini, hang out lepak minum-minum @ NZ with High School friends. solidly FUN! (eventhough ade gak org yg aku tak suker dtg that time. but wth! giler keji haku =p) that time, i'm so in 'Jiwa Kacau' mode. muahhhahaha~ at the end, i asked BFF to pass by umahnye. janji dapat tgk bumbung rumah pon ok la. kengkonon menahan rindu la konon :P ahhahahah! but the next day? weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =p

~aNiSr~

everything's new!

• my new job - new JD, new stress :D



• new life @ emotion - errrr~ kinda! releasing, relief, letting go bla~bla~bla



• new friends - yeah! new good friends! Alhamdulillah!



• new stuff in the closets- hell ya! u mean shoes or tops? ahahhaha!

~aNiSr~

Cik Anis, don't think too much! i think you know better. don't deny it!

the answer is ~NO~ (or might be in thinking mode?errghhhhhhhhhh!) which part that you don't understand Miss Anis? :-

solid reasons that i can think of :

• too late



• too fast (yeah!again)



• mmg ko je yang perasan sebenarnye Cik Anis ~ lalalalala~ :">

am i regret? errrr nop! (again! never felt regret when being nice to someone~)

*yeah! thinking so NEGATIVELY now. sleeping in hoping mode*

~aNiSr~

feeling so nervous today. dunno why~ whole day! till now, still feel like my blood running all over upside down without following the proper flow.

hoping some great news.

~aNiSr~

huhuhuuuh! can't think anything now! haihhhhhhhh~ still can feel the blushing mode everywhere. mmg seminggu takyah pakai blusher pi keje ni~ ehheheheh~

i just published 'Suprises' post and turn out ~ me back to basic doing suprises to someone. thhihihiih~ loving it!

thanks to 'closest' and ++ (i got new family from 'closest' network! wehuuuuuuuuuuu~) for the craziest moral support ever! went to their house (which is soooOoOOoO near to mine) to buy few elegant bracelets. and suddenly they ter~promo this stainless steel magnetic infrared thingy bracelet which can help improve the health la mende ntah. just thought about someone, and errr~ 'closest' pon memberi cadangan bernas ' nis, pe lagi, bagi ... menarik ni' and guess what?! i was thinking the same thing! that's so me! when someone nice to me, i always be 10 times nicer to them.

hope you like it dear~ :">

~aNiSr~

• felt so away



• felt so disconnected



• too fast



• too late



• too much

can't afford to do same mistake. i wish i can ask or tell him but hey! boleh tak chill?! you can see from the response. and actually you can feel inside. deep inside! it's nothing! stop putting hope~

are u suffering short term memory lost Miss Anis? or u just in denial mode?

yeah~ when reading back the !YM Archive, it's nice to be true. but the fact is, he's just a friend from High School~ only treats me as a Good ex-High School Friend ONLY. lalalallalaa~

*close the book! Anis, you are not telling him anything ok?! haih~

~aNiSr~

i feel odd!

yeah maybe thinking of something that i know will never be the same again. we never get everything that we want. even though sometimes we thought that's the most perfect thing for us but others might be thinking the other way round.

yup! he's a good friend. knowing since High School then we met back through Friendster & !YM. no doubt, i do like to be friends with him (hoping more than a friend Anis? =o). but i just felt maybe he suddenly felt that we are coming from two different world which seriously i don't mind about that. but i guess, i don't want to push it to the edge. might turn worse cik Anis. yeah~ i did my part. try my best to be a good friend errr~ yeah~ more than that sometimes i guess. hahhahah~

but sometimes man always a man. when there is a huge gap between the man and the woman, they tend to move away from the gap rather than close it or at least make it smaller. or it's just a human nature. not specific to any gender.

i can feel that he's slowly try to get away from this 'circle'. it's his choice actually. but so far, i had great time knowing him. not much to say. or it might just me that only terperasan sekejap sekali lagi. lalalalala~ wth aight?

*spread the love mode*

*tu la mase die elok dgn hang, hang lari masuk hutan, takut la ape la. skang ni, rasekan la Cik Anis oi. :"> lalalalala~

~aNiSr~

i just love suprises!

Sometimes i dreamed of someone standing at my doorstep and suprises me with a bouquet of flowers and ring me from the outside 'hey u!i kat luar ni, keluar la jap!' weeeeeeeeeeeeeehuuuuuuuuuuu~ i do love suprises. when it combine it with FLOWERS, adoiiii~ jatuh hati suda. ahahahhaah! suddenly.... =p

~aNiSr~

phewwww~

yup 2 days packed!

Saturday

morning - Majlis Aidilfitri @ Surau. me taking care of the slide. woohhooo~ yeah! so canggih this year.me had to read out speech also. adeh mak~ wakil wanita. perrrgghhh! sounds so like 'marilah undi saya!' :P

afternoon - went to Pavillion with 'closest' wehuuuuuuuuuu~ wanted to get the ballerina tapi takdeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! damn! even not at the display! geram. totally geram. before that went into Tangs, bought a Butterfly brooch! lovely~ and the price also'LOVELY' went to The Loaf to buy some bread yang yummy. yup! the Lamb Sandwich was superb! pusing punye pusing went to Clinique House. 1st in Malaysia. and saw the consultant that i knew in KLCC. wehhhuuu~ mmg ade je borak dan promosinye kan? :P bought cleanser milk and wanted to buy more but heh~ abis budget untuk 2bulan akan datang nanti. huhuuh~ then, so many places that we singgah but me so frust coz tak dapat kasut idaman kalbu.

night - errr~ thihihi~ last minute plan. went out with a good friend i should call here =p wanted to ask about the shoes again.but actually i wanted to hang out somewhere with someone. =p headed to vincci then to Dome. minum2 and chat here and there but hey he's kinda quite though. so lagi la haku segan.(ye ke? =o) ehhehee~ then headed to Kota Damansara to pass something to 'closest'. yup! went with him. thihii~ then headed back to send him home and continue YMessengering till 1am ++.

-end of the Saturday-

Sunday

morning - errr~ woke up around 10am. eventhough woke up at 9am tapi saje gatal meneruskan perjalanan tdo. then trus je menonong watching tv. then around 12 ++, siap siap for wedding at neighbour's house. and guess what! i've met my High School Math teacher! weeeehuuuuu~ i remembered as the Loudest Teacher ever! when she started to scream or even started her class,the whole building will hear her voice. yes! seriously! but she's nice though. turn out she's the sister of my neighbour. habis la rahsia kerajaan haku zaman skolah dulu. =p

afternoon - pick good friend up at his house. and ter errrr~ meet his mom. lalu diriku lakukan perkara wajib wanita melayu terakhir =p. actually our plan was - open house @ kota damansara - midvalley (shoes +movies) but turns out last minute lagi - wedding @ putrajaya. huhuuh~ so the flow would be - keramat - putrajaya - kota damansara - midvalley =p wehuuuu~ yup! full day pack! went to the wedding, us kinda errr~ i dunno feel like ackward i guess coz we were like from different world i guess. then turn out to be me going one side and he's going one side. seriously i dunno how to react. and i guess he felt same way. then, me sitting with others (definitely fun group =p) + High School BFF next to me. and mule la soalan2 cepu emas keluar such as - datang ngan sape? sorang je ke? bile lagi? mane BF? even ade yang gatal ' mane suami ko? bukan ko dah kawen ke bulan lepas' i take it as SUPER DAMN FUNNY statement of the day la. ahhahahah! mmg giler~ me going there with jeans ( Ya Ampun! tak penah dibuat haku!) and seriously Thank God i've missed the 'Pasangan Bahagia'. it's actually very closeeee giler coz' when we were like went up through the stairs and then they were just passed by but not looking towards the stairs la. ahhahah~ hope u can imagine that. but i'm so RELIEF not meeting them though! but yeah~ everybody looks like shock when look at us. arrghh~ don't bother la. but i don't know how he felt about it la kan.

evening - went to Midvalley + The Gardens. uhuhuuh~ got the BALLERINA! weeeeehuuuuuuuuuuu~ so happy bout it. and turn out, bought another one. Black Wedges. huhuhu~ showed to him - nice or not? dia senyum je. =p thiihih~ then have a tour in The Gardens and stopped by at ISetan, yup almost menyetan when i saw this brown long purse by Liz Clairborne yang giler lame dah menjadi Idaman Hatiku! huwaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ mmg teringat-ingat ni. huhuhu~ but can't afford to buy for now. ahhahah~ budget giler lari mengangkang dah ni =p (hoping someone can buy for me *wink *wink~)

sent him back to the house but errr~ half way to the home, he accidentally ter~slept. too tired. sian u =p

-end of sunday-

~aNiSr~

can't just stop it ~ when thought back, i can't hold it.

just received 'closest' call - complaining about something which also make me pissed me off like she did! mmg tak boleh terima la ape yg dah terjadi.

back to the track, i just hoping 'closest' didn't ask bout 'it' but 'closest' did. i just can't hold the tears~ but i kept on talking to her like usual. but deep in the heart, full of GUILT~ and i keep on promising ...

~aNiSr~

errrr~ yup! today's training really made my head cracked and waiting to burst. feel so like 'aku tak tau semua ni!!! camne aku nak survive?!!' and there ARE A LOTTTTT!
wait & see then!

~aNiSr~

early in the morning, it's raining. i just love rain! rain never fail made me feels so good. plus it's Friday and raining on Friday morning made me feels better. but turns out raining also means something else.

in the afternoon, i cracked into tears. a call from 'closest' that i missed so much. hoping that i'll be there but i can't.

i'm in the middle of - I don't want to tell a LIE but can't afford to tell the TRUTH either. i have to respect both sides. but my 1st prioritize definitely towards my 'closest'. but i just can't tell the other 'closest'. so i'm stucked in the middle. when i put down the phone, my tears just burst. can't even say a word. but i know, this decision made is the best for me right now. sometimes i just have to follow & see & no need to think further. 'closest' knows better than anyone else.

i do hope the other 'closest' understand eventhough sometimes i doubt about it. seriously, i want to be there for the WHOLE day. i mean it! sometimes i feel i just wanna go & never bother of him, but i know, i can't afford to do that. but when 'closest' give out the red light, i don't have anything to say. but there is also other reasons why i can't make it.

Dearest Closest +++ (why? because there are few of them)

Sorry i can't make it. I wish I can tell everything. but i guess it's for our own good, for both sides. but my Love towards all of you will never change... that's for sure!

~aNiSr~

damn~ i miss him!

~aNiSr~

thihihii~ i should publish this one last night tapi wuhoooo~ a week before 'the time' always drives me crazy. feel so sleepy, feel blotted, started to eat without planning & thinking. huhuhu~ but it's a hormone thing aight~ can't live without it!

she called yesterday. just to ensure whether i received the wedding invitation and i did tell her on the wrong-name-written incident. and she kinda very errrr~ shall i say quite embarassed on what happened? then she send a SMS late evening - say sorry ++ (i shall not publish here. what for?) hmmmmm~ i guess~ apology accepted. actually she doesn't owe me anything. yup~ anymore. it's just me. i just hate to be hurt. DAMN HATE i said! when i loved someone (whether special one, or friends), i really mean it. and i will do anything for them. even more than myself. but if they just snapped it, or lose it- u asking me? you don't wanna know how i'm gonna react and till when. and maybe you wish you never knew me before. i wish i can tell her everything here. but i think, the more i said, the worse thing could be.

i still can remember the way she look at me, the thing that she said to me that time. i don't mind people said anything to me, even cursing me straight on my face, but that day, i just feel i lose it! lose the trust towards you and i think you lose the trust towards me too.

don't feel sorry for yourself. yes! i am truly sorry for myself 'cos feeling this way. but like i said, i just HATE to be hurt. thank you for all the things that you have done for me during our good time together. seriously i mean it. but i guess, u have better life now even without me as your friend. always pray for the best...

~aNiSr~

i should start reading books by now. to improve communication and writing skills =p

too late, u think? naaah~ everyday is a learning day. u learn new things each day. i do read lots of books during high school and it improves my writing skills A LOT! but then during university, i can't even manage my time to read newspaper. bought magazines, till next month, still haven't finisih half of it. uhhuhuhu~ if text book during uni, just read the index or front chapter. then ttuuuuuuuttttttt~ just refer 2 days before exam. run through the whole book in 1/2 hour. how fast and cool is that? i'm the superwoman what? ahhahahah~ pastu berangan nak pass dengan pelbagai warna :P

have to make habit. maybe i should start by completing reading the magazines that i've bought for this month. i think my main hinder is the DESKTOP! busy blogging, Friendstering, Facebooking, YMessengering ~ =p so starting tomorrow, sit and laid back on the bed and start READING! ~yeah right! :">~

~aNiSr~

should i or shouldn't i tell her @ them?

it's not that i don't want. i really love too but i can't (i think).

but i know, i should telling her @ them the truth. but how?

scared that it might turn worse.

i just LOVE them so much!

*errr~ Super-Fast-Good-Friend doesn't care? hey! it's predictable!

~aNiSr~

supposed to publish this post on 7th Nov, but can't manage to leave the sleep =p*

today's closest' birthday!

Happy Birthday Sis! Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for all the love that i know i'll never get elsewhere. Always Love You...

Tomorrow at Bangsar Seafood - celebrating 'closest' birthday & Deepavali too =D

~aNiSr~

*supposed to publish this post on 7th Nov, but can't manage to leave the sleep =p*

last night, had a chat with 'closest' and she shared some sad stories. i'm really pissed and so angry when been told that story. love is blind and turn you blind and numb too remember?

my 'closest' also continued her stories. from my view, i think if you had very calculative in spread-the-love things, don't be suprise that your children or the other party will do the same thing. don't expect anything for return if you too hesitate or too stingy to start it first. if you don't know how to respect others, why should they bother to respect you?

back to the Loves Turn You Blind story. if we love someone, we tend to do crazy things (in fact, we turn crazy when we are in love.(i did =p) we gonna keep thinking about him/her, keep berangan things that tak masuk akal sometimes, always planning suprises for him/her (i like suprises :">) but sometimes we never admit that we tend to let them do anything to us. let them do crazy thing to us. yeah~ we tend to be 'too tolerate, too tak kisah' most of the time. because what? because we love them and doesn't want them to get away from us. we too scared of losing them but sometimes we tend to forget that they might didn't feel the same way towards us. sometimes, say the LOVE words might be enough, but once you said it, u better prove it and show it aight? to said it out, it is not easy, to maintain of something that you've said is even harder. no need to hug tight till u cannot breath, but a gesture and body language is more than enough. kalau dah asik berkepit bagai pon rimas jugak kan? understanding, respect and trust are good combination i guess. blend it and you gonna get good mixture.

*I miss to 'spread-the-love' lalalalla~

~aNiSr~

haih~ i received an invitation from old high school classmate (rather to call her classmate than a friend). when i opened it, i'm so speechless! the name stated there is ...............!!!! wth? my first Cinta Monyet Pertama Yang Psycho? what the? then i just simply called my High School BFF and told her bout it and she just ' ilek la anis, salah letak tu. ko jgn la pk pk hal dulu, dah lepas tu lepas la. jgn la nak marah die ke ape' eeee but it's so coincidence! then i said 'nape tak letak ..... & pasangan / partner?' and she answered back ' dah kalau die letak, lagi ko hangin tak?' haihhh~ i don't give a damn anymore but it's too errr~ COINCIDENCE! hope he didn't get the card that have my name written there? or else it is a SET UP! uhhuhhu~ but don't bother as i won't come to the wedding anyway unless i don't know~ something or someone change my mind~ but not because of the wrong-name-written incident, but what she have done to me long time ago.had forgive her but SERIOUSLY hard to forget. that's why i just HATE to be hurt...

~aNiSr~

diriku yg rakus menyuap One Scoop Haagen Dazs Green Tea sambil menjawab tepon =p (credit to my dearest BFF yg mengambil gambar ni secara curik-curik dan mmg diriku tak sedar okeh? :~*)

can spot the Double Chin? huhuhuhu~

~aNiSr~

thihihihi~ i guess today kind of Girls' Talk Day! it happened in the afternoon and late evening today. 'closest' called me today and shared some interesting stories about her close friend. hurrrmmm~ kind of sad of having a friend who doesn't know how to appreciate people called BEST FRIEND. but what i believe is, if you can't tolerate each other, it's hard to proceed. i had tough time too with my BFFs but hey~ we still remain as BFFs though! maybe it's just because a simple understanding is more than enough. like i said before in my previous post, there is a lot of people outhere that can be your BEST FRIEND, but are they WILLING to be your BEST FRIEND? if yes, then he's/she's the one!

then, my 'closest' called my direct line in the office and started talking about our 'closest' matters. but seriously thinking about it, 2 way communication should be implemented away long time ago. shouldn't be a NASTY problem now!

then me and my 'backsite' colleague (ahahahha! i know! sounds giler keji but wth!) and other colleague as well went to this one big room to do lawatan of good-colleage and started to have conversation about AIDS Awareness and errrr~ some other 'marriage & sensitive' issues. thtihihhi~ can't afford to tell anything here coz' toooooOOoOoOO shy la :"> we had BIG laugh la. malu pon ade, but then straight to the point la kan? it's called KNOWLEDGE SHARING. not saying that i'm the expert la kan? but just to share what i know =p lallalalala~

and today's training seriously made me feel more excited to do new job eventhough the hesitation and takut-takut still there. but hope this 2-weeks training will be giving me more semangat waja to move forward and prepare for next challenges. and today the boss-of-the-boss called me to his office and jeng jeng jeng~ just did V&V je rupenye. but my so called 'TEAM mates' were like ' ha ni confirm la ni stay kat dpmt lame ni, so pack pack je notes ni sume ni ye?' and another one said' so komfem u jadi manager ni?' hahahahah~ i'm like what the? ahhahahah~ crazy la they all! but one day? we never know...

and this morning i had breakfast with 'EXTERNAL' mentor. and he made me feel better of getting to know my strenght & weakness and in fact knowing myself better...

~aNiSr~

i should have published these photos first rather than 'Bujang & Dara's'. this happened at my 'closest' house before we had quick breakfast. i just adore this photos! when 'closest' turned to 10 years old kid! lepaskan gian then masuk rumah termengah-mengah kepenatan as the road is quite berbukit lol~ ahhahahaha~

*wonder why i still can't 'afford' to ride a bicycle till now~ thihiihi~

~aNiSr~

wuhhhhuuuuu~ it's already November! kejapnye. haih~ just read 2 comments that made me laugh berguling-guling depan desktop ni :P forgot to story of the glory when me n BFF crossed the road along Bukit Bintang Walk yesterday. We saw a line of new Honda Elysion passing by all the way Bukit Bintang Walk. and i'm like errr~ i want to take photo! tapi polis giler berlambak and taknak la nampak jakun sangat pls :P so i took my V8 and kengkonon cam sms la sblom nak lintas jalan. BFF already laugh like mad la sbb haku berlakon dengan cemerlang but suddenly i saw one of the co-driver pulled down the window and shouted to me ' errrr~ dik! belakang kosong ni,meh la naik, nak amik gambar lagi ke? meh la!' adoiiii~ i'm like ' aaaa?!!!' BFF like ' eh, ko ni layan plak buat pe?' thihihii~ me like so cam terkejut and segan pon ade sbb orang perasan taktik haku. lalallalala~ then, barulah kami melintas dengan cemerlang. =p

and today, quite a happy today. no stress as i started in-house training for new job. huhuuhuh~ all day in the room. and quite relax and more and more info to be ABSORB like sponge absorbing the water. lalalallalaa~

my best shots =p

*the Honda Elysion looked nice and kinda smart though! =D

~aNiSr~

Took a bud of rose yesterday @ Westin Hotel but dunno where to put. So i decided to put in inside the 'Mangkuk of My Bujang & Dara'. who are they? refer to photo below. The Dara was soooo in LOVE kot sampai lepak atas bunga ros tu. ahhahah! Dara~Dara~

* I LOVE FLOWERS ~:">

~aNiSr~