Midnight Musings

Edith Carrow watched her dearest childhood friend marry another woman. She rejected two of his proposals, partly due to the fact that her grandfather and his father opposed it. Her grandfather then died, and she and her mother and sister were left too poor to continue living near home, and planned to move to Italy where they could live on much less. She said she considered marrying a man for money during this time. Stability for her and her family, but she could not bring herself to do it. Well that ladies and gentlemen is Edith Roosevelt. Yup. Teddy's girl. 

Now, we all know Superman doesn't exist. People like to tell you this, the "what, are you waiting for a perfect man?" deal.

 

Well that's okay. Superman is awesome. 

And Superman is fictional. 

And you can remind me all you like. 

But Teddy Roosevelt was real. 

So, no. I've not been sitting round waiting for Superman, what a silly waste of time!

But if in my travels I am so fortunate to meet a Theodore, we'll take off to the mountains and you'll hear no more of me from here. 

Now lets move on to something that sounds less like a complaint.

Wait, First:

The Complaint:

There is no sleep, and when sleep is possible they tease you back awake. Sadists.

Now, back to the non-complaining. SUPERMAN! 

Let me just say that we all need heroes. We need them like lifeblood. Okay, maybe not as constant, but they feed the mind and heart with key nutrients for hope, valor, and faith in ourselves and humanity. 

We should all be trying to be a hero. Not a superhero mind. We tried when young, and found that drinking those chemical concoctions we tried on our little brothers just wasn't going to work. 

It's not about powers. It's about trying and choosing and trying again.

It's about awareness of the needs of others around you (boy, I have stints where I do better, and stints where I do so much worse at this): like the sister who helped with a baby in church.

It's about being willing to take a stand: like the man who defended me in the QT for buying a gentleman dinner, when the owner was angry with me for "supporting" a beggar. 

It's about acting quickly with presence of mind: like my grandfather jumping in the canal when he saw a pregnant woman unable to save her drowning toddler. 

It's about preparation: like the missionaries who study the scriptures each day, so they will have the right words of comfort given to them. 

So many ways to be a hero. So many moments we can try. 

But remember, just like any classic superheros, or any hero from real life (Edith Carrow and Teddy Roosevelt really are some of mine. I've loved them since middle school) they have troubles. There are people they cannot save, there are people who hate them for trying, there are loves lost, heck spider-man can't even keep a job or pass his classes. You're giving me the "fictional" argument again, so take JK Rowling and Einstein on that one. 

You are going to mess up. 

You are going to be human and frail and faulty.

  So what, chickens? 

Get back up and try again tomorrow. Or be like me and try again tonight, if the insomnia is coming on extra hard this summer. 

But if you give up, you won't make a difference for sure. 

If you keep trying... well, what do you think?

Cause I'm going to try and sleep again. 

20 Minutes

That's what the man said. "Every life deserves more than twenty minutes."

I read I Am the Messenger  last year. The biggest thing I took from it? What if I took the time to look at a life and find what it was I was supposed to do for them? What would my life be like? What would your life be like?

I studied the 7 deadly sins recently. Why such a morose subject? Because I saw something. Gluttony, Greed, Envy, Lust, Pride, Sloth, and Wrath. Those are all about self. God's greatest commandments? To love God, and to love thy neighbor. You keep your heart to yourself and it will shrivel up. Hearts are muscles built through use. To have strength of heart... you know the root of the word courage is the french coeur. ( Incidently valiance has a wee bit to do with strength)

I recognize the threads aren't drawing together yet. I like to mull things over.

Broken Part 2

I never really finished that thought. You see, I occasionally feel a little broken. That's just part of life. But someone once told me that weak things, like marble, are more easily molded into beautiful things. Trust Him, and carry on.

Broken

I've been thinking about feeling broken. I reread Sister Hollands part in the speech the Inconvenient Messiah (imbedded in a previous post, have a fun easter egg hunt) and she quoted a man on his statements of God's use of broken things. Well that man was named Vance Havner, and he said some pretty cool things.

      He said

It is a mark of the unyielded self to argue the case, to try to explain, to justify oneself. 

 Oh, I know that's been me all too often 

'For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.'' We do not classify stubbornness with iniquity and idolatry, but God does! He says, ''I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule,which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and

bridle, lest they come near unto thee'' (Ps. 32:8, 9). We are frequently compared to various animals in the Scriptures, and some of the comparisons are not very complimentary! God wanted to instruct Saul in the way he should go and guide him with His eye, but Saul was as stubborn as a mule. Someone has said that a mule is always backward about going forward. Certainly Saul would not be guided by the will of God.

Stubbornness. We must bend ourselves to God's will. It is best. It is always best. I've learned that lesson the hard way, and I don't want to make Him try to teach it to me again. Learn the lesson the first time and let it stick. 

I want to be a soul guided by God. I want to repent. 

Looking Up

Got nothing much to say about it, just don't let it get you down.

One of Those Women

One of my favorite films is Exodus with Eva Marie Saint. I think she was a lovely woman, gracious and graceful. Someone once described me with those words and I don't think I'd ever felt so complimented because it's what I'd like to be. I know a few women who remind me of this. It shines out of them in every way, from their carriage and expression, to they way they treat perfect strangers and dearest friends.

 More than anything because of the quoting of this
"I shouldn't want you to become one of those  women who drift through life, 'Fair to no purpose, artful to no end, young without lovers, old without a friend.'...Places don't mean anything, only people are important."

Life brings lessons, and occasionally I need a refresher course. 

So 

-willing to sacrifice

-loving and caring (there may be a valuable distinction there)

-gracious to others (That deserves an essay for gracious can be giving, forgiving, understanding, empathetic, genuine or... un-judging. How frustrating that the only direct antonym for judgemental is uncritical. I think there ought to be a word for it. My family often uses unassuming in it's place. I like that description and the meaning we attach to it. Not only modesty, (not assuming honors to oneself) but also not assuming faults or falsehood in others as well. 

-forgiving of self. (Sometimes we make a drama of our own mistakes, carrying them out in a way which lowers ourselves further, prevents us from helping others, and sometimes exhausting the emotional resources of others. 

Grey

Violet and gold.  Perhaps pain truly can bring out the best and most beautiful at times. Not the self inflicted, nor the self indulgent, but pain that must naturally flow. There in that struggle some of the brightest lights shine. 

Resilient.

Sometimes we forget that we are all just people. The crowd is clamorous and strange, yes, when taken as a crowd. And we hardly behave the same way in all circumstances. One adjusts, finds their peace. But crowds are made of individuals. "Every person's life is worth more than 20 minutes." 

So don't fear the crowd, and don't cast them unkind. 

They're just people as you and I.