THE ADMIRER

In the elementary class's December newsletter, we saw the class had listed their favorite things.

I was not surprised by The Pixie's list.

I was a little surprised by The Pirate's list.  One of the two things he listed we don't actually have so...not sure what he's talking about.

The kick in the pants was what Classmate Sean said.

And yes, he's talking about our one and only; because "she's so funny".

SYMPATHY

At breakfast, during morning devotional, the kids discussed the need to be "kind" and "patient".  

This conversation led to the issues with a current female classmate.

The Princess said:  She is always bossing people around, it's SOOO annoying.

The Pirate said:  She is really whiney too.  She whines whenever there is something she doesn't like she just whines about it!

The Pixie said:  And she's never where she's supposed to be and when you remind her she just shrugs and ignores you! That's SOOO rude.

I sympathized, Uhmmm...yes.  I can understand completely what you are going thru.  It is reee-uh-lly hard to live with someone who does those things.  Yes.  I can understand completely.

The Princess looked at me and rolled her eyes.

The Pirate looked at me and then put his head down with shame.

The Pixie glanced my way then shrugged and ignored me.

ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

The other Sunday, when we had a guest with us, my older three were perfect examples of how to jump up in the morning and be on time to church.

They dropped the facade in the chapel trying to decide who would sit by whom.

Because eeehv-er-yone wanted to sit by The Guest.

That is how I ended up next to a tearful Pirate, who was next to a happy Pixie, who was next to the guest of honor, who was next to the Princess, at the end.

I told the Pirate, you can't cry about this.  Only two people will get to sit next to The Guest and I think we can just let it be the girls.

But then he told me how the pixie had ended up smack in such a prime location,  "She stepped on my feet and pushed my head and shoved my whole body so she could sit where I was sitting!!!"
 

You are saying you were there first and she forced you to move?

"Uh-huh."

Despite their incredible difference in size, I believed him.  

Most of us human giants have learned to control our brute strength and not beat upon the littlest one in the herd, the Pixie has not learned such restraint.  

She has more menacing force in her little pinkie than most bullies do in their thick necks.

So I swapped the offender out for the victim.

That is how I ended up next to a tearful Pixie, who was next to a nervous Pirate, who was next to the guest of honor, who was next to the Princess, at the end.

We sang the opening hymn and the Pixie complained the whole thing thru.

We said a prayer and the Pixie complained the whole way thru.

We listened to announcements, we sang another hymn, we said another prayer, we partook reverently of the sacrament,  and the Pixie complained  the whole way thru.

As soon as the sacrament finished and the speaker began to speak I said to Mr. Right,  Take. Her. Out.

This is the worst sentence I can dish out.  The little bugs loath this.  It is a source of embarrassment and fear to be removed so publicly from the service.

I expected she'd writhe and cry, "Noooo!"

She did not.

She said, as he took her little arm and pulled her out, "But Daddy, I wanted to sit by her.  I was in the row first and this morning I got up first before everyone else and I dibbed sitting next to her. . ."

And they were out the door.

Good riddance,  I thought.

When they returned minutes later, she huffed to her assigned seat (not next to The Guest) and didn't speak.

Mr Right came back laughing.   

What did you do? I whispered.

He said, "Oh I had to threaten her. Of course.  But that's not the funny part.  The funny part is that when we got out there I said, 'Pixie you are out here because you kept bugging mom.  She made a decision because of your behavior and then you kept pestering and pestering and now you are in trouble.  You should have just dropped it."

"But Daddy", she said while looking at him with her innocent big blues, "I had a problem.  I COULDN'T let it drop.  Mom always says, if you start something you should stick to it all the way until you are done.  And I wasn't done!"

WATCHING NELMO

Everything you need to watch your 

favorite TV show.

(Elmo chair, Minnie, "Nee-Nee", "dink", "binket")

THE TWINS HAVE THEIR EYE ON YOU

RAINY DAY

How we entertain the offspring, though it might work well for entertaining guests as well.

The Pearl was pretty traumatized.

It took a full two rounds of ABC before she thought it was funny.

AHHHHH

At DeeDee's for Thanksgiving we sat around afterwards, stuffed to the gills, and encouraged the offspring to watch the classic, Home Alone.

A tradition from our own childhood years.

The Princess watched for a while and then asked, "Ummm....What time period is this from?"

OUR DW PICTURE ALBUM

Phew.

100 pictures of our trip. 

Strangely, I think some days I didn't take any pictures at all and other days I was trigger happy.

So, maybe the next time you are fat happy with a large turkey dinner you can sit back, prop your electronic device on your belly and take a perusal.

Take a Disney spin.

MAYBE YOU HAD TO BE THERE

Me:  Princess, did you like anything in particular in my talk at church today?

The Princess, politely, "Uhm, sure, I liked the scriptures you used."

I looked at her blankly, so she ad libbed on my behalf, "Wrong!  I didn't USE scriptures.  I was just speaking wisely in an old-fashioned language!  Ha-ha-ha."

The Pixie danced by, "Old-fashioned, 80's style!"

80's style?

Oh, I get it.

Mr. Right is old fashioned because he glorifies the 80's.

Almost makes perfect sense.

TO MY WARD

Dear congregation that saw me with a police officer on the side of the road directly out of the church parking lot,

I did not get a ticket.

But that would have been a good story.

The actual story is less good.

It involves chaos and mass hysteria with three yelling hooligans in the back seat while I was driving.

I thought maybe one of them had bit off another ones leg, so out of necessity I pulled over.

One by one they started to tell me what had happened.

The Princess, "Well, I was going to tell a story, it's about a movie that we saw.  The movie is called Jilly or something and her parents were gone and it was Christmas time and..."

And I went comatose for about four minutes.  What roused me was when The Pirate butted in,

"uh-UH!!!  That's not what happened!"

Pirate what happened?

"The Princess -(%^)!!@($)!"}:(   and then I    _)&%$#@@}:  and then The Pixie _)%@?<{!!!

Uhmmmm, I'm pretty sure that whining isn't a language around here.  Pixie, I see your hand is raised,  what do you think happened?

"Oh, well, what I wanted to actually say is something different then what I have to say, but what you want me to say is that The Pirate wanted to say what The Princess was going to say and he thought I was going to say, but actually I had a different thing i wanted to say."

And that's when the police officer arrived.

"Hi mam.  Is there a problem?  You OK?"

You mean other than the psychos in the backseat of my car?  Nope.  No problem.

"Ahh...I have two kids.  I understand.  I just want to make sure you don't need anything from me."

I considered that.

The officer and I looked back at the psychos.

The Pirate and The Princess sat wide eyed in the "reverent" position.  The Pixie smiled, waved and threw in a bounce for good measure.

No.  I think I'll keep them for now.

"All right, then I'll let you continue on."

And we bid each other knowing nod adieus.


So you see?  I didn't get a ticket.

But someday, that might be an easier option.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE STORIES GONE?

If you are reading this then I am...

Wait, where HAVE I beeeeeeeen????

I am a bit embarrassed to admit, that lately I have been so busy I have forgotten to:

1.) get out my camera

2.) notice the stories

3.) clean my toilets

Sometimes I catch cutsey videos on my phone.

Or a blurred image.

But those aren't really stories are they?  You know, they aren't necessarily rip-roaring great updates for the out-of-town fam.

Because despite the shackles on the couch, their increase in age has increased our extracurricular life.

And here's a shocker: The increase in my age has suddenly left me needing a lot more naps.

Good Golly, I'm either dragging the troupe around or collapsed on the gritty kitchen floor, much too exhausted to defend myself against a toddler pterodactyl.

Ah, the good ol' days when I was stuck in the house with three little 'uns, no Netflix, a slow internet connection to my PC, only basic TV channels and Mr. Right was working his poor hiney off in residency. 

We were, what I call, "bored" and therefore every little thing was worth writing about. 

Well, we weren't really boooored. . . but, well, yeah, we kind of were.

Now we aren't bored so much as we are borING.

And despite my procrastination these past few minutes I STILL cannot think of something worth mentioning.

Well, there is a teeny secret we are keeping from the kids.

It is actually kind of a big secret.

It involves suitcases, and an airplane and Nana and Papa and sunshine, and a mouse.

I have been secretly packing on the sly these past few days.

In fact, I am in great danger of spoiling the surprise by mentioning this - which is why, now that I've finished mentioning this, I am actually going to delay the posting of this entry.

Until we are actually in the air.  On our way.

And if you are reading this then it means I (and Mr. Right) have pulled off one of the coolest parenting heists ever.

We rock!!

PROUD OF ME

 

Glitter Spiders abound - within reach of a toddler.  

This doesn't bother me, but Mr. Right says it's because I don't have to vacuum the stairs, he does.

I wasn't actually going to decorate for Halloween at all.*

In fact, I am skipping this years big part-ay and even my own costume hoopla for something else.

In fact, I didn't even do the kids costumes this year.

Doing costumes ahead of time is fun.

Doing costumes last minute is not.

Huh-looo - for me, October 15th, this is a bit last minute.

Instead, Mr. Right dragged our costume bins from storage and let the buggers rifle through for something resembling a costume.

(See my Facebook for The Pirate's chilling display of creativity.)

If you live in our area: really, reeeeeally don't expect much from us at the Trunk or Treat.

 
Instead:

I ate chocolate and slept (ha ha ha) while the girls spread Halloween fear thru the house by purging the contents of the Halloween bin willy-nilly.

Ratty black fabric chucked onto our ceiling fan.

Then they showed me around.

 

I call this frightening scene Spiders in the Snow.

And, proud moment,  I'm leaving it all where they put it.

For the next 2 weeks no less. 

   
What's shockingly scary here is the wanton attitude towards 

toddler safety and twinkle light.

Anyway, I'm really glad and excited about this because it is proof that I will not be messing up The Pearl's early life as much as I did The Princess's early life with my own perfectionism.

Ahhh...she's going to be soo much more stable than the other three.


*Y-up.  We celebrate Halloween

WORD OF THE DAY

SQUISH THE BABY

Things you never heard us say before The Pearl arrived.

For heaven's sake someone puh-lease find me a pacifier yesterday!!

Oh that huge mark?  It's a bruise the baby gave us.

I don't care what she eats as long as she is quiet.

I don't care what she is playing with as long as she is quiet.

I don't care how she smells as long as she is quiet.

The older three talking at the dinner table are quiet.

I am OK with all baby stages, even the bad ones, if it means she is mine.

THE 1002ND ARABIAN NIGHT

Introducing

 The Bengali Evil Tap-Dancing Unicorn

or in other words,

How The Pixie Gets (or doesn't get) Her Chores Done.

AS I SAID

Like I said,  I am easily distracted by her cuteness.

And she is SOOO much fun by herself with me.

She sings, and dances, and mimics my words.

She's my little buddy.

She's learned to "buckle" in the shopping carts.

She's learned to "push" the shopping cart when she doesn't want to be "buckled".

She has learned to "park" the shopping cart when I need her stop pushing it because I am pondering which color curtains to buy.

She is still learning to be patient while I'm pondering.

Of course this is all assuming I remembered to feed her first.  Otherwise, the whooooole stinkin' store knows I'm starving her.

Believe me, I know this from experience.

DISTRACTED DRIVER

I totally get distracted when I'm driving by her every-day cuteness.

HIDDEN MEANINGS

"Oh mom look at this," said the Princess.

Yeee-up.

"This looks SO FUN!  Wow, if I break my arm can I stay in the hospital and get all this stuff?"

Mmmmm...nope.

"What?!"

But I'll tell you what, if you end up in the hospital because you need a new body part, then you can stay in the hospital and get all that stuff.

Horrified, "You mean, like. . . if . . . a shark bites off my arm, and I have to get a new one, theeeehn I get all that stuff?"

Yeee-up.

"Cheapskate."

ERRRRRGGG

I am at war.

 

 

*Note that none of these are The Pirates.  He is diligently responsible with his footwear.

IN THE ZONE

She gets mauled by her followers: related and non-related mommy-wannabe's.

We finally had to set up a parameter of no contact in one corner of the house.

A safe bubble if you will.

An extra large personal space she could escape too.

And as some of you may know.  she is BIG on her personal space.

POP ON POP OFF

Dee Dee got The Princess a set of fake stick on nails.

There is a lovely pink set, a bright blue set, a gag me green set, and all are fairly two inches long.

This morning it took 20 minutes to get them on.

It takes 3 seconds for them to pop off.

I reapplied and sent her off with a warning, I don't want to see her until she's done with them for the day.  


These nails have rendered her helpless.

I hear her calling out,

"Can somebody turn on the computer for me?"

The Pixie runs in, "I will!"


"Agghh, I dropped my pencil, can somebody pick it up for me?"

The Pixie runs in, "I will!"


"Uggh...my bum itches, can somebody scratch it for me?"

The Pixie runs in, "I will!"


It took 20 minutes to get them on and less time for her to decide they should come off.

She brought them to me, "I'm done."

The Pixie runs in, "Tomorrow I want to wear the blue ones!"

NOT SO PEACHY ON THE BEACHY

We went to the beach a lot this summer.

There it was that I discovered two weird things:

1.  The twins can't resist diving into the cold ocean and swimming around in it.

2.  The Pearl hates the beach.

(and yes, that is an apple sticker in her hair, I didn't want to litter)

(and yes, maybe I shouldn't have said anything about the sticker because you probably thought it was a bow)

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

First day of school!!!

The coolest mom in the world, ha ha ha, uh no not me, but I'm flattered, held a pancake breakfast party before school.

I told you she was the coolest mom in the world.

Kudos coolest mom.  I would not have done this, but I sure did enjoy it.

Next we took first day pictures.

You probably know I'm not super fond of posed pictures. 

Well - neither are they.

 

But they pasted on their cheesy grins and we managed.

PICK A LITTLE

 

Sad but true, you know summer is over when it's time to pick blackberries.  

It's a love/hate kind of thing.

I am pretty sure I could enjoy another month of summer if forced.

Maybe because we live in the land of perpetual spring and autumn - so we are a bit in love with our

warm weather.

Maybe.

Maybe we just really like going to bed at ten and getting up at nine and not having to dress with five layers.

Maybe.

Maybe we are dreading a soggy yard that we can't actually play in.

Maybe.

Maybe it's all of the above.

AND THEN THEY TURNED SEVEN

 

Sadly, if you've been waiting around for the next big party, I can't help you out.

Instead of a huge shindig,  each kid got a birthday gift from mom and dad and a glorified playdate.

Parties are so much work right?

Or am I just getting old?

To start the day off on a really healthy foot we began with doughnuts.

 (surprise, surprise)

And then we moved to presents.

The Pirate got this (click image link):

The Pixie got this (click image link):

 

And both items were a huge hit.

Then we invited the hooligans friends over to hooliganize in our yard.

Except The Pixie's girlfriend took one look at the testosterone 

filled driveway and opted to play girl stuff inside.

Finally, around dinner time, in a rather unsurprising move, they both turned seven.

THE PEARL'S PEARLS GET A POLISH

I know, I know...when will I stop taking cute baby pictures and move on with my life?

Oh wait. . .

This IS my life.

Lucky, lucky me.

ANIMALS: NOT JUST PICTURES IN BOOKS

 Zoo trip with cousins.

I forgot how fun it is to have a toddler.

Oh yeah, you heard me.

Fun.

You get to show them the world and all of it's awesome!!

OHANAPECOSH 2012

Ahhhh...our favorite mountain.

Like the past three years, we recently joined friends up at Ohanapecosh on Mt. Rainer.

It's The Most Beautiful place on earth.

At least, that I've graced my presence with.

  

Beautiful baby with Mr. Right on a beautiful hike.

Beautiful icey lake that my beautiful children braved swimming in (in their skivvies I might add).

 

Except for The Princess.  She took one look at that mountain lake and beautifully said what I was thinking, "I prefer being comfortable".

Watch 'em grow 2011.

CHAOS RESUMES

 

They are all back.  Stinky shoes, non-stop talking, jumping on the furniture and all.

DIGGING FOR GOLD

 

A big bowl of this:

plus a little handful of this mixed in:

results in this:

 

Which gives you just enough time to prepare 15 lbs of nectarines for dehydration.