Love and The Circus

A long time ago I somehow stumbled upon an article from a Utah editorial page called the Sun I think.  I can't remember the source  or writer and I think it turned up in my Facebook feed because someone I know "liked" it.  One of those situations.  It was written by a dad who was worried about his daughter.  She loved her religion.  Too much for his liking.  He hates religion and all it stands for.  He hates how religious parents try to make their kids believe what they want to believe and religious people can't see how others might not have the same view and just let them go their own way.  He was also quite frustrated watching his daughter spend so much time studying and reading and going to church.  She's a teenager for crying out loud.  This is an important time in her life when she should be out partying, experimenting, going crazy and having fun being wild and worry free.  He was super happy he finally had worked on her enough to sneak doubts in her mind constantly and to question everything she believed and defended that he finally won her over to a joyful liberating life free of religion.

I get if your children seem lonely or depressed you want to see them thrilled with life.  I myself have sometimes said "youth is wasted on the young" and "how can you possibly be bored?  Life is full of wonders and hundreds of things to DO."  Wanting your kid to be in the party scene though...not so glamorous as he'd like to believe.  Addictions.  Rehab.  Date rape.  Abusive boyfriends or girlfriends.  STD's. Here in Minnesota it is not uncommon to see a news report about a college kid who got drunk, walked home, passed out along the way or even at the front door with the key in hand, and is found frozen to death.  Maybe the writer partied and didn't run into to those problems...or maybe that's why he resents his religious upbringing so much- he feels like he missed out.  Real life isn't always a tv show and there are consequences to living "in the fast lane" whether we recognize them or not.That is not what bugs me the most though.  Oh, he also has the hypocrisy going on- saying he hates religion because it tries to force everyone to believe the same thing, yet that is exactly what he is doing to his daughter- making her believe what he believes and not giving her the freedom to do the opposite of his belief system. 
No, what bugs me the most is that he is selfish and doesn't love his daughter.  He might think he does, wanting what he thinks is best for her, an exciting teenage rebellion under the wing of her watchful father, but that is not love.  He cares more about his "issues" and "taking a stand against religion" than he cares about his daughter.  Sounds bold, but I'm sticking to it. 
About a week ago one of Ana's friends causally remarked, "My mom said winter is so cold, dark, and long here in Minnesota that she might go so crazy she runs away to the circus.  :-)  My grandma (her mom) said, 'I will come and watch you everyday.'"
I don't know if Ana's friend's grandma likes the circus or not.  I know I really don't.   Clowns creep me out.  I don't like masks.  I don't like the dark and amber lighting.  I feel a bad vibe at the circus.  I don't like the smoking and alcohol smells that are sometimes at the circus.  I don't like sticky spilled sodas you might step in.  I don't like all the litter.  A lot of shows/stories portray circuses in a bad light and maybe I've seen to much of those or bought into it.  If one of my children wanted to join the circus I would have my hesitations.  I'd even add, "but it's dangerous" to the list. 
Here's the thing though, I'd also listen to them talk about the circus.  I'd listen to what they love about the circus.  I'd enjoy seeing the twinkle in their eye when they talk about it.  I'd watch them practice.  I would go with them to the circus.  If they loved it I would learn more about it.  I would grow to love it enough I could watch them and be proud of them doing what they love without actually joining the circus myself.  It's still "not my thing" but I can love seeing my kids doing "their thing". 
There are a lot of hang ups I had as teenager that I've gotten rid of because my kids have a love for them.  They've freshened my view of world and opened my eyes to joy in things and places I would not have gone on my own.
When you truly love someone you don't constantly tell them why their ideas or beliefs are unfounded.  You don't share articles with them that tell them people like them are idiots.  You don't belittle them and intentionally try to intellectually stump them into doubting who they are because you don't like it.  You don't pick at them and chisel and hammer away. When you truly love someone you ask questions, not to find fault, but to find understanding.  You bring it up and ask how they are doing with whatever it is that's keeping them busy.  When you truly love someone you go to church with them and when they give a talk tell them how great they did and what you sincerely loved about it even if you don't agree with everything.  You go to the circus and cheer the loudest and spill your soda and popcorn and step in the sticky mess and not care.


Open your heart.  Be brave.  Be thoughtful. Truly love the people in your life, and "don't let [the ones in your life like the writer mentioned] grind you down."

U2's song Acrobat might be appropriate to listen to here ;-) (but it swears so if that bothers you don't)



(obviously if a person you care about is struggling with joining a terrorist group or dealing with addictions or mental illness, or actual very harmful things you should seek professional intervention).

Faith & science

 It seems every January or winter the last few years I have some opinionated, editorial type thoughts weighing that I purge from my mind.  I was thinking this winter would be different because I have been too busy to think about very many "editorial" topics.  Oddly though, it seems lately I've keep stumbling on articles claiming the more intelligent people get and the more science we discover, the less people believe in God and the authors come to the conclusion that only unintelligent people believe in God because God is just an excuse for the things we don't understand. 
This makes me laugh.  It's a very unscientific thing to say.  It sounds just as ignorant as using God as an excuse for things we don't understand.  How did you, authors of such essays, come to this conclusion?  Did you poll believers in a God and test their IQ?  Did you eliminate your biases and control the variables?  Who qualifies as a believer in God and who qualifies as a "scientist"?  Or did you just make an assumption because you don't have faith and want to make yourself feel better?  There are no actual references to formal scientific studies on this matter in the articles I've seen.  It's the typical "studies show there are less believers in God amongst scientists" with no actual name of the study and quotes from other people who don't believe in a God.  The very type of opinionated article supposed scientists would typically claim as invalid. 
This statement of "people who believe in God just use God as an excuse for the things they don't understand" is quite ignorant.  How many universities are church owned, sponsored, or even built with funds from a religion?  I don't know anyone who believes in God who believes God is an excuse for what we don't understand or that God knowing all is an excuse for us to not learn all that we possibly can.  It really is more of the opposite.  I know in my own faith we see it as a commandment to learn everything we possibly can on earth.  A commandment to do our best to try to become like God- compassionately, spiritually, and in knowledge.  I personally have found for me that the more I study spiritually, the more I want to learn secular knowledge as well.  The more I learn scientifically I feel closer to God and want to learn more about Him.  For me they are not separable and I would be surprised if that was not the same for all intelligent believers in God.  I don't think this is  a rare occurrence.
I find it funny when people say, "I only believe in science" and "science is tangible and solid, unchanging, proven, it is the only truth."  No it isn't. I smile and shake my head, and think you don't really believe that.  To me that sounds like you are saying there is nothing beyond what you know now.  What we know now as scientific truth is far beyond what scientific truth was at any point in history.  Science is changing all. the. time.  If we saw science as finite then we would never discover anything new.  We would be stuck in the past.  Science is thinking about what you know and don't know.  Wondering about the possibilities and then researching, studying, and sharing what you found.  Things are getting proven and then dis proven or built upon all the time in the science world.  I don't like talking with people that think there is only one way to do something because that's the way it's always been done and science hasn't proven otherwise.  (I also don't like talking to people who think the New Testament is the ONLY truth. Jesus is truth and light, all truth, no matter where it is found and that means it is everywhere in earth and space, humans, animals, science, a variety of religions, and so much more than just the New Testament.) Think of all the great scientists through out history that had hope or faith to test a hypothesis and discover something other scientists said was impossible.  Even if that faith is not in God to help them it is still a spark of faith, believing in an unknown until it is known.  They aren't saying "I won't believe it until it's proven" because that is stifling and unmotivating and no progress is made with that attitude.  Faith in God is the same, based on trusting the research or experience of others, some knowledge, strengthened with research and testing it out, gaining more knowledge--even if it isn't tangible.  (Science can be not tangible too- wifi for example).

I think we would make more progress scientifically, and faster, trying to prove God right and possible than prove Him wrong or non-existent.  God is the greatest artist, scientist, musician, poet, physician, and teacher.  When we open our hearts and minds to Him we can gain so much.  I don't think there is anything stubborn or stifling, or ignorant about seeing potential in everything.
 I think scientists and believers in God can both admit there is more than we know and the "faithful" should not be criticized for admitting that and thinking there is someone who does know more.  I don't see that as ignorant or unintelligent. I see it as being teachable.  Something all people should be, no matter the IQ, religion, or lack of.

5,000 miles+ part 15

8/14/14
Custer, SD-->Mt Rushmore-->MN aprox. 10 hrs.
The final leg of our journey.  we spent the morning at Mt. Rushmore.  We played the ranger games and did a hike...and a visit to the gift shop.
Then we drove and drove all the way home.  I think by this time everyone was ready to be done traveling and just wanted to get home.  I am amazed at how well everyone did for traveling so long.  I think this was the best as far as getting along, not getting too stressed out, etc.  Well, maybe Disney World was good too.  But not near as long.  I don't remember anymore. 
I do want to remember that Kwik Trip gas stations are the best.  They have grocery items.  We found out in MN at the last gas station we stopped at for our whole trip.  Now we know for the next road trip.  Which will be a while...I got very swollen with all the sitting and I still feel like it was too much driving.
We debated stopping somewhere for the night, but I'm glad we didn't.  If we had, we probably would have stopped before dark and we would have missed the fireflies.  Once we crossed into a very humid Minnesota, dusk fell and there were fireflies all over the fields.  It was beautiful.
Our magic moment with the fireflies was interrupted with a phone call from my neighbor saying she found our back door open about an inch. She said it looked like someone had been in the house because doors I don't close were closed & doors usually closed were open. She went back with a couple other neighbors to check it for me. Nothing looked messed with...except some of the beds didn't have sheets on them. I mentioned we washed some before we left so we'd have clean ones when we got home- they could be in the dryer. she checked and they were not in dryer. Feeling creeped out, violated, Goldilocks and The Three Bears moment. Who leaves the money and takes the bed sheets? We are so calling the police when we get home if our sheets are really missing, that is psycho creepy. Brian is convinced the police would not care about our sheets and would not be able to do anything anyway. Get home, we have sheets. In the dryer. She checked the washing machine. And it turns out it her son noticed the door wasn't locked so thought we were home and that my kids were hiding so he went looking for them. Lol. It turns out pretty funny. Next time I think we will triple check the doors are locked. (feeling kinda stupid about that one, but glad our neighbors are always playing in our yard...and house...someone would be kinda dumb to mess with us because that person would get caught and we don't have anything to take. Except really nice bed sheets.

 

 

 

5,000 miles+ part 14

8/13/14
Cody, WY-->Devil's Tower, WY-->Custer, SD  aprox. 7 hours
Isaac was very excited to drive through Cody because it's in Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites.  Northern Wyoming was a very pretty drive.  It was also maybe this day that I realized how swollen my body was getting from just sitting all the time for so long every day for two weeks.  My ankles were disappearing.
We stopped for a bathroom break and a short walk to a water fall in a canyon somewhere along the way, and then took a much longer break at Devil's tower.  The Kiowa legend of Devil's Tower is a pretty good one:
Kiowa Legend
Before the Kiowa came south they were camped on a stream in the far north where there were a great many bears, many of them. One day, seven little girls were playing at a distance from the village and were chased by some bears. The girls ran toward the village and the bears were just about to catch them when the girls jumped on a low rock, about three feet high. One of the girls prayed to the rock, "Rock take pity on us, rock save us!" The rock heard them and began to grow upwards, pushing the girls higher and higher. When the bears jumped to reach the girls, they scratched the rock, broke their claws, and fell on the ground.
The rock rose higher and higher, the bears still jumped at the girls until they were pushed up into the sky, where they now are, seven little stars in a group (The Pleiades). In the winter, in the middle of the night, the seven stars are right over this high rock. When the people came to look, they found the bears' claws, turned to stone, all around the base.No Kiowa living has ever seen this rock, but the old men have told about it - it is very far north where the Kiowa used to live. It is a single rock with scratched sides, the marks of the bears' claws are there yet, rising straight up, very high. There is no other like it in the whole country, there are no trees on it, only grass on top. The Kiowa call this rock "Tso-aa", a tree rock, possibly because it grew tall like a tree.  -- Told by I-See-Many-Camp-Fire-Places, Kiowa soldier at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, 1897. (I got this from the National Park website.  For more tribe legends visit:  http://www.nps.gov/deto/historyculture/first-stories.htm)
We were planning on camping this night, but thunder storms were in the weather forecast so we thought it would be better to stay in a hotel.  Since we had planned time needed to set up camp we ended up having time at the hotel to eat, play at the pool, and relax a little.  Looking back we should have planned more time like that in our trip.

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5,000 miles+ part 13

8/12/14
Boise, ID--> Pocatello, ID-->Yellowstone National Park, WY-->Cody, WY
Another long day of driving, but with more stops.  Idaho is about the point where Brian started getting a little frustrated.  Which is pretty good for how much time we had spent in the car. We saw a dog in the road.  Someone sang "Shake that booty watch and learn" but I'm pretty sure those aren't the real lyrics...   Oh, William says it actually goes, "take that money watch it burn" (One Republic Counting Stars).
We stopped at Register rock.  We read something about it at the Nebraska museum we stopped at and mentioned that it might be cool to find and stop at sometime when we are on our way to Utah.  How convenient for us that it was on the way to Pocatello :-).
In Pocatello we were able to visit with Brian's Grandma Anderson, Aunt Gwen, Aunt Radonna and her kids, Glenn, Melissa, and VerlaNorah.  It was a really nice visit.  We went out to lunch at Perkins with Melissa, VerlahNorah, and Brian's dad.
After lunch we drove to Yellowstone taking the south part of the loop and exited out the east entrance.  We were able to see a few geysers and caught Old Faithful around 9 at night right as it was getting dark (so I didn't take any pictures figuring they wouldn't show up).  The rest of our drive was dark.  The moon over the lake was pretty.  We saw two mice run across the road, but that's it.  I think the kids saw some deer or antelope before it got dark.  Just before Cody, probably around midnight, when we went through a tunnel there were long boarders riding through.  Kind of fun.  When we got to our hotel they had given our room away :-( and we had to stay at a more expensive and not that great of a hotel in two separate rooms...but at least it was a place to stay after a long day of driving, right?

Beauty of Idaho...including the bug splats

 

hmm.  we're not dogs on leash.  Think we can still visit?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tetons in the background

Yellowstone (all the next pictures)