I'm cleaning off my CD shelf, because I need to clean out my office. My "office", which used to be my "man cave," but is really still both but feels like more of the latter since I started working from home full time.
I'm taking CDs that have been ignored on shelves for years, and putting them in books, because "I might still listen to them." But here's the thing about the process: I am, now. Listening to them. While I do this bit of frivolous housework.
The CD was a great format. But that's another post.
So much amazing obscure music that I know is going to be lost to the dustbin of history soon. A lot of this isn't on Spotify. Not that Spotify is forever.
I have so much admiration for these artists who are reaching out to me across decades. We'll all be gone soon, I know. But, for whatever reason: I'm a very left-brained person who has always jealously admired the right-brained. My natural gifts have given me a comfortable life, but I always wonder what my life might have been had I been given different ones. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
...Anything exciting happen in the last year? ;)
I should have blogged this years ago, when it happened; but now, for posterity:
One day, Jen and I were at Home Depot. Whilst paying, I notice that the cashier (a teenage girl) had a nametag that said "Ninja."
"Ha, I can't believe they let you do that."
An imperceptible sigh, from one who has heard this many times. "It's my name."
"It is? You are so cool! I mean, I guess your parents are SO COOL!"
This earned me an icy look. Psychic daggers shoot through my face. She responded in the deniably venomous tone of voice that only a teenage girl can make after hearing an adult tell her that her parents are "so cool."
"Not really."
I found out last night that my grandmother died on Easter weekend.
Among the many instructions she left for her sister, nobody was to be informed for at least a month. This probably hints at the strained nature of her relationship with the rest of the family. So, I won't say that I'm as choked up as some might be; but I do have emotions to sort out. And paperwork, I guess. She left an insurance policy, which I don't really need (and honestly feel weird about getting), but which will probably make my sister's life a little more comfortable. (Maybe. I have no idea what it is. Could be fifty bucks.)
I also have dental surgery at 6pm, and just found out I need to travel to Detroit for work for a couple of days in late May; which are pretty minor in comparison but just add up to feeling pretty craptastic about my day (and my next month). It's a great class of problems I have, for sure, but I'm still a little bummed.
Long time no post. No substantial post, anyway.
I'm pretty private when it comes to family stuff (at least compared to my "open book" life otherwise) but a few things going down there. I love them, but they have their issues.
I mean, I do too. So do you. We all do. Theirs just worry me more.
I'm working (like, job/career) much less this year than the dumpster fire that was 2017, but still surprisingly busy. As it turns out, I'm terrible at OO development, but pretty good at technical administration with a dollop of middle management. I learn quickly and don't mind being spread around among a bunch of responsibilities. I'm still the de facto DBA, and I'm managing source control and builds and deployments and hotfixes and code merges for our ERP system; but not really writing much code myself. Despite some generous bonuses, no raise. So, I'm a little disappointed about some of my decisions. Very valuable to my employer, but not a huge market for my weird mix of skills to negotiate with.
Dungeons & Dragons continues to be a high point of my week, but it's a time-consuming hobby (at least being "Dungeon Master" is), keeping me away from all the other time-consuming hobbies I'm into. I'm not spending any time on magic, and missing it; and less time on music than I'd like.
I suspect low energy is part of it. Even though Jen is good at motivating me to work out, I'm just tired most evenings in the winter. So sometimes I fall into a TV rut instead of doing things I'd prefer.
( Read more...Collapse )My feelings on working form home versus an office haven't changed much. I'm usually happier and a litlte more productive from home. (Not everybody can be, with the distractions of one's own house.) Not to mention that I have more time when I'm getting crushed, since it cuts out commuting.
But: the office is friendly, comfortable, and free of noisy pets. Also... I'm a little embarrassed to admit... I was occasionally going for days without showering when I didn't have anywhere to go. And, yeah, that means I was literally not leaving the house for sometimes a few days at a time. Which an introvert finds heavenly; but probably gets unhealthy after too long.
Outside of work, I've been dealing with family (two siblings with car trouble the same week, probably a trip to Connelsville this weekend) and studying Tomb Of Annihilation for our D&D campaign. I think I'd like to get involved in a second D&D group; I've invested a bit in the game now, and I'm really enjoying it. I haven't been playing video games much, nor watching a lot of TV, so if I keep that up I might have a little free time on my hands. I need to get together with some long-neglected friends. Oh, and maybe restart learning magic (I've pretty much forgotten everything now). Hmm, maybe I shouldn't get involved with another D&D group...
I have been part of the year-long process that has directly involved dozens of people and indirectly many more, with millions of dollars spent on consultants and software, not to mention internal man-hours. On a personal level, I've sacrificed numerous nights, weekends, and even vacations to make this happen smoothly and within a reasonable timeframe; I've largely abandoned a career path I'd been following for seventeen years to embrace a new role and technology.
So, I guess it's no wonder that my stomach felt like a pit of butterflies when I read subject lines like "APPROVED - WE ARE GOING LIVE!!!" Or that my hands were literally shaking hard enough that I found it difficult to type up the request to our vendor to kickstart the process.
I know that a lot of people like to keep a strict work-life separation, and I respect that. But I haven't felt like this since being a kid on Christmas Eve, waiting for Santa to come. I knew my life would be changing, but it's all sinking in now... what I did for the past year and how my life is about to significantly change again as we settle in.
As a long-time semi-pro DJ, I acquired a lot of CDs that I never hugely cared for, and we only have just so much space. It's not that I've given up on the format; I recently doubled down on physical media, picking up a new CD player of decent quality, and I've got it (along with our turntable) hooked up to speakers in our dining room. It's not that I'm a snob about format; I probably blew out my ears too badly, while DJing, to distinguish fine differences. But besides the tactile joy of a physical artifact, there's something special about being forced to listen to an entire album, disabling your own ability to easily skip around.
I'm discovering during this process that I have a lot of CDs with music I could not replace. And I don't just mean, "I can't still buy this CD"... I mean, digital versions of a lot of it don't exist. I always did listen to weird music, and I've got a lot of rare stuff or obscure remix singles. It's kind of scary, but it's also a reminder of our own lack of permanence. I'm sure plenty of great music has already been lost forever. The world will be fine without a couple of weird goth remixes.
I can't quite bring myself to toss some of them in a wastebin, though. And let's be honest: nobody wants a bunch of weird ass obscure CDs that I was the only one listening to in the 90's, much less now, so I can't even give them away. (So far, Flan by Dogbowl has beaten out The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown for "Weirdest," but give me time.)
However, the date has been pushed back to August 21. On one hand, this means I breathe a little easier now. On the other hand, the light at the end of the tunnel just got a bit more distant.
I'm not even really playing video games much anymore, and I leave the house pretty rarely. The one hobby I'm still maintaining for fun is Dungeons & Dragons roughly once a week. If you've ever played, especially as a "Dungeon Master," you'll know there is a lot of work involved... so that's a bummer in some ways, but in others, it's good. I'm so used to keeping up a certain pace that it's pretty hard for me to relax anymore. I've become very bad at socializing and conversation, because my mind is always racing off to other places, and I feel guilty, and quite frankly (probably most significantly) I have nothing going on in my life to talk about. I'm pretty sure people don't want to hear about code debugging.
Here are the things I am looking forward to:
- The Final Fantasy XII remaster
- The KLF book
- Attending magic club meetings again, probably in September
- Going from summertime "one shot" adventures to an epic campaign in D&D (Tomb Of Annihilation?)
- I've been saving up for, and expect a big ass work bonus to help cover, a trip to Aruba at the beginning of November
Travel for work is especially weird for me on an introvert level. Breakfast with co-worker, all day in conference room (including lunch) with co-workers, dinner with co-workers, possibly drinks with a co-worker, so pretty soon I'm only alone for a couple of waking hours during a four-day stretch. Hard to process everything going on without a little downtime!
But, this weekend, I finally took some selfish time and did almost no work. My soul is rejuvenated! I spent Friday night with friends, and I played some Dungeons & Dragons yesterday, and I've got some fun plans for the next few days.
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