Iʼve lived through many ages.

Iʼve seen suffering in the Darkness.

Yet, I have seen beauty thrive

in the most fragile of places.

I have seen the Book,

the Book that turned the Darkness into Light.

my name is Guill, short for Guillermo. but only people close to me tend to call me that. you may call be Bluebeard or Willahelm or, if you know me from elsewhere, Prince or Devil Flamingo. I'm not really picky about it. I'm not sure how you and your cat found your way into my forest, but since you're here, you might as well leave a comment if you intend to add me to your friends list. I don't mind new friends so long as we have similar interests and I like your LJ.

and yes, this journal is





ALL ABOUT ME . . .

{PERSONALITY}


astrology:

Sun in Leo || Moon in Scorpius
Mercury & Ascendant in Cancer || Mars & Descendant in Aries
Venus & Jupiter in Gemini || Saturn & Uranus in Sagittarius
Neptune in Capricornus || Pluto in Scorpius


Houses:

Martell + Greyjoy || Gryffindor + Ravenclaw


MBTI & Enneagram:

ISFP || 4w3 sx-so

{FILM & TELEVISION}


actors:

Clint Walker, Clive Owen, Daniel Craig, Eric Bana, Gilles Lellouche, Harrison Ford, Idris Elba, Ioan Gruffudd, Jean Dujardin, John Cusack, Jung Woo Sung, Lars Mikkelsen, Luke Evans, Mads Mikkelsen, Mark Pellegrino, Mark Ruffalo, Michael Fassbender, Nathan Fillion, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau,Philip Winchester, Russell Crowe, Scott Caan, Sean Bean, Simon Baker, Tom Burke


actresses:

Anne Hathaway, Ellen Page, Famke Janssen, Gemma Arterton, Gong Li, Keira Knightley, Marion Cotillard, Milla Jovovich, Monica Bellucci, Phoebe Tonkin, Rachel McAdams, Rachel Weisz, Scarlett Johansson, Stana Katic, Whoopi Goldberg, Zhang Ziyi


animé:

Axis Powers Hetalia, Bleach, Cardcaptor Sakura, El Cazador de la Bruja, Durarara!!, Fate/Zero, Fruits Basket, Kuroko no Basket, Mai-Hime, Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Rozen Maiden, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, Toradora!


K-dramas:

A Gentleman's Dignity, Boys Before Flowers, Cheongdamdong Alice, Coffee Prince, Lie to Me, Oh My Ghostess!, Padam Padam, Secret Garden, Soulmate, The Master's Sun, Triple


movies:

Adam's Apples, Alice in Wonderland, All Over the Guy, Avengers, Beauty and the Beast, Bride & Prejudice, Brokeback Mountain, Casino Royale, Dangerous Beauty, Dr. Zhivago, The Duchess, The Emperor's New Groove, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Harry Potter, The Hobbit, House of Flying Daggers, The Little Mermaid, Mean Girls, Memoirs of a Geisha, Mongol, The Princess and the Frog, Pocahontas, Pokemon, Pride & Prejudice, Saving Face, Say Anything, The Secret of Kells, Sleeping Beauty, Skyfall, Thor, Wuthering Heights


television:

Castle, Charmed, Desperate Housewives, Downton Abbey, Firefly, Fringe, Game of Thrones, Hawaii Five-0, H2O: Just Add Water, Luther, Mad Men, Moonlight, NCIS, New Amsterdam, Pan Am, Supernatural, Terra Nova, The Bridge, True Blood

{LANGUAGES}


I know

Español || English


I'm learning

Français || Italiano || Nederlands || Português


I love

Dansk, Deutsch, 한국말, Íslenska, Latviešu, Nederlands, 日本語, ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, Polski, Suomi, Türkçe

{MUSIC}

America

Céline Dion, Coeur de Pirate, Jace Everett, Jeremy Soule, Lady Gaga, Lana del Rey, Loreena McKennitt, Nelly Furtado, Nox Arcana, Selena, Shakira, Taylor Swift, Tori Amos, Vienna Teng


Asia

Altan Urag, Ayumi Hamasaki, Ivy, Jay Chou, K.Will, Kalafina, Kim Tae Woo, Kokia, Lee Jung Hyun, Rain, Rurutia, Tsukiko Amano, Utada Hikaru, Wonder Girls, Yuki Kajiura, 2NE1


Europe

Adele, Alexandre Desplat, Andrea Bocelli, Andrzej Piaseczny, Benjamin Biolay, Élodie Fregé, Emilíana Torrini, Empyrium, Enya, Faun, Gorillaz, Gossos, Il Divo, Kyo, Laura Pausini, Nightwish, Ozan, Queen, Tarkan, Tchaikovsky, The Moon and the Nightspirit, Týr, Värttinä

Here we go again.

Before I start, I'm upping Mega Altaria's rating to 10/10. I realized over the weekend that her balanced stats are actually good, especially her equal offenses, and here's why: it means her mega doesn't automatically have to go special with fairy'd Hyper Voice. As it happens, Mega Altaria can run Dragon Dance with her 110 attack and 80 speed, and abuse Fairy Skin ("Pixilate" in EN) through Return, which becomes a 130 power physical Fairy move, and of course through Dragon Dance its power is increased. That is boss.

Anyways, in the past few days I've been thinking about some of the other megas, and wrote some stuff down. I don't really plan to use these (and thus won't rate them), and, once again, not all of them will be here, so there's going to be at least one more such post, probably reviewing the mega legendaries and the mega starters.

---

( Read more...Collapse )

I was gonna talk about my shitty day, but I'm not gonna because I don't wanna. It's not going to solve a damn thing, and it's really just about the same ol' thing: university sucks, you're not learning anything, tests make you pull answers out of your ass, written assignments are stupid, and so on. So instead I'll jot down some thoughts about Pokemon mega evolutions, which are all the rage. It would appear that GameFreak/Nintendo intends to fully milk the mega evolution Miltank (speaking of which, Mega Miltank would be boss), and it's really getting out of hand. But to be honest, it got out of hand the minute things like Mega Gengar, Mega Kangaskhan, and Mega Lucario became a thing. So getting op shit like Mega Salamence and Mega Metagross (which I'll address here) is really not going to make a difference now because that pandora's box has been opened, and their idea of "balance" is really out of balance.

But anyway, here's them. I'm not gonna cover all of them today, just the ones I like.


MEGA AUDINO

[vibrates intensely]
GUI IS REACTING TO THE MEGA AUDICKSTONE!
[mega evolves]
CCOOOOOOOOOOOOCKSSSSS!
MEGA GUI USED SPERM MOONBEAM.
all the basic bitches fainted...

I'm just fucking done. I am DONE. Not only is Mega Audino the perfect combination of Sailor Moon and Puella Magi Madoka Magica, it's also the cutest mega by far, and prettier than fake Latina bitch Mega Diancie (for those who don't know it, the carbuncle is from South American legend). Mega Audino also has nothing to envy Mega Diancie, who gave up its awesome 50/150/150 defenses upon mega evolving and turned to offense (boo!) So Mega Diancie has 50/110/110 defenses, which is not remarkable at all given her HP stat. Of course, Mega Diancie has better offenses than Mega Audino (so does Mega Altaria for that matter) but you forget that Mega Audino is meant to support + heal while his partner does all the attacking, and unfortunately Mega Altaria and Mega Diancie just aren't that good at support.

Let me explain Mega Audino in terms simple sissies like y'all can understand:

It has 103/126/126 defenses. That's more balanced than Blissey (who isn't fairy), higher than Clefable and Aromatisse, almost as bulky as Wigglytuff in terms of HP, and much more physically defensive than Florges. None of those, by the way (except Aromatisse) can set up Trick Room, and none of them share M-Audi's type except Wigglytuff who has terribad stats.

Those defensive stats would be meh if M-Audi was still Normal, but because it's Normal-FAIRY, they're a game changer. It gives him 2 neat resistances to Bug and Dark, and 2 awesome immunities to Dragon and Ghost. He's got plenty of moves to heal himself, his partner, and get rid of status, so damage and status doesn't scare him easily.

So what is he lacking? Speed (only 50) and offensive power (60 Attack and 80 Sp. Attack), which is why you absolutely must use M-Audi to support the team while they do the ass-kicking. Mega Audino is everything my darling Emboar wants in a partner, and even Gothitelle appreciates his support (I may breed a more offensive Gothi now).

There's nothing about M-Audi that I don't love. Well, okay, I don't love Healer too much, but I'm not sure what else would be good on it...? Regenerator is fantastic, but it doesn't do anything for M-Audi's partner, and mons such as him work best in 2v2 battles, not singles.

Overall Rating: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 / 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000


MEGA CAMERUPT I am really excited about this one. Camerupt's a bro, but it never had anything worth using, especially in Hoenn. It got Solid Rock later on, and better moves (Earth Power!) but it's not until now that it's better. I resent that its mega is not a full-evolution (just like Mawile, just like Sableye, just like Banette) but that aside, this is a neat camel dude-bro. At 20 speed, Mega Camerupt is going to be the fastest thing on the field after [insert Trick Room setter here] activates Trick Room (and of course, you need to run Protect on MC so he can mega evolve safely during the first turn and give the TR-setter time to set up). Speaking of the TR setter, Camerupt's Earthquake is hella powerful, so if your setter has Protect also (or flies/has Levitate? I've seen people with TR on Gengar, even tho Gengar isn't very good at it) you can spam Earthquake and Heat Wave at your foes. DON'T EVER USE MEGA CAMERUPT WITHOUT TRICK ROOM SUPPORT! I cannot emphasize this enough. Its 70/100/105 defenses are solid, but you don't want to be taking hits either way, especially if you're running Eruption (which you should). M-Cam will be a neat pogey to use, but play him to his strengths - go play with Mega Blaziken like a 10 year old noob if you want fast sweeping. Overall Rating: 9/10


MEGA ALTARIA FAIRY DRAGON QUEEN. The good news is that Altaria has one of the most unique typings in the game, and solid 75/110/105 defenses, with moves such as Roost and Cotton Guard to back them up. Not quite as good, but still quite good, are her 110/110/80 offenses, which means I was wrong about them making M-Alt a special sweeper. Also good news is M-Alt's Pixilate, which it can put to good use with Hyper Voice, giving it a bit more oomph. The bad news is that M-Alt is too balanced (Kingdra says hello) and that's never a good thing. I would never, ever, ever, EVER use Mega Salamance over Mega Altaria (or any mega Dragon, really) but almost everyone else will, especially since M-Sala now has 130 defense for no goddamn reason, plus Intimidate before mega evolving, and much better offenses. But then again I assume that if you've always liked Altaria (and you like its mega), you prefer to use more interesting mons than the typical powerhouses like Salamence. Overall Rating: 9/10


MEGA DIANCIE I'm all about the mega Fairies, aren't I? Let's be real, mega Grass is still Grass-type, and that's bad, and it will always be bad, and 10 years from now it'll still be bad, unless it's a certain Grass-Poison type that looks like a masked rose. But this is about M-Dian so let's get to that... Okay the truth is that I love her design, but I don't care for her stats. I wanted something more like 180 defenses (from Diancie's 150) not more offensive power. But if you like speedy offense, M-Dian will surprise you: 160/160/110 offenses is no joke, and its Diamond Storm and Moonblast will seriously fucking hurt, especially if Diancie has a +Speed nature with max Speed EVs (which you should). But of course, I won't be using M-Dian at all, just regular Diancie, which I actually like better looks-wise and stats-wise. Base offenses of 100 is more than good enough for me, and its otherwise bad HP of 50 is redeemed by her 150 defenses (which if you sort of balance out comes to something like 100/100/100 defenses). I still like M-Dian, but I prefer her without her mega stone. Overall Rating: 8/10


MEGA LOPUNNY If you really want to put me off a Pokemon that I like, give it an evolution (mega or otherwise) that makes it super-offensive. That really turns me off, because it's not interesting. It works with Emboar somehow, but I suspect his 110 HP (and low speed) has to do with it. But I have to admit that Lopunny deserves these changes, and you'd be stupid to not consider Mega Lopunny on your team. To go from 76 Attack to 136 Attack in one turn is fucking insane, and let's not forget that Lopunny was already fast to begin with (105 speed) but when it goes mega it becomes super-fast (135). I really hope she becomes OU through her mega, and that people take her seriously as a Pokemon (and I suspect they will, since that's the fastest Scrappy user there is). Her defenses are alright, but her low HP offsets them. All that being said, I don't plan to use M-Lop, or even Lopunny at this point (except for contests); it's not for me. I'll always love it and it'll always be one of my fave Sinnoh mons, but this is where we part ways. Overall Rating: 8.5/10


MEGA BEEDRILL Everyone's talking about it. The good news is that Mega Beedrill looks incredible, and I have every intention of trying this thing at least once. Even better news is the fact that Mega Beedrill's attack and speed are as high as the sky, even higher than Mega Salamence's which is insane. The bad news is that Beedrill still has 40 defense, so it'll be Accelgor 2.0, pretty much, and without the ability to hold a Focus Sash, I just don't see how this thing is going to be viable outside of furious Baton Passing of Iron Defense (or Cosmic Power). That being said, I'm sure people will find ways to use M-Bee because believe it or not even competitive battlers are tired of using the same ol' shite. Also, I hope that there's a Mega Butterfree, although I personally would prefer Mega Venomoth or Mega Vespiquen. :D Overall Rating: 7.5/10

1/2 ~a half~

Dearness, shed the tears you’ve stubbornly withstood here
Pureness, you’re too straight, I’ll throw a curve at you

If you face north, I’ll look to the south
Where your sighs go as you tremble a little

I don’t need tightly tied strings or promises
I want to test you, to see whether your magnetism will fade

I love you - putting it into words will bring you closer
Not one part of us is united - we haven’t become one

A half and a half, a broken sphere, it’s making me fidgety
(a d d i c t e d · t o · y o u)

If you look down I’ll look for a shooting star
I’ll become a firework to put colour in your cloudy eyes

There’s no brace to block the chipped walls of yoour heart
How many mistakes do I have to make to get rid of this hole?

I love you; if I can put it into words it’ll lighten my heart
If I lose sight of the twisted bridge between you and me

A half and a half, my feelings overflow, making me feel dizzy
(c o r r e c t · m y · s o u l)

Notice me, I don’t care if it’s a lie
I want you to throw away that convenient existence

I love you - putting it into words will bring you closer
Not one part of us is united, I want there to be a connection soon

I love you - if I can put it into words it’ll lighten my heart
If I lose sight of the twisted bridge between you and me

A half and a half, a broken sphere, it’s making me fidgety
(a d d i c t e d · t o · y o u)


Now, I know for a fact at least half my f-list is ignorant about who Tsukiko Amano is. This is very grave indeed. Tsukiko Amano is a Japanese indie-rock singer/songwriter. She's like the Björk meets P!nk of Japan. Her songs are usual rockish, sometimes punkish. She's very... unique. She's a shameless stan of Meg Ryan, Sharon Stone, Uma Thurman and Winona Riders. Lesbian punk-rock lady, y/y? Me, myself and I think so. Four of her albums were named after the actresses she so admires: Meg & Lion, Sharon Stones, Winona Riders and Uma Salmon. She is a fan of puns, especially in Japanese, and of minimal pairs (two words that sound otherwise the same except for one letter/sound). Her singles usually contain two songs whose names differ from each other solely by the first letter. For example, her single Same includes the songs 'Same' (shark) and 'Kame' (turtle). She is fond of animals, or at least has a huge number of songs named after animals, including those I just mentioned plus 'Chou' (butterfly), 'Fukurou' (owl), 'Karasu' (crow), 'Lion', 'Pigeon', 'Polar Bear', 'Ryuu' (dragon), Spider, and 'Zou' (elephant). Plus there's also two personal favourites of mine: 1) "Devil Flamingo", which she dedicated to me (don't laugh! it's true!) and 2) "Hakase to Kujaku" (PhDs and peacocks), where she talks about being in love with a professor who keeps peafowl in his yard. She also uses a lot of flower imagery in her song's lyrics as well as videos, especially flowers of Japan, like camellias and chrysanthemums.

Her motto in life is: If the end of the world comes tomorrow, I will plant an apple tree.

She's known for her deeply haunting lyrics like in 'Koe' (voice):

If you’re still alive, under the sea / I’ll cut off both my legs and become a fish / If you come close enough for me to fall into the depths / I’ll become a shadow, wandering the endless darkness...

and in 'Chou' (butterfly):

If I can’t hear you scream / I want you to crush me in your hand / while I can still call myself 'me' / Your arm holding me back becomes silent dust / I just looked up at the sky, quietly...

She also has strangely amusing lyrics like in 'Kame' (turtle):

The turtle splashed in its tank / The owner is a doddering old man / The turtle splashed in the tank / I beg to buy one too / Renovating the bathroom, trying to save as much money as possible / “I need to soundproof it too... by the way, is that girl crying?”

and in 'Devil Flamingo':

This world is just an endless circus in the air / Clowns tied up and dancing on one foot / This world is just an endless circus in the air / Devils wearing peach to hide their poison fangs

Four of her songs have been the theme songs of the Fatal Frame series:

> "Chō" for Fatal Frame II;

> "Koe" for Fatal Frame III;

> "Zero no Chōritsu" for Fatal Frame IV

> and "Noise" also for Fatal Frame IV


There's only 3 reasons why someone isn't a Tsukko (that's the nickname us fans gave her) stan:

* they don't like rock
* they have no taste
* they didn't know she exists


anyways, this is her:

IDK why but I swear it's an increasingly disturbing trend where out of two siblings one is right in the head and the other is a fuck-up. I won't mention them b/c lolpublic but my friends who have shitty siblings know who they are.

if Alex had a sibling they'd probably be on this list too.

I'm legit thinking of getting a Burn Book for Christmas. I'll just ask mom to get me a pink diary-looking thing, and I'll decorate it myself. No, but seriously. I'm seriously considering this. Something about having too much time on my hands plus feeling hateful as of late, lol. And how fitting, to get it on Christmas. Mostly RL people won't be in it tho, it'll be more like characters I hate, like Uriel from Supernatural. Also celebrities that I hate, such as Katy Perry and Rihanna, plus shitty people overall like the Kardashians. I'm gonna make this a life project tbh.

Next year is the year of the Snake, trololol.

I'd create a TDF one but 90% of the people that go there will be in it which kinda defeats the point.

And I'd make one online but I prefer a paper one because it makes it easier to draw on and shit, and wayyy more personal, o lawd. But I might make an online version anyway lol, we'll see. It'd be on Tumblr ofc.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=483475285006821&set=a.456449604376056.98921.367116489976035&type=1

So here are some interesting comments:

Joanna:
Yup! One of the fastest ways to end a conversation with me is to ask me what my sign is.

Kennon:
Well people like you are the problem. Just because you don't believe something doesn't mean we have to deprive the rest of the world of that subject.

Sera:
Ah yes, science, religion and mysticism are incompatible. That old yarn.

Rolando:
Lol every sign says the same thing, its just switched around each month . I really wonder how they come up with these readings :O (probably by gettin' high)

Ariel:
I'm a Gemini, and I just happen to have a lot of traits supposedly associated with Geminis. Of course, the actual explanation is that I'm like that anyway and the whole thing is just a coincidence.

Andy:
If you were to set aside your dogmatic attitude and look look dispassionately at astrology and, having examined it, found that there are observable phenomena and tendencies, would the lack of a model of how it operates cause you to throw out your observations? If so, that's not science.

Aldo:
What baffles me is the thought that people think they're removed from their environment. You cannot remove the mind from the body and the body from the environment, therefore to think we're uninfluenced by celestial bodies when the rest of the universe influences itself is silly. I'd rather say that I simply do not know.

Quinn:
The amount of people defending astrology in these comments saddens me. Go away pls, you obviously don't "fucking love science" if you're so into such an incredibly pseudoscientific ideology.

Sabreen:
FUCKING A, people who believe in horoscoped are mentally handicapped.

Angel:
Im Sagitarius and I believe in examining this concept a bit more.

Tava:
ever try looking into the science of astrology? Zoroaster did.. too bad all that has been lost. but if the moon can affect all the women on earth every month.. which it most certainly does, there is something to that. All the universe rings with music and you cannot hear or see that either.

Akash:
Astrology ain't shit dude

Sean:
Never understood why people actually WANT to believe this stuff. "One-in-a-million" is barely a compliment; astrology claims you're one-in-twelve.

Robert:
The fact of the matter is that your perception defines your reality. If you believe it then for you it is real. No one else may share your interpretation of the world around you, but, you're not ever fundamentally wrong you just have an un-popular interpretation of what you're perceiving.

Andy:
It's ok that you use the word "science" to defend an unwillingness to look at natural phenomena, but in some cases "science" is really "dogma." It makes exactly as much sense as, "The bible doesn't say anything about climate change, so it's just not true."

Paul:
It's amazing how long astrology has managed to remain in our culture in spite of its extraordinarily obvious nonsense.

Josh:
Nothing like the whiners who "fucking love science" but believe in bullshit like astrology with absolutely zero proof.

Mike:
if you don't believe, then your insecure and your imagination fails you, i feel bad and pity those who cant use their brain to unravel the beauty and euphoria that believing in something unknown and that they fear, everyone fears what they don't understand, you fail, your loss, try harder, sucks not being evolved

Natasha:
what's unfortunate is that things are automatically called bullshit when they can not be proven, but also disproven. with the relationship all physical manifestation of the universe shares, why could it not be possible? you don't have to believe it, but it's pretty ridiculous to be so definitive when it comes to the unknowable, which is why theists and atheists are pretty much exactly the same.

Jake:
Natasha, I really like your statement, but really a lot of people do actually believe astrology to be the same as science

James:
Jakes, I wouldn't put it on the same level as the hard sciences, but I do like that, once you make the single leap of faith that planetary bodies affect our personalities, the rest is just geometry.

Jason:
Aries here, I believe in astrology as far as personality types, strength, weakness etc. are concerned... but I find horoscopes to be largely bullshit. They tend to be far more generic, and once you a have a perceived idea of what you THINK is going to happen, you will either make it so or not, consciously or subconsciously. I see the signs as tools of personal reflection, not something to be used to attempt to predict the future!

Danielle:
Astrology is a science in itself and its scope extends far beyond mere horoscopes and personality traits. Any genuine scientists will know that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Be informed before writing something off.

Jason:
Some of the greatest scientific minds in history were also Astrologers. Look it up!

Deb:
Astrology was actually the first science... To study the stars and document in great detail the movement of stars and planets and live their lives by the cosmic structure. When studied, it actually is the reason for many of our systems and symbols on this planet. I love astrology AND astronomy.

Mark:
Lol!! So many people saying astrology is a science. I'm hopeful people are just confusing the terms astrology and astronomy!

Jason:
"Science begins with imagination my friends. Remember that." So do fairy tales. Science may begin with imagination, but it is immediately quantified by hypothesis, tested by experiments and supported by evidence. Astrology is none of the above.

Deb:
The moon is essential to our planet, and affects all of the water on earth. Humans are made up of 60% water. This is why women have a MONTHY cycle, the same as the moon cycles. If you don't thing these planets with HUGE amounts of energy and gravitational pull don't affect us, that's just absurd.

Chantelle:
Yes! Of course, in this world of nigh on seven billion souls there are, obviously, only twelve personality types! Why wasn't that more obvious?? Astrology is science in the same way that creationism is science- it's a crutch for people who can't think for themselves.

Jason:
I think a lot of the argument against Astrology comes from people who are TOO practically minded. Those people never make new discoveries in science, only refine discoveries made by others.

Loxfin:
Wow this just proves your strong christianity background / side. you know astrology has nothing to do with religion and is more based on astronomy. you know the scientific study of the stars in relation to a person's psychological, emotional and physical interaction with other human... If studying that is not science i don't know what it... hell it may even be able to predict who pushes the button. it is when you get people of faith involved do we get shit like horoscopes.

Nicole:
here's a lot more to astrology then many people think. It is surprisingly accurate. I think people should keep an open mind and test it out as I have. Most people I meet do line up with their sub and moon signs. Like someone already said the moon has a huge impact on life here on earth, why wouldn't the other planets in our solar system. It's really a very complex science. Keep an open mind.

Trudy:
If you've never taken the time to drop your ego and immerse yourself in the spirit realm and spend YEARS studying astrology, you shouldn't post this. Just saying.

Rachael:
This is very hateful and offensive, and so are many of the comments. No one is forcing you to believe astrology. No one said that it is 100% accurate/true, or that you have to accept all of it to accept any of it. I'm not even saying what I do or don't believe, here. But there are mysteries in this universe that we do not know the truth about, yet. Every day, science is discovering that things people used to scoff at are actually real. You act like creativity and imagination and speculation cannot exist in a person simultaneously with a love of true science...you compare people with open minds to mentally retarded people (showing how you are ableist as well as bigoted in other ways)...you alienate those who have a different experience of life...you alienate them from the scientific community. Shame on you. And honestly, if someone treated their girlfriend this way, she is better off without them because they are clearly controlling and probably abusive. That's a sick way to treat someone, just because you see things differently. That's bigotry.

Jason:
The very reason we're held together is the precise balance of gravity on this planet. This is why we look and move the way we do and not some other way. Is it so hard to believe that other bodies laying on the blanket of gravity in the relatively immediate vicinity might just have an effect on things so inconceivably small that they only exist in scientific theory? Let's not get started on the concepts of light and consciousness, and how that places a part in this "pseudo-science".

Felix:

For those saying astrology is science, to be open minded etc., you do realise there have been plenty of studies into Astrology and none have shown it to be anything more than pseudoscience? For example, people of different star signs have been supplied astrological summaries of their personality and usually rated them as very accurate, despite them all getting the same summary.

Leah:
I agree science is fantastic. I was raised by a biologist and have done many science courses in university. But I am constantly blown away by the arrogance and self righteousness of hardcore "scientists". You guys are promoting truth- perhaps present it in a way that doesn't insult those who may need to learn more about it and have beliefs beyond the dry logic you propagate. Open your minds, be creative, and accept that there is more to life than things that can be "proven/supported" by scienctific study. Here's a question- have you ever been in love? If so I dare you to quantify or qualify it using scientific methods. In my ideal world, science and spirituality (NOT religion) will be equally accepted. Only then will all our possibilites as human beings explode to the surface.

James:
It boggles my mind that people accept Astrology. It's so transparently stupid (and yes, that includes "real" astrology, not just newspaper horoscopes). Homeopathy makes more sense, and that's saying something.

Tim:
Just retarded humans making shit up again,no different to 'little green pixies live in my attic'.I never understand why certain things get given the time of day like christianity,ghosts or palmistry,you are a cunt if you believe in any of them.

Jason:
that's the beautiful thing about being science: if you want to debate it, present an argument with evidence and wait for the rebuttle. If you're theory is sound, or at least has some ground to it, people will hear you out. I must have read 200+ comments on this and the closest thing to a "reason" for believing in it is "science doesn't know everything". Sorry but if the lack of an explanation means whatever you imagine is correct, then that has some historical implications:
- America doesn't exist, it's just a giant sea monster
- The world is flat and is held up a big guy with it on his shoulders
- Headaches are caused by demons

Astrology has been around since before written language, given it's time frame for collecting evidence, you have 2 possible solutions:
A) it's a dud
B) Astrologists are incredibly lazy

Rachael:
Many genius scientists throughout history thought there was/might be something to astrology...when you say things like this, you are disrespecting them, as well as just being disrespectful in general. You are disrespecting those in the scientific community who do question and think creatively. You are alienating a large chunk of your community and putting off potential friends and allies. Not wise. A few years back, science snots were scoffing at the ideas about energy that they viewed as hogwash...now science is being able to measure it and finding out that a lot of that stuff was correct. Everything is made of energy. Energies effect one another. It isn't too far of a stretch to see that things within the same solar system, or universe, might influence each other. We don't understand it scientifically YET- but don't write it off completely...unless you don't mind looking like a jerk and an idiot when science does find a way to prove it...but don't mock those of us who choose to keep an open mind and be open to possibilities.

George:
But astrology is easily validated and accurate. Obviously it shouldn't be oversimplified. Don't just go by sun sign because that's like 1% of the total data. The whole natal chart must be done and interplanetary aspects need to be taken into account. I've done charts for an array of different people and it always works perfectly. It requires no faith at all, the data is what it is and it's true whether you believe it or not. Do some deep research before you discredit it. Try astro.com and cafeastrology.com for starters. Get the info before closing your mind. I'm tired of ignorant people saying bullshit when they don't know the facts.

Mariane:
this post is really stupid,imagination and dreams is what keeps making life interesting, life is sad and boring itself, retarded are those who lack of imagination. and judge others just because they dont think the way they do, i like science but i think imagination is way more interesting i can go any place i want and see anything i want.

Edward:
it always amazes me how many people (even those who are members of a science group on facebook) argue for the legitimacy of astrology. There is no objective evidence that astrology is accurate. There is plenty of objective evidence that astrology is ineffective, as people tend to agree with various traits that are attributed to certain "signs" regardless of which "sign" the trait is attributed to. The trick is the traits attributed to various signs are overwhelmingly positive, so people will be inclined to accept them. Astrology is not a science, but there is quite a bit of science involved in debunking it.

Pau:
Scientific friends, I am a scientist, and please, you do not have to like astrology, but at least respect it, otherwise, we will be the same as those who deny what they do not understand about us or our sciences.

Edward:
real science leads to research, peer reviewed studies, criticism, and often times practical results. Not unscrutinised, unreviewed, news paper columns written by people with no scientific background. Sorry astrology, if you want to be taken seriously, you're going to have to live up to the extremely high standards set by proper sciences.

Jason:
Astrology doesn't claim that any two signs definitely WILL or WILL NOT get a long or work out in a relationship.. it merely presents a estimation of the chances that you will work it out based on the personality traits presented.

Rickie:
You cannot say that astrology is bullshit...unless you've actually studied it.I have.I have a ton of books on the matter..Guess what?It holds water.you can even forecast events and their nature.Sydney Omarr is an astrologer employed by the U.S. government, that actually predicted J.K's death...you'd think PEOPLE WHO LOVE SCIENCE READ.

Zaynab:
Lol science is still catching up to what man has inherently known. How can something still in its infancy deny something that humans have utilized for centuries. I find it absurd that more studies haven't been done but yet science is blinded by the senses so we shall always have a disadvantage.

Rachael:
I'm not religious, personally I think religion is mind control. However, I think you should be aware of your responsibility as a representative of the science community: if you alienate people of different beliefs with your snobbery and put them off science (possibly for life), you will end up driving off the people who need science most (fundies, uneducated people, etc.) This is a step in that direction. You should be trying to be inclusive and draw people to science. Not make them feel unwelcome, and like they don't belong in the community.

Ceara:
Horoscopes in the news paper are not accurate anyone actually into Astrology would tell you that. And only basing things off someone's sun sign, which is the only bit of astrology most people seem know about themselves (ie girlfriend is a Capricorn-Sun sign), is very vague. Everyone's chart is like a finger print and unless you've actually studied Astrology then you really shouldn't talk badly about things you have zero knowledge on. That's no better then Creationist's dissing Evolution without actually studying it.

Sylvia:
there is a lot behind astrology. most people just don't study it enough to understand it. they remain ignorant to it & reject it for that same reason. you are not JUST your main sign. if that were true, there would be only twelve personalities in the world. we are a cluster of many different signs depending on which planet was in which constellation. i didn't believe it either until i seriously started studying it. its common knowledge that there are more crimes during a full moon because out effects your behavior so that alone just proves how much it does effect us. if they can effect our tides & everything else on our planet, to say it doesn't effect you is, again, a ignorant thing to say. now go ahead & complain that i'm wrong, stupid & have "offended" you. but unless you have studied up on it A LOT then u really don't care what you have to say.

Jason:
I've noticed a pattern with the people who are "believers" in Astrology merely claiming their belief and trying to shed some light on it, while most arguing against it are just going "nu uh you're stupid!". Astrology might not be your cup of tea, sure. But we observe plenty of things that are attempted to be explained by religion or spirituality and not by science. Has there been a scientific study done about why people behave morally? Good will? Some would say that it's because those things facilitate progress.. but what's the point of progress? Why do we try to move "forward"? What good does it do us? Where, scientifically or mathematically, is there room for sentience or consciousness? Wouldn't things go more smoothly without it? Can there be an existence without experience? There are many things science has yet to answer, but does that mean they should be written off?

Sylvia:
astrology has absolutely nothing to do with religion. that's the dumbest thing I've heard on here so far. you aren't worshipping anything, you are mapping out your personality. do your birth charts & get an astrology book. enlighten yourselves.

Frankie:
Great minds studied astrology for thousands of years, great scientific minds

Rachael:
I have no problem with skepticism. I have a problem with mockery and snobbery. I am a skeptic, too. My skepticism goes both ways, so it is a more equal, fair, and scientific skepticism...I am simultaneously skeptical about astrology having any basis in reality and skeptical of dismissing it as not possibly having any basis in reality. This means I have no bias...which is how scientists are supposed to think...a scientist who aims to disprove the existence of something is not being truly scientific. You are supposed to allow for variables, even unseen, and human error, and you are supposed to experiment without a projected outcome and accept the data as it comes to you. We do not have a way to prove or disprove astrological influence as of yet. It looks incredibly foolish to mock something you cannot concretely prove or disprove. THAT is what I mean by having an open mind. If you don't get it, you haven't been paying attention, or you just don't want to get it.

Caroline:
I also want to add that Astrology is the FATHER of Astronomy. FACT.

As for those who minimizes or disregards Astrology, you have no position on the matter if you have not studied it in depth. And I mean, IN DEPTH, not just your Sun, Moon, and Rising signs, but also ASPECTS and comparisons between natal and progressive charts, for instance. You have no position if all you do is weigh your position based on literature written by those who do not believe in reincarnation, who do not believe in a Higher Power other then themselves, or who bases their opinion drawing from literature written by incredibly biased scientists who never even delved into the understanding of Astrology by becoming a student first and foremost.

All planets have vibrational fields. It interacts with the Universe. Humans have vibrational fields, and this is scientific and medical fact. Even energy healing has been proven to be beneficial in complimentary alternative medicine. It is ignorant to say that what happens millions of miles away does not have an effect on our psyche and physical bodies throughout our lives. In doing so, then you are refuting the theories that should the Moon ever be destroyed, that it would create massive changes to our magnetic poles here on Earth, resulting in violent, environmental changes to our seas and land, as well as the affect it would have on human behavior. Studies have already proven that during full moons, violent crimes and crazy behavior among human beings, and even animals, increases. There may not be a way to study the entire scope of these vibrations directly as they are unseen, much like Dark Energy and Dark Matter, but to those unbelievers, I bet you are not doubting that Dark Energy or Dark Matter exists. Just because you cannot see it in place, does not mean you cannot observe its effects.

Frank:
I feel that sometimes people get confused by Belief and Understanding. A lot of people are so quick to slag astrology when they actually know nothing about it. It is so much more than putting everyone in one out of 12 boxes. We are so much more complex than that. Astrology has been totally exploited and abused, this sacred practice has been destroyed and spat on and been widely misunderstood. The problem is when it faces science today and this debate begins, that astrology is not a science.. Its hair pulling for both sides.. Because astrology isn't a science, not in the world of science that we have today... Its, dare i say, beyond today's science.. Because it involves Vibrations that we are yet to understand and explain in a coherent way, but they are vibrations that have been running through us since the beginning of time. And this is where i feel that science today lets us down, they are Limited and unwilling to explore deeper, Its the human psych that we're talking about here, ya'll really think its going to be that easy to crack and lay out in a perfect little calculation? This guy is pretty cool though..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvzsjcBtx8 This is the closest iv seen to explaining the vibrations and it kinda makes sense as humans are made of around %65-90 water, and the Moon has a huge pull on the sea so why the blazes would it not have a pull on us, and if that is so who's to say the other planets are not involved.... Astrology should not be used for prediction as that is just evil and screws up peoples lives, We make our own destiny! Astrology is a map, it should be used to understand ourselves and each other and for us to remember that our lives are in our hands and that we should take responsibility for who we are!

Michael:
It's amazing how so many people say it very wide and could apply to anyone or they may say that it doesn't apply to them. But do you even fully know what astrology is? If i asked for a birth chart, would you understand what i was asking for? Before you can say something is bullshit or incorrect data then please, learn everything you can about the topic. Otherwise, your analysis is bullshit.

Matthew:
I don't think astrology holds any merit but I do think it's a lot of fun. What's the matter, you can't have fun anymore? To all the people relentlessly bashing astrology: get over yourself and lighten up.

Eirik:
I find it incredibly ironic when what I would call your typical scientific atheist goes off about how unreliable the zodiac is for fortune telling. You're supposed to learn and make informed judgements based on evidence... yet I never hear anyone say: "You know, the zodiac was never intended to be used to predict your personal future using your birthday. It's an old anthropomorphic clock from when we used to tell time using celestial features, which evolved into a form of governance for different cults and trades, the version most Europeans are familiar with migrated from Egypt to Rome to become the foundation of the Roman Catholic Church." No, it's always: "Oh we proved it doesn't work in a study." Way to understand a fraction of the issue, and focus on the most irrelevant part. I'll be waiting when you figure out that every aspect of your society still operates on this old system, including science.

Artur:
"In the last few years there has been a steady spurt in the number of parents who insist on elective caesarean to gain a better horoscope for their babies. However, I never encourage this", says Dr. Kalyani Devi, a leading gynaecologist in Kochi. "The trend has risen to such an alarming level that husbands of some of our patients give prefixed time for the caesareanto get their elective star".

And there it is, lawl. Food for thought, I guess, though at the end of the day I'mma still do my thing. WTF @ people trynna manipulate birth time. That's so fucking dumb. But inb4 "astrology is the reason parents have more babies in Dragon years and/or want babies born at certain times" argument, let me remind you that SCIENCE is a manipulative little bitch just the same. In fact, this isn't even about astrology or science; it's about people being manipulative little cunts. If they had their way, their kids would be blue-eyed and with excellent mathematical skills, an affinity for music (esp. piano) and six feet tall. One day, we'll definitely be able to manipulate (i.e. more than we can now) unborn children, and it'll be done via science, not astrology. Demonizing either astrology (or New Age shit in general) and/or Science is utterly stupid; we ourselves are the demons, and they have downsides because they are an extension of our minds and spirits.

I was browsing through my foe list, and I found Earth Listener's (username: Chimera) charming forum profile.

Here are the entities that live in her head/spirit/pussy/idk:


Entity #1 is called "Aquasarius". It's a male sea serpent, and its daemon, C'etuskunsigha, is a female common Remora.

Entity #2 is called "Carven-Risen", and it's a female werewolf. Its daemon is a male thylacine called Zitzeelu.

Entity #3 is a bigender mollusk + shark (da fuq is on her biscuit) called "Earth Listener". The daemon is called Danteberos, and it has no gender (Earth Listener probably took it) and it's a white sturgeon.

Entity #4 is a male DEMON called "Kardegray", whose female DAEMON, called Taaskeenmori, is a perentie.

Entity #5 is a female "adlet" (wtf's that) called "Lunatami", and she has a male daemon who is a Norwegian forest cat called Brunmalkin.

Entity #6 is some kind of female feline lifeform by the name of "Mist Weaver" whose daemon is a red-bellied lemur of the female kind, called Weaveree.

Entity #7 is called Pantairin", a female deer, who has a rabbit daemon (English Spot, to be precise) and this daemon is male and called Renge.

Entity #8 is a male unicorn named "Spiridon", and he has a male daemon called Ophionius, who is a corn snake.

Entity #9 is "Zeoriel", a male harpy with a male purple heron daemon called Bennuba.


In the words of Nicki Minaj:

quack quack to a duck and a chicken too put the hyena in a freakin' zoo!

1. Is there gold in the village?

2. Where are the Maluku/Moluccas/Spice Islands?

3. What is your astrological sign?

4. What is the capital of Latvia?

5. Are English and Icelandic related languages?

6. Camels are related to which popular South American animal(s)?

7. The common peacock or blue peacock is native to what country?

8. The biggest and most gorgeous island in the Caribbean is?

9. The historical capital of Japan was?

10. Are lions native to Africa exclusively?

11. What is the currency of South Korea?

12. Does the term "Australian languages" include English? (hint: this is a trick question)

13. What is the largest and most important river in North America?

14. The elements known as "alkali metals" are reactive to which common substance?

15. Maize and cocoa are native plants of which region of the world?

16. The full name of the author of Don Quixote is?

17. Is there a correlation between bio-diversity and linguistic diversity? If yes, name 2-3 regions of the world known to have languages within it as different from each other as Spanish and Japanese.

18. Which island off the coast of Hispaniola (Haiti + Dominican Republic) was a popular hideout for pirates and corsairs?

19. What kind of scientist was Marie Curie? What kind of scientist was her husband?

20. Where in the world can you find vampire bats?

If you can't answer most of these questions without Google or Wikipedia...

...you is a dumbass motherfucker in Prince's book.

Pencils ready, everynyan. Your exam begins... now. Go!

comments r screen'd to prevent le cheating (I don't trust non-Gryffindors not to cheat :3)

tomorrow after midnight they will be unscreened.

EDIT: since there's only 3 replies thus far I shall extend the deadline to tomorrow (Friday) noon, lololo. :> I'm not assuming everyone will fill out the damn thing, but I don't want to assume that they won't. :P

I have been inspired by the MLP episode, "A Canterlot Wedding" to write the wedding night of Shining Armour and Princess Cadence. This has in part been inspired by a certain friend we all know and love losing their v-card, but not giving the deets about it. I must warn you, this will read like one of G.R.R.M.'s terrible written sex scenes, so heads fucking up.

Also, this isn't rated PG, it's rated PJ (Pure Jackfuckery). So feast your eyes on the terribleness of it all as I write my very first smut fic ever. After you read your eyes will bleed and I will go down in history as the most plain, boring, and horrible smut writer of all time. In my defense, though, I've never written one. :D This is in a spoiler tag, but there aren't any spoilers in it. It takes place after the wedding in the episode.


[[t]Rolling in the Deep]

Once upon a time... oh, fuck it.

Right after their wedding, Shining Armour and Princess Cadence got down to business.

"I can't wait to get into your pants!" he told her. Amused, she said, "Pants? I'm not wearing any!" They both laughed. Kissing ensued, French and otherwise. And then some more. And then some. Eventually they started to grope each other with their hooves (which were sparkly clean, since a famous pony named Mr. Clean had given them a magic eraser that erases all dirt... magically). "You know what? Let's go outside!" she suggested. "Mmm whatever you want baby". Their home was on the outskirts of Canterlot, fairly secluded, yet not too far from the city. They headed into some bushes behind their homes, running about à la Simba and Nala.

"I think this is what they call foreplay, Disney-style? Catch me if you can!" she yelled as she ran further and further away from their home and Canterlot, heading into a moonlit forest. He chased after her, using his unicorn magic to divinate her location; before he was captain of the royal pony army, he had studied Equestrian Divinology thoroughly, which is how he foresaw himself becoming captain... She was hiding behind an avocado tree. "Gotcha!" he said as he sneaked up behind her. "Eeek!" she snickered. "Did you know?" he began telling her. "The ancient Aztecs considered avocados to be fruits of fertility, since they're shaped like testicles". She smiled. "And you know, I'm thirsty for something of yours and it's not green...", he said as he began to go down on her.

By lucky happenstance, as if this were some ridiculous adult romance novel, they were on a forest clearing by a lake, the full moon shining brightly. She lay on the sweet grass, moaning as he licked her pussy, drinking in the sweet honeywine that flowed from it. In fact, it wasn't just flowing. It was overflowing. Like a fountain. A marvelous fountain of never ending sweet wine, which he drank till he had his fill, using his unicorn magic to prevent so much as a drop from falling to the ground instead of into his mouth. Minutes later, satisfied, he smiled at her and whispered into the ear, "Your turn now, Princess".

He spread his legs, revealing his horsedick. The pony princess bent to her task, sucking it and licking it and ramming her tongue around its edges. Occasionally, she'd lick his balls as if they were gelato, giggling like a schoolpony as she recalled from her Italian class that in that language, ice cream scoops are called "palle", meaning (literally) "balls". Not being able to help it, she stopped sucking his dick and started laughing uncontrollably. "ICE CREAM BALLS!" Taken by surprise, Shining Armour blurted "¿Qué?" She smiled. "Never you mind! Let me try this..." she said, as she reached for his cock. She then grabbed his dick and put it between her mare-tits.

And boy, did them titties start rubbing that stallion cock in all of the right ways. Sweet Lord Jesus in Heaven once got such a dick massage himself from Mary Magdalene - one night, after all that shaking and crying about love and forgiveness and dicksucking and sinning, they both went at it while the Twelve Apostles (yes, all twelve) watched and jacked off, which ended in Judas coming accidentally on Jesus' face. Of course, nobody ever wrote about *that* night. But Princess Cadence took that tittyfucking to the next level, rubbing his cock even faster, using her unicorn magic. She knew he was minutes away from coming, when all of a sudden she stopped. Can you say c-o-c-k-t-e-a-s-e? He collapsed on the ground for a moment, breathing heavily, but smiling. "Shall we get to the main dish?"

She opened her legs and braced herself for Shining Armour's hung cock which gave off a strange virginal glow, having never been in a pony-cave before. "Excalibur is ready for you, my love", he said, hard as a diamond. "It... has a name? Oh my..." said Princess Cadence as she giggled. Obviously, being a princess and all, she had never head of dicks having names. But Excalibur was just perfect: not too big and not too small, adorned with golden curly hairs, a gorgeous ruby-coloured head and the two most round amber-coloured stallion balls any pony eyes had ever seen... actually, nobody had ever seen balls like these, since it's not as if anyone had ever seen Shining Armour's balls before... except Twilight Sparkle (by accident, of course!)

Since she was a v-pony, never having had a horsedick up her fillypussy, he thoughtfully started rubbing his ding-ding-dong against her klit-klit-klot to get more of that sweet princessly pussysweet honeywine flowing. Slowly but surely the vralala became receptive to the ding-ding-dong and Shining Armour went in. "I'm going in, hmm..." he grunted. She moaned, talking in between breaths. "Oh là là dieu au ciel qu'est-ce que c'est? Ton dindin-don est chez moi, j'y peux pas! O merde.... SWEET FUCKING CELESTIA PUSSYFEASTING ON HER SISTER LUNA!!!!" she screamed as Excalibur reached the bottom of the Lady of the Lake's lake. "Does it hurt too much? We can switch positions..." She mmhm'd in agreement.

He laid himself down on the grass, dick sparkling in the moonlight like something out of a horribly cheese and badly written vamppony novel... what was it called now? "Twilight Sparkle and the Breaking Dawn", was it? Something like that; all the fillies were getting their fill of it these days, it was rather epidemic. "I like a mare on top", he said to the princess. "Well, then, darling, don't mind if I do..." she said coyly, and proceeded to zero in on his cock. Having clamped it, she began to ride it like a true pony princess. It was much more pleasurable this way. Riding and riding she went on, throughout the night, until finally he gave a particularly un-stallion grunt and screamed "I'M COMINGGG!!!" His silvery jizz burst into her sea-cave, filling it up. "Mmm hmm!" she said. "That was something, wasn't it?" Shining Armour smiled, nodding. Using her unicorn magic, she telekinesis'd the silvery cum out of her hole. "Sorry darling, no colts until we're 5 years married at least." He looked slightly disappointed.

Smiling deviously, she gazed into his eyes. "Are you up for round two?" He swallowed. "R-round two?" "Why, yes, of course. Like Ursula the Draconequus says to Ariel in The Little Merfilly, 'You can't get something for nothing, you know!'" Not knowing what exactly she had in mind, he asked her. "What do you mean?" Smiling so wide her face started to resemble Julia Roberts, Princess Cadence used her unicorn magic to summon a curious-looking golden jewelbox. She opened it up and pulled out a strap-on dildo, as black as the night sky, or maybe as black as Luna's pussyhole. Maybe even darker. "Whoa!" yelled Shining Armour. "You want to put that... in me...?!" "Darling, you will like it, I promise. There is nothing more divine than getting your prostate entertained by a female. Rest assured, I will be gentle. I will take your virgnity as you have taken mine." He began to protest, "But I..." She raised her voice. "SILENCE! On your back! Spread your legs. Wider. I SAID WIDER!" Too tired to fight her, he did as told. "Good boy. Now, I will restrict your movement with my unicorn magic", she continued. "If you try to so much as fight it, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you." He whimpered, agreeing.

Gently massaging his ass with some sparkly lube Fluttershy had given her as a wedding present, she started probing his arse with her dildo. "Mmm" he moaned. "See? You're already liking it", she said with delight. A few minutes later, she told him, "Okay babe, I think Black Lady is ready for you." "You gave it a name?" he asked. "Of course! Yours had a name, didn't it?" "Yeah, but mine's the real..." She raised her voice again. "SILENCE! How dare you suggest my dick isn't real! In the name of Nightmare Moon, I'll punish you!" "Waaait, no, I didn't mean..." he started. "Too late, Wiseman/Death Phantom, I'm going in!" And she did, she really did. Black Lady penetrated his virgin stallion arse, and he began making un-pony noises, half in pleasure, half in pain, as she thrusted in and out of his Negaverse, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. "HOLY CHIBI USA RIDING HELIOS' DICK, I'M COMINGGG!!!" she screamed as loudly as she could. Confused, Shining Armour was about to ask her what the hell that meant, when she pulled out her dildo and began to ejaculate on his back. "Holy shit, this dildo has cum?!" Groaning and moaning, she replied, "Yes... of course... unicorn magic... you know... duh"

Having successfully taken each other's virginity, Princess Cadence and Shining Armour both rested on the grass, gazing into each others eyes. Virginity-taking was such a tiresome affair...


Then out of fucking nowhere Pinkie Pie showed up for no fucking reason whatsoever, balloons and streamers appearing out of the wazoo, just like her. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE PINKIE?! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?!" they both exclaimed, startled. "WERE YOU WATCHING US FUCK THE WHOLE TIME?!?!" She ignored them and went on about her usual business, hopping around some trees in the typical Pinkie fashion, singing "Rolling in the Deep" by some non-pony artist called Adele. ♪ You're gonna wish you~♪ Never had met me~♪ Tears are gonna fall~♪ Trolling in the deep~♪ ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ And she was gone as randomly and suddenly as she had appeared, her voice echoeing in the forest... ♪ you're gonna wish you~♪ never had met me~♪ tears are gonna fall~♪ trolling in the deep~♪



dedicated to: to all my friends, especially those who recently lost their virginity and/or discovered a fetish about their boyfriend and/or watched a woodpecker peck a man's wood-covered dick~ you know who you are, and I know what you did last night ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼

written by: A Dachshund called Strüdel, An Anti-Hero by the name of Deadpool, An Earth Pony named Pinkie Pie, and a Fairy-Troll formerly known as Prince. ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼






I feel sorry for the man that makes the mistake of falling in love with me or having sex with me. You're gonna wish you never had met me... tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep. :D