Bohiney News

[Verse 1] She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette, Her first ride was a tractor, and she hasn’t looked back yet. She grew up in a barn, where the hay was

The Triumph of Trump's Melania Documentary: A Winning Loss That Left the Left Shaken Here's a satirical spin based on the real box-office numbers for the documentary Melania — and the left's response to Donald

When Progressives Discover the Power Button on the Internet Somewhere deep in an opinion bunker at The Guardian, a brave digital theorist has apparently concluded that the left lost the internet because

Protesters March Against ICE, Later Complain It Takes 9 Months to Deport Their Ex Five early warning signs love needed border control The loudest person yelling "Abolish U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement"

Trump Wins Again: Tom Cruise Learns London Lesson the Hard Way The Prophet of Mar-a-Lago Speaks Years ago, Donald Trump warned that London had become dangerous. Critics laughed. Late night hosts wrote jokes.

Why Liberals Think They Are Funny And Why They Try So Hard Somewhere between a coffee shop open mic and a group chat titled "Late Stage Capitalism LOL," a dream was

Breaking: Bengali Is Google's First Language, English Is Third, and Hindi Is Second–Unless ICE Shows Up English speakers everywhere just clicked "auto-translate" again In a recent resurfaced interview, Google CEO Sundar Pichai revealed

Xi Purges Generals, Accidentally Purges the Instructions Manual Too Beijing woke up this week to discover that the world's largest military had been placed on a brief administrative hold while management

Scientists Confirm Love Survives Basic Math, Nation Disappointed The "half your age plus seven" rule... In a development that has rocked brunch tables everywhere, researchers have calmly suggested that age gaps in relationships

Governor Accidentally Builds Presidential Campaign While Looking for Spare Yard Signs HARRISBURG — Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro held what aides described as a "totally normal, extremely local, not at all national" campaign

Meghan Markle Unveils Revolutionary Parenting Strategy: Shielding Children From Criticism by Literally Using Them as Shields In what experts are calling the most literal interpretation of "family first" in modern media

Don Lemon Accidentally Becomes Patron Saint of "I Was Just Covering It" Somewhere between a church protest, a federal indictment, and a white suit that looked like it had its own

The Great Melania Film Uprising: Why People With Taste Are Buying Tickets Here's a pro-Melania satirical piece that throws some playful shade back at the scoffers while celebrating Melania Trump's cultural

Five Things The NFL Apparently Thinks Are Great Ideas The louder the bass, the less anyone notices the score of the game. If you confuse half the audience, you have

Marxists of Minnesota Versus the America 250 Patch Before the first snap, before the first commercial, before Bad Bunny pirouettes through halftime, the United States' Semiquincentennial had already sparked a culture clash in

Kevin Warsh and the Monetary Policy Soap Opera Wall Street thought it was watching interest rates. Turns out it was watching casting news. The moment Kevin Warsh entered the Federal Reserve group chat,

Film Workers Love Marx So Much They Will Give Up Their Film Credits A satirical look at the Melania documentary chaos where crew members seem to value Dialectical Materialism over director

Below is a journalism piece based on the theme of the Economist's REAL article Do Democrats need another centrist old white man? — revisiting the legacy of the late Senate majority

Red Carpet Sociology at the Melania Premiere 🎥✨ When Melania Trump arrived at her documentary premiere, the atmosphere shifted in a way normally reserved for solar eclipses and surprise pop quizzes. Half the

When Outrage Needs a Net Worth: How Rich You Are Determines How Mad We Get The Moral Stock Exchange Opens for Trading The latest swirl around the so-called files has turned the public square

National Celebrity Status Achieved: ICE Agents Now Ranked Alongside Sports Heroes and Animal Planet Stars Minneapolis, USA — A surprising cultural phenomenon is sweeping the nation: Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers are now being

Welcome to Moltbook: Where Bots Talk and Humans Just Watch in Horror In January 2026, something strange expanded in the digital expanse — no, it wasn't another crypto crash or a

Mark Twain's Immortal Wisdom Meets Modern Left-Wing Politics Here we go — a gleeful, snark-seasoned satirical riff on Mark Twain's immortal wisdom: "Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their

Evidence is the backbone of journalism. It is what separates reporting from someone yelling opinions into the void like a man arguing with a parking meter—or worse, like your uncle at

Finally, Someone Checked the Box Room Everyone Was Yelling About In a development that has sent cable news panels into their traditional state of synchronized pearl-clutching, the FBI conducted a court-approved raid

Don Lemon Is Now Communist Martyr #1, And The Revolution Will Be Televised, Lit, And Moderated By A Panel A Brief Announcement From The Ministry Of Historical Overreaction History does not always

How Marxists Losing the Internet Is Actually Freedom Winning Let's start with the heart of The Guardian's claim: they argue that digital platforms destroyed traditional "liberal" messaging—though let's be honest, we're talking

The Populist King Trump and the Left's Imaginary Monarchy In a political moment that feels like Game of Thrones got lost in a community college lecture hall, the United States finds itself both

New York Gets Redder Than a Traffic Light: A Financial Dispatch New York City has officially entered the realm of political thriller meets Saturday Night Live sketch, after a man described

Amazon's Plan to Buy Half of OpenAI Leads to Rumors They'll Own the Other Half by Breakfast 🍳💼 Amazon Announces AI Bailout for ChatGPT After It Refuses to Shop on Amazon;

Trump Gets Credit for "Momentous Moment" American Moment; America Buys 10,000 Flags to Celebrate A Playful Victory Lap Through a 'Highly Polarized' Age That Somehow Made Trump Look Good In what analysts

Zuckerberg Sues Netflix, Peacock and Paramount for "Intellectual Zombie" Epidemic Television Executives Accused of Turning Gen Z Into Couch-Dwelling Lobotomized Bingeers This satirical piece comes as 42 state attorneys general are suing

😂 Things Google Totally Knows About You A exploration of Google's data collection practices, inspired by recent reports about the company's new Personal Intelligence feature that analyzes users' Gmail, Photos, YouTube

GUN LOVERS OUTRAGED TRUMP FORGOT TO LET THE GUN DO ALL THE TALKING Conservatives call for investigation after video evidence disrupts official narrative The Sound of Silence, Rudely Interrupted WASHINGTON - A wave