Reflections

I've been reflecting recently regarding my life and where it has taken me.

Almost 2 1/2 years ago I moved to Seattle to start my grown-up life as an accountant fresh out of school. In the next 3 weeks am packing up my life and moving back to Utah. I've had the opportunity to transfer to the Salt Lake Office with Ernst & Young and decided after much deliberation to take it. I am excited, yet nervous, for new beginnings...again.

Reflecting on my life in Seattle, I am not 100% sure what brought me here and why this was the place to be other than it was right. Nothing major has happened while I have been here--no life altering event. It has been the small things that has made being in Seattle the place I've needed to be for the past 2 1/2 years. The difficult situations and trials that I've faced that made me a stronger, more Christ-like person. The friendships I've built with wonderful people whom I will miss so much. The co-workers that made the daily grind bearable. Being able to spend time building a relationship with my brother. Becoming a strong and independent woman. And most importantly, continuing to developing a deep trust in my Savior that no matter what life brings, there is a plan for me.

A major theme that has been reocurring in my life is that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and that He has a plan for me. I'm not good at change. I am a worry-wart and I struggle when life isn't predictable. But, I have a Savior who knows ME and is always there for me to help me through the trials as that path unfolds. I don't know where my life leads in the future, but as I reflect on my past and my experiences I've had, I start to see how that plan has shaped me and who I am. I know that as I put my faith and trust in my Savior, He will lead me by the hand.

So, in three short weeks, I say goodbye to Seattle. I will miss it...dearly! I would not trade the experiences I've had for anything. Yet, I look forward to change. I look forward to what my Father in Heaven has in store for me and bolster up my faith and trust that He will lead me where I need to be.

So, I am reflecting on new beginnings and am trying to enjoy the journey as I see the plan for me continue to unfold.

Monumental

Today is one of those monumental days in my life of an accountant - the offical two year anniversary since beginning my career in public accounting.



It is a day of celebration, or at least it should be. But, somehow, at the same time I have feelings of sadness and confusion. How did I get here? Why? And, what's next?

Although it has been a hard road, I am still here. Overworked and underpaid, but still kicking. I've always considered two years to be THE hurdle. My goal has always been to earn my CPA and get a couple of years of experience. Could I actually survive two years? Well, I have. I've begun to wonder if those like me who are still here are really to be applauded and congratulated or if I should be scolded for not having the guts to get out and move on. I used to read those emails about people leaving the firm and think, "Man, they just couldn't hack it." Now when I read those emails, a pang of jealousy sweeps over me.

Part of the problem is I feel like I've been driven like cattle for the last 5 years since I began the accounting program at BYU. It is like a big conspiracy. I didn't know the slightest thing about the industry before then. Yet, the path into public accounting is like a door that is wide open with neon lights flashing above it that can be seen for miles away. It is like there is no other option. And, after being herded for so long, I don't even know what it is like to turn the knob on a new door and open it myself.

It is easy to become comfortable. I don't know how one begins to feel comfortable working 500 hours of overtime every year. Yet, somehow, leaving work around 6pm feels like leaving work early. A conversation with a fellow co-worker this week began around 6:45pm and ended with, "If I get off early, I'll call you." When and how did 7pm become early in my brain? It took her pointing out to me that that phrase was wrong before I even noticed it was wrong. Obviously, I've somehow become comfortable with said overtime. Calculating it out, I even earn about $5 less per hour of my life due to the firm milking me for all I'm worth.

It all comes down to this--I survived two years because I am lazy. And to top it off, they reward this laziness by offering me a promotion and dangling a bonus over my head. And somehow it is working for the time being. Granted, my survival that far wasn't all due to laziness or lack of better options, it did take some sort of motivation to make it here, but I'll say this...my motivation is fading fast.

Mind you, the experience I've gained, I probably wouldn't trade. I wouldn't change the path I've taken or people I've met. I've learned so much and accomplished a huge goal in my life and really am quite happy I've made it this far. But, now that I've reached my goal, the big question that remains...what's next? Staying with EY? Hair school? Teaching? Or, something entirely unexpected? Again, something I don't know. I'm trying to figure out how to open that door. However, I will say that something is in the works and a change may be on it's way in some way, shape, or form.

Montana, Here I Come

Well, in about eight hours I head off to Missoula, Montana. Why am I going to Montana of all places you might ask? Well...nothing that exciting. Just work. Tax returns and more tax returns. Will it ever end? I guess I hope not; it IS what keeps me employed.

Round two of layoffs for the Pacific Northwest area at my firm were on Tuesday. It was a rough week. Luckily none of the Seattle tax folks were "separated", "will be continuing their careers outside of the firm", or were part of the "headcount reduction" as management calls it. Why can't they just call it what it is? Nonetheless, I survived this one. Hopefully, another round won't follow in a few months.

So, me and a team of about six others will be out in Missoula for the next three to four weeks. I will be doing the tax return for a mine. It will be a different experience. Have you ever heard of "reclamation costs"? I hadn't, but I will be very familiar with them after this project. In case your curiosity is going wild wondering what the heck it means, it is the cost associated with filling back in the hole that was so strategically dug. Exciting stuff, huh? I'm probably just speaking Greek.

I also came down with some sort of illness Thursday. Talk about rotten timing. I am likely to infect my entire team out in Montana.

While I am out in "Big Sky Country" maybe I will get a chance to see some of this supposed sky and escape the Seattle rain for a few weeks. So, I checked the weather forecast...snow this weekend. I guess not.

The biggest perk of the whole project is that we get to fly back on the weekends. For me, that means I am going home to Utah a couple of the weekends instead of coming back to Seattle. Nothing against Seattle, but who doesn't enjoy a trip home on the firm?

Farewell Seattle for the month of April. Too bad I have to pay rent for an unoccupied room. See you in May.

Special Delivery

I've had my eye on this picture of the Salt Lake Temple for a while now. I splurged and bought it just a few moments ago. I'm pretty excited and can't wait for it to arrive.

Operation: Sanity

I am such a tight-wad when it comes to spending money (I inherited that from my dad). But, during busy season, a part of that goes out the window, because I am somehow able to justify spending $15/day to park downtown instead of riding the bus.

I tell myself it is for my sanity, but $300 per month hardly seems worth it to be in a cubical that I am spending way to much time in to begin with...