Hey folks. Posting this on LiveJournal because it was forever ago that I sat in Tom and Dan's living room and set up my first LJ post. I thought it would be fitting to put it here.
Dan, you were always such a wonderful guy. Ever since the day we first met so long ago in the mid 90s, I've always thought of you as one of my breakout friends. One friend who I would have forever. And so, I thought I'd write my thoughts down of our early days and the kind of fun we had.
Way back when, we used to belong to an early Internet chat/RP site called FDCMuck. It was Disney themed. You would chose a character from the Disney universe and interact with other characters. Lots of us grew to have many friends there. We would chat all the time and experience the new world wide web and Disney themed things. I was super into The Lion King at the time and so I had created a lion character that I could interact with. I believe Dan was Zazu, although I could be conflating that with our meeting on another MUCK called TLKMuck which was strictly Lion King themed.
At any rate, we talked and eventually, after I had got my drivers license and a car, went down to the big wide world of Chicago from Madison, WI. We first met up at Six Flags Great America, of which Dan worked at (afterward?). We had a lot of fun, a bunch of us, in the cold mornings. The common theme was hot cocoa. But it was my first adventure out of my safe place of Madison.
After that, I went to visit him later that year during winter to go up to Minneapolis for a trip to see a bunch of TLKMuckers. My first "fur meet" of sorts. A huge adventure, my parents didn't want me to drive down in the snow and so they drove me down. It was probably a good thing too because they got into an accident on the way back up to Madison. We woke up the next day after sleeping in the same bed (hey, I and he didn't know anything about our sexuality at the time) and set off in his car. I forget what it was, but it was some 80's Lincoln. Big.
We spun out soon after setting off due to the icy roads and damaged his muffler. But! We were not deterred and drove up to Minneapolis anyway with a muffler falling off and many things we used to try to tie it back up.
Was a strange and wonderful meeting. Got to talk to all sorts of people way older than me, all super into that movie. We met at the Mall of America. Big giant mall. We ate at a Rainforest Cafe. We drove back. It was fun.
Later, I made an attempt to go to college. This was about when I was figuring out my sexuality. I drove to Chicago a few times during that one semester I managed to take and met a bunch of Chicago folks along with Dan. To this day I know so many more people because of him. And snogged the crap out of someone who shall remain nameless.
I had a tremulous few more years, going out to Baltimore to live with yet another friend of mine from TLKMuck and living with him while he went to school. Didn't quite work out as I had hoped but at least that guy is more successful now than he would have been with me around.
Met with Dan as often as I could, but soon he had found Tom. They fell in love and soon after I had heard this, my young teenage heart was broken over missing an opportunity. But hey, at least rationally I knew he would be happier than ever being with Tom so I got over that quick!
Eventually I moved out of the Baltimore area to go live in Atlanta with yet another boyfriend. Of course that didn't work out after 2001's famous 9/11 and the downfall of the Dotcom boom and soon I was out of work. I knew some folks up in Baltimore so I headed back there but this was when I was dating Bob. So we would meet at Tom and Dan's place in Raleigh, NC because it was roughly halfway between. Back and forth I'd go and not once would they ever turn me away from visiting for a short time and I was so grateful.
Soon I moved BACK to Atlanta and worked at CNN and that's when I started to lose touch with Tom and Dan a bit. I'd still visit every now and then since I could, and even got stranded with them once when my car fried itself! But soon after that they moved to Chicago. They liked it there much more than in Virgina and I don't blame them. So many friends back there and they seemed to enjoy it a lot. Tom and Dan got married somewhere in there too. I was able to go to the wedding, even if I felt a little out of place there. But they didn't care and wanted me to go anyway and I was so happy for them.
The mid 2000s up until now I'd visit probably once a year, usually near a convention called Midwest Furfest. Sometimes before or sometimes afterward. I never wanted to put too much pressure on them since they did so much for that convention. I met their dogs and saw their wonderful house and they would take me and Bob out to eat and whatnot. I loved visiting them when I could.
We went to Alaska twice together. Alaskan cruises. First time I took Bob and Ray along with and we had a good time. They had so much fun putting these vacations together and I was glad to have gone and see such beautifulness as Alaska. I went a second time on my own with them since I was the only one who could get time off. That's the basis of the infamous "forgot my passport and remembered it the day before the cruise" incident. Boy howdy, I'll tell that sometime when I'm feeling better.
I heard about Dan having back problems on my news network of choice Twitter. I didn't really think much of it because I also have some back problems from an injury. But soon he said he couldn't feel his legs and they had to take him into the hospital. Found out shortly afterward he needed emergency surgery to fix the problem. I was scared but .. it was just a procedure. I've also had a bit of major surgery so I knew how it might be but hearing that he couldn't walk or feel his legs really worried me.
His surgery was mostly successful from what I heard. I was happy. He had made it. He was even starting to walk around a bit so I knew he was going to be okay. Tom was working his ass off helping Dan out and I really wish I could have visited at the time but I didn't. I knew he was surrounded by many people who loved him.
Today, I was getting up to take delivery of some grocieries. Soon afterward, I laid down on the couch to relax on a lazy Sunday and read a tweet by someone replying to Tom that they were so sorry. My hackles went up at the sound of this almost immediately. I pulled down the conversation and read it. Dan had passed away from a heart attack.
My first instinct was to tell Bob and Ray about it. They weren't at the house so I let them know. Then I sat there in stunned silence. Soon to tweet out to folks about how unfair everything is. I cried. I'm on medication to smooth my moods out so it's a bit tougher than it should be, which is probably good because I'd be curled up in a ball sobbing even still.
Dan Hauschild was the kindest, strongest, hardest working guy I've ever known. He was married to a man who is also very strong and hard working and kind. My heart has fallen out knowing how much Tom must be hurting. If I hurt this much, I don't know how he can survive. Tom, if you need anyone to talk to I'm here for you but I know you didn't know me that well. He was beautiful. And I'm sorry this has happened. I hope we all can meet him again someday.
--Michael/Brophey
