Dear Humanity

 Dear humanity,

The hour is late. It has been a long time since Adam and Eve took the fruit of the garden. Humanity has grown old since then, and yet, amidst all our history, we have learned little. For we are still deceived by that same serpent who told Eve “you too, can be like God.” Do we not still think today that we can be like god? We think “surely, I will not die.” Believing that we can be immortal on this earth. That we can unmake what God has made. That we can decide what is true. That we can rise up against our brother in the fields to strike him dead. As did Cain against Able. The first murder. Yet his blood is crying out to God from the ground. 

And so now again. The blood of the innocent has stained God’s good earth and it will not be silent. By faith, Charlie Kirk stood up to preach the gospel and speak the truth. By faith he received mockery and scorn. A man of whom this world was not worthy. Through his faith, though he died, he still speaks.

When Pilate said to them “whom do you want me to release for you? Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?” “They said, Barabbas.” I’ll tell you again. The hour is late and humanity has learned little. We still let murderers go free and kill those who tell us the truth. We still kill the innocent, the very ones who would die to save us. We still listen, ever so carefully to the serpent of old. We humanity. We are easily deceived. 

We have become futile in our thinking. Darkened in our foolish hearts, all while claiming to be wise. Always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. We have ignored sound teaching and accumulated teachers to suit our passions. We have exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man. We have exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped the creature rather than the creator. 

When will we learn the lessons of history? How long will it take for us to realize that killing the innocent is wrong. That we are living a lie. That God is God and we are not. From Able to Christ to Charlie. When will there be enough blood poured into the ground for us to finally hear the cries of the dead? 

I tell you this lesson will not be learned tomorrow. Nor next week, or month or year. Not if all the lives of humanity were lived over fourfold would we change our ways. Not until all of us are dead and in our souls we bow on our knees before God on His throne in glory will all who have ever existed confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Then and only then, will the full truth be spoken and be heard and known to be the exact truth from the lips of God. Then will justice be done, perfect justice. And then, at last. At the end of all things. Will grace be given to those few. Those few who walked through the narrow gate, whose eyes were open and who believed the truth was worth dying for. To them rest is given. 

But today is not that day, for we the few of humanity who are faithful. Who remain. We have no rest. We have no peace. We have no safety from the darkest of intentions. To us few who remain on this blood stained earth is given persecution. To us is given the trenches. To fight our warfare, not with weapons of the flesh, but with divine power. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God. We fight with a sword written by the breath of God. Used to tear down the lying strongholds of the devil. 

To us is given the charge, in the presence of God who is to judge the living and the dead. Preach the word. Be ready in season and out of season. Reprove, rebuke and exhort with complete patience and teaching. Always be sober minded. Do the work of an evangelist and fulfill your ministry. Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith. 

Elements of Negotiation

 Elements of Negotiation 

This is my advice to myself, because I often forget what to do during conflict.

Sometimes I just need to write thoughts down, you know.

It's in the calm that you prepare for the storm. It's in peacetime that you think of the perfect battle strategy. It’s always easier to give good advice to other people so I am speaking to myself, like I would to a friend.

If you are reading this and want to contribute your thoughts then please do. I'd like to hear your advice.

Have you ever been in a confrontation with someone and felt burned afterward?

You got into a conflict. Or someone was passive aggressive? 

Maybe you didn’t know what to say at the moment, but later you fantasized about the perfect comeback.

Maybe it's a conflict at work, with your boss. Or with your landlord. Maybe family members.

Learning to keep your cool and say the right words in a heated moment is hard and I have struggled with this for years. 

So here are my reminders for when I forget what I have learned on this topic and need help. 

Understand the elements

• Fire

• Wood

• Stone

• Water

If you get burned by someone else's fire you will have four options for how you can respond.

Fire can be negotiated with fire. The other person starts yelling, so you start yelling.

They belittle you or insult you, so you belittle or insult them back. An eye for an eye.

Fire can be negotiated with Wood. This is my mistake. As you probably already know, when wood meets fire it gets burned up. The wood takes the heat and suffers. 

Fire can be negotiated with stone. You wall off or armor up. The fire can’t hurt you as a stone, but now you can’t feel anything anymore. You are cold, safe and lifeless.

Fire can be negotiated with water. This is the most ideal and difficult path. Not only are you protecting yourself from the fire, you are able to influence a change in the other person. 

We usually want to become water in a fiery conflict, but in the heat of the moment we can lose our minds and stop thinking clearly. So the big question is…?

How do we become water?

• Don’t immediately respond

• Control your physiology

• Show kindness

• Speak the truth

Don’t respond or say anything. If you jet back at the person with a quick reply. You will fall into panic, breathlessness and brain freeze. Silence is okay. Allow them to feel your quiet. It helps them to think more about what they just said and slow down the conversation. 

Control your physiology. Just breathe. Even looking away can help. Don’t think about what to say next. Think about your heart beat. Often when a conversation heats up, our body actually changes its chemical reactions. The heart beats loud, our thoughts race or stop dead, we start sweating and we may forget to breathe. Your body gets hit with the fight or flight response. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Calm yourself down.

Showing kindness is the most offsetting reaction for the other person when they are expecting a fight. If you can look them in the eyes and just smile. Say something nice or even thank them for bringing up a topic. It shows them you are not here to fight or hurt them. You also will change your thoughts away from angry fire, into kind water. Just by showing kindness, you can become kind.

Speak the truth. You need to set things straight with the other person and use clear words to communicate. But you can’t speak the truth if you can’t think clearly. Instead you will stutter, gasp for air and then say something you really didn’t mean to say (me). Thereby misleading the other person about your heart and mind. You also can’t speak the truth if you get fire inside you and become hostile. If you instantly demonize the person then the truth is blurred in your eyes. You exaggerate, forget details or even outright lie. 

In order to speak the truth you must remain in control of your physiology and have enough humility to show kindness to the person. To love them and give them the empathy they may need in that moment. 

Another idea for speaking truth when you are ready, is to actually tell the person about what's going on inside you. Give them your perspective. “Thanks for mentioning that. I’m a little shocked right now and I’m not sure what to say.” Practicing this phrase or maybe one like it can help you to say the right thing without needing to think it up at the moment.

When you can bring these 4 behaviors together, then you can become water. 

I know that in the moment you can forget this whole “lesson” about negotiating, so if you forget everything then just remember this. 

W.A.I.T.

W = Wait to respond 

A = Air in your lungs

I = Initiate kindness

T = Truth needs to be spoken

I hope I can remind myself of these ideas when I need it and I hope it helped anyone who read this far. Thank you.

Dating with a full glass

Are you dating someone out of your lack? 

or 

From a place of fullness?

For years I searched for a mate because I needed the validation. I felt like there was something wrong with me unless I had a girlfriend to prove I was valuable. I dated from a place of survival, need and desperation. 

This rewarded me with many broken hearts and painful experiences. 

If you have lived in the same brokenness, let me give you hope. There is a better way.

Dating with a full glass. 

I am no master of this. I only know it’s the right way to date and it’s what I aim for. 

If you are worried because you feel empty. Your glass is dry. Fear not.

I will show you the few things I know.

The first steps to filling your glass is becoming aware of why you want to date.

This may seem obvious, but when you really drill down on why, the answers become a challenge. 

I realize for myself. The reason why I wanted to date, needed to date, was my feeling incomplete. Not enough. I had something to prove, to earn. It was about status. I wanted a trophy. 

People have hurt me in the past and made me feel like a loser. I wanted to rub it in their face and show them how awesome I am. 

I used to dream of walking into a party with my supermodel/pro-athlete girlfriend on my arm. All those people who doubted me or broke my heart in the past would cry inside, wishing they had never left me. Then in that moment my life would be great. Right? Wrong.

It’s a vain, selfish dream of an insecure person who needs therapy. Who needs a change of heart. Not a girlfriend, whom he doesn’t have the maturity to date. This describes most of my dating life. 

It has taken a long time to let go of that dream. To not give in when I feel small or lonely. 

I have changed my why now. I don’t date to fill my glass of life. That glass is already full. I date to fill someone else’s glass. Ideally theirs will be full too, but I plan to overflow that beautiful glass of their life. To bless the crap out of it.

Why date? To give. Not to take.

It requires recognizing my value comes from God, not a girlfriend or impressing other people.

How can I be happy with someone else if I am not first happy with myself?

That question hurts. Ouch.

So you ask the question why and you become aware of what you want from a relationship. What’s next?

Let go of those needs and wants. Let go of impressing other people. Let go of proving yourself. Let go of having your dream person. Let go of the false expectation you set for yourself which only serves to hurt you and hold you back. 

I had an epiphany once. Several years ago. I don’t always do this well, but my life has been much healthier since making this change. 

Instead of showing up to a date with someone with expectations about what you will get. Show up with a plan to give. How can you bless this person without any need to receive anything in return?

Challenging?

If they ghost me. Then they ghost me. I am happy to have had the opportunity to talk with them and I hope their life is better for it. 

If they don’t reciprocate my flirting, or complements, or affirmations then I am happy I could bless them. I don’t need to receive anything from them because I am happy with who I am. 

Listen carefully. Here’s my science.

When you don’t need to receive anything from your date, then you are better able to give, this will show confidence and maturity, which will make you attractive to them. 

Now that sounds easy. Here’s the hard part. 

Boundaries. Learn to say no. 

Use this when you are feeling too obsessed with a person and are afraid of over reacting, analysing or assuming. If you are not setting good boundaries then read this twice.

When I am insecure. I say yes to everything because I fear the other person’s disapproval. I am most healthy when I can say no.

Let me give you my list of Do’s and Don’ts. First the don’ts because they are hard.

Create dating boundaries for yourself.

1. Don’t try dating anyone if you are unhappy with life, feeling sad or lonely. Then you will just be using them as a drug or medication for your emotionally unhealthy life. Listen carefully kids. One of the great lies. Which I have wasted too much time believing. Is this. “You complete me. You make me happy. My life is great with you.” Yes your partner should add to your life and bless you. But your thriving in life does not depend on them. You need to thrive on your own right. Or I would preach, by the blood of Christ.

2. Don’t be their puppy who comes when you are called. Take at least 30 minutes before replying to messages unless it's a time dependent issue. I have wasted hours of my life watching my phone, waiting for it to buzz with a message. I have procrastinated on work, family, friends and life because I couldn’t stop thinking about this other person. That other person was probably not even thinking about me. She was probably enjoying her life, not even imagining my self inflicted suffering over her. Turn off your phone and allow yourself some empty mind space.

3. Don’t compromise on your routine or priorities. It’s tempting to let this person’s affections rule your life, that's a trap which will destroy your life and chances with the person. I have cancelled all kinds of plans with friends, family or work because I wanted to do something with a girl. Wrong. If she is not your girlfriend, in a committed relationship with you, then you should not be changing your priorities for her.

The stoic mindset guide. 

What you should be doing.

1. Take deep breaths. Practice some meditation, Tai Chi or exercise. Take advantage of empty mind space. When I am stuck thinking about someone, then I have entered an unhealthy space. Clear your mind. Usually this requires me to empty it first. If I try to get distracted or fill my mind with something else, this will often lead to failure. Empty your mind.

2. Patience is a virtue. Don’t rush anything, especially replying to messages. You can wait. Take your time. I have to actually keep my phone off when I’m really excited about someone. Or else I will check it too often. Become a good listener. Remember what they have to say. I have ruined many relationships because I missed the details. 

3. Always give them the benefit of the doubt. Don’t create malicious fantasies or act out in revenge. Be respectful. Always. This one is freakishly hard. It’s so crazy easy to jump to conclusions. “They haven’t replied in twelve hours. They must be having sex with their ex and they hate me forever.” No. Probably not happening. Take a deep breath. Be Patient. Assume the best. 

There are probably more things which I could add to these lists. But this will help you start.

Pour yourself a full glass. 

Drink deep. 

Enjoy who God made you to be. 

Thrive. 

Then date.

Then give.

 

Entertainment Value

What is your entertainment threshold?

Recently I have been feeling extra bored. Everything feels like a chore to me.
Do you know the feeling I’m talking about?

Let’s define what the entertainment threshold is. This is the point in which you go from bored to entertained. 

Example. Let’s say you are sitting in a long and boring lecture about a topic which you find very dull. Suddenly your ET (entertainment threshold) drops. You find pleasure in doing little things such as people watching, daydreaming or doodling on paper. 

These activities have a low level of entertainment value, but because your ET is so low, you find them enjoyable. 

Now for a contrasting example. Let’s say you are in the middle of watching the newest, highly anticipated movie release. The theatre is dead silent as everyone, yourself included is focused on this film. You forget where you are in space and time, it’s that good. Now your ET has gone way up. The movie has a high value of entertainment.

Those simple things which you found enjoyable during a boring lecture. People watching, daydreaming and doodling on paper. Those things are boring now. You aren’t interested in stopping the movie to participate in those activities. 

Right now I am reading through the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rolling. It’s great. Very entertaining. Sometimes when the story is climaxing at the end of a book. I will be so excited I can’t sleep and just consume the book into the night. Sometimes I ignore other books I am reading at the same time. If I am reading a nonfiction book, it might get dusty. Reading it seems boring to me in comparison to reading Harry Potter. But if I was bored. Then the nonfiction book might actually be very interesting to me. It’s just not interesting to me right now.

So depending on the value of your current entertainment activity, your ET will rise or fall.
Now let’s throw the concept of Delayed Gratification into the equation.
Here’s where things become interesting. 

The lower your ET is, the higher your DG (delayed gratification) will be.
DG is correlated with people becoming more successful and productive in life. This is important.
Said another way. If you can find entertainment value from things which are boring, then you will generate the ability to wait. 

The simple pleasures of life. 

Watching a sunrise, old classic movies or music, reading books, puzzles, finding joy in chores, certain hobbies like woodworking and writing. 

Recently I have been challenging myself to become better at writing. This is an activity for which I have long hated throughout my life. I dreaded the pen and paper. Now as I grow older I see the value in writing, but it still seems boring to me. If I want to get some writing done, I have to make myself bored. Only then will writing seem fun. 

If I were to parallel this with food. I can’t eat my dessert before dinner. I can’t do something with high entertainment value, which will raise my ET and then afterward try to write. The writing will seem boring to me. 

I aspire to write a book someday. This will not happen if I am seeking constant entertainment. Long hours of writing will not be fun. I need to learn how to keep my ET low. This will make me more productive for my writing. 

My question for you is. Are you consistently consuming high entertainment value activities? Is your ET high?

How can you tell? Do you get bored easily? Then you probably have a high ET. 

What are things you might be procrastinating on in life? If you suddenly found yourself bored out of your mind would you be able to do those things? 

Something to think about.

Maybe it’s time to get bored again?

 

An argument for talking animals

Did animals ever talk?

That pink snake photo is hilarious. Lol. Crying.

Okay. It’s crazy. But use some imagination and dream with me for a second.

There are tons of stories. Movies. Books. Myths. About talking animals.

One day. Randomly. My dad threw out this thought and I’ve been chewing on it ever since.

Why didn’t Eve freak out when Satan talked to her as a snake?

Oh. That's interesting. 

I would freak out if a snake slithered over to me and just started talking.

Last night I finished watching Pirates of the Caribbean. Again. So I imagine the snake as like, “and the apples… one of those next.” Hah.

So why didn’t Eve think it strange when the snake talked?

Okay here are a few reasons.

1. Maybe she didn’t know any better. I’m not sure how old she is at this point. Perhaps God literally had just made her and then like two minutes later she meets Satan as a snake. Which would suck because you didn’t get the chance to enjoy the garden before you ruined the whole planet. Big bummer. But like if she hadn’t met any other animals then she wouldn't know if any of them talked or not. It also makes me curious about how intelligent she was, and Adam for that matter, after being created. Did they know stuff about how the world works or were they created with the minds of babies? I assume they had the mental development to match their bodily development. They seem to be created as adults. If they started out already knowing certain things then would they have understanding about animals? Maybe…

2. She knew the snake was a spirit. Maybe Eve knew the snake wasn’t a normal animal. The snake was really Satan. So it could be that Eve had a sense of the animal being different and was not scared by it talking.

3. Because animals could TALK in the garden!!! Let’s get to it already. Animals may have been able to talk at one point in history. I mean, they did talk. Satan talked as the snake and Balaam’s donkey talked to him too. So it has happened. But are those the only times animals have talked or could there have been a time when they all talked? 

Things to discuss with your cat next time you are alone.

1. Adam picking his wife. God had all the animals come to Adam and let him name them and then decide if any of them was a good helper for him. Why would anyone consider animals for a helper/wife/life-long partner? Now before all those desperately insecure single dog women attack me. “Dogs are better than any man. Humph!” Just remember Adam didn’t pick a dog. So get your paws off me already. Adam didn’t want an animal, but apparently the animals were close enough to be considered. Why? Maybe animals were different back then. Think about it. What separates humans from animals? Intelligence, right? Mental powers are one of the main differences. So what if animals were considered as a wife for Adam because they used to talk or had a higher intelligence? Just a thought. 

2. Okay check out Noah after the flood. God says the fear and dread of man will be on every animal and they will be food for Noah. So a few things here. It seems that maybe people didn’t eat animals before the flood. People were all vegetarian. Why would people not eat animals? Seriously. Animals taste great. :) But maybe animals were not considered food. Why not? Because they talked? Maybe… So after Noah lands the ark God does something to change animals forever. Fear and dread. God makes animals fear and dread humans. Hmm. So let's look at this in reverse. Before the flood animals didn’t fear or dread humans. That's cool right. Maybe they didn’t fear humans because they were all buds and could talk together? Idk. Maybe.

These are all very interesting thoughts and I don’t currently believe animals talked, but I like to think it was possible. It seems fun to think about it. 

So next time you vent out all your boy troubles to your dog, stop and think. Maybe your dog understands? I mean, of course it understands you. Sheesh. HAHA. 

Embrace my fellow admirably with disagreements

 My blood can turn to fire sometimes. I’ll hear someone state a viewpoint which I fiercely oppose. 

“Spinal surgery is the only way to fix back pain.” 

“Homeschoolers are so awkward and sheltered, how can they ever become successful in life?” 

“Christians are just ignoring science and believe in fairy tales.”

“WRONG. Hello person. I will tell you what to think.” Shouts my mind.

These are just some examples for me.

I’m sure you have your list of issues which light you up too.

I’ve decided to make a guide for myself to remind me about loving my neighbor as myself. Even when I disagree.

So Brandon. Ask these questions when I hear those infuriating statements. 

• Can I embrace them after talking?

• Can I be aware of my own emotions during the conversation and control them?

• Can I ask questions and not just monologue? 

• Can I listen without interrupting?

• Am I willing to change my mind?

• Is my identity attached to a certain viewpoint?

I didn’t like my answers.

It has become increasingly difficult to disagree with others in the modern day. People have attached their emotions and identity to ideas and are unable to discuss them rationally. Friendships can easily be lost with the wrong slip of a comment about politics or religion. 

The embrace is the sticking point for me. If I can’t hug. Then we’re in trouble.

If you can then cheers to you. World peace is possible with humans like you in existence. 

Unfortunately. I need to do more work. 

So here’s a start!

I’ve come up with a few ideas. 

Listen carefully future Brandon. I need this.

Here are my do’s and don'ts. First the don’ts.

Disagreement Mistakes! Don’t do it!

1. Jumping to conclusions 

2. Thinking a person is evil or malicious for their opinion.

3. Speaking more than you listen

Jumping to conclusions is easy to do.

Labels and stereotypes are notorious for causing this problem. If someone names a political or religious title, I can jump all around thinking they agree with ideas without them ever stating their true thoughts on something. 

I hear the word “Christian” and a thousand ideas pop into my head about that person. Stop it Brandon. Don’t think like that.

Let a person explain what they believe. Don’t assume.

It’s much more work to patiently listen while someone explains. Taking the time to ask thoughtful questions. 

Thinking a person is evil or malicious for their opinion. 

This is one of the most dangerous mistakes. 

This ruins relationships. 

I’ve done this one before.

If I have known someone for years and have a great relationship with them, but suddenly they tell me something I disagree with. Will I react with distrust, less respect or distancing?

Why? What behavior brings me to my reaction?

If the babysitter tells me they believe in mandatory vaccines. Will I cancel their services? Even though they have been working with my family for years.

There might be good reasons to distrust someone based on their beliefs, depending on what it is. But I think I rush to judgement. Too often. 

I think churches and Christian circles are the worst about this mistake. Someone sinned in their past and now I’m cutting them off. Instead of taking them in and helping them.

Speaking more than you listen.

One mouth. Two ears. 

That’s all I got to say about that. Or I might be a hypocrite.

Next Step

I need to be a disagreement detective. Not in the sense I will find out all the issues I disagree on with a person. 

But. In the sense which leads me to ask them questions. Investigate their ideas. Why do they think this way?

Disagreement Do’s:

1. Empathy

2. Expectations

3. Embrace

Empathy is hard. 

But it’s an essential human ability. Putting myself in someone else’s shoes.

Let me repeat that to myself because I am slow in the head. 

“Brandon. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes for once, will ya.”

When my fellow proclaims their felicitous claim. Don’t rush to attack. 

Listen. Take deep breaths. Become curious. 

Turn to wonder. Think. “I wonder why they believe that?”

Believe they are doing the best they can with their life and the knowledge they have.

If they don’t like cats. Maybe it’s because they had a bad experience. Imagine myself having a bad cat experience. However difficult it sounds.

Expectations are easy to set, but rarely done.

If I sense a serious conversation coming on. Which might arouse conflict.

Stop the conversation and proclaim my expectations.

“I think we are going to talk about some divisive issues. Are you ready to disagree with me?”

As soon as I hear the word “Pandemic” come up. I brace myself. I need to set expectations for the other person about what will happen if we disagree. 

“I will still love you even if you are crazy.” Haha...

This can make or break the whole talk.

It reminds people to think of how important our relationship is.

Changes the whole mindset of the conversation. So do it.

Embrace your fellow. 

Hug them. Long and tight. 

Don’t let the sun go down without the hug.

Now here’s an extra challenge.

Hug.

Not JUST after the disagreement. But BEFORE too.

Can I cultivate a mindset of willingness to embrace others? 

Create a practice of imagining myself hugging someone I really don’t like. 

Ouch. It hurts to think of that.

There are people I don’t want to embrace.

Jesus hugged lepers right?

It may be humbling. If so, then I need to practice those thoughts.

Be ready to embrace someone, so when the time comes it's easy and natural for me.

Conclusions

Hugs not drugs. Cuddles not puddles. Embrace to the face. Arms without arms.

Fixing the problem starts with me fixing my problems.

Remember to reread this later Brandon. 

Ego Persona

In my life I have adapted to certain roles or personas.

To gain attention. 

Not that I purposely created these personas. But as I acted in certain ways. Some people laughed or liked it and I felt good being that type of person. 

The persona I have adopted most is a suave. Alpha male behavior. 

I remember watching a movie or show. Can’t remember what exactly. The main character was a douchebag. Alpha male type. 

Might have been James Bond. Tony Stark. Captain Kirk from Star Trek. Archer. Idk… can’t remember.

It was great comedy. The group of guys I was watching it with enjoyed the humor of the douchebag character. 

After it ended. 

We were still laughing in good fun. Retelling lines. Re-enacting scenes. 

My impression of the character was good. Too good. I got attention pretending to be this person. 

Attention. 

Not as me. But as this douchebag. People liked me as a douchebag. Or so it felt in the moment. 

Confidence is attractive. 

I think we are drawn to the douchebag movie characters because we thrive on their confidence. 

I like being confident. But the only role of “confidence” I had played and been approved in was the douchebag confidence. So I continued to play that role. 

Men like a confident man. Alpha male man. “A man’s man.”

Women like a confident man. A leader. A family man.

In my life I knew people liked me better in this role. Alpha, douchebag, player, Clint Eastwood type guy.

Some people only knew me as the egotistical guy at the party. 

But I didn’t view myself as being egotistical. Or arrogant. 

I saw all the other parts of my life. Outside the role of alpha male. 

So when I mistreated someone. I would later think self shaming thoughts. “You jerk.” “ you are a tool.” Why did I act unkind? “That’s not me”

Often my jerkiness was taken as a joke. Guys would laugh at it. Some girls would roll their eyes. Or girls would maybe see the other guys laughing and so they would join the joke. 

It was the people who wanted attention from me who got burned the most. 

If a girl was attracted to me. Maybe because of my outward confidence. She would put herself out there hoping for attention or affirmation. 

Instead she would get rejected. Hurt. Embarrassed. 

Several girls have called me a “full of himself jerk.” For good reasons.

It’s sad because that was only one side of me. It was the insecure side of me.

I had other sides too. But I didn’t know how to show those parts of me with confidence.

What changed for me?

I started accepting myself for who God made me to be. I started caring more about His thoughts of me than other people.

It took work though. Reading books. Talking through it. Learning. Crying. Hurting. Recovering.

All this leads me to a thought. 

Which is easier.

1. Showing the parts of you which YOU like?

Or 

2. Showing the parts of you which OTHERS like?

If you always live for the approval of other people. When are you ever being yourself?

What is the true you?

Second thought here.

Are there people you can be yourself around? 

Like you could show all your weird parts and they are still your friend?

Twist…

Are you that kind of friend for other people?

It’s tough right.

MAYBE stop and re-read those last few questions.

.

.

.

That’s what I’m sitting on.

I want to enter a season of being a REAL friend.