Friday March 30
We had school off today, Spring Recess for Friday and Monday, and spent it being a bit lazy! That was really nice! We played together, did some tidying up, saw the outdoors, and had a pleasant day together. I had wished Chayse could take some time off...but that just couldn't happen. Oh well! We had a good day. I like days like this!!
Saturday March 31
With it being Easter Weekend and LDS Conference weekend {where living prophets and apostles speak to us and deliver messages pertinent to today's issues and problems as was done in Christ's time} soccer was canceled. We did the gym, picked up some groceries and then came home to listen to a bit of the morning session of conference {There are 5 sessions, each 2 hours with approx 5-7 speakers and 4 or so musical numbers}. At 12 we got ready and went to the neighborhood Easter Egg hunt at the silkwood park. The kids had a WONDERFUL time! We all had sunburns and forced the kids to leave close to 3! Cassie headed it up with another neighbor that owns the St George Shuttle. They came up with the idea to hide 36 extra eggs {each parents delivered 12 eggs per kid last night to be scattered around before the hung} with numbers inside and could pick from this prize table in the order of the numbers. All 3 kids found a number and came back with the prize of their choice. They were thrilled! Lux got a shopkins watch that Pippa eventually destroyed before the week was up, Zane found a strong nerf gun that he hasn't put down, and Zoey got the playdoh set she and Pippa have been playing with solid. I loved the idea they had with that...it was a wonderful addition to the already fun hunt. Kitchen 435 also catered it with tasty pork sandwiches and neighbors bringing sides and desserts. A good 60 kids were there for the hunt. It was a wonderful addition to our Easter Weekend!!
Sunday April 1
HAPPY EASTER!!! The kids had a great day!! They got a few things in their baskets {bubble bath, colors for baths, bath paints, stickers, sunscreen, Markers and stamps} and then had a lot of eggs to collect in the backyard! They had a great time with the simple hunt and when Pippa found out they had hidden gems inside, she slowed down and kept eating what she could find! They were so sweet with the hunt. I love those babies. They love these things and I am glad we go along with them.
We watched conference in the morning and then Shay and Jaymee came over between sessions to ride bikes with us. I was planning on going for a while, but the kids lasted maybe 15 minutes? I guess the flatness of our streets got to them? Silly kids. But then we sat in the front yard and chatted. That was a lot of fun.
For dinner we met at Perry's house for some yummy roast. I am not a big fan of roast, but this one was tasty. We are very lucky to have cousins so close and to have the kids get along so well. It was a nice end to our Easter day.
And then Grandma gave each kid their own "treat cereal" that the kids are thrilled about! 4 giant bags are a lot, but we will just have to ration!!
To top if off, Julianna suggested the big 3 spend the night. It turned out pretty nice because they were planning on sleeping on the tramp. I usually bring their jammies with us when we go to dinner so they can be ready for bed and brush teeth as soon as we get home. So they headed out to the tramp and were asleep by the time we left at 9. Put Pippa down, and then went to bed ourselves! Because we are party animals you know.
Monday April 2
Today was a fun day. I went to get the kids about 10:30 after doing things at the house with Pips. About 30 minutes later we decided to ask McKell to see what she was up to for the day. She graciously allowed us to come visit them on their farm {Zoey is begging for us to get a farm like her cousin Meritt} and spend the afternoon with them. Julianna and I got to work packing lunches and getting ready to go. We were able to head out around 1. This was perfect because we love visiting Pintura and our cousins on the farm. And Chayse was leaving for Vegas at 5 for a dinner and wouldn't be home until midnight or so. And I like being out of the house when he is gone. Makes for a quicker afternoon and a cleaner home. #winwin
We got up there and the kids explored outside for about 3 hours. They barely went into the house, mainly to use the restroom. The younger kids wanted to be inside for a little while, but we were able to get them back outside pretty quickly. Chatting was fun and the sunshine was wonderful as well. It was a bit breezy so I had to find the winter hat in the car to wear for my head. We headed back about 5, and then met Kim and Grandma at McDonald's for dinner. The kids played, ate, and then by 6:30 we were bathing and getting ready for bed. I'd say it was a fantastic way to spend a day off of school!
Saturday, May 5, 2018
March 27, 28, 29
Tuesday 27
A nice and busy day today! I went to the gym about 9 with the kids so that Zane could go to his preschool buddy Grayson's house. Zane talks nonstop about Grayson, especially on preschool days, and he was so thrilled to play! He stayed for almost 3 hours at his house! His mom said they got along so well and just enjoyed being together. That made me so happy to hear. Zane does like the one-on-one interactions more than large groups. And that's just fine. I am happy he has nice friends he likes to play with!
We have stopped doing play group and have decided to met at the playground once a week instead so us mamas can chat while the kids play together. Getting sunshine is always a good idea. And it was very important while I was in chemo. NOW I AM DONE! I am a week out and the bell video still makes me cry. Oh, even just the pictures of people coming to visit me at chemo make me tear up! I just can't stop repeating "I am blessed" when I see these things. There's no other way to say it but that way. God loves me, and I love Him. I am blessed because of it!
Then after bedtime I had book club at Ashley's house. We have a nice group of 5 that are generally there: Ashley, Liz, Cassie, Natalie and me. It is so fun to chat with these ladies. They are the best. And talking about books for 5 minutes is a great excuse to gather once a month. I love these women and the things we are able to share with each other. I treasure these nights! And usually get to bed close to midnight these evenings. Not the best, but we have to tear ourselves away when it gets close to then. We could probably chat all night if we didn't have responsibilities!
Wednesday 28
The day has come to register Zane for preschool!! I can't believe it!!! He was so excited to go to school today that he found Lux's school shirt to wear for the occasion. Sweet little boy. He is going to flourish next year! Then we took him off to preschool. We did the gym and came back to get ready for Zane to come home and head off to Zoey's ballet.
She just loves going to dance. She asks every day to wear her dance clothes. I try to keep the ballet shoes to be worn in the house only. But soon enough they'll creep outside... She is a great little dancer and really good at listening...generally. I am proud of how far she's come this year!
After school Zane had practice at 5:30 and then we hurried home to meet Chayse before heading to Uncle Willie's birthday dinner at Golden Corral. We drove separately so I could go to celebrate with some of the neighborhood girls being done with chemo!
This was pretty funny. There were 6 of us at Red Robin {Jessica, Carly, Cassie, Kirsten, Melissa and me} and we decided to order 3 appetizers and 3 desserts. It. Was. Perfect. And the spread may have been a bit disgusting as well...but it was also perfect!! We laughed. We cried. We laughed until we cried. It was good for the soul. And then by 11, we headed home. Mainly because they wanted to close. It was a really fun night out with friends!
Thursday 29
After two very busy days...yay for a slow one!! We got homework done, caught up on laundry and played together. We also had Lux's soccer practice at 4 and spent some time after at the park. Get their wiggles out and just stretch. I am happy they haven't spent too much time involved with electronics. Hip Hip Hooray!
A nice and busy day today! I went to the gym about 9 with the kids so that Zane could go to his preschool buddy Grayson's house. Zane talks nonstop about Grayson, especially on preschool days, and he was so thrilled to play! He stayed for almost 3 hours at his house! His mom said they got along so well and just enjoyed being together. That made me so happy to hear. Zane does like the one-on-one interactions more than large groups. And that's just fine. I am happy he has nice friends he likes to play with!
We have stopped doing play group and have decided to met at the playground once a week instead so us mamas can chat while the kids play together. Getting sunshine is always a good idea. And it was very important while I was in chemo. NOW I AM DONE! I am a week out and the bell video still makes me cry. Oh, even just the pictures of people coming to visit me at chemo make me tear up! I just can't stop repeating "I am blessed" when I see these things. There's no other way to say it but that way. God loves me, and I love Him. I am blessed because of it!
Then after bedtime I had book club at Ashley's house. We have a nice group of 5 that are generally there: Ashley, Liz, Cassie, Natalie and me. It is so fun to chat with these ladies. They are the best. And talking about books for 5 minutes is a great excuse to gather once a month. I love these women and the things we are able to share with each other. I treasure these nights! And usually get to bed close to midnight these evenings. Not the best, but we have to tear ourselves away when it gets close to then. We could probably chat all night if we didn't have responsibilities!
Wednesday 28
The day has come to register Zane for preschool!! I can't believe it!!! He was so excited to go to school today that he found Lux's school shirt to wear for the occasion. Sweet little boy. He is going to flourish next year! Then we took him off to preschool. We did the gym and came back to get ready for Zane to come home and head off to Zoey's ballet.
She just loves going to dance. She asks every day to wear her dance clothes. I try to keep the ballet shoes to be worn in the house only. But soon enough they'll creep outside... She is a great little dancer and really good at listening...generally. I am proud of how far she's come this year!
After school Zane had practice at 5:30 and then we hurried home to meet Chayse before heading to Uncle Willie's birthday dinner at Golden Corral. We drove separately so I could go to celebrate with some of the neighborhood girls being done with chemo!
This was pretty funny. There were 6 of us at Red Robin {Jessica, Carly, Cassie, Kirsten, Melissa and me} and we decided to order 3 appetizers and 3 desserts. It. Was. Perfect. And the spread may have been a bit disgusting as well...but it was also perfect!! We laughed. We cried. We laughed until we cried. It was good for the soul. And then by 11, we headed home. Mainly because they wanted to close. It was a really fun night out with friends!
Thursday 29
After two very busy days...yay for a slow one!! We got homework done, caught up on laundry and played together. We also had Lux's soccer practice at 4 and spent some time after at the park. Get their wiggles out and just stretch. I am happy they haven't spent too much time involved with electronics. Hip Hip Hooray!
HAPPY (32) BIRTHDAY CHAYSE!!
Yayyyy!!!! Today is the day when Chayse gets to be the same age as me again!!
We didn't celebrate as much as I usually like to do for birthdays. Cancer has really slowed me down on my game. It's snubbed the fun and planning out of me. But it's alright. Cancer will cover a good year of my life...and then I'll just do all the follow ups. And not deal with that pain again...because it's gone! No more achesss!!!! YESSSS!!! I made it. I MADE IT!
Back to Chayse. He got himself a nice massage early afternoon and came home early for once. His mom offered to watch the kids and I was letting Chayse pick whatever he wanted to do. A movie, dinner, maybe get some new shorts or something...and he just wanted to do Chick-fil-a (exciting, huh? I usually reserve this for a big family outing!) and then get some shorts. An extremely low key birthday. A bit boring, but it's been a strange year. I'll give him a pass. And he's been overwhelmed at work too, going in about 7:30 each morning and then home sometime between 6&7 usually. So I can understand. But I was at least thinking a nicer sit down? It's okay honey. We'll try again for 33!
It was nice to chat for a little bit. Then get the kids down and relax in the evening. That's always a good night when relaxing is involved!
We didn't celebrate as much as I usually like to do for birthdays. Cancer has really slowed me down on my game. It's snubbed the fun and planning out of me. But it's alright. Cancer will cover a good year of my life...and then I'll just do all the follow ups. And not deal with that pain again...because it's gone! No more achesss!!!! YESSSS!!! I made it. I MADE IT!
Back to Chayse. He got himself a nice massage early afternoon and came home early for once. His mom offered to watch the kids and I was letting Chayse pick whatever he wanted to do. A movie, dinner, maybe get some new shorts or something...and he just wanted to do Chick-fil-a (exciting, huh? I usually reserve this for a big family outing!) and then get some shorts. An extremely low key birthday. A bit boring, but it's been a strange year. I'll give him a pass. And he's been overwhelmed at work too, going in about 7:30 each morning and then home sometime between 6&7 usually. So I can understand. But I was at least thinking a nicer sit down? It's okay honey. We'll try again for 33!
It was nice to chat for a little bit. Then get the kids down and relax in the evening. That's always a good night when relaxing is involved!
Sunday March 25
The pains today were fading throughout the day. Thrilled with this news. I am just so irritated with being in pain. I don't know how people do this consistently. I do understand the movement is hard. But I am just inches away from this leaving me. Forever!
Sunday was spent at church in the morning, then a nice nap for Pippa when we got home. The other kids played nicely outside and we hung out with them as well. We had decided to do Chayse's "birthday party" of sorts today with his family. I had decided we would have ham and potatoes, because Chayse usually loves that...but nah. He changed his mind. He wanted to have ribs instead! Thankfully they were already prepped and I just had to bake them. And then some potato salad and corn on the cob. He made it a pretty easy dinner. And I made a ridiculously rich chocolate cheesecake with peanut butter and plenty of Reese's on the top. Yummmm.
He got some really nice things from his grandparents and parents. The kids were thrilled to give him ours...I picked up an apple watch because he has been wanting one for years. And I knew it was a big deal for him to get me one and not himself. And it was a huge surprise. I am usually practical in my gifts. Getting things that are useful but I don't want to spend the money on them. This time I just decided to go big. This does end up going back on me...because he set up his watch and then we had issues with our single iTunes account. Then Chayse redid this, redid that...and then we had to, yes, reset my phone to factory settings and lost about 90% of all numbers. Not sure how it decided to keep certain ones, but I had no family numbers on either side and just have been thrilled with starting over...NOT! Bahhhh! I'll get over it eventually. I love my husband and wanted to spoil him. But now I am second guessing!!
The kids had fun with their cousins and played outside a good chunk of time. It was nice to have everyone over to celebrate Chayse. He's the best and the rock of our family. I am beyond blessed to have him beside me through this adventure called life!
Sunday was spent at church in the morning, then a nice nap for Pippa when we got home. The other kids played nicely outside and we hung out with them as well. We had decided to do Chayse's "birthday party" of sorts today with his family. I had decided we would have ham and potatoes, because Chayse usually loves that...but nah. He changed his mind. He wanted to have ribs instead! Thankfully they were already prepped and I just had to bake them. And then some potato salad and corn on the cob. He made it a pretty easy dinner. And I made a ridiculously rich chocolate cheesecake with peanut butter and plenty of Reese's on the top. Yummmm.
He got some really nice things from his grandparents and parents. The kids were thrilled to give him ours...I picked up an apple watch because he has been wanting one for years. And I knew it was a big deal for him to get me one and not himself. And it was a huge surprise. I am usually practical in my gifts. Getting things that are useful but I don't want to spend the money on them. This time I just decided to go big. This does end up going back on me...because he set up his watch and then we had issues with our single iTunes account. Then Chayse redid this, redid that...and then we had to, yes, reset my phone to factory settings and lost about 90% of all numbers. Not sure how it decided to keep certain ones, but I had no family numbers on either side and just have been thrilled with starting over...NOT! Bahhhh! I'll get over it eventually. I love my husband and wanted to spoil him. But now I am second guessing!!
The kids had fun with their cousins and played outside a good chunk of time. It was nice to have everyone over to celebrate Chayse. He's the best and the rock of our family. I am beyond blessed to have him beside me through this adventure called life!
Friday, May 4, 2018
Saturday March 24
First games of the season!!!
Chayse and I both played soccer for the most part of our youth. We grew up going to games on Saturdays and watching our siblings. So it could be a dream I am forcing on my kids, but I do let them have a say with what activity they want to participate in. And Lux and Zane both said soccer. I wanted to have Zoey do it as well, but she is still too young. I always see her as a bit older than what she is with being so close in age to Zane.
They both had a game at 9 at the same fields. Thankfully they are smaller, adapted fields with only 3v3 for Zane and 5v5 for Lux. Or maybe 4. Either way, they can play and with smaller teams they get the chance to learn more of the game and not just run in clusters of grapes.
I watched Lux's game and she did a great job. She will be able to learn a lot this year. And I think her coach will do a great job with the team. I would have volunteered, but well, maybe next season. I am sure glad she did! Lux ran hard and did her best. I am proud of her efforts.
Chayse got to watch Zane and he told me he did a great job as well. He played in the fall and did well and his sisters wanted to be out there playing as well. He ran and tried his best to get a goal.
Good news...the sleepover didn't wear them out too much. The afternoon was a bit long with the kids, but it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past.
And the aches...it's Saturday. So that is day 5, with chemo day being day 1. The worst aches are days 3-5. And then mine taper off on 6&7. Then 8 I am not feeling them and have a "normal" body back!
Today I did my regiment with my meds and kept up with the doterra lotion as well. It's a very strong smell, but it feels so good on my aches. Then I compounded it with my delightful heating pad. Oh, the love of my life right now. I made it. Saturday. CHECK! These aches are going down and out very soon. I made it to the evening of day 5!!!
Chayse and I both played soccer for the most part of our youth. We grew up going to games on Saturdays and watching our siblings. So it could be a dream I am forcing on my kids, but I do let them have a say with what activity they want to participate in. And Lux and Zane both said soccer. I wanted to have Zoey do it as well, but she is still too young. I always see her as a bit older than what she is with being so close in age to Zane.
They both had a game at 9 at the same fields. Thankfully they are smaller, adapted fields with only 3v3 for Zane and 5v5 for Lux. Or maybe 4. Either way, they can play and with smaller teams they get the chance to learn more of the game and not just run in clusters of grapes.
I watched Lux's game and she did a great job. She will be able to learn a lot this year. And I think her coach will do a great job with the team. I would have volunteered, but well, maybe next season. I am sure glad she did! Lux ran hard and did her best. I am proud of her efforts.
Chayse got to watch Zane and he told me he did a great job as well. He played in the fall and did well and his sisters wanted to be out there playing as well. He ran and tried his best to get a goal.
Good news...the sleepover didn't wear them out too much. The afternoon was a bit long with the kids, but it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past.
And the aches...it's Saturday. So that is day 5, with chemo day being day 1. The worst aches are days 3-5. And then mine taper off on 6&7. Then 8 I am not feeling them and have a "normal" body back!
Today I did my regiment with my meds and kept up with the doterra lotion as well. It's a very strong smell, but it feels so good on my aches. Then I compounded it with my delightful heating pad. Oh, the love of my life right now. I made it. Saturday. CHECK! These aches are going down and out very soon. I made it to the evening of day 5!!!
Friday March 23
I'm getting closer. One day down. I'm kind of waiting for Sunday to roll around so they can be almost all gone. We are getting there. More pills, more true blue to help, and then some more pills. I am getting eager to get rid of these aches. I seriously didn't understand when people would say they are too achey to do something. Oh...I understand now!! And how much love one can have for their heating pad. It has helped ease my hips and knees. It is worth the whole $20 I spent on it. It is worth $100 in all honesty. Maybe more. I'd pay it. Desperation in reality. I used it quite a bit today, especially when the kids were at Cassie's house today. I walked them the whole two doors down the street and walked back. Then gave up and laid on the couch already ready for a nap with my heating pad. Some days you are just done and need to rest. Not exactly give up, but yeah...kind of give up. That's what the aches were like today. And I am so glad another 24 hours is just about over to get a little bit closer to finishing these wonderful aches off!
The afternoon was spent with a few games I could handle, and then some tv afterward. I don't like too much electronics because of how my kids act when I have to turn it off. But with chemo they have been much more understanding. Everything has changed with them and I hope I can keep some of these things with me in the upcoming weeks.
The kids do have a sleepover to look forward to with their cousins. Lux has an early game, so I am hoping everything goes alright tonight. I will say not having to put them to bed tonight will be nice. Pippa is heavy when I put her in her crib, but I can manage it. You force yourself to do some things. And she has just been an angel with this all. She also knew what has been going on. Kids sense everything. They just know before others do. And they do something about it too. They have some special spirits within them and I am glad this is the case. Being blessed with 4 little ones has just been incredible during this journey.
Finally...8:30 is here...I think I shall get to my bed because that's where my dream of forgetting these aches comes true with my meds.
The afternoon was spent with a few games I could handle, and then some tv afterward. I don't like too much electronics because of how my kids act when I have to turn it off. But with chemo they have been much more understanding. Everything has changed with them and I hope I can keep some of these things with me in the upcoming weeks.
The kids do have a sleepover to look forward to with their cousins. Lux has an early game, so I am hoping everything goes alright tonight. I will say not having to put them to bed tonight will be nice. Pippa is heavy when I put her in her crib, but I can manage it. You force yourself to do some things. And she has just been an angel with this all. She also knew what has been going on. Kids sense everything. They just know before others do. And they do something about it too. They have some special spirits within them and I am glad this is the case. Being blessed with 4 little ones has just been incredible during this journey.
Finally...8:30 is here...I think I shall get to my bed because that's where my dream of forgetting these aches comes true with my meds.
Thursday March 22
Aches. You are back. I missed you.
No, wait. I didn't. Not at all. I was tempted to start taking the meds last night, but figured I should at least wait until they start. And yes, they're back. The useless legs, or slow moving things that don't listen to my mind very well. It's a frustrating thing. Trying to get things done but just seeing it all go slower than what your mind thinks it should be going. Very strange and frustrating moments.
But thankfully I was able to get Lux off to school (using school lunch this week, don't you worry) and has the other 3 dressed in time for Schuyler to come and pick them up. Zane was thrilled to be going to a house that is dominated by boys. As soon as I told him they had 4 boys in their family and so many fun boy toys, he couldn't wait to go. I am surprised he got sleep last night he kept chatting about his soon to be new friends! They came home so happy after playing and were a bit disappointed their play date was over! Everything went smoothly with the kids, because they are just a bit more tender and sweet with me after chemo. They know mama is hurting and are there to help.
It has also helped immensely that I am upfront with the kids. When they ask me to do something and it just isn't possible no matter how hard I try, I tell them. "You know Zane, I can't sit on the floor right now. My bones are hurting me. But I can sit in this chair and you can sit on the chair beside me so I can read you this book." And they get it. They love me even more for it. I get so many snuggles and loves, they just care more and love more. And it is true that kids are just more sensitive to those things. I was so lucky to have cancer with little kids. They give me more life and show me more love. It wasn't a coincidence of the timing.
I spent the day making sure to take the advil between the tylenol and trying to walk around the house to keep my blood flowing. The more I move, the less pain I end up having, although it isn't gone. It's still there just in the background. By the time dinner comes around I am ready to collapse and give up. I'm ready for my stronger meds and some sleeping aid as well. Thankfully, Chayse is able to get the kids bathed and in bed and off to their routine. And I can help out as much as I can, or just sit back and watch. The kids just love me for being there. Having that experience to just feel their love has been incredible. I wish it was for another reason, but there are silver linings in everything. And here is one of mine. The pure love of an innocent child just craving touch and love. They are the best.
Ahh...and finally it is night. 8 pm at least. I made it as long as I needed to. It is time for bed!!
No, wait. I didn't. Not at all. I was tempted to start taking the meds last night, but figured I should at least wait until they start. And yes, they're back. The useless legs, or slow moving things that don't listen to my mind very well. It's a frustrating thing. Trying to get things done but just seeing it all go slower than what your mind thinks it should be going. Very strange and frustrating moments.
But thankfully I was able to get Lux off to school (using school lunch this week, don't you worry) and has the other 3 dressed in time for Schuyler to come and pick them up. Zane was thrilled to be going to a house that is dominated by boys. As soon as I told him they had 4 boys in their family and so many fun boy toys, he couldn't wait to go. I am surprised he got sleep last night he kept chatting about his soon to be new friends! They came home so happy after playing and were a bit disappointed their play date was over! Everything went smoothly with the kids, because they are just a bit more tender and sweet with me after chemo. They know mama is hurting and are there to help.
It has also helped immensely that I am upfront with the kids. When they ask me to do something and it just isn't possible no matter how hard I try, I tell them. "You know Zane, I can't sit on the floor right now. My bones are hurting me. But I can sit in this chair and you can sit on the chair beside me so I can read you this book." And they get it. They love me even more for it. I get so many snuggles and loves, they just care more and love more. And it is true that kids are just more sensitive to those things. I was so lucky to have cancer with little kids. They give me more life and show me more love. It wasn't a coincidence of the timing.
I spent the day making sure to take the advil between the tylenol and trying to walk around the house to keep my blood flowing. The more I move, the less pain I end up having, although it isn't gone. It's still there just in the background. By the time dinner comes around I am ready to collapse and give up. I'm ready for my stronger meds and some sleeping aid as well. Thankfully, Chayse is able to get the kids bathed and in bed and off to their routine. And I can help out as much as I can, or just sit back and watch. The kids just love me for being there. Having that experience to just feel their love has been incredible. I wish it was for another reason, but there are silver linings in everything. And here is one of mine. The pure love of an innocent child just craving touch and love. They are the best.
Ahh...and finally it is night. 8 pm at least. I made it as long as I needed to. It is time for bed!!
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