Aug 16 2012
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Devotional

What You Leave Behind


Over the past few months I’ve been reminded of a man in my life who passed away a couple of years ago.  He was tall man, well over 6’4, one of the gentlest men I’ve ever known. He was a husband, father, grandfather, friend, and uncle to many. Although we weren’t related at the time of his passing, I loved him like I loved all of my actual uncles. Whenever I saw him he would greet me with a huge smile, a tight hug, and sloppy kiss on the cheek. He made you feel important, like seeing you just made his day that much better.

The last time I saw him was at church. He sat in the seat he always sat in, his long legs stretched way out in front of him, and as always he greeted me in the way that only he could. That particular Sunday he was watching his grandchildren sing in the choir, he was always supporting his family. I can remember numerous times I would find him leaning over a fence or on the sidelines, cheering on his children, grandchildren, and any of his countless nieces and nephews. That’s just the kind of man he was, full of love.

There isn’t a month that goes by that I don’t see a mention of his life here on earth. A status from a grandchild or a tweet from a niece, always something to say that he is missed and loved.

Will that be your story? What will you leave behind? How will your memory be left on the hearts of those that surround you?

When I look over my life I see a lot of qualities that I don’t want to be my story. The selfish, mopey, condescending, and impatient behaviors that I don’t try very hard to get rid of. I’m not known as the person who puts aside her desires or scheduling to support every friend or family member for their special occasions. It’s hard to admit, but normally there isn’t much that I do that isn’t out of some sort of selfish ambition.

It’s difficult to look in the mirror of life and examine your faults. When you look at the reflection that is cast off and you don’t like what you see, what are you willing to do about it? Will you change your ways or will you selfishly stay committed to your faults? I won’t lie, I have looked in my mirror before and decided that I wasn’t willing to change. I was actually selfish enough to continue life my way, with little thought to those around me.

But isn’t that just the nature of the beast, our flesh. We allow our flesh to determine the outcome of our lives. We choose laziness over selflessness, complacency over striving for better, complaints over compliments. Over time we’ve lost focus, forgetting the Word, forgetting all the things we were taught as children, allowing the stresses of our lives to overpower what we know to be true.

The Bible is in no way short on verses that tell us to be selfless, put others before ourselves, love one another, encourage. And yet as Christians we turn a blind eye to our calling and lead lives contrary to the Word we claim to believe in. It’s impossible to be a light in the world if we are purposely choosing to blow out that light when it doesn’t suit our needs.

There is nothing that feels better than having someone compliment your hard work, encourage your dreams, and be present for your successes. I barely knew my grandfather, but I will always remember the time he sat me on his knee as a child and smiled while I counted to 100. To me it doesn’t matter that I can count on one hand how many times I saw him before his passing, because when it really counted he was there, and he made me feel invincible.

As I said, I’m not known to be the most supportive and encouraging person but if I can make someone else feel how my grandfather and uncle made me feel, then it’s about time I look in my mirror and be willing to change. Life is too short to allow the people in your walk of life believe you don’t care or they don’t matter. It’s an impossible task to love God but not love his children. Let’s get our focus back and take our eyes off self and place them on God. What will you leave behind?

27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.

Proverbs 3:27

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Aug 13 2012
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Proud Papa


As a mother to a rambunctious 2 year old, I’ve been privileged to watch the many transformations and milestones that my son reaches. From the first time he shook a rattle, took a step, said his first word, I’ve been able to see first hand a life taking shape. Every time he moves from one step to the next my heart just explodes with pride and joy. He’s my son, my flesh and blood, the greatest thing I’ve accomplished in my life. I love him.

As a parent, these milestones are huge. The first time my husband and I witnessed our son saying all of his ABC’s and 123s, I think we both could have cried. I couldn’t help but brag to my parents and sister, but no matter how impressed they were it could never surpass the emotion my husband and I felt. That’s our son, our little boy.

In that moment it no longer mattered that he probably threw a tantrum earlier that day, or stood in the corner 6 times, and probably drove me crazy with his “terrific” two antics. None of that mattered, I don’t even remember anything else that happened that day, but I remember he said his ABC’s. I remember the huge smile he displayed when he accomplished his task and the joy that lit up his face when we exploded in applause and praise. All I remember is pride that my son completed such a feat. And then I remember the joy I felt thinking that my husband and I were doing something right, even the times we didn’t think he was paying attention, he was. And it never gets old hearing my mother brag “Aaron said his ABC’s, his parents are really doing good with him.”

God is absolutely amazing that way. While we will never understand how much God loves us, he has created us in such a way that we are able to experience just a sliver of that emotion. Whenever I move in life, take that step of faith, hit a milestone, God is looking on, bursting with joy at his child. And just like my son saying his ABC’s is a refection of our parenting, when I succeed in life it’s all glory to God, a reflection of his love in my life.

God isn’t worried about how many potholes you hit, how you fall, why you fall, because those aren’t the things that are important. What’s important is how you get back up, the steps you take that are completely on faith, the time you spend building and molding your relationship with Him. You are his pride and joy, his little girl, or his little boy. He wants nothing more than to shower you with blessings just because you are His. It brings him joy to see you trust in Him, to throw a tantrum and redeem yourself, stand tall and proud, with a huge smile on your face. That smile, that feeling of accomplishment is like you’re saying “Daddy, look what I did!!”, and the world can look on and say “Wow, look what her Daddy did.” It all brings honor and glory to his name.

Everyday I stand in awe of God’s amazing love and power, and it pushes me to keep moving, even if I just failed. Because I know that if I fail He if the only one who will keep encouraging me to move, regardless. It’s like a child learning to ride a bike. His parent will hold on to the bike, whispering encouraging words, and then they let go, let them fly. The child may fall but the parent is right there, “You’re okay, let’s try that again. You got it this time.” The next time the child may still fall, but eventually they’ll get the hang of it and fly. It won’t be how many times they fell that is remembered, it’s the success of learning and defeating their previous failures.

You may have fallen off your bike too many times to count, ran your car off a cliff, or have a close personal relationship with the corner you always find yourself in, but it doesn’t matter. God is all about your successes, a proud papa showering you with love, saying “Well done.” It is guaranteed in life that we will “fall off the bike” once in awhile, just remember that God is right there with you, whispering in your ear, “You’ve got this, you’re okay, lets try again.” The moment you stand up and throw your leg back over that seat, He is beaming with pride. You’re his child, his little girl, or little boy, and nothing you could ever do could separate you from him and his unconditional love.

Be encouraged today, in whatever battle you’re facing. Because, while it might feel that no one has your back right now, there is one greater than all who is cheering you on, smiling with joy, and bursting with pride. Keep pedaling, and always get back up.

33 “I have told you these things,so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

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Aug 09 2012
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Devotional

What if….


Recently, I was browsing my Facebook news feed and ran across an interesting status. A young woman wrote, “Just a thought: If everyone was doing what they were gifted in, famous people would be less famous. Awesome would be amateur.” Her statement struck a chord in me…. What if? What if everyone was doing what God called them to do. Or to make it a bit more realistic, what if every self-proclaimed believer of Christ was doing what God called them do, in the arena that He called them to do it. What if we all stood on faith and walked into Gods destiny for us, doing everything in His name, to His glory. What a world that would be right?

This really shook me, what reason do I have to not do what God has called me to? Why have I been complacent with standing on the sidelines of my own life, allowing each day that He blesses me with to pass by, void of any real commitment to the one who gave me life. No matter how many Sunday services I attend, or bible study sessions I involve myself in, if I’m just sucking down Gods word selfishly, and forgetting it a week later, than it profits no one.

23For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror;
24for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he is.
25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the word, this one will be blessed in what he does.
                                                                                                James 1:23-25

I would venture to guess that there are many Christians like myself, people who get caught up in the race of life, forgetting why they have a life at all. What if we stopped being content or unhappy with the direction of our lives and turned our lives journey over to the one who is ready to bestow upon us the perfect journey?

Most of us know the story of Moses, I’m sure you’ve watched the Ten Commandments every Easter on ABC just like I have, or at least once in your lifetime. You bought The Prince of Egypt for your kids, watched the Veggie Tales version during vacation bible school, and totally feel that Moses was some sort of Superhuman. But, he wasn’t. Moses was just a human, a human who allowed God to send him on the perfect journey. And contrary to my previous beliefs, he wasn’t excited to follow Gods journey, he was content right where he was.

Moses took his journey into his own hands while he was living in Egypt in the Pharaohs house. He saw the injustice that was being handed to his fellow Hebrew brothers and killed an Egyptian taskmaster. This led to him running away into the desert, and he eventually found himself married to a priests daughter, being a Sheppard for his father-in-laws flock. He was content, just living out his life, but no matter how far we run, God will find us, and God found Moses. God called to Moses, and Moses replied “Here I am.” (Exodus 3:4) God explained what he wanted Moses to do, the perfect journey that was designed for him. Moses questioned Gods plan five times before he finally relented to his will.

What if Moses hadn’t relented to Gods will? What if Noah didn’t build the ark? Or perhaps, what if Adam & Eve hadn’t eaten from the tree of life? God has blessed each of us with free will, an opportunity to stand on faith and embrace his journey or allow our life to be that of a vase with cracks, life being poured in but yet slipping through our fingers.

So, what if today you decide to take a step of faith and trust that God has a greater plan for you than you have for yourself? It might be a rough start, it might hurt a little, but I guarantee you God won’t lead you astray. What if today you finally answered Gods call? “Here I am, Lord.”

5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
6 “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send You to and say whatever I command you.
8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.

                                                                                              Jeremiah 1:5-8

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Aug 06 2012
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Devotional

That Sinking Feeling


My downfall in life is my insane love for a good television show, and the creation of Netflix has only made my addiction worst. One of my favorite shows to enjoy is How I Met Your Mother. It isn’t the most Christian show in the world but I enjoy a good laugh. This however is besides the point. During an episode, the main character, Ted Mosbey, finally decided to fulfill his dream and start his own architecture firm. But he was scared. He spent days doing unimportant tasks so that he could avoid doing the thing that frightened him the most, calling his first client. This was his dream at risk, fall or fly, fail or succeed. Suddenly the “someday” he had always talked about was here.

While I originally watched this episode months ago, it sounded extremely familiar when I ran across it again recently. Having just graduated from college back in May, I realized, once the ceremony was complete, my someday had arrived. I had stopped blogging to concentrate on my final semester, stopped writing because my time was limited, I kept telling myself and others, someday. Someday, once college was done, someday, once time was in my favor, someday I was going to pursue my dream. But time passed and I hadn’t touched a pen, keyboard, nothing. This was my someday, it was here, fall or fly, fail or succeed.

The devil is counting on all the Ted Mosbeys of the world to forfeit their someday instead of facing it. He is counting on us to keep putting off our someday, ignoring its knocking on our hearts. He’s counting on you to buckle underneath the pressure and concede to defeat. Because it’s difficult to stand at the beginning of a dream and not know how its going to pan out.

This is what Ted Mosbey had to say about it….

“There is this famous architecture story about this architect who designed this library. It was perfect. But every year it would sink a couple of inches into the ground. Eventually, the place was condemned. He forgot to account for the weight of the books.

This company is just me, what if I don’t account for the weight of the books. The longer I put off starting my own firm, the longer it can remain a dream, and not something I screwed up at. It’s like I’m failing before I even start.”

While this story has no factual background, it is a good comparison to the fear we face when confronted with our own personal Someday. But the one thing Ted Mosbey is forgetting is that we were created by The perfect architect and he never forgets to account for the weight of the books. Foolishly, we believe our architect didn’t create us to be a perfect masterpiece, but rather a flawed library, our infrastructure unprepared for the baggage we’ll bear.

When your walking with God you don’t have to worry about the weight of the world sinking you, killing your dream. Not only does God never allow your shoulders to bear a burden you can’t carry, but He also wants to shoulder that burden with you, even take it completely off your hands, if you let him.

And our Somedays don’t necessarily have to be something like starting our own business, your Someday can be the things of the ordinary that can cause doubt to sink to the pit of your belly, leaving you sick and worried about the direction of your future. It could be your dream of marrying that special person in your life, but the fear of sin and commitment holds you back from taking that step. It could be a dream filled with worry and feelings of inadequacy that comes with the possibility of having your first child, or third. Wherever you’re at in your journey of life, God has already accounted for every weight you’ll bear, he’s accounted for the wrong turns you’ll make, the hurts you’ll encounter, the doubts you’ll ponder late in the night. He has accounted for it all.

If God has planted a seed in you, let it grow, water it, let it flourish. When your chasing after God and the things of God then you can’t go wrong.

While starting his own firm was just another step in the story of how Ted met his wife, allow this moment to become one of many testimonies in your personal memoir, How I Met My Father.

17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
                                                                                                     James 1:17

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Aug 01 2012
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Devotional

Face It All


One of the dearest things in my life, besides family and God, is music. Music has a way of reaching me in my darkest of hours, lifting my spirits, turning my day around, reminding me of all the beauty and majesty in the world. And i’m sure that millions of people around the world would agree with me, music is amazing.

I have a song that reminds me of every significant moment in my life. I have songs that are significant in my life for no other reason than that something about them touches me, brings a tear to my eye, shoots me back to reality where life is bigger than this present moment. Music is powerful.

Now, I had a lovely wedding, with lovely music, and it was a very important day in my life. But when I listen to our first dance song, or the song I walked down the aisle to, I don’t get shivers. In my imagination I pictured that these two songs would always make me smile and take me back to the day I married my best friend, soul mate, my perfect piece. Instead, I hear these songs and think, cute. Sad, right?!

But it’s okay, because what makes me think of my husband is a Sade song that some how would always come on the radio when we were in a car together or when I was thinking about him while driving alone, way back when we were “just friends”.

There is another song, by Jagged Edge, that he had as a ringtone in his phone but never assigned to anyone, and I made it my goal to one day get that song as my ringtone… I did.

Then there is a song that I created a memory of with someone else, beautiful song but a horrible situation. But before my husband knew about the previous memory attached this song, he created a new memory for it, a better memory, and it replaced the memory that was there before. He now doesn’t like hearing the song because of the negative implications, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about the previous memory when the song first begins, but I love it that way. This song, by the Isley Brothers, reminds me how far I’ve come, how I went from a dark lonely place, to a new life with someone who loves me beyond all reason.

As I thought of this I thought of God, how great my God is. On the surface, God has that power to turn your mourning into dancing, your sorrow into joy, turn that situation you thought you’d never forget into nothing but a fleeting memory. But if you dig a bit deeper you’ll see more… God doesn’t care what your yesterday was, what bad choices you made, he only cares that you constantly stay fully wrapped in him, chasing after His grace and glory everyday.

No matter what your present circumstance is today it doesn’t have to define the rest of your life, or relationship, job experience, anything. God is in the business of changing circumstances, with renewed mercies every morning. If you allow God to move in your life then any issue that may rise against you He will face it all with you. Where a friend, parent, or spouse may disappoint you, leaving you alone to face the world alone, you have to remember the one that created the universe is bearing the brunt of your load, carrying you.

My wedding songs may not have been the best choice in my life but marrying my husband was. These songs don’t define our marriage, but there is a song that he and I slow danced to, in the middle of our sons room, that defines it all for me. As we swayed, surrounded by Mickey Mouse characters, our son squeezed inbetween us to join in our dance as Fred Hammond reiterated every word in my heart, We’ll Face It All.

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior.
The sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

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Jan 20 2012
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Devotional

Landslide


One of my all time favorite songs is “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac, although I personally enjoy the version by the Dixie Chicks, and even rock out to the Glee version with Gwyneth Paltrow. It might be the musical composition of the piece or perhaps the hauntingly beautiful lyrics that send me into a swaying trance whenever the song is played, but the odd thing about it is that I have no idea what the song is about.  I know every word by heart and will belt it out at a moments notice, yet if asked what the lyrics all mean I would have to guiltily confess my stupidity. While this would normally embarrass me, in this situation it doesn’t.  I love this song so much that I will confess my ignorance proudly and keep on singing. This to me is how I much approach my journey in life, and greater than that, God.

We have all been placed on this earth for a purpose and depending on our relationship with God we may or may not know what the purpose is yet. But there is one thing we do know, when we walk with God we will get to where He wants us to be, and in the process we should love the journey that you’re on. How many people love the journey though? Not life, but the journey. Every morning I wake up grateful to see another day, but everyday I wake up I’m not always grateful for the leg of the journey I am currently on. Maybe there is a trial I am fighting through, or a stage of life that is boring and mundane, or perhaps I’m just feeling down by small things like lost iPod’s, busy schedules, and an unmovable scale. Either way, sometimes the journey sucks and I hate it, not an ounce of love there. But if we are to be grateful for the breath of life that God breathed into us the day we were born and everyday after, we have to love the journey because it’s all for the glory of God. Like the old saying goes, our test is our testimony, without the lulls of the journey we could never understand or appreciate the greatness of our God. If your life was always perfect how could you ever know that your faith in God was real and not circumstantial. Love your journey, find happiness in your trials, this is how you exercise your faith.

” 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
Hebrews 11:6(NIV)

When you stand on your faith it’s like singing a song you don’t understand. You might not know why things are the way they are but you know if you do what you’re suppose to, everything will work in perfect harmony. A song is composed of different parts, musical composition, lyrics, vocal talent, everyone has a job to do; the piano player plays, guitarist strums, singer sings the lyrics. When one person drops out, then everything is off, it’s no longer the composition that was created.  If you’re the talent than you must sing, otherwise the lyrics will have no outlet.  God has created a song for all of us, where everything will work in perfect harmony, but you must keep singing, even when you don’t understand the lyrics that God has placed on your heart to sing. Like Dory said in “Finding Nemo”, just keep swimming, or in our case, just keep singing! Things will work out.

Two weeks ago I realized I lost my iPod, for the 3rd time! I looked everywhere I could think of, under couch cushions, in cars, under beds, in purses, backpacks, and diaper bags, no iPod. During this time I can’t say I ever got overwhelmed with sadness, but I was a little disappointed with myself since I had just lost my iPod touch back in July. Figuring that it was lost for good, since my son has little sticky fingers, I started to become accustomed with the idea that I would be sans iPod for a very long time.

Now, two weeks ago I also began the life changing task of getting my life organized, which wasn’t an easy feat for me. But every week I would try to clean at least one thing on my list of places that were overdue for a cleaning. I started with our kitchen table, then living room, bedroom, and finally reached my car. My car was so dirty, shameful dirty, so dirty that my husband refused to drive in it. So while at my parents I grabbed an old coat out a closet, stepped into the garage and began to tackle my task. Taking a break to text my husband I absentmindedly reach into the pocket of the old coat I was wearing and what do I find?! My iPod! And a key to my parents van that they had been looking for. Apparently the last time I remembered having my iPod I didn’t remember wearing the old coat I never wear.

Moral of the story is when you do what you’re suppose to, even in the midst of annoyance, anger, or happiness, things will always fall into place. Like I said, I never really wear that coat, it was in a closet I wouldn’t normally go looking for a coat in. Earlier that same day I had sent a text to a friend asking if she wanted that coat, the day I would have given her coat would have been about the only other way I would have found my iPod. Misplacing that iPod sucked, running without music is no fun, but misplacing that iPod was the best thing ever. I’m not going to lie, I actually wondered why God let me lose another iPod, but even though I didn’t understand the lyrics, I just kept singing, doing what I was suppose to.

While this might be a small thing, a materialistic thing, it is an amazing lesson to me. I’m not going to always understand why God allows certain things, but now I’ll always understand that I have to do what’s right, regardless of how I feel. This life is a blessing and this leg of my journey is frustrating but I love it, because I know God has a greater purpose, and my faith must be stronger than my sadness. So right now I might feel like my life is a landslide but maybe it’s the composition of how the stars, moon, sun, and earth work in unison or perhaps the hauntingly beautiful peace I feel in the midst of a storm that sends me into a swaying trance with my arms raised in worship. Either way, I must sing.

 1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Hebrews 12:1-3(NIV) 

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Jan 11 2012
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Devotional

Longing To Be Psalm 119


Our lives are forever changing, but there are a few things that will never change, God will always be there, and when you choose to believe that God will always be there, the devil will try everything he can to make you fall. Ultimately this truth will boil down to one fact, trust God.

This kind of trust isn’t the simple trust, the trust that our culture has programmed us to have, trust that disappears when things are bad. That isn’t the kind of trust that God is looking for. God wants us to trust Him no matter what, good or bad, because there will come a time when we won’t know up from down, when things are so bad we won’t believe we can make it one more step. All that God is asking is that we grab a hold of His hand, step into the scary unknown, believe that regardless of the outcome we’ll smile again, we’ll make it, we’ll survive.

There will be times when things are just a little rough, where we’ll be unsure of the right decision to make, where we’ll call out to God and He won’t answer. Times where the line between wrong and right is blurred beyond distinction. Even in those times we have to grab a hold of His Word, pray on it relentlessly, have faith that even if we don’t know the answer God is still with us, making a way, preparing our escape route, a shower of blessings.

This isn’t about always knowing His answer, sometimes He won’t give it, it’s about having an unshakable conviction in His existence. When you believe in His existence you must believe that everything will be okay. Why? Because we stand on the solid rock and foundation of His Word, which says just that:

 8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

 “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) 

There are hundreds of scriptures that could be placed here with these, because His Word is full of words of hope and love. Don’t be discouraged! Don’t allow dismay to seep into your belief like a rattlers poison, it may not kill you immediately but the devil is banking that with enough hard hits  dismay will fill your heart with enough anger that you’ll turn your back on God, curse His name, fall into disbelief. That’s why every morning we must wake up determined to smile, determined that no matter what the day brings we’ll praise God for His renewed mercies, determined to trust His perfect will.

Does this sound like we’re mindless sheep? Yes. We’re not mindless though, we have free will, God doesn’t make us stay, but He desires for us to follow Him, trust Him. The beauty is, we’re going to stray, and like the Parable of the Lost Sheep, Jesus is going to find us, wait on us, and rejoice when we find our way back into His arms.

 None of us is going to do this Christian walk perfectly, we will eventually lose faith or do something contrary to Gods Word. Question is, when these things occur how will we handle it? Praise Him. Be like Paul & Silas, when you find yourself in a time of despair and dismay, praise God, because you’re attitude just might be the very thing that not only sets you free, but someone else.

You may sink into defeat, but you don’t have to accept it. Perhaps you have already given in to temptation, but you don’t have to make your bed with it. Unlike New Year Resolutions, you don’t have to wait for a new year to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, nor do you need a new year to resolve to pray for forgiveness whenever you fall.  No new year needed, no new day needed, no new hour, minute, second, no waiting period, no line, just a decision to be better than you were a second ago.

Like the current season of The Biggest Loser, this is a time of NO EXCUSES. It’s time that we stop playing with God. Don’t allow present circumstances to distract you from the purpose and gifts that God has planned and planted in your life. There will be hard times, there will be good times, but remember the only thing to desire is that it all occurs in Gods time. Don’t only be like Paul & Silas, but be a Psalm 119 person, be filled with a desire to please God, not filled with excuses of why you can’t.

“169 May my cry come before you, LORD; 
   give me understanding according to your word. 
170 May my supplication come before you; 
   deliver me according to your promise. 
171 May my lips overflow with praise, 
   for you teach me your decrees. 
172 May my tongue sing of your word, 
   for all your commands are righteous. 
173 May your hand be ready to help me, 
   for I have chosen your precepts. 
174 I long for your salvation, LORD, 
   and your law gives me delight. 
175 Let me live that I may praise you, 
   and may your laws sustain me. 
176 I have strayed like a lost sheep. 
   Seek your servant, 
   for I have not forgotten your commands.”

Psalm 119:169-176 (NIV)

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Jan 03 2012
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A.K.A Bonnie & Clyde


I graduated High School in 2004 with grades that were lower than low, but with an ACT Score that said I was far smarter than I let on. In my first year of college I went to two different schools, and failed at both, only pulling a decent grades in Physical Fitness & Piano. This was what I did, I put in little work, little time, and accepted every bad grade I got, wasting thousands of dollars on an education I wasn’t trying to succeed at. Why? Because I was comfortable. I was comfortable being the black sheep child with bad grades, bad attitude, bad habits, I was comfortable with the low standard I had set for myself. Why? Because I was scared. I was filled with fear at the idea of trying and failing, so instead of raising the expectations of myself & failing, I decided it made more sense to set low expectations and never try. In my mind it made more sense to fail and be able to say “Well, I never tried, so whatever.” This mindset is why I am graduating college in 2012, 8 years after I graduated high school.

 

Sadly, this story isn’t uncommon. There are people all over the world living below their potential because they’re too afraid to try and rise to their calling. It might not be in school that people are settling for failure but it’s evident that our soceity is choosing failure & low standards over hard work & determination. The obesity rate is rising at an alarming speed, divorce has become more common than 5 year anniversaries, and success is now measured by how many reality show deals you can pull.

Speaking for myself, I know how hard it is to look in the mirror and see the reflection of someone I don’t like. Living in a overweight body that doesn’t reflect the energy and zest of my spirit, but I was too afraid to try and fail, I was comfortable being a bum and packing on the pounds. My fear and my comfort stopped me from being happy with myself, loving all of who I am, the reason why I am now 210lbs, having to fight my way down to 150.

Speaking for myself, I know how hard it is to make a marriage work, to fight through every argument, every financially tight period, and come out on the other side of the storm still able to say “I love you.” Marriage isn’t a picnic and I’ll be the first one to tell you that I’ve thrown the divorce word around more times than I count. I was comfortable being single, not being responsible to or for anyone but myself. But when it comes down to it that’s just my fear of letting anyone get close enough to hurt me. Loving someone enough that their leaving would break my heart and crush my spirit.

Fear & Comfort ride together like Bonnie & Clyde. They will be your downfall everytime, the things that will keep you dreaming but never allow you to go out and try to obtain those dreams. But God has not given us the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7), we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams, and yet we believe we aren’t, settling for the mediocre, living life in the comfort zone.

God told the Isrealites that He had a land for them, flowing with milk & honey, and all they had to do was trust Him. Even after all He had brought them through, they grumbled and complained because the land was occupied by people larger than them. They would rather return to Egypt, holding on to their fear & comfort like gold, rather than take God at His word. But Caleb said …”We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.” Numbers 13:30. Be like Caleb, have faith that whatever God said is yours, is yours. Don’t allow fear and comfort hold you back from reaching your dreams and “possessing the land”.

“But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:16-17

Do you get it? We have freedom from every bad habit, every fear, anything that keeps us from achieving the destiny that God has designed for us. That means it’s time for us to get up, ignore the haters, swat away the fear, dust our shoulders off, and start walking in it, because if God said it than it’s ours. Bishop T.D. Jakes said “In order to obtain the blessings attached to our destiny, we have to forsake our comfort zones.” The only fear you should have is fear of the Lord, and in Him you will find comfort. Never depart from His comfort. Have faith that God has called you to something greater. Forsake your dehabilitaing comfort zone for God’s supernatural comfort, let Bonnie & Clyde ride without you.

“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding- indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Proverbs 2:1-5

Jan 01 2012
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Devotional

In God We Trust


Welcome to a new year.  I’m excited to see what God has planned for my family and I this year. Like most people on New Years Eve I tend to evaluate the closing year, see where I made strides, where I fell, and if I got up.  Looking back on these things helps me to organize the goals that I am committed to achieving this year, not as resolutions for just 2012, but as life changes.

On the first day of 2009 I told my boyfriend that I felt 2009 was going to be a year of great change, not sure if it was going to be positive or negative change but it was going to be an adventure, and sure enough, it was.  In 2009 we lost a young family member, rebounded, began hitting the rough patch of our relationship, found out I was pregnant, and by the end of year we were married, expecting our first child. Talk about a year of change! While 2009 had its highs and lows, it was an extremely hard year emotionally, but that year molded my husband and I in ways we never could have imagined.  Looking back I’m grateful for those hard times, not always the situation, but grateful for the lessons learned.

2011 wasn’t anywhere close to the emotional trauma of 2009, it was a hard year, but honestly it was a great year.  If there was one thing I could define as the connection between ’09 and ’11 it would be that God showed up and showed out. This connection though isn’t in the normal sense that people usually think, I didn’t get money, I didn’t get a brand new car, or all my desires granted, I got something greater. In these two years God showed up in my life and showed out by molding me. These two years were hard in their own ways, but in both years God showed me that there is so much more in me than I could have thought, and so much more to Him.

In the past year God has pulled me from my comfort zone more times than I can count. He took my very essence and began pulling, prodding, pinching off excess,  molding me into the person I am created to be.  But the purpose of molding wasn’t to just push me in the direction I’m suppose to go, it’s to teach. For example, if I were to take an art class, every class wouldn’t be about molding, a few classes might be, but then eventually I’d move on to painting, sketching, all the different arenas that would help shape me into a well-rounded artist. The same thing occurs with God. He’s not just molding me for the sake of molding me, every time He begins prodding and poking it isn’t to just push me into the situations that will put me where I need to be, but to push me into situations that will ready me for the place I need to be. In 2009 God was molding me for Faith, in 2011 He was molding me for Trust.

But some might say, how can you have faith without trust, or vice versa.  Growing up in a Christian household I always believed in God and Jesus, the whole 9 yards, but there is a difference between Christianity being all you know, and deciding that you Know there is a God which is why you label yourself as Christian.  I believed in God, but I never really knew God for myself, I prayed, but wasn’t sure if there was really anyone out there. In 2009 He showed up and showed out, molded me to increase my faith in Him. After 2009 I had no doubt that there was a God that ruled the heavens and earth, and I never looked back on that belief. But just because I had faith that God existed didn’t mean that I trusted Him the way that I should. I’m an adult, I’m skeptical, I didn’t have the childlike faith that came equipped with trust. And in 2011 He began His prodding and poking, not to increase my faith, but to increase my trust.

I can’t begin to even explain how many circumstances arose that called for me to let go of the control and trust that God was going handle it. But I can tell you that I failed initially, almost every time. Or one time in particular, I succeeded, I said “God has this, my hands are off, it’s okay.” But a week later I was thinking to myself “No, they got off the hook too easy, it’s unfair.” Which of course led to weeks of unhappiness, when for the week that I trusted God things were great.

Control. I’m controlling, I need to be in control at all times or I feel my world won’t be right. But as I headed toward the end of 2011 I found that my controlling nature would be the death of me, literally. I was taking medicine for a ulcer, my hair began falling out, I was stressed, tired, overwhelmed, fearful. But I didn’t have to be.

If you read anywhere in the bible, God has a lot to say about trusting Him, and not just trusting Him, but praising Him in the meantime. Because He never promised that everyday would be easy, every obstacle simple, sometimes it’s going to get rough, you’re going to wonder if He’s there, if you can make, if the tears you’re crying are going to end one day, and the answer is yes. Yes to every question, He’s there, you’re going to make it, and the tears will cease, but the real question is will you trust Him? Will you trust Him enough to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re going to make it, that you don’t have to cry?  We don’t have to depend on ourselves to fix every situation, we don’t have to depend on our spouse, parents, whomever, depending on man is foolish.

“He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.”
Proverbs 28:26 NIV

There is absolute peace when you give your trust to God, and after the events of the past year, especially the last 3 months, I don’t want to go back to living a life without trusting God. Freedom, peace, happiness, strength, all qualities that I gained when I turned away from my need for control. This is not to say that I’m 100% control free now, but when I feel my urge to take control rising up, I’m able to find my way back to God and back into His strength, which is far stronger than my own.

Don’t let 2012 be a replay of 2011, don’t even let it begin the same way 2011 ended. Decide today that God is the head of your life and you don’t have to worry, trust that He’s holding you, and believe that He’s going to fix it. That’s my hope for everyone in this new year, including myself, that we’ll trust God no matter the storm that may arise. Let Go, Let God.

“5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
KJV

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Nov 08 2011
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Devotional

Booty-Jesus-Booty


One of the funniest things I’ve heard from a Christian speaker is the concept of “Booty-Jesus-Booty”.  This concept was covered by author Jon Acuff in his book, Stuff Christians Like.  Acuff explained that while he lived in Atlanta, their local rap station would have their inspirational moment, so he would hear I’m in Love with a Stripper, followed by Jesus Can Work it Out, then it’d go right on back to something like Lil’ Wayne’s, Lollipop. When I heard this message from Acuff at my church back in May/June I completely started to feel convicted… and had a good laugh. Here I was claiming God as the head of my life, but then I’d be the girl driving in her car, blasting every vulgar and exploitative rap song out. How could I be a Booty-Jesus-Booty person? Honestly, I never thought listening to rap was wrong, but when you hear Booty-Jesus-Booty it just paints a totally new picture in your mind about how wrong you are. It wasn’t until this picture was painted that I realized how much the music was effecting my mind and my relationship with God. He already said “Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27(KJV) and I was doing exactly that by listening to whatever I wanted to.

About two years ago I was driving home from a doctors appointment with a friend. She and I were talking about how having sexual relations before marriage have major consequences. We both agreed that one of the major contributors to our indiscretions was our choice to listen to a particular genre of R&B, slow jams, or the quiet storm, or as Taye Diggs said in Brown Sugar “Slow Jams Deluxe get the draws mixtape.”  This music, I swear, has not so subtle subliminal messages programmed into each song which says “Do whatever you’re thinking right now.” Whenever you’re listening to a “Slow Jams Deluxe get the draws mixtape” you are only thinking of ONE thing, and when you’re not married, those thoughts are the LAST thing you should be thinking, but you can’t turn it off.

Its situations like this that prove you have to be extremely careful with what you allow in your spirit.  I gave up listening to rap, and I realized that my relationship with God not only improved, but I also stopped cursing.  A month ago I decided I would try to listening to rap that didn’t involve cursing or things I didn’t agree with, which gave me very few options, but even with the few options I allowed myself, I found that I was sliding back into old habits. I would try to reason with myself, say  I would only listen to it while I’m running, but eventually it started creeping back into my everyday life. I would want to hear just that one song while I was at work, or just one playlist while I was driving, and after about a week I saw that without even knowing it I had allowed myself to welcome it all back into my life. No longer was it just the songs I didn’t agree with, or ones that didn’t have cursing, it was all rap songs, all the stuff I would listen to before I decided to stop listening to it.

But that is how the devil works, he looks for that one area to grab a hold of you with, and he doesn’t even have to try hard. We have so many vices that we’ve come to the place that we don’t even realize that they are a vice anymore.  Have I always been a Christian? Yes, I was raised a Christian. Still I had these areas that didn’t include Christ, and I was okay with it because I felt He would understand. Laughable right? Sad part of it is I honestly thought that. Rap music? I just listen to it for the beat. Binge eating? I’m just emotional. Sex before marriage? Well the bible didn’t exactly say no sex, it was just implied and well that’s an assumption and you know what happens when you assume. I had so many excuses of why I lived a certain way. Once I came to the understanding that they were just that, excuses, I came to the conclusion that my Booty-Jesus-Booty ways wasn’t just my music choices, it was my lifestyle.

Wow, a Booty-Jesus-Booty lifestyle? God ripped into me…

15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
Revelation 3:15-16(NIV)

Ouch, Revelation indeed…

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other…  
Matthew 6:24(NIV) 

Excuse Alert!!! But didn’t Paul say….

22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.
1 Corinthians 9:19 (NIV) 

So I’m okay, right??

10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ
Galatians 1:18 (NIV)

Not quite.

God has called me to be greater than a Booty-Jesus-Booty woman, and that is a calling I have to walk out every single moment, of every single day. This isn’t just for myself, but for my son who I am suppose to be an example for. Before I even had my son I wasn’t suppose to be living for myself, and now that I am a parent, not only am I suppose to be setting an example for my son, but for everyone else around me, strangers and all. My life isn’t less because I don’t choose free will over God’s will, my life is greater. That’s the message I need to live out, when I’m tired, when I’m broke, when people are working my nerves. In those times I could throw up my hands in defeat, or I can throw up my hands in worship and allow God to move. But in allowing Him to move I have to know that it doesn’t guarantee the outcome I might desire. If I’m broke that might not mean I win the lottery, and if people are working my nerves, that doesn’t mean God smites them, it just means that His moving guarantees that HIS desirable outcome is coming into fruition. Because if someone knows I’m upset, but yet I’m still smiling, that can be the very thing that opens their heart to God.

So, what it all boils down to is free will or Christs will? I hope you choose the latter, don’t live the Booty-Jesus-Booty lifestyle.

15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:15(NIV) 

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