Snagged from 
scyndariel... (damn, can't remember how to linky or cut. Wow, it's been a while...)
And again, thanks toscyndariel because she reminded me how to linky AND cut! ( Read more...Collapse )
scyndariel... (damn, can't remember how to linky or cut. Wow, it's been a while...)And again, thanks to
scyndariel because she reminded me how to linky AND cut! ( Read more...Collapse )The Challenge:
Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody else on your friends list has done. See if anybody else responds with "I've done that." If they have, you need to add another!(2.b., 2.c., etc...) Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what unique things they've done in their life.
Heh... yeah, I'm alive. No, life is not good. Yes, I will survive.
1. Won a belching contest in the Army Band.
2. Was close enough to a Thunderbird in flight that you can almost read the pilot's name in the picture I took. (cleared the house by MAYBE 50 feet)
3. Wrote reviews. For "marital aids".
Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody else on your friends list has done. See if anybody else responds with "I've done that." If they have, you need to add another!(2.b., 2.c., etc...) Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what unique things they've done in their life.
Heh... yeah, I'm alive. No, life is not good. Yes, I will survive.
1. Won a belching contest in the Army Band.
2. Was close enough to a Thunderbird in flight that you can almost read the pilot's name in the picture I took. (cleared the house by MAYBE 50 feet)
3. Wrote reviews. For "marital aids".
- Current Mood:
stressed
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Okay, I'm going to try to keep this brief to reduce the chance of uncontrollable tears. They've already given me a headache today.
1. Eldest tadpole has The Flu. No, not "the flu", THE FLU. None of this crap we usually CALL the flu. Actual, painful, ridiculously high fever causing flu. We've just dropped approximately $350 between the visit and the copay for the meds, since the whole family had to get put on Tamiflu.
2. I've spent two days in tears over one of my classes. I called my scholarship office this morning before hardly anyone was there and when I called back got put on the line with the Director. In the first place, she REMEMBERS me from a short visit she did on campus in the middle of last term, and she was able to give me some options and reassure me that one crappy class wasn't going to hurt my standing. And mentioned things she remembered about her visit (there were at least 10 of us at that luncheon-ish thing, she wasn't taking notes, and now I love her more than ever) like how my mom was leaving for Texas for four months (she's there now, and in fact I should have a new nephew AND niece in less than 12 hours) and a few other random things I mentioned in passing. Holy wow.
Okay, so I talked to her, she helped a lot, I think these people are the COOLEST EVER and then I had to go to The Class. I could hardly pay attention because I'm so upset over it. Afterwards, I got about 30 seconds with the instructor to quickly and quietly explain my distress. He's sympathetic but I had trouble getting my point across because I was desperately trying not to cry in front of his next class.
I then went to my advisor, who reassured me that I'm a stellar student and a good person (really, I kinda needed to hear that from him since he's had me as a student) and mentioned that I should go plop myself in a chair at the department head's office. Department head has also had me as a student but has never met me until today (they were both web classes) but I swallowed my terror and followed the advice. The department head told me that whatever I decide, he will back me. Tells me to go request a "W" grade and withdraw from the course if that's what I want to do.
I go to the registrar's office and get a big fat DENIED from the girl behind the desk. Then I give her a little bit more of the sob story (which truly is a hellacious story) and she tells me that if I want to give it a shot, I can always petition the Academic Progress and Petition Committee. They're meeting at 2 PM tomorrow, so if I get them a formal letter of petition they can discuss it at the meeting.
I get home, deal with the 104.5 degree temperature and subsequent immediate care visit (the walk-in at the doctor's office closed five minutes before I took his temp...) for the kiddo, get home, rush out to get meds, get home, administer meds, get tadpole to bed (special thanks to Daddy for getting the smaller tadpole to bed while I was out getting meds) and start writing the petition letter. By the time I'm done, I'm sobbing out of frustration, sadness, and guilt for being "mean" about my instructor. I did my best to give the situation as it is. I really really like the professor. He's brilliant and charismatic and really does care about his students. The problem is that he's been a flake this term (and for good reasons that I'm not going to pry about, suffice it to say he is ill and will never again be well. Now you know as much as I do) among other things, and I haven't learned squat.
At this point, I start wondering if I'm doing the right thing. So I change my mind just a bit. I finish writing my petition and set it aside. I'm going to call the prof in the morning and make one more attempt at communication and getting assistance. If that doesn't work, then I file the petition. If it does, I make the effort to survive the class and in particular make it known that I expect help during the last two lab sessions we have.
3. My accountant's office, bless their souls, accidentally deposited the check I had postdated for March 7th (the day we're supposed to get our tax returns) last Thursday, making us overdrawn. Even though I had double checked with them that I could do that. Truthfully, it WAS an accident and I am no longer upset about it because the receptionist had been fired the day before I came in to write the check and others were covering the front desk that didn't know the normal procedures. They will be covering the overdraft charge, but I really could have used that money to pay for the doctor. Luckily, the immediate care people (stupid paying up front crap) allowed me to postdate THAT check. And I double checked with them, actually triple checked and explained why I was triple checking, that it would be okay to do that and I didn't have to worry about it being deposited early.
4. I realize again that I can't go to class tomorrow, and start freaking out because we're getting closer to finals and in the hardest chapter of the term in Accounting. I email my professor (who is also virtually inept at communication unless you corner her in person) and tell her that I am going to try to catch her by phone tomorrow morning during her office hours with questions. I doubt that she'll answer the phone, and end up deciding to blog rather than do the homework. Blogging about all this is somehow cathartic right now, and I feel like if people actually read this (don't know if anyone does, but I can pretend) then at least someone knows how I'm feeling and might send good vibes this way. So even if you don't have time to comment, please think of me for a moment and send a good vibe my direction. Thanks.
1. Eldest tadpole has The Flu. No, not "the flu", THE FLU. None of this crap we usually CALL the flu. Actual, painful, ridiculously high fever causing flu. We've just dropped approximately $350 between the visit and the copay for the meds, since the whole family had to get put on Tamiflu.
2. I've spent two days in tears over one of my classes. I called my scholarship office this morning before hardly anyone was there and when I called back got put on the line with the Director. In the first place, she REMEMBERS me from a short visit she did on campus in the middle of last term, and she was able to give me some options and reassure me that one crappy class wasn't going to hurt my standing. And mentioned things she remembered about her visit (there were at least 10 of us at that luncheon-ish thing, she wasn't taking notes, and now I love her more than ever) like how my mom was leaving for Texas for four months (she's there now, and in fact I should have a new nephew AND niece in less than 12 hours) and a few other random things I mentioned in passing. Holy wow.
Okay, so I talked to her, she helped a lot, I think these people are the COOLEST EVER and then I had to go to The Class. I could hardly pay attention because I'm so upset over it. Afterwards, I got about 30 seconds with the instructor to quickly and quietly explain my distress. He's sympathetic but I had trouble getting my point across because I was desperately trying not to cry in front of his next class.
I then went to my advisor, who reassured me that I'm a stellar student and a good person (really, I kinda needed to hear that from him since he's had me as a student) and mentioned that I should go plop myself in a chair at the department head's office. Department head has also had me as a student but has never met me until today (they were both web classes) but I swallowed my terror and followed the advice. The department head told me that whatever I decide, he will back me. Tells me to go request a "W" grade and withdraw from the course if that's what I want to do.
I go to the registrar's office and get a big fat DENIED from the girl behind the desk. Then I give her a little bit more of the sob story (which truly is a hellacious story) and she tells me that if I want to give it a shot, I can always petition the Academic Progress and Petition Committee. They're meeting at 2 PM tomorrow, so if I get them a formal letter of petition they can discuss it at the meeting.
I get home, deal with the 104.5 degree temperature and subsequent immediate care visit (the walk-in at the doctor's office closed five minutes before I took his temp...) for the kiddo, get home, rush out to get meds, get home, administer meds, get tadpole to bed (special thanks to Daddy for getting the smaller tadpole to bed while I was out getting meds) and start writing the petition letter. By the time I'm done, I'm sobbing out of frustration, sadness, and guilt for being "mean" about my instructor. I did my best to give the situation as it is. I really really like the professor. He's brilliant and charismatic and really does care about his students. The problem is that he's been a flake this term (and for good reasons that I'm not going to pry about, suffice it to say he is ill and will never again be well. Now you know as much as I do) among other things, and I haven't learned squat.
At this point, I start wondering if I'm doing the right thing. So I change my mind just a bit. I finish writing my petition and set it aside. I'm going to call the prof in the morning and make one more attempt at communication and getting assistance. If that doesn't work, then I file the petition. If it does, I make the effort to survive the class and in particular make it known that I expect help during the last two lab sessions we have.
3. My accountant's office, bless their souls, accidentally deposited the check I had postdated for March 7th (the day we're supposed to get our tax returns) last Thursday, making us overdrawn. Even though I had double checked with them that I could do that. Truthfully, it WAS an accident and I am no longer upset about it because the receptionist had been fired the day before I came in to write the check and others were covering the front desk that didn't know the normal procedures. They will be covering the overdraft charge, but I really could have used that money to pay for the doctor. Luckily, the immediate care people (stupid paying up front crap) allowed me to postdate THAT check. And I double checked with them, actually triple checked and explained why I was triple checking, that it would be okay to do that and I didn't have to worry about it being deposited early.
4. I realize again that I can't go to class tomorrow, and start freaking out because we're getting closer to finals and in the hardest chapter of the term in Accounting. I email my professor (who is also virtually inept at communication unless you corner her in person) and tell her that I am going to try to catch her by phone tomorrow morning during her office hours with questions. I doubt that she'll answer the phone, and end up deciding to blog rather than do the homework. Blogging about all this is somehow cathartic right now, and I feel like if people actually read this (don't know if anyone does, but I can pretend) then at least someone knows how I'm feeling and might send good vibes this way. So even if you don't have time to comment, please think of me for a moment and send a good vibe my direction. Thanks.
Alekz was nearly yelled at this evening when he opened up his door after he had been completely put to bed. Nearly. He was up for a good reason, though.
My little boy has lost his first tooth.
It's been loose for about a week now, but I was expecting another week. Apparently little boys fiddle with loose teeth so much that they come out dang fast. We put it under his pillow and I've set a quarter on the kitchen table to replace it later tonight.
There's a lump in my throat and I'm not so much okay with this part of having to watch my kids grow up. At all.
My little boy has lost his first tooth.
It's been loose for about a week now, but I was expecting another week. Apparently little boys fiddle with loose teeth so much that they come out dang fast. We put it under his pillow and I've set a quarter on the kitchen table to replace it later tonight.
There's a lump in my throat and I'm not so much okay with this part of having to watch my kids grow up. At all.
- Current Mood:
thoughtful
It's going to be a long day today, but that's alright with me.
Started this morning with the Bug waking us up before the alarm, requesting cough medicine and help blowing his nose. Okeydokey then. Afterwards, he snuggled for a bit until the alarm went off and we all had to get up anyhow.
I got to school around 8:30 this morning, mostly to have a little extra time to rest and center before I have a counselor's appointment and class. Later, I'll have a few hours again to mess with homework or what have you before my programming lab this afternoon. This evening, I have decided that I need some time away and so I'll be going to the two hour fun night that the Student Health Center puts on at the clinic - although there's a theme this week, I'm hoping I can find someone who crochets that wouldn't mind showing me a few things about what I might be doing wrong with some of my projects. I pulled out probably 6 inches of a scarf I had started last night because I can't figure out where I'm losing stitches. Ah well, it was fun to work on while it lasted.
I feel pretty guilty about going to this thing because I won't be home to put the kids to bed, and CJ has been pretty adamant about Mommy putting him to bed lately. I need a break, though, and this should be a decent way to do it. I wish there was a Game Developers Club meeting tonight, but there isn't. Oh well.
Moods are okay, I hate the ringing-ears side effect of the meds, but it only really bothers me when I'm trying to sleep or when there are no other noises around. The meds are still finding the right balance, I think; once or twice a day I hit a really horrible low that lasts for about 3-5 minutes and then passes. No manic symptoms or overly happy bits, but I am evening out quite a lot except for the occasional dip and those weird unexplained lows. I figure in a few weeks it will have evened out and not do that so much. If it doesn't, that's what followups are for.
I had a meeting with Bug's principal, teacher, speech path, and school behavioral person yesterday to discuss his behavior at school, which has gotten worse as the year progresses. It's material for another entry, but realistically I'm glad I called the meeting, I am really turning around my opinion of the principal, and I feel like almost everyone there is on the same page and willing to do what it takes to help him. Anyone who isn't will likely answer to the principal, especially now that she is not only aware of my concern but sees why. I am mother, hear me beat the shit out of anyone who refuses to do their job and help my kid. I feel bad that it took me getting on meds to do anything about it, but I can do something now.
Started this morning with the Bug waking us up before the alarm, requesting cough medicine and help blowing his nose. Okeydokey then. Afterwards, he snuggled for a bit until the alarm went off and we all had to get up anyhow.
I got to school around 8:30 this morning, mostly to have a little extra time to rest and center before I have a counselor's appointment and class. Later, I'll have a few hours again to mess with homework or what have you before my programming lab this afternoon. This evening, I have decided that I need some time away and so I'll be going to the two hour fun night that the Student Health Center puts on at the clinic - although there's a theme this week, I'm hoping I can find someone who crochets that wouldn't mind showing me a few things about what I might be doing wrong with some of my projects. I pulled out probably 6 inches of a scarf I had started last night because I can't figure out where I'm losing stitches. Ah well, it was fun to work on while it lasted.
I feel pretty guilty about going to this thing because I won't be home to put the kids to bed, and CJ has been pretty adamant about Mommy putting him to bed lately. I need a break, though, and this should be a decent way to do it. I wish there was a Game Developers Club meeting tonight, but there isn't. Oh well.
Moods are okay, I hate the ringing-ears side effect of the meds, but it only really bothers me when I'm trying to sleep or when there are no other noises around. The meds are still finding the right balance, I think; once or twice a day I hit a really horrible low that lasts for about 3-5 minutes and then passes. No manic symptoms or overly happy bits, but I am evening out quite a lot except for the occasional dip and those weird unexplained lows. I figure in a few weeks it will have evened out and not do that so much. If it doesn't, that's what followups are for.
I had a meeting with Bug's principal, teacher, speech path, and school behavioral person yesterday to discuss his behavior at school, which has gotten worse as the year progresses. It's material for another entry, but realistically I'm glad I called the meeting, I am really turning around my opinion of the principal, and I feel like almost everyone there is on the same page and willing to do what it takes to help him. Anyone who isn't will likely answer to the principal, especially now that she is not only aware of my concern but sees why. I am mother, hear me beat the shit out of anyone who refuses to do their job and help my kid. I feel bad that it took me getting on meds to do anything about it, but I can do something now.
Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in with? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as SG-1 (Stargate) You are versatile and diverse in your thinking. You have an open mind to that which seems highly unlikely and accept it with a bit of humor. Now if only aliens would stop trying to take over your body.
|
Let's hope not, or I'll never get off of it. Started Wellbutrin XL yesterday morning. I'm on my second dose and to be perfectly honest, I can already detect a change. I won't complain one bit, except to whine about it being necessary. A change this significant (I woke up this morning and didn't have thoughts already running around in my head about how I could die today) this early is nice, but it's frustrating knowing that I have to do this again. Also, I had forgotten one of the side effects. During the day, I don't notice it as much, but my ears ringing to wake the dead as I'm trying to sleep is particularly annoying.
My brain is still making some major adjustments, so I don't expect to be where I want to be for some time yet - I am using today as a bit of a benchmark though, so I'm going to be paying special attention to my concentration levels, ability to focus and pay attention to my instructors, and also to my understanding of the materials covered in statistics. Mood wise, I am trying to listen to my body. I'm going to keep track of how many times I either think about dying or find myself fighting unexplained tears today. Although I wasn't paying attention before the meds, I would have to say the total of both those things was about 60-75 times a day in the last week.
I am proud of myself for seeking help when I realized I couldn't control the depression. I am angry that I couldn't control it myself. I am upset that this is necessary. I hate being broken. I hate feeling like I'm sinking in a mire of horrible thoughts that from the outside look like nothing but a whiner's pity party. I don't like how I was acting or feeling.
Things are on the upswing now. I have a lot of work to do with myself to recover from the damage I did to myself in the period of time that I let the depression go unchecked. My marriage needs a little bit of help now too because of that. Maybe next time I shouldn't try to cope on my own for so long?
I have several of you to thank for reminding me that I'm not a failure if I need help. I have one of you in particular to thank: James, you might not realize it but had you not picked up the phone that night, I would not be here explaining that it's getting better. It will get better, and I have accepted that I can't do any of this alone.
My brain is still making some major adjustments, so I don't expect to be where I want to be for some time yet - I am using today as a bit of a benchmark though, so I'm going to be paying special attention to my concentration levels, ability to focus and pay attention to my instructors, and also to my understanding of the materials covered in statistics. Mood wise, I am trying to listen to my body. I'm going to keep track of how many times I either think about dying or find myself fighting unexplained tears today. Although I wasn't paying attention before the meds, I would have to say the total of both those things was about 60-75 times a day in the last week.
I am proud of myself for seeking help when I realized I couldn't control the depression. I am angry that I couldn't control it myself. I am upset that this is necessary. I hate being broken. I hate feeling like I'm sinking in a mire of horrible thoughts that from the outside look like nothing but a whiner's pity party. I don't like how I was acting or feeling.
Things are on the upswing now. I have a lot of work to do with myself to recover from the damage I did to myself in the period of time that I let the depression go unchecked. My marriage needs a little bit of help now too because of that. Maybe next time I shouldn't try to cope on my own for so long?
I have several of you to thank for reminding me that I'm not a failure if I need help. I have one of you in particular to thank: James, you might not realize it but had you not picked up the phone that night, I would not be here explaining that it's getting better. It will get better, and I have accepted that I can't do any of this alone.
- Current Location:school
- Current Music:Dropkick Murphys - Spicy McHaggis Jig
Ick. The bronchitis is mostly gone, but it seems to have only left just in time for the flu to hit me like a mack truck. I spent Sunday completely incapacitated, yesterday more or less worthless to the world, and today I'm feeling well enough to go to class, head for the bathroom shortly after class, and go home to a hot-water-heater-killing shower and a short nap before Jason's pre-op appointment.
Someday I'll get better and this will be just a painful memory. Missing class yesterday was not what I wanted to do, but I think it was better for me than to try to go and be chewing back the non-food I haven't been eating all through class.
And now it's time for a nap. All will be well. I'm sure of it. I just have to get through the icky junk first, right? (Oh, and I'm worried about Dakota for Grampa's sake, and pissed that I'm not well enough to go to the game developer's club meeting tonight where they're doing fun stuff, and hating the fact that I apparently have the worst immune system known to mankind as of the start of this term. WTF? I've been in college for over a year and NOW I'm getting sick as a dog?)
Someday I'll get better and this will be just a painful memory. Missing class yesterday was not what I wanted to do, but I think it was better for me than to try to go and be chewing back the non-food I haven't been eating all through class.
And now it's time for a nap. All will be well. I'm sure of it. I just have to get through the icky junk first, right? (Oh, and I'm worried about Dakota for Grampa's sake, and pissed that I'm not well enough to go to the game developer's club meeting tonight where they're doing fun stuff, and hating the fact that I apparently have the worst immune system known to mankind as of the start of this term. WTF? I've been in college for over a year and NOW I'm getting sick as a dog?)
I spent a good chunk of my night awake. I went to bed a little after eleven, having stayed up doing programming homework. It wasn't bad, but I have one chunk of code that won't return the right info. Yeurgh. What a pain - I hope I can find some time today before lab to fix it, although I'm going to need help to do it.
So, here I am in bed, and I keep hearing my mom on the phone. Apparently she stayed up until 1:30 talking (geez, Mom!) and the person she was talking to couldn't hear her, so she raised her volume regularly. I would be almost asleep and then she'd yell into the phone and jar me awake. I kept considering going in there to ask her to shush, but I'd start to fall asleep again.
At 3:15, I woke myself up coughing and took a small dose of the codeine laced cough syrup they gave me for my bronchitis. Icky. Started to help, so I fell back asleep.
At 4:00, CJ woke up coughing and crying. I went in and rocked him for a while, cleaned up his nose, and gave him some Tylenol since the doctor said I can't give him any cold medicine. Makes for one unhappy baby. Got back to bed a little after 4:30.
Got back up around 7 AM when Jason got up to go to work. Yikes, I didn't even hear the alarm I was so dead to the world. Got Bug set up for school, saw him off to the bus, and despite desperately wanting to go back to bed, finished getting myself ready for school.
I got here and studied for my accounting exam that starts in ten minutes. It shouldn't be too difficult, but I'm so dang tired that I'm worried I'll bomb easy questions. I also worked on the programming problem that's been plaguing me. I actually dreamed in code last night, and still didn't have a solution this morning. Now I'm sitting in the classroom, waiting for my exam, and wishing I had half a brain to do this with. I'm typing horrendously (the backspace button is getting overused today) and my eyes are drooping despite an extra shot in this morning's mocha. Send good thoughts this way.
Maybe I shouldn't have taken the cough syrup; it's probably made me even duller than I would have been, but I thought I could get sleep after taking it. I really hate taking the stuff anyways - drugged sleep is almost as bad as no sleep.
Can you tell I'm tired? I'm rambling.
Finally, I wanted to mention that I do love all of you. Since I'm too tired to be much depressed right now. Or something. Accrual based accounting wishes it was as sexy as auditory tracers. If you're not Jaileigh, who doesn't even read this, you won't get it, but that's okay since I don't either.
So, here I am in bed, and I keep hearing my mom on the phone. Apparently she stayed up until 1:30 talking (geez, Mom!) and the person she was talking to couldn't hear her, so she raised her volume regularly. I would be almost asleep and then she'd yell into the phone and jar me awake. I kept considering going in there to ask her to shush, but I'd start to fall asleep again.
At 3:15, I woke myself up coughing and took a small dose of the codeine laced cough syrup they gave me for my bronchitis. Icky. Started to help, so I fell back asleep.
At 4:00, CJ woke up coughing and crying. I went in and rocked him for a while, cleaned up his nose, and gave him some Tylenol since the doctor said I can't give him any cold medicine. Makes for one unhappy baby. Got back to bed a little after 4:30.
Got back up around 7 AM when Jason got up to go to work. Yikes, I didn't even hear the alarm I was so dead to the world. Got Bug set up for school, saw him off to the bus, and despite desperately wanting to go back to bed, finished getting myself ready for school.
I got here and studied for my accounting exam that starts in ten minutes. It shouldn't be too difficult, but I'm so dang tired that I'm worried I'll bomb easy questions. I also worked on the programming problem that's been plaguing me. I actually dreamed in code last night, and still didn't have a solution this morning. Now I'm sitting in the classroom, waiting for my exam, and wishing I had half a brain to do this with. I'm typing horrendously (the backspace button is getting overused today) and my eyes are drooping despite an extra shot in this morning's mocha. Send good thoughts this way.
Maybe I shouldn't have taken the cough syrup; it's probably made me even duller than I would have been, but I thought I could get sleep after taking it. I really hate taking the stuff anyways - drugged sleep is almost as bad as no sleep.
Can you tell I'm tired? I'm rambling.
Finally, I wanted to mention that I do love all of you. Since I'm too tired to be much depressed right now. Or something. Accrual based accounting wishes it was as sexy as auditory tracers. If you're not Jaileigh, who doesn't even read this, you won't get it, but that's okay since I don't either.
- Current Location:school
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Kill her.
It will be better for everyone in the long run