It's video games. Specifically, video games you can win or finish. That's ruined everything. When we were kids, there was one thing we all knew: The Space Invaders were coming. Yes, you could shoot at them, you could destroy them, and you might slow them down a little, but then they would resume their inexorable march. You couldn't stop them. You couldn't win against them.

Missile Command, as well. It only had one ending: the flashing words THE END accompanying the inevitable nuclear holocaust. Yes, you could somewhat postpone this, but it was going to happen. The question was not whether you'd fail, but how much time would pass until you fail.

This taught us the reality of life. There is no winning. You'll never be on top of the mountain holding the sword and the princess with your foot planted on the corpse of the villain. There is no final boss who is difficult to defeat but still possible to defeat. There is only an endless marching horde of space invaders, bearing down on you until you submit.

Calm down. Breathe. This isn't the end of a beautiful love life that ended suddenly, this is the beginning of the rest of your goddam life, and it's only going to get better from here. You're free. Realize that. This girl wanted to marry you, and she's willing to fuck a dipshit guitar teacher behind your back?

You dodged a massive fucking bullet, man. The really huge Super Mario kind with the eyes on the side, where you had to run and duck into the little divit to avoid shrinking. You did that. You got into that divit, and you're still super sized, and you can break blocks with your face. Now get out there and step on some fucking turtles."

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Why can't I sleep?