codenamestasis

	I fought so hard, I didn’t want to leave that hospital at all. I refused for as long as I could, until my mother finally agreed to let me go live with my father, and I meant directly from the hospital. I didn’t ever want to go back to her house again. So here I was. I knew my stepmother, Val, hated me and I was stuck in the car with her all the way from New Hampshire to San Diego, California. She put a good face on for my father but when he wasn’t around she was a complete bitch. I thought she was just in a bad mood this summer but I quickly found out that she seemed to always be in a bad mood and specifically toward me.( Read moreCollapse )

Inspirational Song | Linkin Park, “One Step Closer”

	Walk, Blue Line trolley, 933 bus. Stay with people so I don’t get mugged, not that I carry anything but a phone, but that would do for some people. I kept my hooded shawl over my cozy sweater, making sure my hair wasn’t visible. I was going to Imperial Beach again. It wasn’t a fancy beach, you couldn’t even swim there because of all the sewage being dumped in it and walking on it at night was a nightmare–no really–roaches all over the sand in certain areas.. but during the day, it was the beach I loved, probably because of the general lack of crowds. All I knew was that I needed to ground myself. This last year was shocking. My magic was getting stronger but it was also getting more and more chaotic. Past life regressions were making me unstable so the witches were reluctant to do any more for now. I couldn’t really even do much other than “shine.” I was becoming much more snappy and irritable with some things but I’d seen that people healed very fast when I was in their presence so I’d been sticking around in the underground or near homeless encampments drawing and drinking tea at nearby tables and trying to remain inconspicuous. I knew my presence helped but I felt so hopeless lately.( Read moreCollapse )

	I felt off. It felt like I was drowning in despair. This wasn’t me, I had no idea what it was. I was usually able to bounce back and shine for people, spread light and stuff, but this was infecting me like a virus. Everyone I knew, all the gamers and internet communities, they were miserable. If we spoke up about anything going on, we’d be targeted. Things had been bad for so long and just when we thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. It got worse every time. The U.S. government was slowly slipping into overt fascism. It was different than the silent, creeping fascism before, now they were just being honest about it all. They weren’t even bothering to hide the literal concentration camps being planned in several places. They knew better to put one in Washington State, that’s for damn sure. Between Seattle and Portland there would be hell to pay.. but California was a silent target. My light and happy demeanor went from shiny and happy-go-lucky to a fiery blast waiting to go off.( Read moreCollapse )

Inspirational Song | Rage Against the Machine, “Calm Like a Bomb”

	A human woman with white hair kept appearing in my mind lately. She had been in my dreams since I was very young, but now I saw images of her whether or not I was asleep. This started about 8 years ago when I felt something in my soul pop and shine fiercely, then again about a year ago, brighter that time. I was currently one of the fiercest light-fighters but no one knew who I was. They had entire light infantries that couldn’t do the work in 7 moons that I could do in the twinkle of a star, but I didn’t want the distortions to devour me. Staying hidden wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity.( Read moreCollapse )

	I smirked and bowed as Heidi–Lady Heidi–side-eyed me. No one else could have seen it but I saw her grin the tiniest of grins back as she turned away. I suppressed a snarl as she forced a smile at the man who was trying to win her hand in marriage; Jonathan. His father was a Duke and his family was very used to getting what they wanted. Heidi was beautiful and came from noble blood, so of course he wanted her. He’d never spoken to her, he’d picked her out like a prized pig for slaughter.
	Heidi’s family was weird, they were the outcasts in their royal family. At first they tried to get back in with them, fearing the repercussions of being cast out in the first place, but when a family treats their staff well, their staff will inevitably defend them, and they did. They didn’t just treat us well, they were kind to us, they paid us and gave us time off, something no other servants in the area got. It was looked down upon to treat servants as well as Heidi’s family did, those who did were sometimes seen as weak, but they did it. My family was meant to be sold into slavery but somehow we’d ended up as servants to royals in a less awful situation.
	I was shocked to eventually learn that it was a charade, all of it. They’d told the story so many times it was hard to forget. The count preferred taking men as lovers and the countess was unable to settle on one lover, let alone one she didn’t care for as more than a friend. When they were forcefully wed to one another, it was awkward. Neither wanted to consummate their marriage and eventually they learned why. They laughed about it and became the best of friends, but they kept the facade as a traditional royal family, servants  and all. They decided to try to have children because they did want them, but other than that, they were not sexual toward each other.
	That was how Heidi came into the picture.( Read moreCollapse )

Inspirational Song | Sabrina Jordan, “Hazel Eyes”

	I stretched in the back of my pickup then curled up in my blankets, shivering. Who knew it got so cold in Texas?! Not me! I’d been on the road from Isla de Cochino, FL, for days on high alert, especially in Texas. The laws in this area were terrifying and I was trying to avoid being pulled over. I thought about it for a minute. Which was worse, Mississippi, Alabama or Texas? I wouldn’t even get out of my truck in Mississippi or Alabama. I fueled at a truck stop as soon as I hit Louisiana. So many people are afraid of truckers–some were very questionable–but I felt safe with most of them. They seemed to have my back, and people’s unwarranted and irrational fear of them was beneficial to me. No one fucked with me at truck stops. They were always well lit and usually full of kind, protective men.
	I couldn’t resist swinging through New Orleans to try their famous King Cakes and beignets. I was in heaven and took a few King Cakes for the road. They would make fabulous breakfasts, especially with Love’s blueberry coffee. This road trip was proving to be a nightmare for fitness and health, but I couldn’t really be upset as I bit into a piece of King Cake. I got to San Antonio, fueled, then headed to El Paso, grateful to get out of this place. It wasn’t the entire state, just the rural areas. At one point I was worried a lifted pickup truck was following me but the headlights turned and I breathed a sigh of relief. Now here I was, relatively sure that I was going to freeze to death.
	I shivered as I gathered my bathroom bags and towel then went into the truck stop. A very nice guy gave me several showers as he couldn’t use them by the end of the month, so I didn’t have to pay $20 for a shower for at least a few days. These might even hold me over until I got to California, where the clues to find The Stray were pointing me. I waited until it was my turn then practically dove into the hot shower gratefully. I took my time enjoying the warmth until I started feeling a bit too warm, then I dried off and got dressed. I grabbed my blueberry coffee on the way out. There was a young couple outside who looked ashamed and desolate as they approached me. The woman mumbled something, looking down.( Read moreCollapse )

	Oh my GOSH! So! Ricochet was getting picked on by some bullies in a higher level area. They were trying to gather herbs for a crafting recipe but they kept getting killed. It was the only place that specific herb could be gathered and these bullies just would not leave Ricochet alone! It turned into a HUGE fight and tons of people ended up there and it took HOURS to deal with them! Luckily Nina and Jet helped, i couldn’t have done it alone.( Read moreCollapse )

Inspirational Song | Kesha, “Oppan Gangnum Blow Mash-Up”

..yes, that is actually my PvP healing anthem ::heart::

	A story. The dreams were screaming a desperate story. Allies were trickling to us and she was turning to ash. This stupid boy—Ash—was helping. Why??? I felt something so strange from them. When they looked at each other she was volcanic, somehow blinding, yet angry. But she adored him. He was dying to kiss her again. Just once. I got flashbacks from their loud thoughts. I saw things they wanted from each other and i blushed madly every time. Could i force these dreams or did i have to let them come to me? It was so confusing, but i had to understand this story. I was so frustrated. What, i thought at the sky, what do you want from me??
	You know what to do, woman! A familiar voice ranted at me. I blinked rapidly. I could feel this person rolling their eyes. Love! LOVE! You understand this! Listen, sweet woman!( Read moreCollapse )

	I stared at the ceiling of the Children’s Youth Unit at Cherry Hill, listening to the nurse make her rounds down the hall. I was officially in a mental institution. I didn’t know what to think of myself. This wasn’t a great plan.. was it? I was 15 years old, i’d heard people say that these are the years that set who you are.. and i was in a mental institution. I screamed into my pillow as the nurse tapped on my door.( Read moreCollapse )

Inspirational Song | Third Eye Blind, “Jumper”

	“It’s not about vigilantism, it’s not about murder–” i said into my mic. “–it’s about the lack of consequences for anyone over a certain income.” Jenny, who i’d barely spoken to since the last GloNight, had hopped into Wyvern chat and immediately found a way to be contrary when it came to literally anything i was saying. Tonight we were all talking about the one year anniversary of the death of a healthcare CEO. We didn’t think they had even arrested the right guy–this Mario dude seemed like a fall guy or even a distraction–but we couldn’t hate him if he had done the deed.
	“Killing is killing, Soleil, and it’s not ok,” Jenny said.
	“So what do you propose we do?” I asked.
	“Make laws against this type of thing–”
	“That’s naive,” Jet said. I could practically hear him rolling his eyes. I smirked. Nina, who was sitting on my desk like a cat, snorted.
	“How is that naive? You just think we should kill anyone we don’t like?”
	“Of course not–” Jet started dryly, but i was fed up with Jenny’s bullshit.
	“It’s not a matter of not liking a person! That CEO guy may not have killed people himself but he made sure they were dead, and for profit! How sick! They denied 30 or so per cent of their claims and some of those denials resulted in deaths! Don’t you think that is murder?!” I snapped.
	“Sol, i can see where you’re coming from but i am not ok with murder–”
	“For the millionth time this is not about murder, i don’t condone waltzing outside and murdering people, but this guy–”
	“The CEO was committing murder.” Jet said plainly. “Did he walk into hospitals or homes and put guns to anyone's heads? No. Did he or his executives pull life support with their bare hands? Naw. They hid behind ‘denying claims.’ Don’t you care about the people that his corporation murdered?”
	“But there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things and murder–”
	“People tried changing things the right way’ but we couldn't beat the cash flow. When people are desperate and they see no other way out, violence becomes the only answer. The only thing these ghouls value more than money are their own lives.” Jet said, exasperated but still calm. I was impressed. I hated that i got so worked up. Jenny was silent for a moment.
	“What does Nina–” Jenny said her name with a mocking tone “–have to say about this?”
	“I wouldn’t shoot them myself, but i understand why they got shot,” Nina said innocently as she healed the party. She stuffed another Tart Patch candy into her mouth and i grinned as she fished out an orange one and stuffed it into my mouth.
	“I just think there’s a better way..” Jenny huffed.
	“Of course there’s a better way, but revolution isn’t peaceful. ‘Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable,’ John F. Kennedy,” i said. I was irked. I thought Jenny knew me better than this. She was just poking at me because she was still jealous of Nina.
	“You can only push your boot down on someone’s neck for so long before they thrash to survive,” Jet finished quietly. A long awkward pause filled the air, but i felt closer to Jet and smiled to myself.
	“...Mario’s hot.. i’d drop my loot for him,” Nina crashed through the silence. We all laughed and Jenny disconnected from voice chat.( Read moreCollapse )

Inspirational Song | Passion Pit, “Sleepyhead”

Issue #32 | OG Release: January 1, 2026
Visit my linktr.ee!