Happy Canadian Thanksgiving

Squamish. 2013. See you there.

Much more on this topic to come. 15-Passenger van and all.

An unorthodox grace?

Alright, these thoughts will probably be wrong and have lots of holes in the logic, but talking with Mike Luna tonight brought up an interesting idea. I don't necessarily agree with what I am about to write. Just thoughts. And a new entry will move that last crappy blog title down on the screen.

At church a few weeks ago we very briefly talked about how the wrath of God may not have anything to do with miserable situations, poverty, disease, and horrible circumstances that God condemns us to until we repent. Romans 1 says "The wrath of God is revealed...(in that) their foolish hearts were darkened and... God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts." According to this, God's wrath is shown when have our hearts hardened so we can't be in the Lord's presence and discern His will. I think separation from God is a Biblical hell. This will allow us to do what do whatever we want to and fulfill the desires of the flesh on earth. We no longer receive the discipline of the Lord, because "He disciplines the ones He loves".

I think it would be obvious to most of my friends who read this that there is some significant disparity between how Jesus lived (and calls us to live our lives) and how America, as a whole, is living its life. And I believe our generation is really waking up to this reality. i.e. blatant disregard for hungry and unclothed, abortion, other money issues, 80's music, the environment and so on.

Since so many people in America are crying out for revival, perhaps God is answering those prayers by disciplining us. And that is Biblical, not just theoretical thinking.

***At the outset of this next thought I want to say, I know America clearly is not "God's country", Jesus wasn't American, and the American church isn't the only one out there, but I believe we have a very strong historical foundation in Jesus and much is expected of us since we were given much. I do believe America has the potential to continue to play a large role in fulfilling God's purposes on the earth. He hasn't given up on us yet. This is great news!***

Israel was (is?) God's chosen people. When they started to stray, God demolished them to bring them back to repentance, out of love towards them and fulfillment of His promises. And many times, not just once. And he used evil nations and natural disasters to do it too. He would just kill a bunch of people. He crazy.

Maybe when the American church prays that our country would be revived in order to be safe from Islamic terrorists and natural disasters, perhaps God is strategically answering our prayers in the Biblical model by using Al Qaeda, 9-11, Katrina and the like, in hopes of waking us up and saving us from ourselves and a worse fate, His wrath. Reviving us through discipline. Saving us from an indulgent lifestyle that may bring about the hardening work (wrath) of God. Maybe we are the spiritual cancer in our own country that will destroy us. Maybe the grace of God allows awful tragedies to take place to open our eyes before it is too late. Maybe the root of the problem is us and we just cant see it. Our goals, our gods, our worship, our pretty little American dream.

Since so many people in America are crying out for revival, perhaps God is answering those prayers by disciplining us and using Islamic extremist as His conduit to bring revival to the West. He has not yet turned us over completely to live in the lusts of our flesh. Our hearts may not all be hard yet. That is grace. He hasn't given up on us. Great news!

And God always had a remnant that he chose to save in the midst of Israel's rebellion.

And I think it may be working. I believe that the war has helped shed so much light to the Christian community about local and global social justice issues. We are not back at the "social gospel" (thank God) and we are not, as a generation, close-minded right wing-extremist. Our world view is growing. I don't believe social justice is the highest agenda God has for His people, but I believe it is probably in the top five. "As you did to the least of these so you did to me."

And maybe I am just seeing this now so I pass it off as a generation learning something new. There is nothing new under the sun. But I feel that as compared to our parents generation, relationship with Jesus and Spirit-filled living is taking off and dead religion is dying out. People are not riding the fence as much. Not as lukewarm. Religion is ceasing to be "cool". I'm just fine with that.

Do you see any possible resemblance there? That is not rhetorical. I really want to know if you think that America and Al Qaeda could possibly be similar to what happened to Israel. If God could be showing off His grace in this way. Or it could have just been real late when Mike and I talked about it, and we were way off. I am open to either.

And perhaps many other people have had this thought long before we did. I don't know.

A verse that may clearly contradict what I wrote is "It is the kindness of the Lord that leads to repentance."

Be careful what you pray for. It may not happen like you plan for it to.

What did the Mama tomato say to the baby tomato who was lagging behind?

Catch up. This the catch up episode to my blog. (Crappy joke, I know. But I like it.) Everyone who reads this knows what I have been doing, but it makes me feel better to type it all out so that there isn't a big gap. Ya know, so that when my kids read this they know what I did. Ha.

I have been in a thinking mood for a few weeks so, by extremely mediocre demand, I may start using this more.

O.K.

Oct. '06 - Nov. '06
Spent time visiting a bunch of friends. Went back to A&M for the first and only time since graduation. Tried to get my fishing pole from the Luther House, and as I should have known, it had been abused and was not in functional shape anymore. Went climbing at Reimer's Ranch with some friends. First and only time I have been climbing since Alaska. Dang, I miss it.

Dec. '06 - Jan. '07
Original plans had me in Crested Butte for about six months to work ski season, but due to various factors it was moved to Vail with a group of 6 people (Foy, Bill Ward, Matt Unthank, Erin Tegt, and Meredith Spencer). I wish I had a picture of all of them, or the hilarious 2 bedroom micro-dorm 8 people (add a psycho Aussie chick and a Argentinian chick who spoke very little English) lived in, but I was not very good about pictures. Most of us worked 3 days a week at Two Elk Lodge as bussers, and went snowboarding/skiing the rest of the time with our free lift ticket.

I lost a game of rock, paper, scissors to 7 Peruvians, and had to do this...

This is where I subtly brag.

This is where I'm happy I didn't wet my pants.

This is the classic foot cross photo. Notice the Silk Road.

Silk Road
This section is my favorite and the reason I am in Dallas now, but due to certain restrictions I can't post the details of it on the World Wide Web. If you are interested, send me an email ([email protected]) and I will send this section to you in a Word Document.

Feb. 07 - Current
In February, after canceling the set up I had in Austin, I headed to Dallas to start getting involved with The Village Church. You can imagine how happy I was, on the surface, to go Alaska -> Colorado -> Dallas. Hopefully you caught the sarcasm. But I knew pretty clearly that Dallas was right for now, so I moved back in with Mom & Dad and started looking for jobs. I applied to work for a few cities in the Environmental/Sustainable Development department, since that is kinda what I studied and I figured I would really like it.

Apparently cities and corporations do not encourage people to have fun experiences after college. For what it is worth, I highly recommend it and no matter what the infamous "man" says, do it. It is worth it. Anyway, after the third job turned me down for having three seasonal jobs in the past year, saying, "We love your ideas, but we think your work history shows you may be unreliable. Take a hike", I thought about a few jobs I knew I could get. Car sales and teaching. Bingo. So I started sales training for Texas Toyota of Grapevine in February and also began getting my alternative certification to teach middle school math starting in the fall.

While I am not a very good salesman, I did better than I thought. I actually kinda liked the work. The people I worked with were hilarious, and now I can say I was a New Vehicle Sales Professional for a season. The hours were ridiculous, and my teacher training starts next week, so after 4 months I have retired from selling cars. For good.

At the end of February I also moved into a house in Farmers Branch (the only city in the USA that will not let illegal immigrants have a place to live) with 4 other guys. Sean Baulch, Josh Bashaw, Kyle Carter, and Scott Nance. While completely different from the Luther House, I am really enjoying these guys.

But the only reason I moved to Dallas was the church. And the church is more than enough reason for me to be here. I love it. I could go on about it, but visit it for a while and you will know what I mean. Don't Podcast Matt Chandler and then think that is what the church is like. It is a lot better than him.

That brings us to now. I am enjoying being around family, good people (until some move to China and California), and there is some great stuff coming up.

Va Tech

Yesterday, just before I left the house to go to work, I checked cnn.com just to catch up on the news for the day, and I saw that there was a shooting at Virgina Tech. At that point the headlines read "SCHOOL SHOOTING - One dead and seven injured". All at once, I slouched down in my chair and mouth kinda fell open out of shock. My initial reaction was, "Dang. Man. This sucks. What is wrong with people." I was mostly upset. As I was driving to work I started to kinda get angry about the whole situation. What kind of disturbed human could do something like that? Go on to campus and shoot 8 innocent people, no matter what their excuse was.

As it usually goes in my life, I forgot about the whole situation as soon as I got to work and started only thinking about myself. Went throughout the day, had a pretty good day, sold a car, then about 7:00 after my customers left I got news that 32 people had died in the event and several more injured. I couldn't believe it. 32 people. What kind of person does that. I got even more angry, and I don't really know what I was angry about. Maybe that people are capable of doing something like that, maybe that no one had known this "loner" well enough to stop this, I don't know what exactly made me so angry.

We live in a jacked up world. Things are not as they should be. But one day, one day not to far away, we will be in perfect harmony and peace with God, nature, and others (please read Micah 4). This makes me want to "hasten The Day" and a main motivation for wanting to fulfill the Great Commission. This gets me excited like few things can.

But I am not about to say that the wickedness of my heart is somehow less than that of Cho Seung-Hui 's. I just have Jesus. I firmly believe that anyone of any position is capable of any sin at any time. But that is for another entry. However, I would like to hear a response on that from my two readers.

Anywho, to the point that caused me to write on this thing after six months. At the outset, I want to say I mean no sort of disrespect and would never try to lessen the horrible events at Virgina Tech. My prayers and sympathy go out to the students, families, friends, and and our nation, and I pray that God would be glorified and made much of because of these events.

I understand that these events hit close to home for us, and that is a large reason that this shock wave has been sent throughout our country. It was on our soil. That is why 9-11 changed the course of history when 2,392 people died in New York. It was here. It was our countrymen. These college students were innocent. It could have easily been one of us. But is one person's life worth more than another's? I think most people would say no, at least in theory. All men created equal, right? We don't live with the "life boat" mentality that Donald Miller talks about do we? Can we call ourselves followers of Jesus if we do? If you think that the middle to upper class people who live next to us (and who we are) are worth more in the sight of God than the crack addict living ten minutes from us in downtown and cant provide for their kids, even if it is their fault (the people we should also be ministering to, if not more so), then you can quit reading here. You wont be able to follow the rest of my logic. And you can also continue to live in your selfish world that you are shut up in, and if you are still going to "be a Christian" then read your Bible and tell me where I am wrong. And read Matthew 25:31-46 and be scared for your eternal state. It scares me about mine. (I just got really mad while I was typing that. It is probably conviction falling on me.) But I don't believe that there is any way to Biblically state that one person is worth more to God than the next, unless you want to talk about the Jews. If so, my Gentile friends, we are screwed.

So if we say people are people no matter what color, age, sex, orientation, race, or hair style, why does the fact that 34 people died in another Iraq bombing the day before the Va Tech massacre so easily roll out of our, my, mind? Problem. Why does current mass genocide get five minutes of air time a week, and Jesus people forget about it when a funny commercial comes on. Problem. I think I know why. In theory I believe people are equal, but I don't believe it in reality. AIDS in Africa, Darfur, Cambodia child sex slavery, The Congo, our own brothers being persecuted today (Voice of the Martyrs), and on and on. I can understand media playing Va Tech quite a bit and forgetting the rest of the world. They are mostly sinners who don't know better. But I cant understand Christian's being as distraught and tore up over this while being so ignorant and naive about the rest of the world. Have a global mindset. Get over yourself. Don't forget or neglect your country, but don't forget or neglect others.

So I am going to be upset and mourn the events of Monday, but not any more than I did the events of Sunday.

Needing a lesser view of myself and a higher view of others,

-colby

Starting to feel irresponsible

I left Kansas a few days ago after spending about a week with my sister, and we got a hold of one of a Mac Book Pro. It has has camera built in just above the screen and Mere and I had a blast:

There were many more pictures (Rachel and Sam...) but I will spare you. Hilarious camera though, if you get a chance to play with one. We forwarded a bunch of pictures to my parents and my mom was in tears laughing at all of them.

The rest of Kansas was great too. I dont think I have really had a chance to hang out with Mere for an extended amount of time since high school maybe. While she was at class I got to catch up on a bunch of reading and thinking and such. It was fun to be back in a college town for a bit.

Right now I am in Claude, Texas helping my grandparents move into a new house and hanging out with family. We have a family reunion on Saturday and after that I am headed to McMurry to hang out with my boy Hunter. Really I will go just about anywhere to hang out with someone if they will put me up for a week.

Ever since my Fall plans decided not to work out I have just been doing little odd jobs for money and then using that money to go see people. Sure, it is nice to be able to do whatever you want with your time, but I feel really selfish. Everyone keeps telling me, "just enjoy it while you can, 'cause this is the only time you can do that." I guess they may be right, but I think just doing whatever I want for my own enjoyment is pretty pointless. No purpose in what you are doing, ya know. This is why I dont ever what to have a meaningless job. Not a good steward of my life. It has been nice just to get to be out on my own for a while with plenty of reading and reflecting time, but I am starting to become anxious. Beginning in December I have solid plans to get on with my life, and I am looking forward to that.

I am glad I have this blog, but I'm gonna be honest, I feel obligated to put something up every so often when I dont really have much to say. The result is the tired sort of entries you have received since returning from Alaska. I would rather just talk to people, so I'm gonna lay off this unless I have something a little more upbeat or interesting to say.

For my sign off I am doing the thing the Little Rascals do with their hand under their chin to say bye,

-colby

Just a quicky

I mean... the post. It is going to be quick and to the point.

I got back from the Arkansas trip a few days ago, and it was a good trip. Thought a good bit, caught a few fish, and got to visit the Hale Family in Ash Flat.

Didn't come to any massive conclusions with the thinking, but I did get plenty to sustain. Kinda like the manna in the wilderness.

I would challenge anyone to a "catch your own fish and cook it over a fire in aluminum foil" competition. Maybe it was just because I was pretty hungry, but Emeril has nothing on me.

If you don't know the Hale's story, I would love to tell you sometime, but if you do they are doing great and as busy as ever. Really simple and different(?) way of life where they live.

In a few minutes I am head to do a Disciple Now at Bruce Kendrick's church with Jessie. Really looking forward to seeing both of them.

There was a little shift in the plans for working ski season in Crested Butte. Well, it isn't happening, but other options are starting to line up and it should all work out.

i'm in texas again. for a bit.

So the college students might feel me on this, and I'm sure all the old people reading this will understand as well. You know that feeling when you have been at college a few years, and then on one of your trips home it doesn't really feel like home? I mean it is still home, but not the same. But college doesn't feel like home either. Kinda in between, ya know? I think that is how I feel about Texas right now. It is home because I have spent my whole life here, most of the people I love are here, but it just doesn't feel right, right now. I think the culture shock of coming back from Alaska is worse than it was coming back from China or Japan. Probably because I didn't expect it, being in the same country and all. Living in a tent all summer, without all the luxuries that I have grown up with, has helped me distinguish between what we need and what we think we need. ***To start off this rant, I want to say that I realize that I don't practice what I am about to preach very well yet, and this is just the perspective of an unexperienced 22 year old. It may change soon, but God I hope not.*** I'm not prepared to say everyone should sell all of our possessions and give them all to the poor (another guy wrote about that in a Book already), but I would love to see more people to live in moderation. In Alaska we had to live in moderation at the camp because if we didn't we would run out water and other resources fast. But if we did run out we could go to the lodge down the road and fill up water buckets to bring back. In North Dallas, excess is the name of the game: cars, houses, clothes, churches, food, and even crappy little outfits for dogs. 1.2 BILLION people in the world live on less that $1 a day, and everyone has heard about how many thousands of people die per day because they don't have water or food or shelter. Try to reconcile those last to sentences with the fact that over 9 out of 10 Christian organizations are based out of Dallas. Uh-oh. That's a problem. Jesus has some pretty harsh words for people like me. At the risk of sounding socialist, it would be cool if that was balanced out a little better. I digress, but that is part of what makes it hard for me to be back here. I'm sure I'll get over it soon, and get back to normal.

This past summer was great. Not easy or always fun, but almost exactly what I wanted. The people I was with, the work I did, and the experiences I got. Joe prepared me real well. I got to catch up with him the other day and swap stories and such. It was great. I will make it back up to Alaska in the future, but I don't know if I will have the same sort of job. I think I will keep my outdoor pursuits as recreation instead of making a job out of it.

One big thing this summer that I'm still thinking about is a loss of idealism. I don't know if Hollywood put it there or if it is just human nature, but I guess that since I have always had it pretty easy I think things should always go my way. Well Colby, wake-up. That isn't the real world. Situations and plans will go wrong, you will get screwed over by the world, and I believe that a large test of character is how you deal when that happens.

I think this summer I realized the "log in my eye". I'm not going to tell you exactly what it is on my blog, but you can ask later if you want to know. I don't know that it is out yet, but I know it is there, and I wont be trying to get any specks out of other people's eyes until mine is out.

Well, that (all the previous writing) isn't exactly what I wanted this entry to be about, but it is what it is. So on a lighter note, check out my crappy facial hair for the summer. I trimmed it a few times, but lets face it, not very much. I kinda liked it, but I'm glad its gone.


Yesterday I got back from seeing my oldest cousin get married in Arizona, and it was a blast to see all the family again. I am leaving for Arkansas tomorrow to do a little fly fishing, thinking, and visiting some friends. Plans for after that have become a little rocky over the past few days, but we'll see how it all works out.

Dub Dij

So I guess technically Joe wins the contest. But that isn't fair, because he actually knows the dude in the picture. D.O. was 1/3 correct and Mikey wins by picking himself. Nice job. Mikey and Joe can play rock, paper, scissors to determine the champ.

But Lara definitely wins the contest for the most thought-out comment about the fireweed. Dang. Nice job, Lara.

IT SNOWED YESTERDAY. It has been snowing all summer in the mountains surrounding us, but yesterday was the first day the snow made it down to our camp. I have 12 days left in Alaska and I think they may get pretty cold. Which isn't to bad, except I live outside. I don't think I mentioned that I moved dwellings either. When Mark got fired he left his tent and I commandeered it. It is a much bigger tent that he got at Wal-Mart for $100. That price also included two camp chairs that broke within the first week of use and two sleeping bags that are much like the one Jonny used in New Mexico (Mark tried using them while he was here, and every night he had very similar results to Jonny's. Crazy Kiwi.). I say that because the tent sucks too. It doesn't even really block out the wind. I don't know how that happens, but it isn't ideal for snow camping.

I read a book earlier this summer called "Lamb" by Christopher Moore. It is a book in the little library we have in our kitchen, and one night I picked it up to flip through while eating dinner. It is the funniest book I have ever read. Out of anyone, I think D.O. will appreciate it the most. The sub-title to the book is "The gospel according to Biff, Christ's childhood best friend." The book is obviously fiction, and I am pretty sure Christopher Moore isn't a Christian. But if you don't get offended too easily, you should read it for a good laugh. I mean I was rolling hysterically more than once. It's a riot. Today I think I will finish "The River Why" by David James Duncan. Excellent book as well.

People who get the Sherlock Holmes Award for picking up on the subtle "hint hint" I dropped a few posts ago: Aunt Starla gets a massive gold star, Erin Dammon, Erin Tegt, Mikey Mills, The Supersinski's, Kelly Nall, Lara Johnson, and Mom and Dad. Mindy Gore gets an award for just being amazing. I received more fruit roll-ups this summer than you could imagine.

The title to this blog, "Dub Dij", was written in the language of Grant. That is where you shorten words with multiple syllables, and only use the first. Like, "You Beav that." He was talking about a beaver. So Dub Dij is referring to double digits. Today was my day off and I just took my tenth shower since being in this state. I am now in dub dij's for my shower count.

Here is the same fireweed that was in the last post. It has lost all of the pedals. Troub.


This will probably be my last entry from Alaska. I am leaving for a kayak trip in a few days and that will take me to the end of my time here. I cant tell you how much I appreciate all of the encouraging comments, phone calls, emails, and letters. That is the stuff that makes me feel like one of the luckiest people in the world, and loved. I will see all of you soon and get to eat my mom's cooking again.

So I hear that there is a heat wave down there.

Alright, time for another post.

The picture below is a flower called fireweed. It is a pink flower, not a red weed but still called fireweed. This is the most well known flower in Alaska, and all the Alaskans use it to judge when summer is over. The flower starts blooming from the bottom, and ever few days another row blooms. Once the flower has bloomed to the top, that marks the end of summer and you know it will be very cold pretty soon. Everyone gets a little more anxious every time another row blooms.

The next picture is a little fuzzy, so I apologize. I noticed this picture on one of our brochures the other day and it looks exactly like someone most of us know. So look over it for a while and see if you have any guesses. You may have to zoom in. Surely someone will get it, but if not I will start dropping hints.


Two of the gadgets that I have found the most useful while in Alaska:

#1.) A leatherman. I am not sure whose it is, but I have a pretty strong suspicion that it belongs to Jonny Williams. I think he left it in my backpack when it borrowed during spring break to go backpacking in NM. You know, the time he used the My Little Pony sleeping bag and almost got frost bite. Jon, Grant, you know what I'm talking about. Let's keep it down. I'm pretty sure he doesn't read this, so dont tell him I have it.

#2.) This $5 alarm clock that only has 4 mins. in between the snoozes. My old one went for 9 mins. With this one I can hit snooze like 7 times before I have to get up.

Things I miss: family, friends, flushing toilets, quality of conversation, stars and darkness, clean socks, running, roommate dinners, Asian people, rock climbing, and current events.

Things I dont miss: The heat, fake people, flat ground, how complicated things usually are, and the lack of really cool animals.

Only one month left here. I dont know yet if that is a good or bad thing. Its not like I am going back to the same old routine though. After all I am done with college. I have a few more exciting things lined up for a while. I'm gonna do my best to make the most out of this time, however I dont think this will be my last summer in Alaska. Maybe not guiding like this again, but this place is too amazing not to spend some more time. If anyone wants to make the trip up in August sometime they wont regret it.

-colby

The half way point

So I have two more pictures for ya.

At first glance this may look like a simple river bank. Even at second and third glances and it will continue to, because that is what it is. BUT, about three mins. Prior to this picture being taken I saw my first Alaskan bear at this location on the Little Susitna River. I had been fishing for a few hours and took a break to read on the river bank for a while. I heard something large tromping though the woods across the river and a few minutes later a bear popped out. It got a drink of water, looked around for a bit, and then stood on it's hind legs to smell the air. I assume it smelled me and then it took off back for the woods. It was probably 15 yards straight across the river, but it never saw me. But you better believe I was ready to take off if it headed my way. It was a black bear not a grizzly, but a bear none the less.

This picture is not quite as fun. Jess and I were fishing together the day after the bear sighting at a smaller stream. I was borrowing the boss' fly rod for the weekend and Jess had here own up here. I cast the fly in front of an eddy and let it slowly go into the eddy and I felt the fish hit. Not a big deal, I had caught trout before. I got the fish about half way in when boss' fly rod snapped in half. Sweet. That's what I needed. So I finished pulling the fish in with my hands, and wondering what could have caused the break. I talked with Jess about it, took a picture with the fish and broken rod, and wondered how much it would cost to replace. If you are familiar with fly-fishing, it was an 8 weight rod and could have easily pulled in a fish three times the size of that fish. (Although it was a nice size rainbow trout, if I do say so myself.) So Jess had an extra rod and I used it for the next bit until I caught another trout, a little larger, and broke her rod in the same place. Dang it. I couldn't believe it. Two rods? Is that a joke? That hardly ever happens, and if it does it always happens on the tip, not at the strongest part of the rod. So I pulled this one in with my hands as well. This quickly became a very expensive fishing trip. So on my day off today I am trying to figure out how to replace boss' rod (thankfully Jess' was under warranty), and still trying to figure out how it broke, twice. So if you have any clues, snide remarks, or anything, I will take it.

The 10-day trip I took after the fishing trip was great, except for the night we camped below the tide line while sea-kayaking. We were only 100 yards from a tide-water glacier, so that was a chilly-Rick. Two of the guests (that is what we are supposed to call clients) woke up floating in their tents at 1:40. You should have heard them. I thought the world was ending the way they woke us up. The other guide and I had camped on high enough ground, but still ended up sleeping in the wet sleeping bags so the guest could have ours. It wasn't funny the next day, or the day after, but after that it was funny.

So now I am back at the glacier for a week or two before the next trip. Hard to believe the summer is already half over.

-colby