What's up, it's been a long year and very few notable things happened until this weekend, when I bought a Loki statue at a magic festival and regretted it the very next day.
That fucker is currently wrapped up in a Mjollnir joint/burrito thing until 1) my mom is back from the Philippines, and 2) I've had some decent work-days, so next Monday at the latest. So that calmed things down, and the... rest of Loki, I guess... is calming down, since I assured him that I'm not keeping it there permanently and I'll still feed him while the statue's in there, I just need to keep him from fucking around with shit.
The current story is on my Tumblr blog here : https://www.tumblr.com/norcalbruja/763752328898756608/hewasaseidrbxy-why-is-it-not-surprising-that-his?source=share
Copied from my Tumblr because I am constantly forgetting about this poor website. I didn't want to just link you to my tumblr and forget about this for the next six months again, lol.
( Read more...Collapse )Apparently I've been gone long enough for Livejournal to worry about my contact info being out of date, so uh... nothing major has happened yet, don't worry.
Just back on the job-search since August/September when my old job fired me, but I've had two interviews and the other one is coming up next week. Really hope I can start the new year with a new income source for my bank account.
Also I have started transferring two of my novel drafts to Wattpad, so please check out either Moonflowers or The Crocodile God in their shiny new home! I haven't deleted their drafts on Inkitt or Inkshares, but I left notes on their summaries that point new readers to Wattpad's links.
My hurdy gurdy project is also delayed, since no less than three pieces broke and now I have to wait a week for the replacement parts (most likely longer, thanks to the pandemic backlog).
Spiritual updates will be posted on
the_bears_wife.
Got unpleasantly reminded that I also need to BUILD THE HAMMER TO CONTINUE PROGRESS, lol.
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And here’s my progress after two hours!
Not pictured: me frantically sanding down corners for about twenty minutes with some larger pieces of sandpaper that I have in the tool drawer, and constantly begging the pieces to JUST FIT ALREADY, because the tiny square of sandpaper they give you to smooth out edges is NOT enough if something is just a hair’s width too wide.
This is copied from Tumblr as well, but it's fresh and hot off the press from today, October 6!
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All right, so my attempted break from the spirit-world is going about as well as I thought because like, the spirits just refuse to stop talking.
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The reading I got says that the anito have deserted me (which is why I’m having spiritual “ulcers” from stress), and yet this whole situation started with someone calling himself Haik, the Tagalog sea-god. He’s mostly been telling me sea-stories and getting extremely close to me, but I was told in the reading that the anito do NOT interact with people in such human manners? So who would he be, and why do he and other spirits hang out so much with me and assume the anito’s names? They are certainly Tagalog, since they speak it way better than me :( .
Other tricksters have a weird relationship with whoever is calling himself Haik. They keep laughing at him when they see him, and warning him that I might be “crazy” and a barely-trained spirit-worker, but I am also smart and that gives me a lot of “trickster-like” qualities myself.
Like, the tricksters constantly tell him that he and I are too much alike, and they’re waiting to see what happens with us.
I do not like being an introverted “cousin to tricksters” or whatever I am :/. This would be so much easier if I could just get a warning from the spirits ABOUT tricksters.
Behind the cut for length, spiritual weirdness, and finicky consent musings.
Part 1 is here, and any later updates would probably be on my spirit blog, the_bears_wife .
This is copied from my Tumblr on October 4th.
--What’s up, I am currently exhausted/worried about my whole fucking life right now. I got a reading from someone in my Filipino group to find out why my writing struggles have been ESPECIALLY crappy, even considering I knew writing would be shit to deal with. I was also worried about those spiritual “stress ulcers” that happened in my last spiritual post, because it’s not a good thing to start bleeding from the mouth while despairing, whether you’re in the Otherworld OR the mortal/flesh world!
AND GUESS WHAT ELSE I FOUND OUT???
The reader told me I am unconsciously depending on the anito to help me get a stable life/career and not only do they not enjoy my desperation, they… DON’T seem to like my urban-fantasy writing, either, because I’ve been unconsciously turning them into “caricatures” and treating them too closely?
Which is mightily unexpected, because… this whole fucking situation started with someone calling himself Haik (who’s supposed to be the Tagalog sea-god) just coming up and telling me stories and hanging out with me.
Like, who the fuck am I talking to, then???
The reader has admitted that she’s not experienced at deity-work, but even before the reading? I’ve been getting nudges from LOTS of spirits that my constant anger/despair is not sustainable or healthy, and I’m just going “yes, I know, but WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?”
So before she headed offline, she recommended that I talk to an albularyo / folk-healer in our Filipino group, and, he is very worried at 1) my reading results, 2) my spirit-ulcers, AND 3) when I told him that I’ve had a few encounters with the tiyanak (demon-children who prey on mortals). So, he’s ALSO doing a quick emergency reading. Like right now.
As for me and the spirits, I am trying to actually take a break like advised, but I will avoid listening to “whoever is calling themselves the anito” right now.
Behind the cut for length!
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Part 2 is here, and later updates would be on my spirit-blog,
the_bears_wife .The only notable thing is that I started therapy with my sister and I took some weekly horse-riding lessons, but I quit those after they started telling me to "kick the horse to go if they're not responding" or "yank the reins if they don't want to stop/turn." I'm just gonna find a better place to learn Western riding if I can.
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But hey folks, I got spirit updates!
Spirit-wise, I've been contacted by the Green Man and he looks/acts like Henry Cavill's Geralt of Rivia, of all people. Very sexy until he starts throwing up vines, or turning into a tree-man-thing.
Weirdly enough for an Ent-like nature-spirit, the Green Man Does Not Like how Haik and the other spirits "treat me like a wild creature" and let me roam around having meltdowns and only half-knowing what I'm doing with spirit-work, because he seems to have thought they'd be a LITTLE more stringent on... advancing my spirit-work abilities, or even just helping me out more in the regular world.
He is very emphatic that he is neither "wild" or "human," but a mix of both.
The other spirits have a complicated relationship with him. He does have some good points like how their well-intended "keep everything nice and slow" is a little TOO slow for me, but he also has accidental "no mixing the elements/races" undertones. He's just so INSISTENT that Haik (a sea/water-god) and I (the most land-lubber person ever) don't make a good match because we barely understand each other, and I should find a land-spirit to work with instead. Uh... that's not always how relationships work.
Not too much to talk about--I'm just listening to My Chemical Romance, playing various games, and trying to keep a workout schedule. Thinking about entering another open mic on their zoom meeting, but I'd have to sort through my poems for that.
I also learned to scream-sing properly so I can sing MCR songs without blowing my voice, but I have like three other projects to finish before covering a song. Lmao
Uhhh. Wow. My last update was in January. So that art-store job I got?
I don't have it anymore, thanks to the pandemic/quarantine. They let me and the other part-time workers go after about two weeks. Cowards.
Being introverted, it's taken me about half a year to finally get stir-crazy, so I'm getting back into exercising.
Unemployment is easily giving me twice as much money as my actual job, though setting it up was a bitch. And I also had to cancel my health insurance for draining half my minimum-wage paycheck. (They lied when they said it was the cheapest, so now I'm hunting around for a better one.)
Still trying to finish my various half-finished works. One novel draft is down, two major projects to go, about five million other projects I need to start picking out of a hat or something.
I also got asked to let some students read my poetry for a school! So that's great, I just need to tweak the poem and send it to the teacher by next week.
However, not very motivated to finish my OTHER works when a) people STILL aren't bothering to read them or at least boost my work on social-media to show support, or b) one of them is a play and I obviously won't be able to meet people in large groups for a while yet.
I just want to make a living off my writing. Why the fuck is it so hard for 90% of my circles to support me?
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Comments
With all the shamanistic focus in my training, it's more mental/emotional fatigue than physical. I'm STILL freaked out by the dolls and how Fox just casually carved his own arm up.
Or maybe I'm just the type who needs…
Of course, her real-world training is always so much worse...