Change of Plans....Er, I mean What now?

After a lot of waiting and hoping we found out that Clint isn't going back to Ogden.  At first we were upset and shocked, but now, after some time has passed, we are ok with it.  It would have been great and it would have saved us lots of money, but it wasn't in the plan.  Now we are trying to figure out what is.  Do we stay or do we go.....And IF we go, where?  We have lots of questions, but no answers.  At times it's really frustrating, but we have chosen to look at things bit differently.  There is a reason he didn't get hired and that means there is another door that needs to be open.  So we are searching and praying, going to the temple a lot to figure things out.  In the mean time here are some of the blessings we have;

• a beautiful garden with produce that is growing
• a great ward
• great friends
• a good school the kids are at for now
• a home to live in with reasonable rent

Basically, we can choose to be angry and upset by the situation, which won't change the outcome and make us miserable, or we can choose to let the Lord guide us and be patient with His timing and His ways.  Don't get me wrong, we aren't perfect we have those days when we are confused as to why he wasn't hired, but the calm ones out last the later.

You Are Worth It!

Life is truly amazing my friends!  With every new person I meet I am reminded just how awesome people can be.  I know the reality, I know that not every person is great, but I also know that every person is a child of God.  I'm reading this great book right now that says just that, I'm paraphrasing, "remember that every person you meet is a child of God and it will change how you see them".  I've been told this my whole life, but right now in my life I'm really trying to implement it.  What has it done for me?  Well...It's helped me find forgiveness for those who have wronged me, it has helped me be more patient with my children and husband, it makes me look at the people at the grocery store who have tattoos and piercings all over their body differently, it reminds me to smile and appreciate others as I people watch and it helps me to judge less.  What it has helped me with the most right now, is it reminds me to see me differently, that I am a child of God and worth it.

We all have our bad days and our own personal struggles.  Since my baby was born I have been challenged with various feelings and remembering my own divinity has helped me overcome these feelings.  I won't lie, it helps to have great people remind you that you are great and someone worth loving.  So if you're like me, and having one of "those" days, take a moment to look around you and strive to see the beauty in where you are right now, in who you are right now, because you will never be who you are right now ever again and that is a good thing.  Take time to appreciate what the Lord has blessed you with and what he has not blessed you with.

May you find joy in your own journey today!

Being okay with Change

Clint had an interview last week for a new job.  We have waited for this moment for a long time, and now, it's finally here.  The funny thing though is neither one of us feels anxious about it.  We fasted and prayed that his interview would go well, we've talked about it to death before he went, he worked on his resume for weeks and when the time finally came we both felt we had done all we could.  Now it's in the hands of the Lord.  It's kind of strange being here, at this point.  Six years ago we moved here with intent on staying for only a few years, now our life is very different than it was and a few years turned into a undisclosed amount of time. Five years ago I had a total freak out moment and since then I have learned many powerful lessons one of which is to just rely on Him.  there is so much I can't control and the more I try the more crazy I become.  I like being in the place in my life, to know that no matter what the Lord will provide a way.  If Clint gets the job we'll be in the area for a while longer, like 2-3 years more.  If he doesn't than we start praying about what next, where do we go next.  That might mean moving out of state or to another place in UT, either way I know that everything will be alright.  If this door doesn't open to us, He will open another one.  That's a nice thing to know and finally understand .

Reflections

I've been looking through old photos of my children and it makes me long for those days again.  Not the tantrum throwing or potty training or any of "those"days, but the days where they were young and adorably cute with their cute little voices and funny sayings.  Then...I realized that I really like this new place too.  I like that my oldest is becoming more independent and reliable.  I like that my oldest son is reading books and liking them as well as being willing to explore new avenues in his life.  I will admit I don't like the age 3 very much and all that comes with it, but I will say that watching my youngest son figure out his way through those hard times and watching his brain work and figure things out is remarkable and I look forward to him NOT being 3 any more.  I love that my baby is still so small and IS my baby, even if she is almost 17 months now.  I love that she is only 18.5 lbs, still fits into 12 month clothes, just barely stopped nursing and still sits rear-facing in the car.  So, while I sometimes long for those days I am really happy for the direction we are headed.

I love how it feels

I went running today.  It's been a long time since I've actually ran consistently.  In no way do I think 2 days in a row is consistent, but it's a start.  I was thinking about this idea while I was out, constancy, why is it so hard?  Truly to be successful in anything we need be consistent.  That thought led me to thinking about the blisters on the bottom of my foot and the uneven sidewalk I tripped over and the pain shooting up the back of my legs that tell me they are done, but not to stop.  All of things could be excuses to stop and in the past I may have let a few of them become just that.  However, this time I WANT it to be different, I WANT to keep going.  That idea got me pondering WHY?!  Why do I WANT it this time when so many times before I didn't.  Then I remembered, Once upon a time I did want it.  I lost so much weight and I was really excited and then I found out that I was having a baby, that was two babies ago. (=  Now, after an incredibly emotional 2 years I am in a better place in my head.  Now I am willing to be more consistent.  I'm not just talking about being consistent with loosing weight and exercising, but with everything from reading my scriptures, reading up lifting material or books that I have wanted to read far a long time to telling my children I love them more and holding them tight without feeling rushed to try to get another thing done.

Today I watched as the sun evaporated a cloud right out of the sky, I watched a mother bird with her babies, I felt the cool breeze blow when the sun was beating down on me and I heard the song of the birds in the trees.  All of these things helped me remember what a remarkable world we live in and how thankful that one is much greater than I created it for me and is all was consistent, even when I am not.