danig | Recent Entries

Paddling like crazy to keep my head above water.

Tonight:
pick up loaner vehicle and drop Matt’s car for oil change.
City band concert
Load tables, chairs, coolers, deco into my vehicle
Could go to cover band concert downtown Bonner…we’ll see

Tomorrow:
Tiblow Days parade
Return loaner vehicle and pick up Matt’s car
Home to pick up my loaded vehicle and for Matt to load his
I’ll take stuff in my car to brother’s house for Dad’s birthday party
Matt will go to faire site to prep tower and load in
Me – home to change clothes and load face painting kit
Face paint 5-9 (4-9:30 with travel time)
Could go to concert downtown Bonner…

Sunday:
Pick up food and cake
Dad’s birthday party
Family zoom meeting

Oh, and somewhere in there—likely Sat morning – mom will be discharged so there’s getting her home and settled. Thankfully she has company going to see her at the hospital today so I don't have to squeeze that in.

I really need to run over to Mom and Dad’s today and do the dishes that she’s left sitting since July 3^rd (Dad’s counting and they cover the counter). It’s his birthday today so I’ll tell him that’s his present, LOL. Will see what other easy picking up I can do in prep for Mom to come home. I already know the house is in horrible shape so next week will be the battle of forcing her to let me move/trash/do things.

I have another load of stuff to take to faire site – That will be Wed eve next week, I guess. Also need to pick up vendor packet but that has to be done during their office hours. Sigh. Maybe Mom will want a car ride next week and I’ll take her with me to get it.

Mom
It’s not good. They did an open incision, found out that the CAT scan didn’t show everything, removed what they could and left several areas of concern. One mass is 3 cm and they don’t like to leave anything over 1 cm. The cervical tissue was so diseased that removing it wouldn’t have left enough to close the vagina, so it stayed. There four areas of cancerous tissue they had to leave for various reasons: one was in the mesenteric arteries and blood vessels around the bowel, and another in the pelvic gutter (paracolic gutter). We won’t know the type of cancer or the stage for another 7-10 days and then they’ll talk treatment plan. They already told us it will be radiation and chemo. If it’s internal radiation I’m not sure Mom will do it (or be able to mentally allow it to happen).

In her crazy-making decisions, Mom told the doctor she couldn’t give us any details after the surgery (that made us angry after sitting there for 11 hours waiting on her), so I didn’t learn anything until yesterday when the doctor said she wanted to meet with me, SIL, and Mom together to talk through everything. Mom didn’t understand why since the doc told her everything, but she let it happen (for reasons unknown Mom made SIL primary contact and declined the option of adding me as secondary. I don’t understand but thankfully SIL and I have been a team for 30 years and have this down to a science.) After the doc talked through everything Mom’s reaction was “Oh, so she only gave me an overview this morning. Now I understand more.” Yes, and also, you don’t. SIL and I both feel like the doc was being a little too positive. When phrases like “quality of life” are thrown out it gets into scary territory.

We’ll know more in 2 weeks. It’s going to be a LONG haul.

Kenz did reach out to Nana the night before the surgery so I updated her on Mom’s status. That was the extent of the texts. Nothing personal between us, just status update. Bizarre.

I’m quickly losing my mind. I desperately need more help for KCRF on two days. I need to work on updating inventory and pricing in Square and getting a couple of people set up as managers with their own log ins. I’ve not yet found my excitement for faire. I hope it appears at some point. I’m meeting myself coming and going. I sleep but dream all night, every night, even with sleep aids.

The road project is getting interesting again. The road itself is gone from in front of the house and the big toys are digging and hauling nonstop. They're dropping the roadbed 6' at the top intersection and raising it 3-5 feet at the bottom of the hill. So far it's all dirt but they will hit rock eventually, so next week will be noisy. I'll be working from Mom's most of it so it won't bother me.

Current Mood: overwhelmed

I’m done with winter now. I like winter and this is too much even for me. This is the longest stretch of this bitter cold in 130 years. Yesterday actual low was -15 with windchill of somewhere near -26. It never got above -9 all day. The drain on the power grid is taking its toll and millions are without power. The power company instituted rolling 30-60min blackouts to try to help. We thought that it was our turn when the power kicked off a bit before 7 this morning but discovered it was not a controlled outage. About 2 hours and 15 min later it finally came back on. 60° is too chilly to do a lot in the house, though I’m glad it didn’t get any worse.

Matt’s office even closed yesterday and today because of the weather. He had an 8:30 remote install yesterday so he had to go in earlier than normal but came home after it was done.

At least the sun is out today.

Work has been a little busier with all the details to manage with Paul leaving. He doesn’t have an assistant at his new place and didn’t take me seriously when I said I could work remotely until I told him I have two part time VA gigs and could easily take on some of what he needs. He’s going to see if they’ll allow him to do that, give me access to the software for expense reporting and travel planning, calendar, etc. We’ll see. They’re about 10 years behind the times in many ways.

VA gig #1 is going just fine. It’s settling into a decent rhythm. It’s mostly social media management, occasional letters out the door, and some data entry for bankruptcy cases.

I met VA gig #2 today via zoom. Another attorney. This one will be more marketing oriented. I will work with the graphic designer and copy writer on quarterly newsletters, monthly postcards, and similar. Will manage the marketing calendar (as soon as I create it) and herd the related cats.

Family

Distance remains with Kenzie and I feel like it’s because she is living the single girl lifestyle and doesn’t want her mother’s disapproval. Everything she posts to social media supports her being out every non-work night with girlfriends, drinking. She’s not with her husband. When I expressed my concern to her Dad his response to tell me to get off her social media; that I don’t need to see all that. ::eye roll::

Claire is doing pretty well. We don’t hear from her much but when we do it’s pleasant enough. She’ll be home the first of March, but will be here to take care of Kirby while Matt and I go to St. Louis for his birthday weekend. We may not even see her.

Matt continues to be awesome. I’m grateful that we are as good together as we are. He knows how hard the current state of the world is on me and makes efforts to get me out of the house, even for small random errands. He tolerates me when I’m whiny. He is an outstanding partner. He helps with housework, cooking, and with whatever project I’m currently undertaking.

Travel

I need a beach and an umbrella drink where it’s warm enough to wear shorts--STAT. I’ve been looking at last minute getaways to all the resorts—Cozumel, Jamaica, Bahamas. I envy people who can just spend $2k without batting an eye. Someday, maybe. Today—nope.

Faires and events

So far we’ve confirmed our event in Great Bend the first weekend of June, plus working for T’Ger at OKRF and Des Moines. Those last two overlap so he’s either going to do both or skip two weekends of OKRF. Either is fine with us. We are waiting for confirmation of the first weekend of May in NE.

We have reached out to Wichita for consideration for their April faire. They are notoriously slow to respond, usually inside 8 weeks until opening. We also reached out to CMRF but hold no hope for that one. They have Judas & Magnolia, an escape act that we work with at NE, and another magician, plus they are in complete upheaval with the deaths of two entertainment directors in two years. That leaves KC in the Fall.

Going to brave the weather before the sun sets and go to Walmart. The cat needs food and the grocery store was bare Sat evening. I need hair color and Aquaphor for my painfully dry skin (am thinking about scheduling an IV Hydration treatment). Matt needs 3M hangers for his magic posters. Priorities, man, LOL.

Yesterday was bad. By mid-day every bone in my face and head hurt. I couldn't concentrate. Eating anything was out of the question. Matt brought me a chocolate shake and I managed some applesauce. Took a hydrocodone before I remembered it tends to make me vomit. Luckily it didn't last night. It took the edge off so I could sleep but didn't complete relieve the pain. Today the right side of my face is mostly okay but the left is just as bad. It's really stupid that I have to deal with this just to have basic preventive dentistry.

Hoping for a decent day Saturday so we can get the upper section of the rock wall replaced. I haven't done any physical work in so long I'm unsure how long I will be any help and I find that ridiculous, but my own fault. Knowing I'm being unnecessarily lazy doesn't help me get motivated.

Yesterday Claire and I met with Faulkner's Pumpkin Patch to talk about her stilting for them this Fall. With everything up in the air it's just talk right now but they're interested in her and willing to give her a shot. Richard Renner has had the gig for years and they have no complaints but are willing to add Claire into the mix. Terry Davolt has done his wild west show there for years and recommended Claire so we have a lot to thank him for. It's all just penciled in currently but we'll go ahead and build the cowgirl costume. She can use it regardless.

Current Mood: good

That was a bit unnerving. My account was accessed and the URL redirected to a porn site. Mine among a good handful of others. Kudos to DW for catching it and suspending my account, but I was afraid all of my entries were gone forever. I need to figure out how to export them for backup. DW made it pretty easy to fix and I appreciate their diligence.

I'm running out of work things to do. I need to do some reconciliation on my company credit card, that will take an hour or so. I can set up some more recurring meetings. Nothing is interesting or engaging but it will justify me being on the clock for a while.

It's rainy and gloomy and gross. I need some sunshine so I can at least go for a walk and see the outside world. I have a routine appointment with my rheumatologist this morning. They called twice to see if I am coming. No real reason not to, I suppose. I'm taking a handkerchief to open doors and push elevator buttons and have some hand sanitizer. Not looking forward to the dirty looks that will result from my allergy sneezes, though.

I've heard rumblings from non-related people in non-related government jobs that we can soon expect a shelter in place order for 3 weeks or more. So yesterday I braved Price Chopper to make sure we -and the feline emperor- can survive. We've gotten so used to cooking fresh that I had to rethink buying shelf stable staples. It is apocalyptic level buying: eggs, frozen veggies, soup, box potatoes/stuffing, pasta, red meat--all are gone. Of course TP and cleaning supplies don't exist. We have 10 rolls of TP so we're okay for a while.

Mom and Dad were both sick last week so I'm concerned about them. Dad won't change his behavior so it increases the chance that he'll bring it home to Mom. Claire is still working at Sonic, and Matt is still going through the drive through for lunch every day, so I have the same likelihood of exposure.

My trusty, work horse, mean-machine glue gun died. I bought it at a garage sale about 25 years ago for $20 including a hardshell case, extra tip, and box of sticks. Matt traced it back and it was about 35 years old. By today's safety standards its a commercial grade gun as it gets HOT. That means to replace it with like kind is $100 or more, which I don't want to do--especially after spending 3x our weekly grocery budget in one week. (Matt and I spend an average of $65/week. With Claire home it jumps to around $100. I've spent $300+/- this week. Ugh) Matt was awesome and stopped at Harbor Freight last night to get a glue gun that is an acceptable substitute.

I put it to use last night and got another 2 hours work done on the flower skirt. I am giddy at the way it's progressing. When something this big actually comes together the way I pictured it --and the first time-- it's all but a miracle! I'm approx 5 hrs in and initial estimate was 10-12 hours for the first section. That feels accurate and I can't wait to see it come together. Now to hope that OKRF doesn't have to cancel so the debut can happen as advertised.

**some time later**
I went to my rheumatologist appointment. 11a appointment, I arrive about 5 min early to do paperwork. Blood draw at 11, back to waiting room for 10-15min. Go back to exam room for vitals then SIT until 11:50 to see the doctor. Grrrrr. I was back in my car and on the way home at 12:15. I didn't feel rushed and like the doc, even though this is the only time I'll see her. This doc (Welch) retired from this practice. My doc (Ginder) retired a year ago to be replaced by Dr. Kim. I saw Dr. Kim once as he left the practice after something like 90 days. That left the practice in a pickle so they call Welch back to help; she's in office 2-3 days/week. Now there are two new doctors just off training that will join the practice and Welch can return to retirement.

While on the drive to the appointment I listened to today's COVID19 press conference. So many unkind things to say about the buffoon in the White House, but that's not what this is about. He announced three drugs that will be released as therapeutic use against the virus. One of them is Plaquenil. So now the drug I need to keep my disease from progressing will be subject to a shortage. The doc office just heard about it, too, and agrees that a shortage is pending. She gave me a 90 day refill --which I will go pick up as soon as its ready--and even has me scaling back my dose to stretch it so long as I don't notice any negative changes. I suppose the positive is that since I've been taking it I'm less susceptible to the virus. I feel like patients taking it already should have precedence, but that's just me.

Current Mood: anxious

Testing cross-post. It's been a long time since I've done this.

I-435, K-10 and Lackman Road Interchange Ramp Closures
From Kansas Department of Transportation
Multiple closures will be taking place at the I-435, K-10 and Lackman Road interchange area to complete construction tie-in work on the westbound collector-distributor road that runs parallel to I-435. The closures that will take place related to this work are as follows:

TWO-WEEK FULL RAMP CLOSURE: Westbound I-435 to westbound K-10 ramp CLOSED for traffic switch and roadway tie-in construction work, 24/7 round the clock, beginning at 10 p.m. on Friday, July 15 through Monday, July 25, weather permitting.

Multiple detour options provided. Traffic can detour via northbound I-435 to 95th Street or 87th Street exits. From 95th Street, traffic can detour via westbound 95th Street to Renner Boulevard, where they will then use northbound or southbound Renner Boulevard to access westbound K-10. From 87th Street exit, traffic will detour back on southbound I-435 to access westbound K-10.

Yay DOMS!

That is all.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. The biopsy went well. More when I'm not posting from my phone--am currently laying on the couch with no plan to move soon.

After shot. Not nearly as bad as I expected.

It’s the busy time of year where I don’t make time to update LJ. I need to, for myself mostly. I do use it as a personal life archive as much as anything.
Let’s see. Since July:

Claire started 7th grade. She made the A volleyball team and is really enjoying it. They lost their first match but played well. She's still in the TAG program and was invited to take the ACT as a 7th grader--pretty cool. She was featured in a front-page article in the local paper http://www.bonnersprings.com/news/2013/sep/04/bonner-seventh-grader-moonlights-stilt-walker/ .

Kenzie is learning important life lessons related to roommates and will be moving out of her rental house this month, back to her Dad’s for a while, then is talking about moving to Lawrence with a male friend. We’ll see how that plays out. She’s dealing with loneliness that comes from changing social circles and growing up. Generally she’s okay and I’m doing a much better job of staying out of her business, listening without offering advice, and letting her learn her lessons. She turned 21 and is working at Danny’s bar and grill at the Legends.

Matt has his own show this year at KCRF and is going GREAT things. I’m so excited for him there are no words. As a result of his show he’s already been asked to quote a show in NE this winter!

I’m working with T’Ger again this year. I love, love, love that gig and am so glad he has me back each year. I’m also serving at the Bawdy Beer Show (formerly the Smoker) and it’s as fun as always. This has been the toughest opening two weekends in a long time. The heat has been horrible. But we've survived and it will get better from here on out!

Work is … it got rough for a while. I was supporting 8 people/teams and was running into the wall on a daily basis. After losing 6.5 days to non-stop data entry and watching my regular workload pile up I put my foot down and told my boss I am never doing that again. I put together a proposal asking him to define my job and make the salary match. I have my mid-year review Friday and he is to talk with one of my other supervisors/Exec Dirs this week as they travel together, so I’m looking forward to resolution. Not counting on more money but a clear job description that is communicated to the team will be very helpful. We have a new CMO starting the first of next month so we’ll have a bit of adjustment added to the revolving door that is the marketing department at Applebee’s.

4-H is still there. We made it through the unnecessary drama of the fair. The extension agent (the county wide leader) is retiring at the end of the year. I’m hopeful that will bring positive changes.

I’m still going to the gym and feeling good about the progress I’m making in terms of toning and my shape and my abilities to lift. My pants are all getting too big again, which is a good thing because my mid-section is one of my struggle points. I’m frustrated that the scale will. Not. Move. But I just keep doing my best. I didn’t go last week because of the 3 day faire weekend and its toll on me. Will go tonight for a short bit because at 99 degrees and no A/C I won’t last long.

Matt is going to the gym regularly, too, and it’s REALLY showing. He’s down 25 lbs or so and looks ah-maz-ing. He’s also still working with the roller derby.

That’s the basic state of the Dani. Busy busy but that’s how it is. I sometimes just hang for the ride.

Yesterday I worked another temp day as a seminar registrar/speaker helper. It went well and I'm doing it again tomorrow for a different speaker.

Since I'm bringing in a few pennies doing these I called MO to find out how much I can make in a week before it affects my unemployment. Are you sitting down? $64. The first $64 I make doesn't affect me, everything after that comes out of my unemployment. Are you Freaking Kidding Me?!? So, VURD, those of you who've "benefited" from unemployment and made a little on the side--did you obey all the rules and report all of it? I'm not being paid in cash but I doubt I will make enough to have to be W2'd on it.

Somewhat related--I hate it when someone recommends me for a job and it doesn't work out. I had to turn down a position that was offered to me Tuesday. Thankfully a conversation ensued that made sure everything is smooth. In fact, it was suggested I look at another posting for the same company that may be a better fit.

ETA: I got the greatest call today. One of my best customers from the ex-job called--one of only two that had my cell # --to give me grief. A set of silo liners I ordered for him that arrived since my leaving doesn't fit. While I feel bad for the headache he's left with, it was not in any way my fault. I told him "I really wish I cared" and we laughed. He's boycotting the old company for a while and ordering from the competition. I asked if NewMom had called on him yet and he said he's talked to her once--the day after I left. She called to tell him she's his new account manager, that I just up and quit cuz I took a job closer to home. Innnnteresting, no? At least they're not bad mouthing me too much.

And in sewing news--I procrastinated finishing a skirt that needs to be done tonight. So I went in and in less than 30 minutes have already broken a needle. AND the ruffle foot is consistently grabbing only every other pleat. I can't figure out why. But I will get this sucker done tonight if there is any way possible!

And when it's done I need to work on lines for OKRF. I'm getting better but am still scared to death that I'll be totally off book. Thankfully the world's best stage mates are adept at prompting me ("Well, Narrator, what do YOU think?") but I'd like it if they didn't have to do that during an actual performance.

Current Mood: busy

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danig

August 2025

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A Glimpse Into Me

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Fighting the good fight but losing.

Snow Day. This weather sucks

More dental pain

Whew. I'm back

Testing

Traffic update for this weekend

Friday

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