belated admission...oh well

i realize that i only saw a lot of your surface
like me, my aspirations
were you fulfilling them? it appeared so.
and to realize this miniature culture
to release it in your voice,
the music you consciously made
here i have to admit
i see too much effort in your being
too many trials
whereas i- i will remain apart
because i am still waiting for the voice that is not my own
to give me my own
in the meantime
i refrain from appropriating these pleasures
assuming they are pleasures
and not children, waiting to be baptized...