those of us who have spent a significant amount of our lives so incredibly alone, so alone that we felt like we existed in some other world altogether, only occasionally visiting the one that most people knew. so alone that we gave up on other people, that we assumed the rest of our lives would be like that, only ourselves, only that private world we'd become so accustomed to. so alone that we forgot how to interact with others. that we forgot what was expected of us as humans. we share a secret. it's a secret, unfortunately, that we share only with ourselves, no matter how terribly we'd like others to know it; to feel it. there's a danger in wanting to despise all who who haven't had to experience what we have. i remain with such an incredibly strong sense of individual self, that i think i could weather almost anything and still be okay in the end. i'd still have myself. it's crazy, the transformation i've gone through and been going through my entire life; to become this person that i am now. there are many times when i feel like i'm preparing myself/being prepared for something. it's that strong (and strange), this whole thing.