Oneiric Zenith

Doctor came back for a quick visit! And came with River Song 👀 (holy shit). I know he has regenerated since I last saw him, but I keep seeing him in his last face (10th). Kinda like when Missy was talking about Doctor in a scene and she present the audience with the current face (12th) since they are all Doctor.

Which, I guess when Doctor didn’t see Clara any different when she grew old in the dream crab world, it makes sense now. It’s cool to experience that effect myself.

Anyways, others visibly see the Doctor’s new face (Crowley: “no longer stealing my face I see”)

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We are trying out various personal terms for categorizations. Comet is for Travelers--those who are not Residents but may be given  ways to find the realm again should they leave, and Visitors--those who got here but were not given a means to return should they leave.


Near a week ago, the Doctor and the TARDIS are just gone one day. 

It took me that near week anxiously agonizing over it to came up with a theory. 

Maybe the Doctor knew or sensed something about me offering him a permanent residency, regardless if he can still leave or not. Or the TARDIS figured it out. They did leave right before I solidify that decision in my mind, and I occasionally am telepathically linked with at least the TARDIS. 

I can still hear the TARDIS sometimes, never anything long, just a short sound and impression or two. But she's out there with her Doctor. 

I also recall seeing the 11th Doctor. And I've always been a bit confused and largely given up with confusing events or time or if something actually happened or not within the Dream Realm. Some I have better grasp if it's something that did happened, some I can tell is more my imagination scenario. But that event of 11th Doctor showing up, I could never tell whichever way it was.

What if the Doctor I'd had stayed around for a bit did came back in his next generation once? That seem a Doctor thing to do, just like it's a Doctor thing to do to leave if someone's about to invite them to stay.

After seemingly endless time of nonstop Popular or Popular Song looping in the broadcast radio in the inner world, partner suggest a song, Rhythm of Love by Plain White T's. Playing it on discord's own Rhythm apparently came with its own shuffle and find music features. 

Songs that are soft and cozy pop continues to play. There is no longer Popular playing, easily pushed away, which no miracle nor sonic screwdriver or sheer will seem to be able to disappear the repeating song. 

A moment of peace. The music now playing provides a gentle sort of tranquility. 

Crowley, appearing on my right, gave my shoulder a pat, I gave him a nuzzle in turn. 
Aziraphel, appearing on my left, give me a gentle head rub, I press into his side softly too.
Lady came up, and we rub our snout against each other a little.
Doctor walks up, gave me a beaming smile, faintly our minds touch, threads and whisper of abstract thoughts and concepts flowing back and forth. 

Everyone settled down, one by one, as I lay myself down on my side and grew big, grew long. I allow a pair of front limbs, and will away the hind limbs. Aziraphale and Crowley cuddled together, laid back against my chest. Lady curled up right at my tail, while the Doctor settled between everyone, back against my belly. We feel, for a moment of peace.

There was a sudden flash pressure that is nearly a headache for me. Localized. There is a sense that is tied to the inner world, so I went and checked.

I found the void creature outside its cave. It is extending tendrils up into the sky, making me think of Mononoke Hime’s scene with the forest god when his head got cut off. It’s slowly spreading across the sky too, the tendrils.

I try to get it to stop, talking to it, and it continues to ignore me. I still can’t sense any malice. In panic, I grew bigger.

The Doctor appeared with his sonic already scanning, I couldn’t parse or perceive if he is trying to say something, or if he couldn’t get a result. 

My mind flashed to the Doctor talking about my lack of internal organs. Put that thought on hold for another day.

Slowly, Crowley and Aziraphale showed up in sleepwear on my right, and Lady flew up next to my left. I can’t let them be hurt, they are under my care and protection now.

I grew big. And I shift. More wings popping out—one, two, three, six, eight pairs—I lost track. My neck grew longer, horns elaborate and ornate, bigger. There are two more head sprouting from my shoulders, I know they are echos of Akumu and Yajuu, I miss them, but the heads feel like husks at the moment. It feels like I’m attempting to grow more eyes, but it’s not in my being’s essence for many eyes, so instead my eyes, just the two of them, turned slit like. I don’t need my eyes to see, my nose, and my senses for the ethereal, they are strong. No legs though. Arms, I think I have one pair, but I also grew many. There are a lot of tails swishing around.

“Oi.” I called out towards the void creature. Urging it to best not hurt anyone. I don’t want to hurt it either. 

It slowly opens it’s wing-like structure, and, it floats up. I have momentary scene in my mind where it went towards my chaos cloud to be absorbed by it. 

It went up instead. 

Not wanting to wreck my barriers, I open a hole to let it pass through. It’s just gone. 

I feel exhausted. 

Shrunken back down to smaller amphithere form, I bid everyone a good night. Turning to fae to alight on the Doctor’s shoulder, I almost asked him to bring me with him, but I just blink myself back to the hidden alcove in the Den. Going to sleep this off.

There is a sense of shame when I proclaim the desire, to myself, of wanting to learn Gallifreyan.

The better course of action is probably to find a Time Lord somewhere and learn directly from them, but that can be a bit weird as well for me as an outsider. I also don't know any Time Lords immediately. Plus, scheduling complications. It feels just as awkward for me to look towards third parties that have made guides for this language.

The shame came from the fact that even with fuuinjutsu, it was a mere curiosity, a momentary pondering of maybe I should pick it up. Not only did I not continue that thought, I went for other cultures' languages instead.

The one thing when it comes to canon Naruto that saddens me is his lack of a closer connection to his Uzumaki heritage. And with my Naruto grown up as a seafaring Uzushio nomad, I ought to want to have more from the Uzumaki clan. In some way, I inherited some aspects here and there, though these aspects could very well have come from my other identities.

And now I want to learn something that's beyond the stars, time, and space, all because of the numerous circles the language seems to use. What can I say? I love circles--they're sort of my anchor.

I was watching Adventure Time with my partner. Neither of us had seen it before. We'd watch the beginning episodes and then had to re-double back due to dropping it for a while. We have a lot of different stuff to watch. In this latest re-watch (of again, only the earlier episode because we keep forgetting the story), we were on the episode where Jake tries to get his two favorite people to spend time together. I got curious about what Lady Unicorn said, since while I can't understand a lick of Korean, I can easily identify the language. I decided to look her up after the episode. I didn't even delve into the fandom page all that much.

( Something is happening... )

I'm about to have it. 

I'm starting to hate "typical euro-western dragon" in media on principle. 

I'm starting to despise fire element immediate, default association with draconity. 

I can't not look at scale four legs two membranous wings spiked scutes platemail tail spade and not feel disappointment. Or hoarding gold and precious gems feline behavior medieval setting cave and castles powerful and large and feel like wanting to tear up something.

Having a couple of these in a setting at a time is fine. But treated as a default state, must have for dragons?

This is NOT about identity (in case I need to say it). This is about dragons as design, dragons as creatures created, for story narrative and game pieces, this is about people's imagination--or lack thereof. This is about putting dragon in boxes and maybe anglocentrism in media. Because sometimes people give eastern storm dragon fire power--just because it's a dragon.  

Having some people think that dragons are to be a specific way is disheartening. I grew up with stories of dragons around the world, with media that are expansive with what dragon means. This? This little box I keep finding people put dragons in? This is an utter disgrace. Madness. 

We are the beyond-normative community. We should always challenge what's "normal", "typical", or "stereotypical".