good old days.

RE: LDS Faith Crisis

To my fellow Mormons—nearly four years ago I experienced a faith crisis. It was an experience I neither sought out nor desired. A challenging time and probably one of, if not the most, difficult in my life. As an orthodox believer of 35+ years (one of my nicknames in high school was ‘Mormon’), to suddenly have your worldview turned upside down is quite terrifying. It’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I’m not sharing this to get sympathy, praise, or Facebook likes, but rather to help others. Sadly, this is something we often avoid discussing. During my faith crisis I had only three people supporting me. I felt nearly all alone. And I had a partner who was not only tremendously supportive, but also relatively on the same page as me. Many are not this fortunate; they are often all alone and feel hopeless. I’ve seen this firsthand on multiple occasions as people reach out to me looking for help and comfort. Perhaps surprisingly, it’s often people you don’t expect. People who never like or comment on my Facebook wall, but discreetly message me to talk about their challenges.

For anyone reading this who has gone through this difficult experience, I want you to know (1) Feel free to reach out to me as a listening ear & supportive friend and (2) Know that you are loved & have hope brighter days are ahead. I’m grateful for where this transition has taken me and hope you can also find your best journey.

USMNT: How the hell did this happen?

“Soccer is not about justice.  It’s a drama – and criminally wrong decisions against you are part and parcel of that.” – Pete Davies

Devastating. Heartbreaking. There’s no other way to put it. Our loss to Trinidad & Tobago and failure to qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia is the lowest point ever in US Soccer history. That includes Men or Women. Pro, Collegiate, or International. This is worse than the France ’98 debacle, the women losing in the Germany ’11 Final, losing in the ’16 Olympics Quarters, the men not qualifying for Mexico ’86, the demise of the NASL, etc. To say this is a dark time is an understatement.

The sad reality is that this has been brewing for a long time. It’s just this failure finally caught up to us. This started at least seven years ago for the USMNT, decade plus for our youth (U15-U23) sides, and decades for US Soccer Federation and our youth development. Perhaps Alexi Lalas (and Taylor Twellman for that matter) is more of an oracle than we previously thought.

With our nation’s large population, infrastructure, resources, monetary investment, fan support, player pool size, and club options, this should NEVER happen. The days of pre-1990 should be LONG past us, but clearly, they are not. Maybe the better question is, why do I care so much? 

“Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” – Bill Shankly

I have no tie to the USMNT. I’m not a player, not on their payroll, nor do they really even know I exist. I’m simply a fan, a supporter. In Italian, fan is translated as “tifosi,” which literally means people infected by typhus. This paints a good picture of the logical nature of our love for the sport. It doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t add up. I’m a former player who simply loves and supports the team. I played the sport my entire life, attended the 1994 World Cup, countless international qualifiers and friendlies, NASL games, semi-pro games (a Blackhawks shout-out), the MLS logo reveal, MLS games (including first games for MLS, the Clash, RSL, & OCSC), MLS season ticket holder, RSL’s first intern, religiously followed the sport in the ‘80’s when you were thrilled to see day old European scores in the newspaper, and of course, any match I can watch on TV. I simply have an insatiable love for the game that I can’t explain—it’s in my biology. The game is simple, yet complex. It’s relaxing, yet frustrating. It’s both individualistic, and collective. It’s inspiring and rejuvenating. It’s exhilarating and artful. There’s a reason they call it “the beautiful game.”

“To say that these men paid their shillings to watch twenty-two hirelings kick a ball is merely to say that a violin is wood and catgut, that Hamlet is so much paper and ink.” – J.B. Priestley

And while I have many clubs I support in soccer (and other sports), there is only one that I live and die with—the US Men’s National Team. For better or worse, it’s the team that puts me on the edge of my seat. The side that I foolishly think will find a way to win every game and one day win a World Cup. And growing up when I did, we essentially always did improve—something that’s rather rare in world football. I still recall watching a VHS tape in 1989 of the World Cup qualifier when we beat Trinidad & Tobago to qualify for the first time in 40 years. We won that game off of Paul Caligiuri’s late wonderstrike, known as “The Shot Heard ‘Round the World.” Eerily coming full circle, it was another long-range strike in Trinidad & Tobago that was the difference in this cycle, only this time knocking us out of the World Cup for the first time since 1990. 

“If you’re in the penalty area and don’t know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we’ll discuss the options later.” – Bob Paisley

So what happened? Bruce is right, it is hard to play in CONCACAF. I would argue it is the most difficult region to play in—long travel distance, extreme weather, terrible pitch conditions, opposing fans (see urine & coin bombs, hotel shenanigans), etc. It is hard. But at the same time, we are also the EASIEST region to qualify in. We get 3.5 bids in a final round of 6. You basically just don’t need to suck too bad to get to the World Cup. We sucked more than too bad. It is embarrassing that we didn’t qualify. Extremely embarrassing. Yes, we forget it’s a game of inches. ’94, ’02, ’10 went our way, ’06, ’14 did not. LD doesn’t get that goal in ’10 and it’s a failure. We get the handball in ’02 and we’re likely in the Semifinal. We forget that Mexico only got in last WC due to San Zusi’s late heroics. They went on to nearly reach the Semifinal. Soccer can be a cruel game, and that is what happened to us now. Panama doesn’t get that non-goal, Deuce’s shot doesn’t go off the post, and we are having a different conversation. That being said, we should be good enough that it doesn’t come down to such small changes. We never should have got to that point. We have to be better.

We literally had a 97% likelihood of qualifying going into the last match day and we blew it. Perhaps the “fear” of the water moat the day before the game tells a larger story that first realized. We have become arrogant, but not always confident. That is a problem which eventually killed us.

While many want to “blow up the entire system” and rebuild, I think this is a silly notion. We need to fix a lot in our system, but not a total rebuild. Initially, I was writing a detailed analysis of what we need to do to fix the problem. But that doesn’t seem like the main point of this article. And ultimately, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know who does. Frankly, I don’t think anyone does. And for as bad as we currently are, the future is bright. We have come a long way since the early ‘80’s and we still have a long way to go. 

“Soccer is simple, but it is difficult to play simple.” – Johan Cruyff

So yes, much needs to be fixed. Bruce needs to resign [update: he did]. Sunil needs to not run for reelection in February and solely focus on the WC ’26 bid. We need a new president (who is full-time & paid) to bring a new vision. We need an actual technical director to institute a consistent philosophy (paging Lagerway or Bocanegra?). We need to reduce the impact of pay-to-play. We need to continue to grow MLS Academies. We need to train more local coaches and referees, and part of this is to make it more affordable for them. We need to better tap into our Latino talent. We need to have more youth go to Europe (see McKennie, Pulisic). We need MLS to give greater focus to youth players for playing time—incentivize them. We need to (dare I say this) finally get the ball rolling on Pro/Rel. We need to get back to our roots of being a “hardworking, more athletic, never tiring, working as a unit” team. We need to be confident, not arrogant. We need to be disciplined in following our game plan and style of play. We need to inject new talent NOW to get ready for the new Copa America and qualifying for Qatar. So essentially anyone over 28 is moving on (less those in transition for tutoring). We need a new coach to execute on our new vision (Marsch, Porter, Ramos, Martino, etc.). This is only a drop in the bucket. There is much work to be done and it needs to start now. 

“If this can be termed the century of the common [person], then soccer, of all sports, is surely [their] game [...] In a world haunted by the hydrogen and napalm bomb, the football field is a place where sanity and hope are still left unmolested.” – Stanley Rous

And slowly, this frustration will go away. And with all the terrible things happening in the world, it will continue to be refreshing to escape our current realities to revel in “the beautiful game.” My beloved Napoli is a great example of this right now. Our national team will bounce back and we will have future successes. The Baby Nats U-17’s run in the current World Cup is hope for this to occur.    

“Whoever invented football should be worshipped as a God.” – Hugo Sanchez

But in the end, why does this matter? Isn’t it just a silly game? Perhaps. But at the same time, what really does matter in life? Does anything matter? What is the point?

I would argue that very little matters in life. Perhaps the only thing that matters, that means something, is the relationships that we create. It’s the love that comes from those relationships. No matter how short or long that love lasts. And for me, this is why something like soccer matters. Because while it is mesmerizing to see Messi dribble through six defenders to score, Pulisic place the perfect through ball for a goal, score a goal myself in a pick-up game, or see Carli Lloyd single-handedly take over a game, it’s much more than that.

It’s having season tickets to the Clash so you and your dad can go and have time to bond together. It’s jumping up and down on your friend’s floor as you both celebrate in unbelief after Donovan scored against Algeria. It’s talking to your son about strategy as you watch a game. It’s being with friends as you play on a Saturday morning. In the end, it’s the relationships you enjoy (and in some cases, build) because of the game. Like really anything that is important in life, it’s spending time with the people you love.   

”I fell in love with football as I would later fall in love with women: suddenly, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain it would bring.” – Nick Hornby

And poetically, soccer seems to imitate life and love. It draws you in and brings you happiness. But often it breaks you when you least expect. It brings some of the greatest joy, but also some of the greatest sorrow. So maybe in the end, none of it does matter. But when you fall in love, there’s not much you can do otherwise. And I know that I shouldn’t care, but I do.  

Happy Birthday to you, my sweet boy.

More please.

Stuck with this one for 12 years now. #winning

Happy Birthday Blaire

Still adorable after all these years. Happy Birthday Blaire! We love you!

I Believe

World's Toughest Job

Porkins

sweet dreams.

It is a little crazy to think that our business school experience is almost over. It has been a hectic, but fun two years. The final project for my Work-Family Balance class summed up the experience well (you can see that Blaire was the creative genius behind this):

Easter Reminder

In Honor of Mickey

Mickey Rooney passed away (1920-2014) yesterday. He starred in countless roles, but my favorite memory of him was watching Pete's Dragon as a child. He'll be missed.

Better Energy Drinks

I Forgot My Phone

I know you've all seen it before, but it is a good reminder . . .

Meryl & Walt

Meryl Streep’s negative comments about Walt Disney are pretty disappointing. While I deeply respect her acting ability and passion for multiple causes like feminism, she is completely off-base on this one. Are we supposed to promote advancements for women by tearing others down? Where is the class in attacking someone who has been dead for nearly 50 years?

We can’t judge people’s actions 50+ years ago on today’s realities. Does that excuse Walt of certain actions? No. Was he perfect? No. Did he make mistakes? Of course. But he also did a lot of good throughout his life.

Meryl’s inaccurate and biased comments about Walt being a gender bigot? I wonder what Mary Blair, Sylvia Holland, or Phyllis Hurrell would say? Her accusation that he was a racist? Maybe Iwao Takamoto, Tyrus Wong, or Ray Aragon would feel differently. That Walt was an anti-Semite? Enter the Sherman brothers.

Meryl should do a little more research before she makes such accusatory comments and realize effective change can happen within positive frameworks, not just negative ones.

Flashback II: An oldie, but goodie from Dec 9, 2009:

Dear Santa,

You might have read my essay last year. Since you are all-knowing, I assume you did.

No hard feelings? I think you are great and all, and I watch many of your movies. But look, I also love Mickey Mouse and we both know that you guys aren't real.

So why lie to the kids? To keep an illusion and help them dreaming? We both know that you can still have dreams and not believe that you are real. Look no further than me. There isn't another adult that has dreams and acts more like a kid than myself. You can still have fun in Fantasyland
and play make believe, but know that it isn't real.

Above all this, the focus shouldn't be on a jolly, yet overweight dude like yourself, but on the Savior and how he can transform our lives for the better.

The focus shouldn't be on what am I going to get, but on who am I going to serve or give a gift to.

We shouldn't use it as a tool to keep our kids in-line. Why do that? Why lie to them?

So look Nicholas, I think you are nice, I mean, come on, our Catholic brothers & sisters made you a Saint, so you are right up there with Padre Pio. But really, we know that just like Padre Pio, you guys really don't replace the Savior or take any of our sins upon you.

So, good luck this year, hope you enjoy your ride on Rosebud and here's hoping we have no hard feelings come 2010.

And until then, if I find a piece of coal in my stocking this year, I'll understand why.

Yours Truly,

Drew

P.S. Thanks for stopping by tonight. As you noticed, Chubbs wasn't too thrilled to see you (no fault of my own), but he did like your two red fire trucks. And he liked all the lights. We enjoyed the Christmas spirit you brought us.

Flashback I: An oldie, but goodie from Dec 9, 2008:

Santa: An Essay

OK, if you haven't already blocked your kids from viewing this blog, you might want to now. I don't care for Santa. Bottom line is, I think it's sad we put so much focus on a fictional character (based on St. Nicholas) rather than the real reason for Christmas - the Savior.

I grew up believing in Santa. I eventually found out that he wasn't real. I didn't have a dramatic experience when I found out he doesn't exist and don't hold any grudges against my parents. It's kinda funny though, I remember one year (pretty much the time I found out) that I left milk and cookies for Santa. When I woke up the next morning, I noticied that he had eaten the cookies and drank the milk. He left a note saying how I should be a good boy and reminded me of the importance of the Savior. It was a cool little note and funny that Santa's distinct handwriting was so similar to my Dad's.

But I digress, this time of the year is already so commercialized, why add to it? And all the more frustrating as Christians, is that we have Santa tied to things in church. I'm not upset at the people that brought him to it, but we are having Santa at our Ward Christmas parties? Seriously? I mean, really?

We need to limit the amount of presents and just focus on the Savior. I love all the tradition and stories of Santa, but he and the reindeer shouldn't be the focus. We don't ban Santa (for now) from our home, but we'll tell Preston that Santa is make believe. And remind him that Jesus is real and the Savior for all mankind. Hopefully that won't ruin the Holiday season. And don't worry, I won't tell your kids that Santa is a sham.

Next time: The joke that is the Easter Bunny

It's Christmastime!

Dear Miley,

I am put off by all unprofessional, immature, and immodest performances. This includes you, Thicke, Lady Gaga, and many others. There is no hypocrisy here. You should all be held to the same standard. It’s not being artistic, it’s being cheap. And you are better than that. It’s unfortunate that you think you need to sink to that level to get attention. Here’s hoping you can understand where the shock comes from.

Sincerely,

A Normal Person

Can't help but like this . . .

TEDx Talk: Marketing Food to Children

DREW'S USMNT 23-MAN ROSTER as of 25 Jul 13

Just in case Jurgen asks my opinion, here is my 23 for Brazil . . . 

leaving disney.

I put off writing this post for a long time. So long in fact that it’s actually been over a year. It is crazy where life takes you. Just when you think you have it figured out and know what your path is, something changes.

I never expected to live in Florida, but after living my entire life in the West (less the two years in Italy), we found ourselves living in the Sunshine state. It all came about in the pursuit of a silly dream to work for Disney. I have always loved the company and wanted to be a part of the magic. After spending nearly a year networking, I secured a role with Disney. It truly was a dream come true. From my first day as a Cast Member walking down Main Street USA, to my final day with an amazing finance team at the DRC--I was not disappointed. Everything on the inside was just as great as what you see on the outside. The people are great, the values of the company are true, and how can you not love a company that has a mission to “create happiness?”

I could have stayed there for the rest of my career. The options were endless. I loved working in finance and had so many great opportunities to learn and connect with others. I was even able to teach new Cast Members about Disney’s heritage and traditions. Taking new hires on a tour of your company grounds can be boring, but when your company grounds are the Magic Kingdom, it feels pretty special. How can you not love walking by Cinderella’s Castle on a day at work? I’ll admit, the Florida heat wasn’t fun, but it was always nice hearing the WDW Railroad in the morning (Choo-Choo) and having a nightly fireworks show in our backyard after a long day at work.

  

Despite all these wonderful things, I knew I needed (and wanted) to go back to school to get my MBA. I wanted additional schooling and knew it was necessary to help me accomplish my career goals. Since leaving Disney, our time in Utah has been surprisingly fantastic. We have loved BYU and somewhat shockingly love living in Utah. I don’t know if we will settle here, but our short time here has been great for the family. It has definitely helped ease the pain of leaving Disney. But it has also shown me how there are so many wonderful opportunities out there for us.

I don’t know if I will ever make it back to Disney and I don’t know where we'll be in a year, but I do know the future looks bright and having an amazing family to experience it with makes it all the better.

Life is a wonderful thing that takes you on many twists and turns--like amazing experiences I never thought I’d have and incredible people I never thought I’d meet. I’m grateful for all of them and excited for what the future brings.

Despite this, there is an odd dynamic of seeing a Disney World ad on TV and happily watching it, yet at the same time trying to ignore it since I miss being a part of it so much. I don’t know if that pain ever goes away, but thankfully the wonderful memories I have from my time there will stay with me. And I guess that’s why we have memories, to remind of us great times we had previously and give us inspiration for a brighter future. We made many great memories with Disney and look forward to make many new ones in the future. I don’t know if that will be with Disney as a Cast Member, but it will at least be as a Guest.

And wherever life takes us, it is great knowing we will be taking the journey as a family, at Disney or elsewhere. It is like what Walt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

my birthday girl.

Happy birthday to the most beautiful, creative, funny, nurturing, and amazing girl around. You only get better with age.

I am so grateful to be with you and look forward to many more years together. Hope you have the best birthday ever! 

sweet elizabeth.

I have loved raising boys. Up to this point, that is all I knew. Caring for a little princess was foreign to me. I was a bit apprehensive to having a girl. Would it be different? More challenging? As fulfilling?

Needless to say, it has been incredible. Elizabeth is the most perfect, little princess that I could ever ask for. She is so sweet and calm, and she just loves being with the family. She filled a huge void in our family and has now made it complete. I couldn’t think of life without her and am so glad she is here with us.

our little princess.

He already loves her.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all! I hope we can take time to recognize our countless blessings and the miracle that is the resurrection of our Lord and Savior.

my william.

How can you not but love this boy? He is such an amazing little kid. I can't believe he is three now! He is growing so fast and is so very smart. So grateful to be his father. Happy birthday kid!

That's my boys.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

mitt.

job well done mitt. sorry it came up short, you would've been a great president.

TED

Take the time to watch this. It will be worth it: