Finding Joy

As I sat across from my friend, I looked at her sad countenance. Her dropped shoulders, look of despair & the lack of joy in her eyes. I thought, we're here to enjoy life right? We're here on this earth to find joy, create joy & spread joy. 

Being a mother is sometimes hard & hard to find joy but as I went home I had a renewed joy for motherhood. 

I didn't mind using the toilet paper pile on the bathroom floor, it meant Lacee discovered something new today & she had a great time in her discovery. Squeals of delight as that TP just, kept, coming!

I didn't mind at 2:32 am when I heard faint cries from Lacee's bedroom, it meant I got to cuddle with her uninterrupted & she'd want to cuddle me back! I woke up at 4:00, she was fast asleep. My leg was her pillow & my pillow was her foot rest. It made me smile. 

I didn't mind the gallon (yes ONE gallon) of water that got spilled on the floor, it meant I finally got that blackberry juice cleaned up from earlier this week; I had been meaning to get that & all those spots by the dishwasher...what were those from?

I didn't mind the crumbs on the table so much, it meant little kiddos had found themselves a snack & I'm grateful for their independence. And It meant they were having too much fun to remember to clean it up. 

I didn't mind the loud music I heard from the girls room...it probably meant they were having a dance party...I guess I should have joined in. I will tomorrow! Though 7 years a part, they are the best of friends. 

I didn't mind the Lego I stepped on this week, it meant the boys were being creative. 

I got teary eyed as I heard the song Return to Pooh Corner, it reminded me of being pregnant for the very first time. The joy I had as I felt that little human growing inside me. And how grateful I was for each of my pregnancies, for each of the little spirits I got to share my body with for 9 months. To feel them move, to hear their heart beat & to see my belly get bigger. The song also made me a little broken hearted knowing I wouldn't feel that joy again. 

I'm grateful for the garage door I hear open every night at 5:15 it means my other half, the person that makes me whole is final home. It means he has a job, and a good job that he goes to each week, with little complaint & provides for our family. I'll admit, some day's my enthusiasm is hidden under a dozen loads of laundry, a sick kid, a pile of dishes & a dog with ADHD (can u medicate a dog? Just curious), but my heart is always happy when I hear that garage door open at 5:15. He's home & he's safe. 

Im grateful for forgiveness, for "I'm sorry's" & "I love you's", for trials & for mended hearts. I'm grateful for the power of prayer, for faith, for hope & mostly for love, families & joy. 

We're here on this earth to find joy, create joy & spread joy. It's my prayer that we can have joy...

Hiatus

When your on hiatus for 3 years...where do you begin? I'm not really sure why my journalism skills have been lacking lately and it saddens me that I have missed out on some of the fun things in my kids' life!

And it kills me that a years worth of pictures are gone & can't seem to be returned! Well, here goes nothing!

As I sit here trying to be comforted by good music the tears still stream down my face. I am in shock that today now marks the day that I lost my dad. I can't believe it. So here I write to get this all out of my head. It's 6:00 am and Mike is out of town. So I sit here in the quiet of my house. Kids are still in bed. I don't really know how to tell them that they lost their Papa today. It makes me so sad that Aubree will be one tomorrow and will never remember him. I hope Spencer will kind of remember. I think this is the first time I have ever wanted the kids to wake up early. I just need someone to hug! Grandma and Papa left for Africa a couple weeks ago and were suppose to be back tomorrow. I wish I could have seen him come home.

My heart aches for my mom.

6:30 I decided to go wake up Kaylee. Then the phone rang it was Pam, then it rang again it was Sheri. 6:45 I heard little foot steps, it was Kaylee. We just laid on the couch and cried together. She was so sad. But it was nice to have someone to hug and cry with. She takes after her mama...she has a tender heart. By 7 Spencer came down, I knew he wouldn't understand. I just told him we wouldn't get to see Bultez Papa, he went to live with Jesus in Heaven and then the 3 of us cuddled til Jake came down. Jake took it hard too. Not as hard as Kay, but he was upset. Then the 4 of us laid on the couch together until around 7:30.

Aubrees awake now, its good to have her smiling spirit awake. But I just need Mike...

Bend, OR

We decided on one last camping trip before summer ended!!  We headed to Bend, OR where it was nice and hot! The kids had a blast.  We played in the river most of the day and did a little exploring one afternoon, but it was a little hot for hiking! But it was gorgeous!

 Those are some good looking kids!!  The above ones, not the below ones ;)!

Oregon Days...

I guess coming home wasn't the end of the world.  It was at least sunny and warm. Great weather to have all the neighbors over to play and perfect for a lemonade stand and tea parta'!

And fabulous for crashing Uncle Timmy's pool! Saweeeeet! We kinda took over the entire pool and for weeks on end.  It's really fun.  We have been driving over here as soon as all the day care kids are gone and then I can't get the kids to leave.  They are finally comfortable around the pool and can dive right in and swim around.  I love it...I predict next summer we wont have this luxury.  I predict Uncle Timmy will be getting married and move away where there is no pool...hum. Just my predictions!!

 

 FISH!

Meridian...where the sun always shines!

OK, not everyone cool lives in Utah, some cool people live in Idaho!

 long afternoon swimmin' with the Bultez cousins is really tiring!  Too much fun in the sun...

 ...zzzzzzzzzz...

 But never too tired for a date night :)!! Out at all you can eat sushi with Eric and Mari!

Well the sun finally sets on our month long summer vacation.  It's hard to come go home after spending 24x7 with all our favorite people...back to reality :'(