Happy Anniversary!

Eldon and I had such a nice one-year anniversary. We just got in the car and spent some time walking and talking together. It was so fun for me to hear the stories he'd tell me about growing up and the memories he had of certain places and people in his home town. I can't believe we've been married for a whole year. In so many ways it feels like we've only been together for five minutes, but then you realize that it's hard to remember what it was like NOT to be married, so it must be longer than that. Oh, and the huge bump on my belly makes quite a noticeable time-line as well. :) We're just happy. It feels like every season we get to is the best one so far. I hope it continues that way forever. Even hard moments, days, weeks, have their own sacred kind of beauty and joy. I love him and I can't wait for our next adventures together!

Merry Christmas!

This was our first Christmas together and we just loved it. We drove to Arizona on December 18th (to be at the airport when John, Eldon's brother, got home from his mission in Brazil) and stayed until January 2nd. :) Long vacation! We didn't have anything to come back for, so we just stayed and stayed. It was a little strange for me - being away from my own parents and siblings for the holidays - but the Snyders made me feel loved and welcome. I couldn't have had a better holiday than the one they gave me. Eldon's mom was especially kind. I can't even count the number of times she asked me if I were comfortable and what I needed or wanted. What a sweetheart! It was the closest I've ever felt to having my own mom with me when she wasn't.

For the first week of our vacation Melissa was there too, a sister-in-law who is also pregnant. But after she left I was the designated queen and everything was done to make me comfortable. I would have been totally embarrassed by all that attention had they not been so sincere and funny about it. If I was hot the fans went on. :) If I found a place on the couch that didn't hurt my back, the table (where we were playing games) was moved so I didn't have to get up. :) It was hilarious. I just love them.

And after having spent so much time with them I feel like they're my family too, and not just Eldon's. It's a good feeling. That was probably my favorite Christmas surprise of the whole holiday. I can't wait until the next time we're all together!

Taco Bell, Piano Music, and Embarrassment

My dear friend Camilla and I had quite an eventful morning. We'd decided last night that we were going to get together this morning to run a few errands and just catch up on our lives. It had been about a week since our last visit which is too long. So I picked her up at her house, playing her piano for a few minutes while she finished doing what she was doing around the house, and then we left. First item of business: getting a December Ensign at the Distribution Center and returning a book to Deseret Book. Of course this month's Ensign was sold out, which irritated me because I'll just have to go back later. Then I went next door to Deseret Book to return a book that was a little embarrassing to return. Enough said. You can ask me if you're unbearably curious.

Then we went to the mall to grab a few things Camilla needed, namely Christmas sheet music. She's becoming quite the proficient at the piano. I'm proud of her. I, however, am on the downward slope and will probably continue in that direction until Eldon and I get a piano at some future day when our apartment isn't the size of a large closet. :) My little talent - meager as it was - is threatening to be covered in dirt and all manner of foulness and I know I'm going to lose it if I don't do something soon. I just don't know. Maybe Chiara and I will hang out at Camilla's house while Daddy's at school. Probably. Then, Camilla, your whole house can smell like baby. I wish there were a candle of baby smell. I'd be their #1 customer.

Anyway, after the mall we decided that a traditional Taco Bell run was in order and we made the plan to grab some food and then eat it at her place while we watched a movie before she had to go to work. So we're at the drive-thru and we have a surprising number of responses to the speaker's question, "Anything else?" "Why yes, actually ... " It got kind of ridiculous. How do two young girls (that's a bit of a euphamism) spend $10 at Taco Bell? Oh, it's easy, you just keep ordering stuff! So after he tells us the total I started driving to the window to pay. I started jokingly talking to the person who had taken our order, as if she could hear me. "What do you mean is this food just for us? No, we uh, have lots of roommates and we're bringing this back for them. Actually, the two of us aren't going to be eating any of it, we're just delivering it to the needy ... " etc. etc. I'm so funny sometimes, and in that moment we were dying laughing. Which, for Camilla, was a little tragic because she'd just taken a HUGE drink of her large and spacious gallon-sized bottle and started choking on it. I had just turned over to her, slightly repentant of my commentary, when she opened the passenger door and spit out all the water she'd been gagging on ... which of course made us laugh even harder. We are two very, very classy individuals. I wonder what the people behind us were thinking. Who cares?

Anyway, the moral of the story is that everyone should have a friends who they can be silly with and not worry that their friend's love or respect will diminish in any way. :) I love you, Camilla!

P.S. Favorite quote from the movie we watched: (pregnant friend speaking to non-pregnant friend) "Whatever ... I'm a sacred vessel - all you have in YOUR stomach is Taco Bell!" Needless to say we laughed about that through our mouthfuls of taco and nacho deliciousness. :) True!!

Cranberry Orange Cookies

I made Eldon the cranberry orange cookies he loves so much this morning as a surprise for when he got home from the women's shelter. It's been a hectic, stressful week for both of us (mostly for him, since I couldn't care very much less about my grades at this point) and he needed a little perk at the end of it. So I made the cookies, frosted them with orange glaze, and proceeded to make lunch (spaghetti with meat sauce ... so yummy on a snowy day). He was so happy when he came in the door. He'd had a good experience at the shelter and he was about to eat a hot meal with cookies afterward. Life doesn't get too much better in his mind than that. :)

Anyway, it's hours later and I took a little break from writing my essay responses for my last final to text a friend and eat a cookie. But the problem is that it's Saturday, and I made a goal to only eat treats on Sundays. I also made the mistake of having Eldon help me with said goal and he committed to being, as he puts it, "tough as nails, mean as snakes" about it.

So, back to today. I reach for a cookie, the smallest one of them all, and just as I'm bringing it to my mouth and my salvatory glands are preparing themselves to receive it, Eldon flies up from the couch and holds my arm away from my mouth. I switch the cookie to the other hand, frantically trying to get one good bite before he can react, but he's too quick for me. I drop it on the counter and lean over, with Eldon holding my arms back, to bite at it without my hands. But again, he's too quick, strong, tall for me to be able to get that cookie anywhere near my mouth where it belongs.

We're both dying of laughter by this time, and he feels me relax my arms in resignation and leads me over to the couch.

"You're so mean!" I exclaim, still laughing.
He just gives me this look where he smirks and just kind of shakes his head. It would be infuriating if I didn't just adore him so much.

We went back to studying and in a minute he takes the computer off my lap, pulls me over in a hug and says, "Let me hold you for a minute. You made a goal to only eat treats on Sunday and I told you I'd help you. But sometimes that goal changes, I guess, and it's hard for me to keep up. Which Shelli do you want me to be loyal to, the one who set the goal or the one who wants to break it?" His voice is just so gentle and sweet that I know he's being 100% sincere.

"The good one." I say. What else CAN I say?

"That's what I thought." he responded. Then he kissed my cheek, put my laptop back on my lap, and went back to studying his genetic book.

I just love him. That's the whole reason for this post. I absolutely love him.

And here is the bread I made earlier this week. Half wheat half white ... What would that make it, Bryce? I think it rhymes with Hulatto. :) Anyway, I was pretty proud that it turned out looking like actual bread. I'd only ever made rolls before.

Just Grateful

I had a melt-down the other night. I knew it was coming because I was becoming increasingly irritable and flippant (my surest sign of being unhappy). But Eldon came back from brushing his teeth a couple nights ago to find me on my knees sobbing through my nighttime prayer. Poor thing. It's hard for him to see me like that. Sometimes life just gets overwhelming and I just don't know what to do with myself about it. But there are a few truths that always bring me peace.

I know that when we pray God listens. As soon as we address Him, as soon as our mind shifts into prayerful directions, the Creator of the universe turns His majestic head toward us and we have His full attention. He hears our cries. He is quick to comfort His children and eager to forgive their folly. I heard it said once that God will grant us the smallest punishment and the greatest blessings He can manage to justify with the laws of heaven, and I think that's true. I don't always treat Him as if He were that way, nor do I treat myself as a recipient of that kind of mercy, but when I'm the most honest and soul-searching that is the God I find behind the stirrings of my heart. I love Him for helping me to see more clearly. Often times it's myself I need to see more clearly.

I am grateful for a husband who loves me with all his heart. Early in our marriage Eldon taught me a fantastic lesson. In the Bible it tells us to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment" (Mark 12:30). The next verse reminds us to "love thy neighbour as thyself" (Mark 12:31). But our commandment as to how we love our spouses requires almost the same quality of devotion as our love for God. The Bible exhorts husbands to "love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Eph. 5:25). That's a lot of love! In the Doctrine and Covenants (which is a compilation of revelations from God to Joseph Smith and other prophets in recent years) husbands are reminded to "love thy wife with all thy heart" (D&C 42:22). Hence the only person we love more than our spouse should be God - we love ourselves and everyone else less than them. Eldon loves me that way. And in my breakdown moments I find him beside me, anxious to help and full of devotion. What a blessing he is in my life.

Those are my thoughts for today, dear Reader. I think we all have our little storms every now and then but the calm is never more beautiful than right after they break.

Great Morning

So...I went in to get my glucose test done today. That was joyous. Let me tell you how it went.

I got up, made Eldon lunch and forced myself to maintain my 12-hour fast when all my pregnant self wanted in life was a piece of toast. I called the BYU Health Center and asked if they did the kind of test I needed that morning and they said they did. So I went out to the car, scraped off all the ice on my windows, and drove over. I waited for a few minutes in the lab and then they called my little name and I went over to the front desk. They did these two tests, the guy showed me on my chart, but not that one, pointing to the Rogam (however you spell it) test.

Note: for those of you who have never had a baby or who have never had to worry about this test because you have positive blood, let me tell you how it works. I have O- blood, so if Eldon has A+, B+, or O+ I have to be given a shot that makes me (and future babies) safe from the attack of antibodies who would see any positive-blooded babies as a threat and try to kill it. A Rogam shot would keep me and future babies safe from that attack. But again, the threat is only there if Eldon has positive blood.

So, I decided that for the sake of only being stuck with a needle once, I'd go to the hospital where they can get all the blood they need for every test I needed done in one shot. So I get there (eventually) through Provo traffic that is enough to make a mild-tempered woman like me want to swear and gesture. Really. It's crazy and ridiculous. I park the car, walk a million miles to the information desk to ask where the lab is (while said walking made my tummy cramp up ... not my favorite thing) and the lady with the badly applied eye shadow tells me I have to go to "the new building" which is several hundred meters away. Blankity blank blank blank! So, I smile and internally curse her as I make the journey BACK to my car by means of a much more careful and slower-paced gait. I get in the car, put it in reverse, and I'm suddenly blinded by a ray of sunlight that is coming from a small UNNECESSARY slit in the parking garage wall and I back into a big, Provo-huge red truck with a double cab and an extended cab that is parked on the opposite side of the aisle.

At this point I'm momentarily humbled, and bad thoughts cease while I realize I've been irrational and my anger and frustration has probably landed me a big chunk of change to fix our car and possibly the big red one. I park again, get out to check, and after assessing that there was no damage done (aside from the fact that I had to knee one of our panels in the back into alignment again), my rage flared up again. Rolling my eyes in instant irritation I got back into the car without leaving a note for the other driver, and attempt to find the bleeping "new building" I never knew about.

I did find it, thanks to Ms. Eyeshadow's condescending directions, and quickly got myself signed in. My fast was only a food fast, so I was allowed to drink water ... which was helpful in warding off the nausea that comes from not feeding my pregnant self every two hours or so. I've never felt like such a slave to my body before. It's really weird. Usually my spirit can throw her weight around and intimidate my body into submission, but not in pregnancy. I'm having a hard time getting used to that. Anyway, because of above-mentioned water consumption I had to go to the bathroom STAT (which, I admit, may have contributed to the cranky factor). While I was there I dropped my water bottle which broke on the floor and gushed everywhere. That ticked me off. That was my favorite bottle. You know those slim "Smart Water" ones? Yeah. I loved that thing. So I washed my hands, cursing the little hand sensor thing that was supposed to dispense paper towel at my command and wasn't going fast enough for my needs. I made it out of the bathroom and into an uncomfortable chair from which my feet did not comfortably reach the bleeping ground. Big plus. I read a few pages of my book when my little buzzer went off telling me one of the nurses was ready to attend to me at Station 3. Okay. Moving to Station 3. Op, nope, Station 2. Morons. So I sit down, give the lady my Doctor's order, and answer all her questions as nicely as I could. "Do you still work at Media Learner?" she asked, innocently. "Oh, no, I don't." I replied, but thanks for bringing it up. She handed me the sugary juice I was supposed to drink in the next five minutes. "Oh, and the cap is loose, so don't shake it." Good thing you told me, Terry (oh, that was her name), or I would have for sure given that thing a good shake. Honestly. I returned to my seat of discomfort, sipping my juice as quickly as I could while trying not to think about how nauseated it was making me. Five minutes is not a lot of time to down 10 ounces of really sugary orange soda stuff after a 14-hour fast. (It was supposed to be 12 hours, but after all the delays it was quickly becoming longer.)

Somehow, dear Reader, I managed to keep that stuff down. And in an hour they called my name, pinched my arm with that tourniquet thing, stuck me and took exactly three vials of blood. I tried to be all nice and friendly, asking the nurse about her twin daughters who she had pictures of hanging from her neck. Quite the metaphor. She told me sometimes she'd like to just ship them off and not deal with them. Okay. Sorry I asked. Don't take your frustration out on your eyeliner tomorrow ... that much black is not flattering. Oh, you have a great day too. Thanks for the huge blue bruise on my arm.

Turns out, Eldon needed to have his blood taken because they wouldn't take my word that he was A-. Poor thing. He was NOT a happy camper. I think needles are his absolute biggest fear. That and a depleted bank account. :) When I got home from the hospital I ate and went immediately to bed. Eldon was on campus taking a test, but as soon as he got home we went to the BYU Health Center and got his blood work done. He got an A on his test, by the way. :) After much bravery and just slightly panicked breathing he was done, the blood was taken, and we were free to go. Well, after we sat there for a while so he wouldn't pass out on the way to the car. Then we were free to go. So we drove home to the sounds of me attempting to congratulate him on doing something he hated and the quiet of him not being willing to talk about it. It was kind of funny ... but only to me. :)

A few hours later I got a call from the nurse who wouldn't believe me when I told her Eldon's blood type was A- to confirm that the test results were back and sure enough he was A-. Go figure. Good thing Eldon didn't answer the phone. :) All 10 kids in his family have the same blood type, and that somehow made her suspicious that I was misinformed. Poor Eldon. And his wife. :)

So, all in all, it was a pretty lousy day. But it's over, and looking back it's kind of entertaining in its own way. Oh and don't worry, I've cleaned up my mental language since then too so I'm not going straight to the devil.

P.S. I made the mistake of asking Eldon how to spell tourniquet. I'm not allowed to ever ask him that again. :) We might have to rethink med school.

Comments?

Sorry, I'd turned off my comment setting somehow ... So thank you to those of you who told me you couldn't post on here. I hope it's fixed because I love hearing from you!

Daddy's Nose

Oh, dear reader ... my daughter has a huge nose. I went in for my appointment today and they wanted to do a follow-up ultrasound because last time Chiara wouldn't move her hands out of the way enough for the doctor to get a good look at her heart. So, I went in and got all slathered up with that warm gooey stuff and we took another look at her. That's always so fun! She's so much bigger than the last time I saw her 8 weeks ago. I wonder if I'll ever stop staring at her once she comes. I wonder if I'll ever put her down. I wonder if she'll ever learn to walk. I wonder if her nose is really as big as it looks like it is from that ultrasound picture.

I wish I'd had the presence of mind to ask the doctor about average baby nose sizes and how one might be able to determine from an ultrasound, hypothetically, if one's child had a hugie or not. But I was distracted by Chiara's cute little arm movements and the radiologist's measurements. Her heart beat is a strong 150+ per minute and everything looks perfect and normal. Well ... I clearly have my concerns ... but she's strong and healthy and I just can't WAIT to hold her! I keep telling Eldon, "I just want to HOLD her! Just for five minutes then I'll put her back." It doesn't work that way, thank goodness, because who would EVER want the responsibility of putting the baby back in there? I'd be racking my brain for alternatives.

You know, people are always warning me that I should relish pregnancy because it's "so much harder to be a mom." But bring it on!! My gosh, when you can tickle their little feet and hold them and kiss them and rock them to sleep I don't care HOW hard it is, how sleep deprived I become, at least you can SEE them! That's got to be more rewarding than the occasional swooshing sensations. For the love. I hate being pregnant, so no one try to tell me it's somehow a superior state than the mommy stage I'm craving. :) Anyway, back to today.

Chiara was kicking the radiologist the whole time she checked her heart. It was so funny to me. "Wow," she said. "She's an active one, isn't she?" Oh yes ... yes she is. I don't know very many things about our daughter yet, but I do know she loves to move around. Once in the car I kind of yelped mid-sentence because I felt her head swoosh across the top of my ribs somewhere. It's all a blur, and if Eldon were carrying this baby he'd be able to say which organs she's bumping into in there, but in my ignorance I just feel her swooshing. She especially hates it when I use my belly as a book rest. Sometimes she kicks so hard I honestly think I can see the book jump. It tickles me. But I do hope she comes out nice. And I do hope her nose isn't as big as it looks from that ultrasound.

Our 4-year-old niece (the one who puked on me last weekend) asked me if Chiara will "come out cute". I sure hope so, but I'm not going to be one of those denial mothers who blindly thinks her baby is adorable. If that nose comes out as big as her daddy's I'm going to be open and honest about it. When I showed Eldon the ultrasound picture (that I just took a picture of with my own camera, so it's not very clear) I said, "Yep, Honey, no doubt she's yours!" He laughed at me and said there's no way to judge the relative size of Chiara's nose because we can't see the rest of her face well enough. But I've been telling him for the last 6 - no, 11 months - that if he gives his nose to our daughters I'd be mad at him. :) It's one of our jokes, mostly because he loves his nose and HOPES our babies inherit it. Merciful. I just hope Chiara's isn't as big as it looks.

But lest you think I'm being cruel here, Reader, (to offspring OR spouse) I have to tell you that I have nothing but love and devotion to both the other members of my little family. When we're all in heaven, which will present the VAST majority of our existence, noses won't matter one bit. Anyone can be born into the world with a pretty face and it's no reflection of our character or our choices - which are our defining characteristics. It's our hearts that matter and that's completely up to us. I'm just having a little bit of anxiety as I imagine consoling my daughter as she cries on her bed about the kids at school teasing her because her nose is so ginormous. Kids are mean! Those of you who know me well can no doubt picture the expression of panic that will spring to my face uninvited: "What can I SAY to this child without lying??" I'm simply girding up my loins to deal with that issue should it arise. But in the meantime I just hope her nose isn't as big as it looks.

Thanksgiving Is Over...

Wow...we had quite a week! BYU lost to Utah, which put Eldon in a relative depression for days. It didn't help that while we were watching the game at Eldon's brother's house our niece threw up all over my lap, and Eldon - my hero - cleaned it off me while I held a dryer sheet to my nose and tried not to throw up myself from the smell of it. :) How could a four-year-old make so much of something so disgusting smelling?? It was not our greatest night.

Then my own family came into town and we laughed and joked together for hours almost every day. Eldon and I spoke in Sacrament Meeting on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and Bryce and Haley spoke the Sunday after, so my parents got to go to both meetings and relish in watching their children give talks. Ours were about finding joy in the journey and theirs were about the significance of the Sacrament. It was a neat time for all of us. There's something unique about being taught gospel truth by those you love most in the world ... That's probably why FHE is so great.

We discovered a new game we LOVE: Loaded Question. Have you played? My goodness, it's so fun. Each person on their turn reads a question and then has to match all the other players' answers to who wrote them. So in-laws were at a distinct disadvantage because only growing up in the same household could possibly help anyone to understand why we are the way we are. But there were some FUNNY questions that made my dad almost pass out from laughing so hard (he does that). Once Dad had this one: "What's the most beautiful word you can think of?" and we all had to guess what HIS answer would be. We guessed things like family, Mom, atonement, things like that. But he'd written "beautiful" because he's a smart alec. Then on one of his next turns his question was: "What's the funniest word you can think of?" (and those were the only two questions like that we'd seen in the whole game). Needless to say Dad got a LOT of points that round because we all guessed "funny". And while it may not sound that amusing to you, we were all howling with laughter the whole game. Mom was trying to guess which of us said our favorite category of Jepordy was "Literary Characters" and was leaning toward guessing it was Shauna's answer. I couldn't believe it! "Yeah," I said. "If it's literary characters in the Twilight series!" (because Shauna isn't the most ... voratious reader). It was actually my answer. Bryce had answered "Language and Literature" and Haley had written "Literature". So we're all pretty nerdy. Eldon wrote "The Founding Fathers" because he's been on this Constitution kick lately and reads books about government for fun. Anyway, it was a fun fun game and we loved playing it all together.

With Eldon's family we played MarioKart on the Wii and that was entertaining. It could make you seasick! My mercy, I could only play a couple races at a time before I had to hand my little stick thing to someone else to play. Our 5-year-old nephew was holding an unattached remote in his hand because someone had convinced him that he was one of the players. He got pretty into it. He kept asking, "Did I win??" We got a kick out of him. Also, we played Baci Ball (is that how you spell it?) and Eldon and I kicked some serious trash. Well, sometimes. We won, but it was only because no one had been keeping score and we decided that the last round would win. :) But still, we did pretty well. We didn't have enough balls so Eldon's brother Lance used big Arizona oranges instead. Sometimes those worked better on the grass than real balls ... until Eldon aimed right for them and knocked them and they flew out of the way squirting juice across the lawn. :)

My mom and I went to Joann Fabrics while Shauna stood in line for us and Eldon and Dad stayed in the car reading their books. :) That was fun. We were only in there for about 45 minutes, but we got some GREAT stuff on sale. I got some super cute fabric to make Chiara two more blankets (despite Eldon's teasings that a baby doesn't need more than 3 blankets). I just love that minty sage-ish color they make baby fabric out of. I got some soft fluffy green and a silky cream to go on the back of it. That may not sound cute, but it will be. :) Also I got some brown silky and some more lacey eyelet fabric to patchwork with my red polka dots on cream fabric. I'm putting soft, stonewached denim on the back of that one. But I promised Eldon I'd finish my online classes before I started any more projects, so the fabric is just sitting in my craft corner waiting for me. :) It's a huge motivator.

I may have mentioned that I bought Eldon a sweater for his birthday. It was wool, and while it says "Dry Clean Only" I've always just washed wool in cold water and then hung it to dry and I've been just fine. So, I bought it - willing to do the bit of extra work for the sake of Eldon wearing warm wool. However, I didn't think to tell him about the unique washing requirements of his new sweater because, frankly, I do the wash around here. It didn't even occur to me to warn him. But Eldon, seeing I was busy with my family in town and everything put a load of wash in the washer on Saturday morning while I was at Joann's with my mom. He'd just put the load in the dryer (a load of whites, no less) as I came home before 10:00am so he could get to his Saturday morning commitment at the women's shelter. He mentioned casually as he was walking out the door that he'd done a load of laundry. I kissed him gratefully, sent him off to his thing, and turned my attention to cleaning the rest of our little home. About an hour later I checked the dryer (our dryer is lousy so we usually have to run two dryer cycles to get our things dry) and found - amid the white sheets and shirts and things - his grey WOOL sweater ... which was now small enough for a 4-year-old. :) I laughed out loud, because what else could I do, at the irony of the situation. His brand new sweater ruined because he'd tried to help me around the house. It was my fault for not telling him, because he's so good at pitching in around here that I had no basis for my assumption that he wouldn't do laundry. Anyway, if anyone knows how to salvage a teeny tiny wool sweater and make it man-wearable again let me know. :)

P.S. Chiara has been kicking me the entire time I've been writing this, so I send you her salutation and hope that when she's holdable she finds other, more docile means of communication. :)

Happy Birthday, Eldon!!

A quick picture outside our front door. I'm hoping to get some good pictures of the two of us while my mom is in town this next week. The fall colors are irresistable to me!! Moving on...


It was my darling's birthday yesterday ... He opened presents to the smell of hot pancakes (with chocolate chips) in the morning, studied on campus all afternoon (not his favorite thing), and then when he got home we read for a little while before going to Cafe Rio and "Aida" at the Hale Theatre. It was so fun!! I bought the tickets a month ago and we were right in the second row ... very cool. And while we both discussed the oft times less than stellar vocal capacities of a few of the cast members we enjoyed ourselves.

Oh! But we got there 30 minutes before we could go in so I said, "Let's go to Kmart across the street and look at baby things for a few minutes while we wait." That was an experience. I had to use their restroom (of course) and felt I needed to disinfect my entire self afterward ... I didn't even want to breathe in there. Sheesh. Then all the baby stuff was ugly and we ended up laughing and threatening each other to dress our child in this outfit or that one ... It was funny. There was a little onsie that said, "Grandma Bait" which made us laugh, and then when we found the one that said, "Who needs Santa? I have Grandpa!" we liked that one even better. But the thing that made me laugh most was Eldon's reaction to some of the toddler clothing for girls. He's convinced that people are dressing their daughters like little mini tramps and they need to stop. :) Do 2-year-olds need little black leather mini skirts? I think not. Anyway, it was a good day and we loved spending so much of it together. Fridays are great because he doesn't have classes (just one TA thing at 9:00am) and I don't work! Yahoo!!

Then this morning we went to breakfast with Bryce and Haley at Kneaders which was yummy. It was great to sit and just laugh and chat with them for an hour and a half before Haley and Eldon both had meetings to go to. We took a few pictures in the parking lot. I'm including the belly shot here because I know people are dying of curiosity to see my bump. Chiara's getting to be quite a good kicker. When I use my tummy as a book rest while I read she will try to kick the book off every single time without fail. It's funny. Sometimes the kicks are so hard I honest-to-goodness think I can see my book jump a little. She cracks me up. I can't wait to hold her.

This past Sunday we got together with Eldon's siblings and their families for his birthday, which was also fun. Sharlene made an awesome cake and we all chatted for a long time. Gosh I love them. I think part of the reason I knew I could marry Eldon was that I loved his siblings so much. What great people they are! I'm really starting to feel like they're my brothers and sisters too now.

P.S. I got him those pants and that jacket for his birthday, and the book he'd mentioned he wanted to read, Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. Oh, and a toy lightsaber I found on Amazon in the kids' department. :)

Domestic Goddess

I am officially unemployed. Long story. Basically the company I worked for was a complete joke. I guess that wasn't such a long story. It could be, and it felt like one, but I'll spare you the details. So the company went under -- completely blind-sighting every employee -- and while some of the staff were found jobs at the company who bought us out I was not among that number. I was told by one of our upstanding executives to "just keep having that baby." I'm serious. So I gave my 24 hours notice (along with my fellow receptionist) and Friday was our last day. I was like a slave for them, and they completely disregarded me because I'm pregnant and I'd no longer be an asset. Oooh, that irked me. Irks me. Will irk me. So no more angry client phone calls, no more post-it notes with tasks for me to do that are totally NOT my job, no more cleaning up corporate messes, no more getting in trouble for thinking a client is right, no more lying that so-and-so is in a meeting and will call you right back (over and over and over ... yep, he's STILL in a meeting ... go figure), no more running reports that make no sense, no more begging fellow employees to do their jobs (like take phone calls, answer voicemails, and be punctual), and no more pretending to believe the prepared speeaches of my superiors about the value of our services. I'm done. I'm a housewife now. :)

So this is what I've spent the last two days doing:

• going to the gym (for my not-so-rigorous bike/elliptical/treadmill routine)
• cleaning the house (vacuuming, scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, disinfecting, straightening, polishing, etc)
  
• baking bread
• making dozens of my husband's favorite cookies
• organizing drawers / closets
• grocery shopping
• errand running
• cooking breakfast
• packing lunches
• cooking dinner
• ironing
  
• a little bit of homework

Basically all the usual things, but without 8 hours a day spent at a job I hate. It's nice. I even took a nap yesterday. My joy is full. And so is Eldon's ... He's all kinds of spoiled now. :)

Eldon Painted My Toenails

I can, from a standing position, reach down and easily touch my toes. But somehow it's different from a sitting position, bringing my knees up so I can paint my toenails. I can't reach. My big belly gets in the way and it hurts and I hate it. So Eldon painted them.

"How hard can it be?" he asked me, as he eagerly took the bottle of crimson red polish. I watched him paint, smiling to myself, because he was so intent on his task. I only had to suggest that he not paint side to side, but only up and down. We were going to do two coats, but he did an excellent job and I didn't feel the need to commandeer his time any longer. I'll post a picture of my toes on here when I get home. :) I was so impressed with him. Some toes are darker than others, but overall I'd say his performance was most exemplary.

Now for the next story...

It was Macsen's birthday on Monday and Eldon and I brought him some (sugar-free) cookies. I was wearing my sweats and because they're too long for me I held them up with my hands so they wouldn't drag in the rain and mud. Eldon, who remembers everything I say, turned to me and jokingly said, "Honey, you're not holding my hand. It looks like we're not even dating."

(I've mentioned before how I love to watch the experimental daters of Provo. He asked me how I can tell they're not actually official couples yet and I told him it's because they're not touching or holding hands.)

"Fine!" I said, and I grabbed both pant legs in my right hand and held his with my left. But, that left me ... how can I put this delicately ... looking very much like I was holding my own crotch.

"This doesn't look good, Honey." I joked, looking down at myself.

Eldon turned to look at me and released my hand. "Yeah, you can't walk around like that."

"Are you ashamed of me??" I asked him, feigning offense and using both hands to hold up my pants again.

"I'm not embarrassed of YOU, just of a few of your habits." he said, in his nicest most sincere voice.

"Oh, Honey, I'm putting that on the blog."

Prop 8 Aftermath

I believe in agency. I believe that agency was important enough to God that He lost a third part of His children in order to grant that gift to the others. I believe gay individuals should have the freedom and the right to live and love as they choose. They can choose their lifestyle the same way heterosexuals choose theirs. If they want to live together, register as a couple, share health plans, etc. that's really fine with me. I don't see any reason to object. There are many good-hearted gay couples who contribute to society and make fantastic neighbors and friends. I cannot expect them to exercise their agency according to a belief system they don't have. If they don't think homosexuality is wrong, as I do, why would they choose any other lifestyle? They might not agree with my desire to have 8 children, or do temple ordinances for the dead, or miss a Sunday activity in order to honor the Sabbath. I'm not asking them to.

I believe in tolerance. I believe everyone should feel safe in believing what they believe, worshiping how they please, and feeling the way they choose to feel. However, to tolerate and to condone are two very different verbs. They are not synonyms. I do not, will not, cannot condone a gay lifestyle. I think it's sinful and perverted. My children will be taught that marriage is between a man and a woman, and that those unions are ordained of God. They will also be taught that everyone is a child of God and must be treated with kindness and respect. I hope they will be friendly toward their gay classmates. I hope they will mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort, no matter what the cause. That is Christlike. That is what God expects of His children. That was the goal of the founding fathers - to forge a country of tolerance and brotherly love.

I'm appalled at the news reports I watch and read about the aftermath of Prop 8. I'm so sorry the gay community has taken my vote and the votes of millions of others as personal attacks on them and the use of their agency. I can understand why they feel that way, but it's simply not true. I wish I had the words to explain that. They're asking me to condone their beliefs, and I cannot do that. They're asking for the privilege of teaching my children principles of gay marriage in public schools, and I cannot allow that. They're asking for the Lord to give them marriages in His churches and temples, and I cannot add my voice to that petition. But, in all fairness, I have my own requests as well. I'm asking them to find a term for their relationships that is separate from mine. I'm asking them to keep their lifestyle away from my children. I'm asking them to stop painting me with a bigot's brush and understand that my tolerance is sincere. It's limited, I suppose, but it's real.

God defined marriage in the beginning, and even if you don't care about Him you must have the courtesy toward those who do to leave that sacred terminology alone. This debate isn't nearly as much about them as is it about Him. The gay community can storm the temples, desecrate the churches, threaten the members and go unpunished by the law. But they will not dissolve the loyalty of Christians to their God. Our hearts, our devotion and our agency belong to Him.

Are there gays who truly believe that God condones their lifestyle? They don't know Him well enough. If they truly knew His voice they would recognize that the whisperings of justification they cling to are not coming from Him. Theirs is the hardest most heartbreaking trial I can imagine ... But the Lord must have great faith in them. And so should I.

Caught in the Rain

Eldon likes to walk to church. It's about a mile. I like it too, except when it looks like rain. But I walked with him out of love, and THIS was the result. :) It was freezing, wet, and slippery on all the fall leaves that covered the ground and camouflaged all the puddles.

Also, someone's stinky dog ran up - off its leash, by the way - and jumped up on me in a flurry of slobbery, muddy affection and left paw prints all over my clothes. Eldon wiped them off all during Sacrament Meeting because he know it bothered me. He's so darling. But for the rest of church I was convinced I smelled dog. Being pregnant has made me into a super-smeller. :) The dog's owner was really nice and apologetic, but I still hated him for at least 4 seconds. Sick!

Footie Pajamas

I have the cutest husband of life.

It's one of our silly little inside jokes that we should get footie pajamas and wear them all winter ... you know those kind of jokes that are hilarious to the two of you but they wouldn't be to anyone else? Yeah. Footie pajamas is one of ours.

So I was browsing Target the other day, looking for pregnant pajamas, and I found this lovely specimen. HUGE footie pajamas. XXL. I had to get them. I couldn't leave them in the store. I knew I'd only be returning them the next time I went to pick up pictures, but I had to see the look on Eldon's face when I handed them to him. It was important to me. :) So I brought them home and Eldon laughed as he tried them on.

"Where did you ever FIND these??" he asked me.
"In the pajama section."
"Wait, I'm wearing WOMAN clothes??"

Wow, did he take those off fast. :) They're Curious George too, no less. Complete with embroidered banana-ness and monkey feet. Classy.

But of course I kissed him first. :)

Becoming a "True Snyder"

I know my husband pretty well by now - you'd hope so after a year of being together - and because his birthday is coming up in two weeks I racked my brain to think of something he'd actually WANT to receive, since he doesn't have too many wants that he wants enough to spend money for them. I appreciate that about him. Anyway, after much thought I decided to get him "The Court Jester" for $6.00 on Amazon. We got free shipping on it too, so it was literally a six-dollar gift. :)

I wasn't feeling very well yesterday and all I wanted to do was cuddle up in my sweats and watch a movie. So Eldon turned off the news we were watching about the prop 8 protesters and we went to the bookshelf to pick a movie.

"Let's watch a Jane Austen, Hon." he said, trying to make me happy. (He's not the biggest fan of the Austen plots. :))
"No, it's okay, Honey, I know you don't really want to." So we kept looking and deciding for several minutes. Too many minutes. We were being a little ridiculous. Finally I broke down and said, "Do you want a birthday present right now?"
His eyes lit up in that darling Eldon way, with the accompanying half-smile. "Why, is it a movie??"
"Okay, well first name the top three movies you'd want for your birthday..." (which is such a girl thing for me to do - putting him right on the spot)
"Court Jester ... " he counted on his finger, after one second of thought.
"Okay!" I cut him off and grabbed it from where I was hiding it in the church movie section. :) He laughed and hugged me, so cute and excited I could hardly reprimand myself for giving to him early. I'd never seen it, and he couldn't wait for us to share that experience. :)

I actually thoroughly enjoyed it! I had my honest to goodness doubts, because I'm not really an old movie enthusiast, but Eldon says it's part of being a "cultured Snyder" to be familiar enough with it to pick up on the allusions and quoting that happen in everyday conversation with them. So I guess now I'll finally be able to feel part of that side of the family's dynamic. :)

So Eldon and I snuggled up on the bed (since that's the only place in the house I'm comfortable for more than 30 minutes at a time before my back starts breaking off) and watched "The Court Jester." Eldon was just tickled. He sang his favorite songs in my ear, slapped his knee when he was especially entertained, and kept looking at me for approval. And I loved seeing him so pleased, so I was happy too. Happy early birthday, Love!

Major Crisis

I've been thinking about my major ... which is funny since I only have one more class to take before graduation this April and it's a GE. Kinda late to change stuff --plus I'm WAY too old to still be an undergrad on BYU campus. :) But I've been reevaluating, nonetheless, and I come to my dear blog to help me sort through my issues. It's almost a crisis.

I'm an English major. I read books and write papers about them. Long papers. Papers about how the author intended to use a certain character or circumstance to demonstrate a certain viewpoint or submit a certain argument to her readers. Or how this text compares with that one, what we can learn from it and how far we should go in assuming the role of the author. OR how the author is responding to the literary movement of her time and revealing - through narration, character development, etc - how she fits into that movement. Blah blah blah. I know, you probably agree with Eldon and think all that is completely pointless. But her are some reasons I like my major:

• I truly believe reading good literature helps me become a better person. When I read I try to understand where the characters are coming from, and when I get really into it I can almost project myself into their life circumstance and vicariously experience a whole separate reality than my own. I really love that.
• Reading gives me a heart. As a consequence of my previous bullet point I have a greater capacity for compassion than I'd have otherwise. I understand a little better what it's like to walk in different shoes. And sometimes, depending on the reading experience, my sympathy comes close to empathy because my feelings have been so real.
• I love to write, and reading a variety of authors and genres broadens my horizons and helps me find my own voice and identity as a writer. Not a good writer, but a writer nonetheless. That's the second time I've used the word nonetheless in this post. It won't happen again.

Here, however, are the reasons I detest my major:

• Everything is subjective. If you think something, and you can find "evidence" in the text, your point is validated and assumed to be correct. The problem is there are 50 million other people who hold their evidence in their hand that says you're wrong. So...where does that leave us? Guessing. That's where. Always guessing.
  
• Along that same line, there will always be people in class who constantly raise their hands and offer words of wisdom you think are completely ridiculous, and everyone thinks they're ridiculous, but there's no "cure" in the form of a RIGHT answer. They're entitled to guess with the rest of us. Mercy...
• What am I being trained to do, exactly? Write articles about literature? Unless I have a doctorate my opinions hold no value in the realm of academic criticism, so basically I don't matter and neither do my opinions. Oh, and they never will because I'll never have a Ph.D.
  
• Sometimes I feel like I'm in the great and spacious building of relativism where nothing is ever fully right or wrong. For a girl who pretty much sees in black and white it's rough to be subjected to all the grey. Gray? Grey. I'm a pretty big believer in absolute truth.
  

Here's a question: What makes good literature? Or what makes literature good?

Let me tell you a story. I was assigned a text for a certain class. It was full of crude language, graphic murder, vandalism, etc. I got about 40 pages in and just had to set it down. I couldn't read anymore. Then, for the same class I picked up a book with adultry, milder crude language, and child/spouse abuse and had a spiritual experience reading it. I couldn't put it down. It truly uplifted me made me want to be a better person.

Now, what made the difference between those texts? I used to think subject matter was the key element in a book, but I'm starting to think it's actually the tone - the intent of the author. If an author is writing to glorify evil it's readily apparent. But if she's just illuminating it, using a dark color in her painting of the world, it reads differently and the message can be enlightening. Les Miserables, for example, has some pretty hard subject matter, but the tone is such that you come away from it edified and determined to be more Christlike.

Anyway, I'd welcome any and all commentary on the content of literature and what makes reading worthwhile.

Why yes on Proposition 8?

EDIT: 12/9/21 -- I cannot believe I was ever this cruel or illogical or blind to the experiences of other people. I am so sorry I ever put these words out into the world. 

I found a friend's blog who posted two paragraphs of commentary on why we should vote no on Proposition 8. Here are her basic arguments as I read them:

1. One of America's greatest assets is that people are "allowed to be who they are without fear of being prosecuted or punished" and voting yes would take that away.
2. Voting yes would be like punishing gays for what they believe to be "right and fair."
3. This one just needed the full quote: "Please put your beliefs aside for a moment and think about how you would feel if you were gay and told you could never in your life marry the person you love, or if you have a gay child you will never get to see their happiness." (Yes, it really said put your beliefs aside.)
4. Straight couples have sex, get pregnant, and then abandon their babies.
5. Then who adopts those babies? Gay couples who teach their children to be the kind of compassionate, loving classmate who would befriend a "different" child because they know what it's like to have parents who are "different" too.

I don't mean to be antagonistic, though I know I am, but honestly...what are we coming to if we as Americans just let people do whatever they want because we have no concept of right and wrong? It's not right or fair to adopt a corrupted lifestyle and then demand that others bend to accomodate it and then persecute them for being intolerant if they resist it. And since when do straight couples abandon their babies as a mass population? For the love. It just makes my blood boil when liberally-minded people spout such irrational arguments to belittle my beliefs and then I'm (and everyone like me) condemned for being an intolerant bigot. Then who adopts those poor babies? Oh, the gay couples of course, who are clearly the only ones who have endured the kind of hardship that would induce one to teach principles of kindness and equality to "their" children. I'm just so sad about it that it makes me frantically angry. I just don't even know what this world is coming to.

I think people who vote yes on prop 8 simply because they disagree with the homosexual lifestyle are misguided. I don't agree with gluttony or excessive anger either, but I'd never try to pass a law that says people can't behave that way. Voting yes on Prop 8 is not a personal attack on homosexual individuals ... it's more a plea to the whole population that they leave our traditional institution of marriage the way it is and not try to dominate our belief system and supplant it with their own. You cannot come on the scene and demand what they are demanding without exibiting the exact kind of intolerance you accuse your opposition of having.

The reasons I'm voting yes on prop 8 are:

• I don't want my children to be taught homosexuality in their schools - and that is exactly what the school systems will do. Why should I tolerate teachers and administrators forcing teachings I disagree with upon my children? That's not right.
• I think every child born into this world has a right to grow up in a home with a mommy AND a daddy - not two of one or the other .
• I DO think homosexuality is wrong in the sight of God - though I know religion doesn't pull very much weight anymore - and that condoning this kind of abomination will have devastating consequences that we cannot even imagine or foresee.
• I truly believe that when you're doing something wrong you're not going to be happy...so why would I enable them to continue a flawed lifestyle that will only hurt them in the long run?
• If Prop 8 passes the government would demand that those couple be given TEMPLE marriages as well, which is so beyond the reach of constitutional government that I don't even know what to say about it except that it makes me sick. How dare they?

I have several homosexual friends who I love and my heart goes out to them because it's not an easy lifestyle. For those who do love one person and want to commit to them for all their lives it would be devastating to be unable to marry them. But I think it is ridiculously wrong and irrational to claim that gay homes would have some kind of corner on the market of compassionate homes. You don't have to be gay to teach your children that everyone is created equally, and that differences in belief or appearance don't change that equality. I was taught that by my parents. Shame on "straight" parents who don't teach that principle to their children.

Marriage isn't perfect, and people aren't perfect, but I'm certainly not going to smile and cheerfully vote "no" with the population who wants to come in, redefine and corrupt the greatest blessing in my life and allow it to be taught to my children in public schools as an acceptable and celebrated union. Pick a different word for your relationship, keep it away from my children, and don't try to push your agenda on those of us who cannot agree with what you're doing and choosing.

This is my country too, and in the name of tolerance we are making it into a place where there is no line between right and wrong and no safe place for children whose parents still want the freedom to teach their own beliefs without having to worry that what they're learning in school is contradicting it. Soon I suppose there will be a proposition to legalize harmful drugs because people say they have beautiful bonding moments with their loved ones when under its influence. Where do we draw the line? Right is right, and wrong is wrong, no matter how we vote or what happens next week.

Not everyone believes that Thomas S. Monson is the Lord's prophet on the earth, but those who claim such testimony must know exactly where the Lord stands on this issue. His vote is the only one that matters. We cannot - and will not - change His laws. But we can - and we must - live our lives worthy of the task of thriving in a corrupted society that calls evil good and good evil. When I think of the baby inside me being equal to that calling I'm awed and astounded by the strength of the spirits who are coming to earth in these troubled times. She, and all her siblings, will be taught to love and obey God, and that will simply have to be enough.

To have a husband who...

• rubs my back for 30 minutes every night before I fall asleep because it aches so badly from Chiara's growth spurt...
• comes home and immediately unloads the dishwasher, loads whatever dishes I've used cooking, and cleans the counters and stove...
• holds me when I cry - especially when it's irrational...
• reminds me about couple scripture study or prayer if I forget...
• opens every door for me...
• thanks me sincerely every night for the dinner I cook him...
  
• tells me he loves me about 10 times a day...
• has nice ways of telling me when I'm wrong...
• does his home teaching diligently and loves it...
• works so hard to get great grades and make a future for us and our little one...
• can't wait to be a daddy...
• does the dishes after dinner every night...
• never gets angry and always speaks gently...
• tells me how beautiful he thinks I am...
• sings to me...
• kisses my hand when we're driving in the car...
• tells me how lucky he thinks our baby is to be mine...

...makes me the happiest little pregnant woman there ever was. :) I can't wait for him to get home every night because I miss him so much during the day. He's my favorite blessing.

The Patience of Ordinary Things

The Patience of Ordinary Things

by Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they're supposed to be.
I've been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?

New talents...

So, I'm so proud of myself because I downloaded some digital scrapbooking elements, figured out some html code at work, and made this background for our blog. Granted, it's not the cutest thing in the world, but I'm still figuring out how to make the prettier downloads open with the programs I'm using. Of course the uglies work perfectly. :)

I've decided that I'm going to jump on the digital thing and try that kind of scrapbooking. I often hate having to conform to newer technology - I remember CDs and DVDs being a pain to switch to - but this might be a good thing. Certainly less messy! I don't have Photoshop, and I'm told that works best, but until I acquire that program I'll do my best with the lesser ones.

Eldon and I decided that I'm not going to go crazy scrapbooking our kids' lives. They are going to receive a baby book, that we'll look in often while they're growing up, a "childhood" book that they will receive when they enter Young Men or Young Women (12th birthdays), and an "adolescent" one they will receive on their graduation day. Of course there will be many family albums, framed pictures, and CDs (or whatever newer thing I'm going to have to learn someday) of pictures too plentiful to print, but those are going to be the only scrapbooks. I think that's a good plan. I know it's going to be a challenge to actually DO those scrapbooks, so it's good to aim low and actually achieve the goal rather than aim high (yearly scrapbooks, for example) and pull my mommy hair out because it's too much to do. And Elder at our mission reunion - well, not an Elder anymore, I guess - told me I should use my time NOW to make the scrapbooks for our third, fourth, fifth etc. children because otherwise they'll be neglected. :) That has a lot of sense ... I should probably do that. And their baby blankets too.

Also, we've decided to name our daughter Chiara, pronounced Kee-Ara, and to keep the Italian spelling rather than Americanize a beautiful Italian name with a K or something. She may grow up to resent that, but if she loves Italian culture as much as we plan on our children loving it, she won't mind correcting people's pronunciation for the sake of the spelling. :)

P.S. I edited the picture on our header so you can't see where I knicked myself shaving off my widow's peak. :) The growing out process is going well also ... the hairs are about an inch long and HIGHLY attractive when they fan out across my large and spacious forehead. Maybe I should adopt a real bangs look for the next year or so until the widow's peak is back.

You keep on using that word ... I do not think it means what you think it means.

Let me tell you a story, dear reader. On Saturday night Eldon and I went to go see WALL-E with some friends and on our way home he told me that the weather strip on the front of our car was really bugging him. It's hanging loose on one side. Anyway, this is how the conversation went (and I apologize if it's not funny without more background information):

"I think I'm just going to tear off that thing on the front of the car,"
"What thing?"
"You know, that little weather vane thing."
"Weather vane thing??" (laughing)
"Well, whatever it is. I'm just going to take it off." (grinning)
"Remember you called my arm a weather vane because I like to keep it outside of the covers?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Not everything is a weather vane you know, Honey."
"Well, it is the most pointless invention in all of history."
(How am I supposed to respond to that?)
pause
"You're right." And that's when I lost it and laughed until my sides ached. :)

5 minutes later, out of nowhere:
"Weather strip!" he says, in a tone that hints at great memory exertion during the past 5 minutes.
And again, I almost die laughing.

Why Fall is different this year ...

1. I don't have very curly hair anymore. It's calmed in direct proportion with my character. :)
   
2. I definitely don't fit into my favorite turtleneck sweaters.
3. I get too hot wearing anything heavier than a long-sleeved tee, anyway.
4. I weigh as much as, well, a pregnant woman.
5. I look forward to coming home and cleaning. I really do. I love vacuumed carpet and lemon-smelling bathrooms and kitchens.
   
6. I relish the prospect of snow. Or at least freezing weather. I take back the snow part. No snow, please.
   
7. I look forward to coming home and cooking. If you had a husband who enjoyed wife-cooked food like mine does you'd love cooking too. :)
   
8. I have a husband to take out the trash.
   9. I can't stand the smell of broccoli.
9. I can't make that extra 9 go away.
10. I hate school. Notebooks and highlighters hold little appeal. Weird.
11. I drink hot chocolate rather than eat ice cream. My husband doesn't do cold food during cold weather. :)
    
12. I rejoice when brushing my teeth doesn't make me gag.
13. I'm okay with the fact that I don't have a calling yet. My plate is pretty full.
    
14. I wake up in the night with back pains caused my by huge tummy.
    
15. I don't always wear makeup. (What have I become?)
16. I'm never quite sure where my kitchen supplies are because I'm not the one who puts them away. They turn up in the oddest places. :)
17. I go to bed early. I wake up early too, but I stay in bed and think for a while before getting up. It's my me time.
    
18. I rarely read for fun. But when I do I REALLY appreciate it.
    
19. I really like sweat pants, and I wear them shamelessly. Well, almost shamelessly.
    
20. I'm probably happier too, than I've ever been in my life.

Sick Husband!

I've been sick for almost two weeks with a terrible cold/flu thing ... But I'd thought Eldon had avoided getting it, until I got home from Reno to find his voice an octave lower than usual and his eyes red from lack of sleep. Poor thing. I just hate to see him like that! I hover around him like a little bee, busily cooking chicken noodle soup, rubbing his back, or just staring at him. :) I can't stand it! All my love and devotion come to the surface and I struggle to focus on anything but him and his obvious discomfort. It's kind of fun, in a way, to feel myself love him so much. My goodness, it's overwhelming! I knew I loved him, of course, but seeing him vulnerable like this and wanting so desperately to help makes me realize that I practically worship the ground he walks on. It's nigh unto idolatry. I'm serious. :) It hurts his throat so badly to talk that he doesn't say too much, and the one-syllable comments/answers he offers me are insufficient for my chatty needs. I just try to ask yes/no questions and let him rest. Though selfishly I'm quite ready to have my normal, playful husband back! :)

Weekend with my family!!

Here's a picture of big-bellied me and Shauna. Hmmm...

This past weekend I flew to Reno to go to a convention with my family. Actually, Eldon was supposed to come too, but he couldn't at the last minute...poor thing. Gosh, I missed him! But it was a fun weekend, and we laughed and played every day.

The speakers were fantastic, and much to my happy surprise John Bytheway was there, and I hadn't seen him since I was in high school. He was one of my favorite speakers. I had all his tapes and I'd listen to them over and over while I sunbathed on the trampoline in the backyard. :) Quite the oxymoron, but what can I say? I've gotten over that element of my vanity.

Anyway, it was great, and I came home quite determined to be a better person. How grateful I am for the sharp little chastenings we can sometimes feel when we're taught. Not too harsh, but just enough to make some change. :)

My favorite part of the weekend, of course, was seeing my little sister, who is still the apple of my eye. Only my own little girl could possibly be more dear to me. What a darling, fun-spirited young woman she is. How I love her!! In fact, I think I shall post some funny Shauna moments on here ... Sorry, Love, if this embarrasses you! :)

We're having a little girl!!

Eldon and I cannot even express our gratitude for the news we received yesterday from our very knowledgeable and attentive midwife: there's a very perfect, very female baby in my belly!! After all my confessions of not always doing everything I should - I sometimes sleep partially on my stomach, I don't always remember my prenatal vitamins, I enjoy an occasional bowl of Ramen noodles, I haven't been able to completely forgo sugar and all its delicious possibilities... But she just said, "Look at your perfect, healthy baby, Shelli. You've been a great mommy!" I love her. She has my unfailing devotion. :)

So, we're happily anticipating all the darling little estrogen-enhancing delicacies that will adorn our little apartment. I've already decided that she will love, and thrive within the influence of, the colors brown, cream, minty green, and occasional pink. I made her a quilt, have I mentioned that before? It's a good thing she's not a boy because I definitely put lace on it. I couldn't help it!! And not to toot my own little inflated horn here, but I did an uncannily excellent job of it too for having never done it before in the course of my life.

(Wow, can you tell I've been reading Austen all day for my class? My goodness, she dominates my diction for hours afterward...)

I took a picture to please my mother, but I imagine you'll all enjoy seeing it. There are blemishes everywhere, but on the whole it's darling and our child will never know the difference. I've also almost finished the blanket I embarked on for Brittany's baby shower this weekend (that I can't actually attend) and it's so cute I'm very decidedly tempted to keep it for myself. So, if you get an alternative gift from me, my friend, know that it is due almost entirely to my selfish vanity and my present delight in planning my baby's aesthetic surroundings. It is blue, though ... that poses a wrinkle in my otherwise flawless imaginings. Okay, you can have your blanket. :)

I'm ridiculous, and must put an end to these impertinent ramblings. I just wanted you all to know our news, and hope things are as happy for you as they are for us. How we love you!!

Also, pictures of our house which are LONG overdue:


The kitchen, where I feel at one with the domesticity within. Look at the counter space!!



The living room leaves much to be desired, but what can you do? I don't know how to make it look less bachelor-ish. Oh well!




The bathroom is tiny, but it's wonderfully clean and white. No turquoise tiles, no gilted sink, no rusty mirrors ... no resemblace at all to the atrocities of our previous habitation. Pardon all the toilet paper in the wastebasket ... I have a terrible cold. :)



This picture turned out very ill because the sunlight, repeat SUNLIGHT, was so bright that the flash didn't go off and the camera compensated for the luster thereof. This is where I do a lot of my studying because I LOVE the morning light that comes in this window. It's so cheerful!

One of my favorite aspects is the space for my sewing table. Eldon once asked me where something was and I told him it was on the sewing table. "Where is that?" he asked, totally confused. I couldn't help smirking when I replied, "It's the one under my sewing machine."

Temple in ROME!!!!

Oh, my goodness, when Eldon and I heard the Rome Temple announced we just held each other and cried. How grateful we are when we think of all the beautiful Italian families and individuals who are rejoicing and will rejoice because this great blessing that has come to them.

When I entered the mission the first day they took us to the olive orchard the Rome Stake considered "Future Temple Grounds" and they let us wander the land and silently make promises to the Lord about our service in the upcoming years. I loved those minutes, and remember with clarity my feelings of hope and the fleeting understanding I glimpsed of the magnitude of the impact the choices of individual souls have on their fellow men. I took pictures that afternoon, and when I download them I'll be sure to include them here.

The Baby's Doing Fine!

I had two doctor appointments this morning. The first, at 7:30am, was with the eye doctor (after two attempts to spell his real title I give up ... Op-something) and it was fine except that they dilated my pupils and I could hardly see for hours. I was driving on the freeway with my highly attractive here-put-these-behind-your-glasses-to-help-with-the-sunlight monstrosities. My word, they were ugly. And I was ugly in them. Plus I was wearing sweats (a recent purchase because I haven't even OWNED a pair of sweats since junior high ... but I think all pregnant women need them and mine were pennies at Walmart :)) and I hadn't really done my hair because Eldon was still sleeping when I was getting ready and the last thing he needed after I tossed and turned all night was the sound of his wife's blow dryer roaring in the distance.

(Note: Actually, our apartment is so small NO part of it is in the "distance". I can, and I rather appreciate, vacuum the entire thing using a single electrical outlet. :) No unplugging and replugging. I like that...for now.)

Let's actually do a little image painting for you, Reader.

• I'm sitting at work and since the phones aren't ringing I have a few minutes of peace. I usually blog at work since we don't have internet at the apartment yet.
  
• I have a phone headset on over my lovely 3-second "updo" (which I'm owning AND working, thank you).
• I have on a plain white shirt, which is not the most flattering for an ever-expanding belly.
• I have on black sweats that I cut off with fabric scissors this morning because they covered my feet - what with their being designed for women of "average" height and all.
• I have chipped finger AND toenail polish.
• I have on very dirty BROWN sandals. Yes, thank you, they don't match my black and white ensemble above my ankles. I know you were thinking it.
• I'm tired, and it looks like it. I probably got 4 hours of sleep last night and I was in bed TRYING for over 8.
• I mentioned my glasses already, but let me mention them again. I HATE them. Eldon says they make me look like a librarian. He means it as a compliment. No one but him, being the voracious reader he is, finds the librarian look attractive. It must be the connotations and memories it evokes. His most recent mid-semester read: Atlas Shrugged. Honestly.
• I have a tuft of a widow' peak growing in (have I mentioned that I'm growing out the whole thing again? It's rather lovely, in a tilt-your-head kind of way. No it isn't. I made that up.

Are you seeing me? Okay, good. Moving on.

My second doctor's appointment was with the baby doctor (another title-spelling dodge) whom I proceeded to fire immediately following the appointment. I felt bad about it, which surprised me. He is a nice man. It's his secretaries/nurses I didn't care for. Oh well. We listened to the baby's heart beat for seriously 3 seconds, just long enough to tell it was there, and I was pulling my shirt down and thanking him for his time. For the love. My new doctor, actually a midwife at Timp Hospital (who is still a doctor and will give me an epidural in the hospital ... don't worry ... no home deliveries in bathtub water for me, thank you) told me our checkups would be about half an hour long so to plan for that. She wants to make sure all my questions are answered during every stage and that she gives me information I wouldn't have thought to ask about. Basically I imagine her sitting on her chair, sipping hot chocolate with me and chatting for an hour every month about everything I'm feeling, what my baby is doing, what she thinks the baby will look like, etc. :) Not really, but I am ecstatic about this. Yay!!! She came HIGHLY recommended and I can't wait to see her. Next Tuesday!!! Wo-bam!

Anyway, the baby is doing great, according to the thorough 3-second checkup the doctor found it in his heart to bestow upon my child. The measurements are great, the heartbeat is great - really strong - and I should feel kicking in the next couple weeks. That I can wait on, to be honest. I know I'll cry and it will be so sweet, but I have trouble sleeping as it is ... I can only imagine how being kicked awake will be. :) I'm all talk, my word. I'll be calling for the world's attention when I feel our baby kick! I'm ridiculous ... I talk rationally, but I act emotionally. :) Just as my husband.

Also, I've lost weight since my last visit a month ago, which I was thrilled about. And everyone who knows me well and has seen me in the last few months has probably been silently wondering about my poundage. Thank you for not mentioning it. :) It's hard enough to feel like I'm getting chubby without commentary. The doctor asked me about the weigh loss and I told him I've been feeling well enough to exercising more and that made him stop worrying. It's those BIKE ride, I'm telling you. My body doesn't recover for HOURS after those. :) I bet that 7-minute ride of doom burns hundreds of calories. :) Plus, Eldon and I have been walking more than usual too, so I'm sure that helps. We walk to church on Sundays, and it's probably almost a mile each way. When we're speed-walking it takes 12 minutes to get to church, but on the way back we usually stroll and it takes like 20. :) Anyway, I'm feeling good, looking better (don't laugh...today is an exception! I don't usually look like a hobo.), and ANXIOUSLY waiting to find out if I'm carrying a son or a daughter.

I've been telling Eldon that I want a boy, mostly because I want to name him after my uncle while we actually live by him, but in my heart I yearn for a baby girl. I bought my first baby item on Saturday night after going to the broadcast with Mary. It's a little onsie and it was on clearance for $1.50. How could I resist?? It has lacey capped sleeves (that I'm sure we'll put on over something long-sleeved) and patchworkiness on the front with a flower and the word "Sweet". Usually I'm not a fan of words on baby clothes - I like them simple and non-flippant. But this was too darling to leave in the store. I almost cried when I picked it up, in my irrational state, because it was so tiny...I couldn't wait to hold my baby. I tell Eldon all the time, "I just want to HOLD it! I'll put it back, I just want to hold it for five minutes!!" And no matter how many times he laughs and tells me it doesn't work that way, or how much I already know that, the yearning is there. And I'm grateful for it. I've been waiting to be a mommy for a long time. Not as long as some women have to wait, so don't think I'm complaining. I'm very grateful we were able to get pregnant after only 4 months of trying. But 25 years is still a lot of minutes of wishing and hoping, no matter how many more years anyone else has waited.

If it comes out cranky and temperamental I'm blaming Eldon ... I was a perfect baby. :) Eldon was the one who waged war with his siblings, so I just tell him to keep those genes to himself!

Maybe Very Happy by Jack Gilbert

After she died he was seized
by a great curiosity about what
it was like for her. Not that he
doubted how much she loved him.
But he knew there must have been
some things she had not liked.
So he went to her closest friend
and asked what she complained of.
"It's all right," he had to keep
saying, "I really won't mind."
Until the friend finally gave in.
"She said sometimes you made a noise
drinking your tea if it was very hot."

Library Morning

After another exhausting and sweat-inducing bike ride to campus, Eldon and I are sitting in the library reading and studying. I'm looking at him right now. He's so darling. This is the THIRD time I have ridden my bike to campus and I am exceedingly proud. Can you believe I did it again after that first time? Eldon rides behind me (in case I fall off and die, I suppose) and calls out encouragement the whole time, which actually makes me laugh and puts me at greater risk of falling off to my death...or at least deformity. "You're doing great, Hon!" He calls out. "You're so cute when you're on your bike!" "I'm so proud of you!"

I just made my own self laugh out loud in the library because the bike ride is seriously - we timed it - 7 minutes in duration and 10 blocks in distance. It shouldn't be hard for me. But it is. :)

I looked over at Eldon to see if he noticed my silly little outburst of giggling and he is still sitting there, two fingers against his jaw, staring at the computer screen preparing for his physiology test this afternoon. He's such a diligent student. I really love him for that. Sometimes I think I show my love for him by cleaning his house and cooking his meals and he shows his love for me by putting in the study time it takes to get such good grades. My grades have nothing to do with how I feel about him. :) I'd rather bake cookies than read yet another commentary on the romantic period.

Eldon just said to me, "Oh, right, a centimeter..." I turned and there he was, reading our blog. "More like half a glass!!" I guess he doesn't agree with my representation of my milk consumption. He should probably participate in this blogging activity more often. :)

Now we're laughing ... Apparently he's not a big fan of having a picture of penguins on our blog either. :) Maybe I should put a light-saber on there and see if he ever reads the blog again and notices! Stay tuned...

Random Moments

Eldon and I are doing great. We've had a few random little moments I thought I'd document here. Some we still laugh about.

• I made whole wheat cookies the other day because it was the only kind of flour I could find. (Turns out Eldon had put the extra bag of white flour on the top shelf where his wife cannot see anything and I didn't think to look up there. :)) They weren't the best, the consistency left much to be desired, but the flavor was still pretty good. And dipped in milk they were yummy. So, I packed a couple in Eldon's lunch the other day before I left for work. When he went into the kitchen and found his lunch he laughed out loud, thinking that I was JOKING, and threw all the cookies away. All of them. The whole batch. :) Oh, how I laughed! I guess I didn't have to ask what he thought about them. :)
• I just got off the phone with a client who sounded exactly like a grown-up Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Oh my goodness, it was delightful! Poor man. I can't possibly be the only person in the world to have made that observation.
• Eldon and I walked out of the house the other day and Eldon grabbed our garbage bag and then our neighbor's garbage bag on our way to the car. "Oh, Honey," I cooed. "That was so nice of you." Eldon gave me a funny look before he realized what I was praising him for. He told me, "Oh, I've been taking their trash out since we moved here." He hadn't even thought twice about it -- it was just a habit! I'd had no idea.
• We got a flat tire last night and Bryce (my brother) came to help us change the tire (we didn't have a jack). As Eldon was lowering the jack after the spare was in place I pointed to something on the tire with my toe. "WATCH YOUR FEET!!!!" Eldon cried out. Whoa, I was still like a yard away from the car! So Bryce and I would randomly yell out "Watch your feet!!" for the duration of the night. It was hysterical. Eldon would just laugh, gallantly accepting the fact that he'd totally over-reacted to my nearness to the oh-so-dangerous car lowering moment. :) He's so darling. And Bryce is so wonderful for coming to help us. GOSH I love that we live so close to him and Haley! It's just so fun!! If Kev and Shauna are both here in the fall I just don't know how we'll ever get anything productive done. :) It's going to be so fun!
• I love milk. So much. I seriously drink a gallon a week, and it's only that little because I'm trying to be conservative with the milk budget. Eldon teases me because I'll often leave like a centimeter left in my cup and leave it on the counter. It drives him nuts. He actually brought the cup to me while I read on the couch the other night and made me drink it. :) I'd left it there like 10 minutes before. He's so funny.
• I made ROCKIN' clam chowder from scratch the other night. Oh, Eldon was so grateful he married me. :) It's my mom's recipe and it's really easy, so it's not like I'm a culinary artist. But it was very good and Eldon was very happy. Yay for easy recipes!!
• We were making enchiladas another night and I was trying to fix the tin foil on the top and I bumped my arm on the ELEMENT of the oven. Ouch! It still looks terrible 5 days later, but I hope it won't scar too badly. It's pretty ugly.

Well, I think that's all for this installment. Hope you're having a great day!!