So this is some shit I wrote at 2AM this morning. I wrote it in the dark so I'll try to read my handwriting:

"I bother you the least but somehow I always end up bothering you the most.
I take those extra steps to not awake you. None of that fucking matters to you though.
You need someone to yell at all the fucking time and it might as well be me, huh?
I don't know if it's because you're mad about losing me so many years ago or what.
Personally I don't care. You're not worth anything to me and I'd leave you behind in a second.
Fucking trash.
You both seem to be trying to make up for screwing my life over but it's too late. I'm fifteen.
You've already ruined it, sorry. I don't even bother crying anymore because I know this is all you know.
And I can handle it better than you. You don't have much to say when I say 'Fuck you' anymore.

I really figure that the way I'm going will lead me to extreme antisocialism. It's up to me to fall through
with it or not. I could get myself back together if I thought it was worth my time. But it's not.
The only thing I have left to cry about is wanting someone to hold. Right now when these things
happen I have no one to run to just to get my mind off things, all I have is myself, to bottle
everything up and wait until I can't handle it anymore."