oh boy

I don't want my life to be a waste. I think it will. For that I'm scared.
I've one million thoughts within my head. Shaping who I am inside.
None of which actually shape me. They stay inside me and go overlooked.
I wish that you'd be able to make my thoughts flow, and listen to them.
Like I am the greatest guy in the world.
That's not a job for a friend. I could never be that good of a friend to someone.
It's hard to think of someone as extremely special.
A job for someone more special.

I pain myself when I think the truth is, that person is not her.
I've lost the interest in looking for that person though.
I don't think I ever even had that interest.

You say I'm only 15. How can I argue?