Stagnant

That's how life feels these days. Stagnant. It's weird. I've attempted to blog but I keep coming up blank. There are stories to be told but I don't know if I can talk openly about them. It sucks but here goes some super vague info... We were chosen. She is AWESOME. She chose to parent. We still love and support her and hope to continue to as she parents her precious baby. Shortly after we were chosen again. A week later things fell to pieces. The relationship we were building with her came crumbling down as trust was lost and lies were told. We're now back to waiting. I'm tired of waiting. If you tell me 'it'll happen' or something to that effect I may very well bitch slap you. It's getting very old hearing the same old well meaning phrases. :( Today I started looking into other agencies and Parent. Profiles. While they'd both bring more expenses it seems like it's time to pursue more options. Or wait forever. LTL is getting antsy. Or so it seems. He checks out profile view count a lot. Like I used to. It breaks my heart. It's been hard to be on FB. And Twit.ter. Hell it's been hard to read blogs. While I'm so happy for those that have been able to bring home their 'little' it's hard to not be jealous and feel like it's never going to happen for us. I'm not really sure where I fit in the IF blogging world anymore. We're not pursuing IF treatment, we're not parenting, we haven't adopted, no more surgeries, etc etc.