the wait is over...

Miles Dean

7 lbs. 7oz 19.5"

We've been waiting for this little one for a L O N G time
and he is finally here!

the waiting game...

(Magnus waiting, so board out of his mind)

It doesn't matter if you are in the middle of infertility treatments or hoping to adopt....
you still have to wait.
Lots of waiting.
Lots of patience.
and I have heard..
Patience is a virtue in heaven.
With infertility (specifically IVF) you have to wait for certain dates,
you have to wait for the "ok" to start different meds,
you have to wait for the embryos to grow to a certain size,
you have to wait to find out if those embryos nuzzled in,
you wait for that phone call...
you have to wait, wait, wait.

With adoption you have to wait for education classes,
you have to wait for interviews,
you have to wait for all kinds of appointments,
you have to wait for more paychecks to pay for all those appointments,
you have to wait for your case worker to get you "approved"
and once you're approved...
you wait.
You wait for emails from potential birth mothers,
you wait for that phone call,
you wait to be "chosen" and
you wait for a baby.

But, it will be worth the wait.
It will be.

one year ago.

What a year!
One year ago today I receive a phone call that rocked my world.
I didn't know that one phone call would cause so many emotions.
It was one year ago that we were told to stop trying to have a baby.
I was not prepared to hear those words in the least.

What time has done!
How far I have come.
Time is such a good thing.

In one full year I have let things go, and have enjoyed my life.

I have learned to hear myself say out loud "I can't have children."
I have learned that the grass may not be as green on the other side.
I have learned its okay to be 30 and not be a mom yet.
I have learned to completely let go of all my tears, frustration, and sadness.
I have finally allowed my Savior to take away my sorrows so that I can be happy.

I have thoroughly enjoyed not having to poke myself with shots.
I have loved not having to plan around the doctors schedule.
I have loved sleeping in.
I have loved traveling to Ireland, Australia and Fiji.
I have loved training my dog Magnus!
I have loved going to the gym.
I have loved shopping and eating out.
I have loved working on our house and yard.
I have loved my life of "just be".

I am in a good place and I am so happy that I took a year to "heal".
I am so excited for our journey ahead.
I am so happy for the gift of adoption.
I am so excited that I get to be a mom, it may have not been "my plan"
but I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me.
We just have to wait for a sweet birth mother who is carrying our baby.
So in the mean time I will enjoy my life.

...and we're live!

Today our adoption profile went up!
I got an email from our caseworker that said
"you'll be live by 6pm."
I called my sister immediately to tell her today was the day.
She called me back 10 minutes later
to tell me "IT'S UP!"
My parents brought over a "party pie"
to celebrate that our profile is officially up and running.
We're live people, we're live!

Almost there...

We are procrastinators.
But that's when we do our best work.
With that negative turned in to a positive we have finally turned in our adoption paperwork....
at MIDNIGHT!
What a relief.
Our case worker is currently working on our file.
We will have our profile up before the weekend.
Aughhhhh.
I'm getting butterflies.
The good kind.

Home Study

Well this is very behind.
But yes, we did indeed have our home study.
Our case worker walked around and we proved that we have a fit home.
What makes a fit home?
Well....
an evacuation plan, window locks, cupboard locks, fire extinguishers, first aid kits,
the gas and electrical phone number etc...
You name the number we have it posted!
She took notes about our backyard and garage.
She asked which room would eventually be the nursery...and took more notes.
We went over our birth parent letter that still isn't done,
and looked at some pictures we should submit.
She was here for a couple of hours moving that pen across her clipboard.
She said that everything "looks good."
She also said "okay lets try to have you guys up and going by June 20th"
That means we will have our profile up on the internet for any birth mother to see.
Holy Cow that is coming right up.

Personal interviews

We had our personal interviews with our caseworker.
Basically you sit on that magical couch and talk.
I love talking so it wasn't a big deal.
She asks questions, and because that couch is powerful you give VERY DETAILED answers.
She asked questions from my upbringing to my marriage to my college life to traveling.
We covered all basis.
Romneys interview was pretty similar with some of the same questions and some different.
We both came home to share our individual experiences.

These interviews last about 1.5 - 2 hours.
They were actually kind of fun.
We are getting very close to finishing up this process.
Yesterday we did our LIVE SCANS,
and bought a gun safe that is required if there are firearms in the home.

Things we still need to do:
Buy 3 fire extinguishers (one for each car and one for the house)
cupboard latches
socket plugs
Buy one more first aid kit (one for each car and one for the house)
make copies of our car insurance
Employment verification
Complete a few reading assignments
and the HOME STUDY

I'll explain the home study later.
Our home study is scheduled for May 24th.
It's coming right up.