Back from Fantasy-Land

After 7 years here in the US, I finally was able to realize a childhood dream - I was able to go to Disneyland!!!! What's more, I spent Christmas eve there! It truly is the happiest place on earth - no doubt about that!

It took us 8 hours to get to Lancaster - where my roommate's niece lives. We stayed with them overnight and were off to California Adventure and Disneyland on the 24th. California Adventure is the adult theme park counterpart of Disneyland. We watched Alladin - a musical play - and took delight in the antics of the Genie - what a funny guy! We also watched the Making of Animations - which I know my brother would truly enjoy. His dream is to become a Disney cartoonist.

We also saw One Man's Dream - sort of like Walt Disney's life story. If there's one thing I learned about his life is that he puts his heart and soul in his dream - something he truly believed in. He was willing to risk everything just to be able to make it come true. In the end, he left behind a legacy that everyone from all walks of life would truly enjoy.

Then we were off to Disneyland. There, we saw Disney characters' parade, then Fantasmic - a water and lights show, followed by fireworks display. Finally, there was a shower of snowflakes with the sound of "White Christmas" in the background. What a great experience!

Oh by the way, I cried when I was watching Fantasmic because I remembered how my brother and I share the same dream of being able to go to Disneyland. God finally granted my wish on Christmas Eve nonetheless. It is my hope that I can bring my brother to Disneyland so he'll also enjoy the sights and fulfill his dream.

Thank you Walt, for making children happy. Most of all, thank you for making the child in me experience a christmas I didn't feel like celebrating prior to this trip.

P.S.
By the way, I promised photos didn't I? Well, here they are.... Thank you for looking.

Merry Christmas to you and yours

While Christmas this year isn't as exciting as the previous ones, I am still looking forward to take a few days off. I'm already stretched thin as it is, with work piling faster than I can sigh.

It's half day off for us today and this afternoon, we're going to LA!!!!! I'm going to visit Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Disney princesses.... :) What's more, our tickets are free! Our company gave out about 400 tickets to Disneyland and California Adventure so I'm going to both, yahoo!!!!

After more than 7 years here in the US, I'm ashamed to say that this will be my first time to go to Disneyland. I was able to go to Universal Studios some 5 years ago, but never to Disneyland. I just never had the chance to do it. I even told hubz that I'll just wait for him to come and then we'd go there together, but with a free ticket, who could resist right? harharhar!

So, my bags are packed, I'm geared up to go. We're driving down to LA in a few more hours, and call me weird but I quite enjoy driving. Ask me to drive 12 hours straight and I won't complain.... :)

'Til my next post! I promise to take lots of photos.

Merry Christmas everyone! Amidst all the chaos and feast, please don't forget the reason of the season - Christ!

Cyberhugs to you all!

How times have changed....

I was already working when I got allowed to stay out 'til late. I remembered my dad used to call my friends when I'm not home by 6 or 7. My mom would even pick me up from school when I was in college just to make sure I'd go straight home. Being able to go to school is already a priviledge not every kid is blessed with, so I took that opportunity to do well in school. Perhaps I led a sheltered life but I was never permitted to go to parties unless my mom was with me. I never complained.

Now curfews at 10pm isn't even enough. Some of my cousins debated that parties don't even start 'til midnight, so how is it possible to come home at 10? I was totally shocked! I am concerned about the kind of parties that do start at 12!

I remembered my mom would tell me "ano'ng klaseng babae ang nasa kalye pa ng ganitong oras?" I once defied her and stayed out 'til about 8pm. Oh don't get me wrong, I sometimes sleep over a classmate's house just because we were busy working on our school projects. I was allowed to do that because I didn't have a computer up until the semester I was due to graduate, and only because I needed to do my thesis. But parties? Forget it and don't even dare ask!

And their cellphones! Explain how can a 7 year old kid be able to afford a cellphone? But they do have one, and mind you, they're not cheap-o! A friend complained that her nieces in Manila emailed her asking for a new cellphone because theirs was last year's model. "Ridiculous!" she said "because these girls' family couldn't even afford to put food on their table!". I advised her to tell her nieces to eat their cellphones first and if they're able to do that, then she'll give her a new one! Am I being too harsh?

My husband's cellphone had elicited quite a number of loud laughs before he took the plunge to change it. He had his cell since 1998 (the year after I left for the US) and it was a brand I've never heard of, as big as a landline phone and even heavier! I had to beg him to replace it! He finally did right after our wedding. That's how practical he is about stuff he believes are serving their purpose.

Here's more - whenever I come home, I get asked to bring "branded" clothes - be it CK, DKNY, Prada, Polo, etc, and imported perfumes or colognes. Last year, I had quite a few friends who told me I don't look like I came from America because I wasn't trendy. At least I'm not inviting unwanted attention! I'm one person who has never been held up, and I'm proud of it.

I can only shiver at the thought of what else could change. What would I do if my kids would tell me they want to get a tattoo or have their body pierced? What would I say if they tell me not to wait up because they're not coming home?

I have asked the same questions to hubz and we both do not have answers.

Sigh! Am I getting too old to notice these things?

And they called me "Scrooge"

Just because I am not up for Christmas this year, doesn't mean I don't want it to come. I guess I'm too homesick to even think about decorating the house for the holidays. My roommate has also been bugging me to host a party for either christmas or new year, and I finally agreed after too much prodding!

On Saturday, I queued up several times (on different stores) just because L sent me on an errand to find christmas lights, extension wires, and what-have-yous. Because she started putting on the lights outside the house, and our neighbors didn't see me helping (I was on different stores remember?), they were calling me "Scrooge" when they finally saw me.

I'm still wrapping christmas gifts!

I still haven't sent all the christmas cards!

We're still debating whether to put up the tree or not. Since christmas is only a couple of weeks away, and we'll be in LA anyway, I didn't want to put it up, only to take it down as soon as we come back - or at least after the new year's party here at home.

I guess I also feel guilty celebrating when, on the other side of the world, people in the Philippines are still mourning the loss of hundreds of lives because of the most recent calamity.

Most of all, how can you celebrate when your heart is somewhere else - with the one person whom you'd like to be with?

Do I hear Pasko na Sinta ko in the background - or am I just humming it in my head?

December Greetings

December is quite a busy month for birthdays (too many mothers gave birth this month), weddings, anniversaries. And so, to those you December babies and December couples, cheers to you!

1st - Happy Birthday LYD and AGA
8th - Happy Birthday GJM
9th - Happy 32nd anniversary mom and dad!
10th - Happy Birthday cousin DMA.
- Congratulations and Best Wishes L and S
12th - Happy Birthday CG
16th - Happy Birthday cousins RJM and BS
25th - Happy Birthday JO
28th - Congratulations and Best Wishes R and S
- Happy Birthday LZA
29th - Happy Birthday AT

Skipping the Holidays?

Our holidays usually start on Thanksgiving when we host parties for friends. The first few years, we always had a big turnout - my turkey, a huge success! As friends started buying their own homes, attendance dwindled down too. Who wouldn't want to spend Thanksgiving in the comforts of their own homes with family? So this year, I decided to skip the festivities. Up to the last minute, my roommate has been bugging me to change my mind, but I insisted that I wanted a quiet Thanksgiving this year.

You see, the preparations start a week earlier when we do our groceries - pick the right-sized turkey, depending on the number of those who confirmed to come. Next is the endless cleaning and scubbing - from the kitchen and bathroom floors, to the carpet, to every imaginable corner, to the bathrooms! Then comes the actual food preparation. Wednesday before Thanksgiving meant that we'd have to sleep very, very late to get everything ready for cooking the next day. Thursday meant waking up so early (as early as 5am) to dress the turkey and bake for 5-6 hours, depending on the size. I usually bake the bird for 20 minutes each pound. The first couple of hours meant covering the turkey with foil so it'll cook evenly. The next hour and every hour thereafter, I have to turn it and baste with butter, until it cooks. While doing this on the side, cooking everything else becomes a challenge, and a rush to the finish line! By the time the guests arrive, we have barely finished cooking. It is then time to take a shower!!!!

The party begins a little after lunch, and would usually last until wee hours in the morning. We have to drag our tired bodies to clean up afterwards.

But wait, we still couldn't rest! Black Friday meant that we have to wake up so early to catch the biggest sale of the year. Stores open as early as 5am, and the sale would only last until 12pm. Most stores revert back to original prices after noon! Worse, if you really want something on sale, and you fail to show up early at the store, chances are, you'd have to forget about it because it'll be gone by the time you get there.

Black Friday is when we'd usually do our christmas shopping. Armed with a list and a tight budget, we'd trek down the mall and hop from store to store 'til we complete our list. You should see us with all those shopping bags! I bet even Santa would be amazed at how much we are able to drag along.

Because I opted for a quiet Thanksgiving this year, I also felt most alone. I woke up yesterday with a big fat headache, dressed up, went to church, came home, finished all the Thank you cards for a friend getting married in December, watched a couple of DVDs, and my day is over!

Today is shopping day as usual. I was quite proud of myself because I stuck with my budget and didn't go over! Then comes the gift-wrapping. I'd probably be wrapping gifts up until Christmas eve!

I envy people with families around. I wish hubz is here, or I'm with my family during the holidays. Been telling hubz that I feel so down lately. Though I easily bounce back, what with the long queue on my to-do list, I still can't help feeling this way. I would've wanted to come home for Christmas but coming back would be a torture!

Earlier this week, the radio I usually listen to, started playing christmas songs. I had to change stations because I feel worse when I listen to them. I wish I could just skip christmas 'til hubz comes. I wish I could postpone the holidays 'til next year. I guess this is the downside of being a long distance wife. You could only wish to hug your husband but you can't. You can only wish to spend time with him, but it's not realistically possible. You can only wish to move time forward until you're together again....

What I'm Thankful For

For Thanksgiving, I usually take the time to look at my life and examine those things that I'm thankful for. I know we shouldn't do it only at Thanksgiving, and God knows I am so grateful for everything. So far, here are the things that I can easily recall:

1. A wonderful, faithful, devoted, kind, supportive, understanding husband
2. Good health for me and my family
3. House no. 3 - a rental property
4. A stable job
5. The capacity to help and support my family in the Philippines
6. The capacity to buy things that I want for myself
7. The capacity to give without asking for anything in return
8. Good friends
9. Promotion to a higher and better paying position
10. A house above my head
11. A home for my family in the Philippines
12. My grandma's successful eye surgery
13. My 5 weeks' stay in the Philippines between April and May with my husband
14. The ability to control my expenses
15. The ability to save
16. The ability to invest
17. A rewarding career
18. The ability to support a decent and comfortable lifestyle
19. The ability to help my grandma renovate her house
20. The finances to support my daily calls with my husband - which I cannot live without
21. For all the days - good or not-so-good
22. For delivering me from sickness, accidents, calamities
23. For delivering my family from sickness, accidents, calamities
24. For a smooth-sailing marriage - even when it's long distance
25. For being able to engage in activities that prevent me from succumbing into a depressive state.
26. For answered prayers
27. For prayers that may seem unanswered but is actually not in God's time or plan
28. For all the blessings
29. For life, love, happiness, peace
30. For resolved problems
31. For a roommate understanding enough to tolerate my outbursts from time to time (PMS-related)
33. For helpful and supportive teammates
34. For a generous boss
35. For all those other things - big or small that I forgot to mention

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May you find the time to pause and look into your hearts and be grateful for everything - big or small, good or not-so-good. After all, being given the chance to live each day is big enough reason to thank God.

Is it weekend yet?

It's one of those days when ya gotta ask that question - for several reasons:

Reason No. 1 - It took me 45 minutes (vs. the usual 20 minute drive) to get to the BART station in El Cerrito because of the thick fog in Hwy 80.

Reason No. 2 - Add to the low visibility the extremely slow schmuck driving in front of me. I can understand if the person is an elderly or a woman, or if the person in front of him is slow also. But when I passed him by, he was on the damn phone!!!!!

Reason No. 3 - Because of Reasons 1 and 2, I missed the train by a nanosecond. Right when I was at the door, it closed on me! I wanted to scream but it just left - with me standing in shock! I also missed it by a couple of minutes yesterday. Again, because of very slow drivers in front of me - right when I'm close to my exit!

Reason No. 4 - I couldn't find my checkbook anywhere! Over the weekend, I ran out of checks so I replaced it with a new stash. I was a bit late leaving the house because I was busy looking for it this morning. Now I have to call the bank so they can cancel those checks. It's a hassle too because I don't have any other record of my check transactions - what has been cleared, etc. I know I should've maintained my Microsoft Money log. But hey, you can't blame the girl for keeping a manual filing because when my PDA crashed, I lost almost everything - then my old laptop crashed too that I had to end up reformatting my hard drive. Oh well, damn if you do, damn if you don't!

Reason No. 5 - I need to scrap. It's my escape from my daily routine, and my form of relaxation. Try it - it's therapeutic.

Reason No. 6 - Hubz told me last night that electricity at my mom's house has been cut off because they didn't pay the bill. It's a long story but to sum it up, we give them their monthly allowance and they still neglect paying their bills. I can understand if this is the first time this happened 'coz maybe, they just forgot, but if it happened numerous times, I think I have the right to be suspicious.

Reason No. 7 - Grandma went back to Pagsanjan last weekend because she had an argument with my mom. She was supposed to wait until next week so the doctor can remove her stitches (she had eye surgery) but because she was so heartbroken, she decided to go home.

Reason No. 8 - I need to finish the thank you cards I'm working on for a friend who's getting married on Dec. 28. She ordered them from me after having looked at the handmade cards I've been making.

Reason No. 9 - L booked their timeshare for Reno starting this weekend. They won't be there until Wed. next week 'coz that's when her PTO starts. She then gave me and my roommate this weekend to get away from it all.... :)

Reason No. 10 - I need to pack my balikbayan box so I can ship it home in time for christmas.

An Exhausting but Exciting Weekend

We had a couple of friends over last weekend. Being the hospitable hosts, we took them around the Bay - from Sausalito, to Marin Headlands for a breathtaking view of the foggy Golden Gate Bridge, to the Palace of Fine Arts, to Crooked Street in Lombard, to Fisherman's Wharf, and lastly, to Ghirardelli Square. We got home a bit late on Saturday but it was really fun. I was just feeling sore because I was given tetanus vaccine the day before (which was really painful). In fact, I had to exert a bit of an effort to drive.

The next day, Sunday, we took them to some wineries in Napa Valley. I have passed through Napa a few times during fall and I know that the colors are beautiful at this time of the year. I just haven't had the chance to stop and take photos. Now, I have tons of photos.... :)

To get an idea of where we've been, and to visualize the beautiful San Francisco Bay Area and the breathtaking Napa Valley (eat your heart out 'coz I live very close to the wineries, tee-hee!) in your minds, I have uploaded some photos. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did taking them.

Have a great weekend people!

A VERY BIG Surprise

When I arrived at my desk at 6:15am today, there was a HUGE wooden crate waiting for me from my husband!!!! It was nailed shut and had the word "fragile" all over. The packing slip said "capiz lantern". No wonder when I was talking to him last night, he kept insisting I come to work today (I was telling him that maybe I'd better telecommute after dropping our guests off at the train station because I had an exhausing weekend).

I knew something was fishy, but I wasn't expecting anything (until Friday maybe because Nov. 12th will be our 10th year anniversary as bf-gf). If I didn't logoff early on Friday, I would've known about it because one of my teammates emailed me about a big package at my desk.

My reaction when I saw the crate? I fell to my chair crying! How could a girl be so lucky to have a wonderful husband? He never fails to amaze me with his many unexpected surprises. I wanted so much to call him but I know that he might be sound asleep by now. The least I can do is leave him alone to get a good night's sleep.

Good night sleepy head.... I wish you know how happy you've made my Monday, and possibly the entire week!

I love you sweetheart!

Hodge Podge of Stuff

There's so much to write about because I haven't blogged in a while (again!). Seems like blogging is becoming a challenge to me now. Thus, let me just take a moment to sit tight and blog about the many things that has been going on in my life (which for most people isn't exciting, hehehe!):

On Carly Patterson's visit - Sometime in October, we got the chance to meet Carly Patterson when she came to work for a visit. She won gold medal in Women's All Around Gymnastics in Athens. This time, I have photos to prove I met her (unlike when Michael Phelps, Lenny Krayzelberg, and Ian Croker came by).

On Scrapbooking - I'm on a roll! I've made three more LOs over the past couple of weeks - You're Invited, Our Love Story, and Viva Las Vegas. I'm slowly starting to scrap our wedding photos - the film based ones. Picking out those that I want to include becomes very challenging. Just imagine, I have to sort and pick out from about 700+ prints! That's enough to drive me to the brink.

On Card Making - Here's another hobby I truly enjoy. It's a theraphy for me (whenever I feel homesick or depressed). In the process, I am also expressing the creativity I never knew I had! I remembered when I was in school, my mom would always do my projects for me because she was afraid that I'd fail if I do it myself. Needless to say I thought I didn't get those creative genes my mom has? :) So, judge for yourselves.

On Guests - One of the reasons why I haven't blogged in a while was because we had guests in and out of the house. First they were my roommate's sister and her family from New Zealand. Next it was my roommate's cousin and her husband from Palm Springs. This weekend it'll be a couple of friends from Texas. In a week or so, another set of friends from Las Vegas. It's never-ending cleaning up and cooking and entertaining. I'm not complaining though. It's always good to have company once in a while.

On Parties - With the holidays just around the corner, so many parties are being organized. In fact, my November weekends are booked to the brim! Last weekend, I went to a birthday and halloween party. Tonight, I'm attending a golden wedding anniversary celebration of a close friend's parents. Next weekend, there are 2 parties I'm supposed to go to (in a single day). The following week, another birthday party. Then there's Thanksgiving.... not to mention Christmas and New Year!!!!

On my cholasterol - I've got to watch out what I eat or my doctor's going to whip my behind because of my cholasterol. Amazing that for someone as petite as I am, I have a borderline cholasterol level (that was last year though!). I guess that was the bad genes I got from my dad. I'm sweating out now because I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I do hope I'd fare well on my cholasterol test.

On the upcoming holidays - The air is chilly again, and fall is coming to an end. With winter looming around, it's becoming more and more depressing. I miss my family, I miss my husband, I miss everyone back home. When I was growing up, Christmas is a big deal in our family. Even when my mom would just repair old clothes to look like new, I came to appreciate Christmas as more than just new clothes, new shoes, new toys. For me, it's being with family that accounts for a wonderful christmas.

In high school, I was a member of the church choir (don't ask me how because I could never figure that out) so the three of us - mom, younger brother, and me - would go to church for the Simbang Gabi (around 3am). Breakfast would consist of puto bumbong or bibingka. At 6:30, I go straight to school (which is located just opposite the church - how convenient right?). On Christmas Eve, we'd have scrap ham - I call it scrap because those are the remnants when they cut ham in the market. There's bread, hot chocolate, fruit salad, and some other modest food on the table. I considered it our most extravagant dish because we never get to taste them on regular days. We don't always get christmas gifts but just being together is a wonderful gift for me.

I wanted to go home for Christmas but I figured that if I'm getting so depressed when I come home in May, the more it'll be depressing coming back after the holidays. Like I said before, coming home is always a torture for me because I go through the crying fit going back.

On grandma's eye surgery - We finally had grandma agree on an eye surgery, or, as her doctor puts it, she'd get glaucoma. When I called her before the surgery, she was crying and asking for an apology because she had to ask for money. Of course I had to help. After all, my grandma was one of those special people who helped me reach my goals. Even hubz was open to helping grandma. In fact, he visited her before the surgery, at the hospital, and when she came out of the hospital. He even dropped her off to Pagsanjan. This weekend, he's going to pick her up from Pagsanjan for her checkup on Monday. Grandma told me she felt that I was home all along - the way my husband doted on her. No wonder I'm so in love with my husband. He's just truly a great guy!

On mom's birthday - Hubz took a day off on mom's birthday so he could take them out to lunch. She turned 55 this year!

On my 7th year anniversary here in the US - November 13 is my 7th year here in the US. Time flew by!

Another anniversary to watch out for - I'll keep this a suspense for now.

Well, that's it pansit! If you're still reading 'til the end - congratulations! I admire your patience.... hahaha!

Have a great weekend everyone!

A Powerful Book on Filipino Struggle

I have just finished reading "When the Elephants Dance" by Tess Uriza Holthe. It's a gripping tale about our ancestors' struggles during World War II.

In Alejandro Karangalan's own words (one of the main characters) "It is up to Roderick and me to build and to teach the other children that it is better to stand together than to let other nations divide us. We fought beside our Amerikano brothers to take back our independence. It was not just given to us. I will remember how we Filipinos stood together and put our differences aside. I shall remember how strong we were. It is up to us now to keep our pride intact."

Growing up, I have always asked my grandparents what it was like during the war. They would try to evade the topic. I remembered having been reprimanded whenever I don't finish the food on my plate. My grandma would tell me "finish your plate because you are lucky to have something to eat. During the war, we were lucky to be able to have water to drink, if at all". The book has made me realize how true those words were. Hunger and dehydration was prevalent then.

The story is quite tragic, but it reminds us of the precious lives our ancestors gave up just so we can enjoy the freedom we have today. I take pride of my roots. The book stirred in me the patriotism that has long been put to sleep.

On the other hand, there were some light moments - stories and folklores. Our culture is, indeed, rich of superstitions and folklores and illogical beliefs.

This is a must-read - truly highly recommended.

It had been a long time since I last blogged, and for some good reasons.

The first week of October was our semi-annual install and I had been busier than a bee. It was a very challenging release, not only because it's the most complex one we've had, but a high profile one at that! Even after the release, we've spent lots of hours resolving problems that were popping up.

On the night of Oct. 7, I flew to Las Vegas for a weekend trip. I met my roommate there with her sister and her sister's family. I was so excited because for one, I'd be able to get away from work for a little while. Next, I was anxious about the photo op. Third, it had been quite a while since I had last been in Vegas - 1999 to be exact. True enough, I became trigger-happy taking lots of photos. Vegas is an amazing city. I wonder how much electricity is consumed there everyday?! Due to budget constraints, we were able to see only one show - Lani Misalucha and the Society of Seven.

I was left home alone for a couple of weeks before I met L and family in Vegas. It was very quiet at home and I was able to accomplish a lot of things. For one, I was able to do a couple of LOs - Love all these years led us to this.

Coming back to work had been as hectic as when I left. There was even a time when I was forced to take the day off because I was getting so hot-headed. E even told me that I looked disgusted while she was talking to me. My day off had been a productive one - I used it to make christmas cards. L was even teasing me that she'll buy some cards from me to send to her family back home. We'll see....

Is my life back to normal? If normal meant I'm not home alone anymore, and that things has slowed down at work, and that our guests have returned back to New Zealand, then yes, my life is indeed back to normal.

Star Struck

Guess who came by the office today? Just Lenny Krazelburg, Ian Crocker, and none other than Michael Phelps himself!!!!!! We had a kick-off staff meeting for FY05 and before the meeting ended, they came out from the backstage and we were on our feet clapping. My jaw dropped to the floor! I couldn't believe they were actually our company guests! I've always hoped they'd (especially Lenny and Michael) drop by the office to thank our company for sponsoring them at the Olympics, but knowing their busy schedules, I doubted that would happen. You can just imagine how star struck I was when I actually saw them up close!

There was an autograph signing and picture taking between 3-5. My friends were there, and they have pictures to show for it, but I, unfortunately, was busy slaving away. Our release went in today and we were having a few problems that I couldn't get away from my desk because I was burried deep with fixes and migrations. I missed that chance! Nevertheless, I will sleep happy tonight because I actually got to see my crushes - Michael Phelps and Lenny Krazelburg!

That Dizzy, Shaky Feeling

An earthquake with a magnitude of 6.0 shook Parkfield yesterday - a long way away from where I work. Still, we felt the shake because our building is on rollers. I was on conference call, and as soon as I felt the building shaking, I dropped off from the call to get a better feel if I need to hide under my desk. At first I thought I was getting dizzy, but I had gotten used to the shakes (have actually experienced it on this building more than a couple of times already) to know that it's an earthquake. My next-cube neighbor is actually panicking - she wanted to get out of the building as if she's safer there. I was praying silently and deep inside, I'm truly scared. Some folks are actually laughing it off (as if earthquakes are an everyday occurrence in California).

This incident reminded me of the 1990 quake that destroyed lots of homes and buildings, and claimed thousands of lives in the Philippines. I was a freshman then and I could vividly recall how two gentlemen carried me out of the cashier's office into the open. I was closed to getting squashed in there when people panicked and were trying to beat each other out of the building. Funny how, after I came out of that cramped space, I thought about the shoe I dropped. The guy came back inside to get my shoe telling me "miss, mamamatay ka na lang, sapatos mo pa ang naisip mo". I was in a daze at that time that I failed to thank these good samaritans, let alone, look at their faces. Well, whereever you are, your act of chivalry is deeply appreciated.

On a lighter note, good thing I got my shoe back because I had to walk home that night. Can you imagine me walking with just one shoe on? :)

Peace and quiet

My roommate's sister Z and her family came to visit from New Zealand. They arrived last Wednesday. Since it was their eldest son's birthday, we invited very close neighbors to celebrate with us. Dinner ended at half past 11. I went to bed late and was dozing on and off almost the entire Thursday. On Saturday, Z's friends from college came by for a get together and we hosted yet another set of guests. It was 12mn when we finished cleaning up. I called hubz and we talked 'til around 1am.

I woke up this morning with a migraine. My roommate and everybody else is busy preparing for their 2 week trip through the West Coast. They plan to go to Yosemite today, then Tahoe tomorrow, then to Utah, Arizona, Las Vegas, then back to San Francisco. My roommate has been telling me they haven't started driving out and she felt stressed already! I don't blame her - that's a lot of driving to do in two weeks! Good luck L!

They left at around 9am and I have the house by myself. I went to church where an elderly passed out because of low blood sugar. There was a commotion inside the church and good thing, the ambulance came quickly.

I was able to finish a couple of pages for our scrapbook. I called them We're Engaged and All About Us layouts. It took me 4 hours to finish both of them, but that included conceptualizing the design and printing photos. I'd like to think my layouts are getting better. Comments please.... :)

And oh, by the way, I finished a greeting card for my bestfriend M's birthday on the 7th of October.

Counting five days 'til we go into Production! Please pray for a smooth and successful install.

Check this out

I get asked what my husband does on his spare time. Well, he has a remote controlled plane which he flies every weekend. When I went home a few months ago, he dragged me to where they're flying these RC planes and I was really impressed at how he manuevered his'. Call me a proud wife but when someone comes up to me to say how good my husband is in flying, I am also flattered. So, I'd like to share you this video of his flying abilities. This was posted at an RC Tech Community website.

Way to go C!

Mushy Stuff

I'm feeling mushy today. I just finished reading Nicholas Sparks' "The Wedding". I thought love stories were always written by women. This book intrigued me because I heard some friends talking about how good it is. Needless to say my friends are as mushy as I am.... :)

This book revolved around a man whose marriage spanned for 30 years until he one day realized that his wife is almost about ready to leave him. He has spent years prioritizing his career over his family. Though his love for his wife never changed through the years, he didn't know how to show it. With this realization, he made it a resolve to court his wife again in order to regain the old feelings back. How he did it is the meat of the story. The ending is oh-so-touching - tugging to my heart! I was in the bus reading the part where he wrote a love letter to his wife and it kept me sniffling. I consider it a good love story when it brings tears to my eyes.

I'd truly recommend this as a must read for romantics like me.... :)

Sigh, I wish hubz is here so I can snuggle with him. There's no better way to read a love story than to have that special someone beside you whom you can hug.

September Birthday Greetings

A lot of people celebrate their birthdays on the same month as I do. December's truly a busy season - not only for weddings but for pregnancies as well! :) To all of you, happy, happy birthday!!!!

M today
our neighbor G on the 16th
D on the 17th
E and my brother M on the 19th
C on the 24th
Ninong B and my second cousin R on the 29th
P on the 30th

Pahabol birthday greetings to
E on Sept. 6
my inaanak M on Sept. 10
my former team lead P on Sept. 10

To all of you, I pray for all the very best that life has to offer!

Club 99

I got this from a friend - a gentle reminder to be thankful for whatever we have - big or small.

*********

Long ago, there lived a King. This King should have been contented with his life, given all the riches and luxuries he had. However, this was not the case! The King always found himself wondering why he just never seemed content with his life. Sure, he had the attention of everyone wherever he went, attended fancy dinners and parties, but somehow, he still felt something was lacking and he couldn't put his finger on it. One day, the King had woken up earlier than usual to stroll around his palace. He entered his huge living room and came to a stop when he heard someone happily singing away...following this singing... he saw that one of the servants was singing and had a very contented look on his face. This fascinated the King and he summoned this man to his chambers. The man, his servant, entered the King's chambers as ordered. The King asked why he was so happy?

To this the man replied: "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but I make enough of a living to keep my wife and children happy. We don't need too much, a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummy. My wife and children are my inspiration, they are content with whatever little I bring home. I am happy because my family is happy." Hearing this, the King dismissed the servant and summoned his Personal Assistant to his chambers. The King related his personal anguish about his feelings and then related the story of the servant to his Personal Assistant, hoping that somehow, he will be able to come up with some reasoning that here was a King who could have anything he wished for at a snap of his fingers and yet was not contented, whereas, his servant, having so little was extremely contented.

The Personal Assistant listened attentively and came to a conclusion. He said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."

"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired. To which the Assistant replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, you will have to do the following... place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep, you will then understand what The 99 Club is." That very same evening, the King arranged for 99 Gold coins to be placed in a bag at the servant's doorstep. Although he was slightly hesitant and he thought he should have put 100 Gold coins into the bag, but since his assistant had advised him to put 99 that is what he did.

The servant was just stepping out of his house when he saw a bag at his doorstep. Wondering about its contents, he took it into his house and opened the bag. When he opened the bag, he let out a great big shout of joy...

Gold Coins... so many of them. He could hardly believe it. He called his wife to show her the coins.

He then took the bag to a table and emptied it out and began to count the coins. Doing so, he realized that there were 99 coins and he thought it was an odd number so he counted again, and again and again only to come to the same conclusion... 99 Gold Coins.

He began to wonder, what could have happened to that last 1 coin? For no one would leave 99 coins. He began to search his entire house, looked around his backyard for hours, not wanting to lose out on that one coin. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to make up for that 1 Gold coin to make his entire collection an even 100 Gold Coins.

He got up the next morning, in an extremely horrible mood, shouting at the children and his wife for his delay, not realizing that he had spent most of the night conjuring ways of working hard so that he had enough money to buy himself that gold coin. He went to work as usual - only not in his usual best mood, singing happily - as he grumpily did his daily errands. Seeing the man's attitude change so drastically, the King was puzzled. He promptly summoned his assistant to his chambers. The King related his thoughts about the servant and once again, his assistant listened. The King could not believe that the servant who until yesterday had been singing away and was happy and content with his life had taken a sudden change of attitude, even though he should have been happier after receiving the gold coins.

To this the assistant replied "Ah! But your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club." He explained: "The 99 Club is just a name given to those people who have everything but yet are never contented, therefore they are always working hard and striving for that extra 1 to round it out to 100!

We have so much to be thankful for and we can live with very little in our lives, but the minute we are given something bigger and better, we want even more!

We are not the same happy contented person we used to be, we want more and more and by wanting more and more we don't realize the price we pay for it. We lose our sleep, our happiness; we hurt the people around us just as a price to pay for our growing needs and desires. That is what joining The 99 Club is all about."

Hearing this the King decided that from that day onwards, he was going to start appreciating all the little things in life.

Striving for more is always good, but let's not strive so hard and for so much that we lose all those near and dear to our hearts, we shouldn't compromise our happiness for moments of luxuries!

Belated birthday greetings...

Belated happy birthday E (the 9th of Sept.), S & J (the 11th of September), and to my lola (the 12th of September).

My prayers for all of you - good health, happiness, and the best out of life (and love).

Hugs to you all!

The day I turned 31...

> Dear God,
>
> Today is my 31st birthday. Some people start keeping their ages a secret when they hit 30 while I proudly say "I'm 31!" when asked about my age. Thank you for another fruitful year. I can't say I couldn't ask for more but I am eternally grateful for all the things that happened to my life - all 31 years of it.
>
> Ten years ago, I graduated from college and You were there with me as I struggled through hard times. It wasn't an easy trek and there were times I would talk to You in tears - I felt like giving up. We had nothing then - absolutely nothing. We lost our house, but we knew that was coming long before. Still, we were thankful because I was already employed when we got evicted. After all, we didn't have to sleep on the streets and beg. You always found a way for us to survive it all even when my mom succumbed into depression. Even now, I still cannot believe I was able to provide for my mom's medication, my brother's schooling, not to mention our monthly rent. You have always sent reinforcements - from my loving grandmother to my generous aunt, to my dad who would, once in a blue moon, send financial support, to my then boyfriend C, who would never fail to lend me money just when I'm down to my last buck.
>
> I prayed hard to be able to find employment overseas so I can help my family even more. When we lost our house, You were there when I made a solemn promise to my mom that I will help her realize her dream of having a house of her own which nobody can take away from her. Finding a job overseas is the fastest and easiest way I could keep that promise. At 24, You granted my prayers and I found myself leaving for San Francisco the day after C and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary as a couple. Because I had to leave in a hurry with a job already waiting, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to my mom and my brother. That truly broke my heart to pieces. I was at the airport putting up a brave face while my grandmother, my bestfriend G, and my boyfriend C were teary-eyed. Deep inside, I was crying tears by the barrel.
>
> The project didn't push through - it was canned even before I started, but you gave me an even better job in lieu of that. You blessed with me wonderful teammates and a very patient mentor. On my first birthday here in the US, I was able to buy myself a nice car. You made sure I had the funds and the job to finance it.
>
> You brought me to places I used to imagine only in my dreams. At 27, I started making my mom's dream a reality. I know You were with her when the house was completed. I can hear the excitement in my mom's voice whenever I talk to her on the phone. It cleaned up my savings but I know it was well worth it. The year after that, I was able to co-own a house here in the US with my roommate. I cried on my first night there because never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself living in a beautiful house like that. I now know why my mom was so elated. I grew up in a house where the roof leaked - where we had to wake up every now and then when it rains so we can empty out the basins that keeps the water from flooding the floor.
>
> Because You blessed me with a stable job, I was able to not only help finance a house for my mom and my brother, but to help in the renovation of my grandmother's house as well. At 30, You blessed me with a great husband - my long time boyfriend who has been with me through it all. He understood the responsibilities I carried on my shoulders and he accepted me wholeheartedly. He was very supportive of my dreams. He made sure he didn't get in my way of achieving them even when I know it had hurt him so much to see me leave. I consider myself very fortunate and very blessed!
>
> On my 31st birthday, You heard another prayer, and granted me a big birthday present. Another house would make 3! Today is not only special because it's my birthday, but it is also the day we closed escrow for a rental property. Again, I'm a co-owner with my roommate. I'm crying as I write this beca> use our broker just called to let us know that it's recorded in our name today!
>
> Lord, I only asked for a roof above our heads while I was growing up. A roof that doesn't leak, stairs that don't rock and squeak everytime we climb it, and walls that are not infested by molds, yet You gave me a whole lot more!
>
> Miracles do happen everyday. My life is a living proof of that. People who knew us before still couldn't believe how far we've come in a span of 10 years! It still amazes me to this very day how it all happened. I know one thing for sure though, You have always been beside me. You carried me through rough times. We've weathered the toughest of storms together.
>
> Today let me not only celebrate my birthday, but let me take a moment to thank You for everything You have blessed me with. You are truly good.... all the time!
>
> Your loving daughter,
> M

Roses are red.... balloons are round.... stuffed toys are cuddly

I got a nice surprise from hubz today. He sent me three roses at work with two balloons that had "Happy Birthday" on one and "I love you" on the other. It also has this cute little blue teddy bear (blue is my favorite color, so there). Call me sentimental but I was teary eyed at that! Co-workers who saw it all said he's sooo sweet, and I totally agree! I'm one lucky girl!

Thanks hubz.... you made my day right again! Now you made me miss you even more....

One day to go....

What a shocking day!

Someone forwarded me an email today with disturbing photos from Russia. From kids being carried away by their parents, to people crying after being reunited with their kids, to wounded children with only their undies on - it was such a troubling scene. Then there were photos of those who died - which broke my heart to pieces that it brought tears to my eyes.

My heart went out to those children who will probably suffer the trauma from being held captive for days! Parents will probably dread the moment they leave their kids to school, not knowing if they'll come home safe after class. I cried for the kids and for their parents because I can feel their pain deep in my heart.

What is happening to our world today? Why does it have to come to this - violence against young and innocent children? What harm have they done?!

Add to this the news that there was an accident at San Mateo Bridge yesterday that threw two kids (one is four years old, and the other, three) out of the car into the open sea! It was such a bizarre accident. The three year old kid was rescued alive but in critical condition. The other one wasn't as fortunate as he still hasn't been found. For those children to be thrown out of the car, the impact must've been great and they must not be wearing seatbelts! What about car seats? Have they been sitting on one? I didn't think so....

I just become very emotional when children are involved. I will say my silent prayer for them tonight. Please include them in your prayers as well.

Two days to go....

Back to the Grind

After a relaxing three-day weekend, I'm back to work. I practically had to drag myself out of bed this morning. What a way to start another work week huh? If only there are three-day weekends every month.... I wish, I wish....

We were up on Elk Grover on Saturday. It was flaming hot over there! It's probably 10-15 degrees warmer than where we live. To think that Napa is a good 10 degrees warmer than the Peninsula as well! Other than a scorching weekend, it was great actually. I preferred to stay home because it's cooler indoors than out. Even when I step out of the house, I make sure I coat my skin with enough sunblock to protect it from UV rays. We got home later than usual because we were out window shopping. Good thing I didn't bring home any windows with me, ha!

Sunday was spent cleaning the house a bit, only to mess it up again while doing my scrapbook layouts. I had to run to Michael's for a few minutes to buy some stuff that I need, only to end up buying those "just in case" stuffs - that's the shoppaholic in me trying to justify my spending! I have to pat myself on the shoulder though - I was able to make 4 layouts and a greeting card for my uncle's birthday. I did good! I had a late dinner because I was so engrossed with my LOs that time passed swiftly by. In fact, I didn't even mind being at home on my own. My roommate attended a party while I preferred to just stay home and work on my layouts. It was so relaxing doing it that I think I'm already getting addicted. I took pictures to send to hubz and he complimented my work. Then, before retiring to bed, I had to do some ironing. Of course my day isn't complete without speaking to hubz on the phone.

Monday was my quiet reading time. My roommate spent the afternoon taking a long nap. I was quite proud of myself because I did what I needed to accomplish - I didn't get swayed into sleeping as well. I even wrote a couple of snail mail letters to some friends back home. I wrapped baby shower gifts for a distant relative's second baby and made a personalized greeting card as well!

Oh well, back to work....

Three days to go....

*&#^()%!!!!!

I'll take this opportunity to vent my frustrations on what I've seen at a "noontime variety show" on Sunday. Please note that I enclosed in quotes the words noontime variety show. You'll know in a bit.

I was watching ASAP Mania on Sunday via The Filipino Channel (TFC). We subscribed a few months back because we miss tagalog shows so much, and we'd like to know what's going on in our beloved land. In that show, Vina Morales came out with a group called South Border. They were singing an obscene song that totally irked me! For crying out loud, it's a noontime show - kids watching.... get it? What bothered me even more was that they were showing the lyrics out for everyone to see - and sing with - just like you do on karaoke bars! How low is that?!

Ok Vina, you can't say you have no idea that was what the song was about because you had to memorize the lyrics to be able to sing it with the band. It's bad enough that the producers or director allowed such a song to be sung on a "noontime variety show", let alone show the lyrics in public! It's just so degrading!!!!

MTRCB, helloooo - couldn't you suspend the whole show, the band, and Vina for pulling a stunt like this? The past few weeks, a couple of celebrities have been suspended because they uttered obscene words in another show. I didn't see them do it, but this time, I saw with my own two eyes and I would love to see them reprimanded for it! A simple slap in the hand just won't do! Of course after realizing they were singing some *&*^%L song, I made sure I switched channels.

I don't know, maybe I'm totally naive and a tad conservative, but I asked my friends who saw the same show and they were also annoyed, especially because they have kids who were watching it with them! Good thing they were around to change channels!

Sorry, I just had to let this out of my system.

Don't say bad words

That was my parents telling us not to say bad words. Once there was this fad in school that you're cool if you utter the prohibited words. My mom heard me swearing at home and she slapped me so hard in the face that her fingers made a mark on my cheeks. Boy did I learn my lesson!

I was at Blockbuster's today renting some movies for the weekend. Two teenage girls in front of me caught my eye because they're wearing the tiniest shorts I've ever seen, not to mention the very revealing shirt. They also have piercings on their face and on their bellybuttons. And oh, they have tattoos too! I noticed that I wasn't the only one looking because everyone else gawked at them when they uttered the "f" word. They were so upset because they were charged late fees for the 6 DVDs (or games) they returned today (that are due yesterday?!). They insisted they've returned it on time but didn't drop them on the dropbox - duh?! Also, the cashier insisted that there's one game missing from the bunch. Of course they got upset again and swore some more! In the end, they just stormed out of the store.

What does their parents teach them?! They have no respect for their elders! Pity because they're both pretty. I wanted to smack them right then and there but of course I restrained myself. When they left, everyone in line had something to say about that incident. I guess their attitude is a reflection of how their parents raised them.

I'm glad my mom pacified me when she heard me swearing.

Talk about grumpiness....

Here's an exerpt from my conversation with hubz last night (H is hubz; M is me).

M: Tampo si lola kasi di mo daw siya binibisita or tinatawagan
H: Gusto mo linggo-linggo ko siyang puntahan eh
M: Hindi naman, pero sana kung matatawagan mo siya weekly.
H: Sino kaya ang hindi tumatawag?

Ouch!

Maybe he's grumpy because he's having a bad hair day - or something of that sort.

I know I'm so bad at calling my family. Not that I haven't been trying. I do - I try to get in touch with them but I couldn't get through. I've been calling my brother almost everyday last week but he's always out of coverage area. I have also been constantly calling grandma but her phone kept ringing. She told me yesterday that she was at her brother's place almost the whole week. Good thing I was able to reach her because she plans on going to her sister's house the next day and won't be back until Sunday!

Hubz said he bought a new cellphone for my brother because it seems that his old one (which he inherited from hubz - an antique, hihihi) is giving him problems. Hopefully I'll be able to call them a little more often.

I just kept quiet when he said that. Of course I was hurt because I felt the sarcasm in his voice. I just didn't want to say anything and blow the whole thing out of proportion. During these times, I have learned to bite my tongue. If only my friends could see me now - they used to call me the modern Gabriela you know.

Ah, the things you do for love....

Decypting a 7 year old email....

I was forwarded a cute email from a friend's daughter. She has difficulty spelling tagalog, tee-hee! She came to the US when she was two years old, just starting to baby talk. She's now 7 and in school. Here's an exerpt from her email.

***********
Subject: miss ko then ikow!

kamusta na! si k parang indipa ina ubos ang pagkaeng ya. miss ko na ikaw. anong
gingawa mo?

************

It felt like reading a text message from some barok texter in Manila. I found it cute though, because if you talk to her, she can still talk back in Tagalog. Her parents trained her well. They speak Tagalog at home, and they're only allowed to speak english when they're in school. Even her younger brother and sister (she's the eldest) can converse fluently in Tagalog. Great job - J and L! They truly haven't forgotten their roots.

I admire kids who grew up here but haven't forgotten how to speak, or at least understand tagalog. In the Philippines, people admire english-speaking children. I remember going to the mall with my then-bf-now-husband when we heard a little kid speak to his parents in english. Hubz said he'd make sure he'd have a kid like that - one who can speak fluent english. That's not impossible, especially since we plan to raise our kids here in the US. I'm sure they will even be better english-speakers than us. But, like my friend, I hope I can instill in them the appreciation of their roots. After all, being bilingual is definitely a plus.

I Asked God Why...

Just when I feel the urge to ask God "why" sometimes...

*****************

I asked God why I wasn't rich.
He showed me a man with the wealth of a thousand kings,
who was lonely, and had no one to share it with.

I asked God why I wasn't beautiful.
He showed me a woman more beautiful than any other,
who was ugly because of her vanity.

I asked God why He'd allowed me to become old.
He showed me a boy of 16,
who lay dead at the scene of a car accident.

I asked God why I didn't have a bigger house.
He showed me a family of six,
who had just been evicted from their tiny shack,
and were forced, to live on the street.

I asked God why I had to work.
He showed me a man,
who couldn't find a decent job,
because he'd never learned to read.

I asked God why I wasn't more popular.
He showed me a socialite with a thousand friends,
who all left the moment the money and parties were no longer there.

I asked God why I wasn't smarter.
He showed me a natural born genius,
serving life in prison for making ill use of his knowledge.

I asked God why He put up with a thankless sinner like me.
He showed me His Bible.
He showed me His Son
who took my place at the judgment.
I knew then how much He loved me.

Single or Married?

I received an email from a friend the other day. I was copied on the email - it wasn't sent to me directly. It read "mga misis....". She later realized that like all those on her list, I'm also a Mrs.

Do I feel like I'm married? I sometimes don't. My routine hasn't changed. My husband is not physically present with me here - at least not yet. I still have the same single friends whom I go out with from time to time. I'm not pregnant nor do we have kids yet.

When I got married last year, I thought my life will drastically change. Ok, don't get me wrong, it did change - though not as drastic as I expected it to. I now consult hubz on financial matters. After all, it's our money - not just mine or his' anymore. Before I buy anything valuable, I'd have to consult him first, sort of ask his permission, and he does the same thing too. I inform him of my plans to go out with friends, and he tells me of his whereabouts as well.

I thought I'd be alienated from my single friends after I tied the knot. The fact is, they need to get used to the idea that I'm now a married woman - with or without my husband by my side. You can say I'm sort of "in between" being single and being married. I can't totally relate to married couples yet because our only challenge is the fact that we're far apart. We don't really argue a lot, nor do I get bothered by his unpleasant habits as we don't live in the same roof anyway. On the other hand, I've outgrown my single life and I sometimes feel I can't relate to my single friends either. I'm not "kilig" seeing handsome men around. After all, I'm really contented with the one I have.

So, am I single or am I married? I think it's just perception. People are just used to seing married couples "together". But they also need to realize that "togetherness" goes beyond the physical. I feel special because I have a husband who loves me dearly - enough to be faithful to me all these years.

In the end, no matter what others think, it's what hubz and I feel that actually counts. Our marriage is more than the wedding ring on our fingers, it's more than the intimacy and each other's physical presence. It's a feeling beyond words... beyond space... beyond distance...

Call me "The Bag Lady"

I get these funny looks everyday. Men, women, even children eyeing me with curiosity because I'm hauling a minimum of two bags a day. First, a shoulder bag which contained my necessities and valuables. Second, a bigger shoulder bag which contained a walkman (for the audio books I listen to while on the train), work papers that I take home with me daily, the book that I'm currently reading (mostly hardbound). You can just imagine the weight of both on my shoulders. Add to the pack my lunch bag. Then, from time to time, I'm trotting with me a gym bag as well! No wonder people look at me like I'm a little off. Even I know I looked hilarious!

Why all these bags? For as long as I could remember, I have carried with me several bags, and heavy ones at that! From my school days where I have to haul them up the stairs (to the 4th or 5th floor) up until now, and even when I travel. Some people have security blankets, I think I have what you call "security bags". I feel nude if I don't have even a single bag or a purse with me - even on little trips to the grocery.

I remembered being teased that I have our whole house in my bag. My classmates would even hush themselves (when talking out loud) because "I have my mom sleeping inside one of my bags". To pay tribute to all the bags - big and small - I carry with me everyday, I was christened by a teammate as being "the bag lady".

So, when you see someone as weird looking as I do with all those bags in tow, think of me, will you?

Dream with No Boundaries....

I watched the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympic Games in Athens, Greece the other night. It's amazing to see the look of awe in each of the athlete's eyes. It's truly a dream come true for them. It's the culmination of all their hardwork, perseverance, and determination.

There is an athlete in each of us, if only because we have dreams. Big or small, they fuel our day to day lives. We work hard because we want to achieve them, and we are determined to reach our goals. There are times that we encounter bumps along the way. Times when we feel like giving up, but we continue to pick ourselves up and go on. We were taught that quitters never win, and winners never quit. As life's athletes, we share the same determination, perseverance, hardwork, faith, and patience like those that are in Greece to compete.

In late elementary through high school, up until college, I have been exempted from my Physical Education classes. I could never participate in strenous sports activities because of a vehicular accident when I was 11 that gave me my second chance to live. I didn't learn these values (including teamwork) from sports. I learned it from my journey through life.

If I listened to all the "you can't", "you won't", "it's not possible" comments, I wouldn't be where I am today. Instead, those same comments guided me to prove them wrong.

God didn't set boundaries on what we can dream of. He didn't set limits on what we can achieve. I believe in the power of the mind. When we say we can do it, and truly believe it in our hearts, nothing is impossible.

In Athens, they say "let the games begin". In life, we say "let the dreams begin"....

A Mean Comment

It's Friday - a day everyone in the team detest so much. Some of my teammates have been telling me they're losing sleep over the fact that today is the day they'd need to give their status to our boss. Not a pretty picture!

To make the story short, we got through the hour that didn't end up as bloody as last week's. Before the meeting came to an end, our boss made a comment that she's been working for the past couple of weekends doing some administrative stuff. I made a snide comment "so what's your status?". I know, cruel huh?! Jokingly, she asked why we're being mean to her, and that we'd actually miss her when she's gone. I regretted having said anything after that.

I'm a very polite person - thanks to my parents who raised me well. No matter how tough my boss had been to us these past few weeks, she doesn't deserve a sarcastic comment like that. I felt guilty, and I wanted to say sorry. Fortunately, when I talked to her in the afternoon (to review the report), she was cordial about it as if nothing happened - thank God!

What can I say - I'm truly very sorry E! I promise to bite my tongue next time.

A Quiet moment....

We have a picnic today but I decided not to come to work. I haven't been feeling very well since yesterday but after popping in 2 nyquils last night, I'm feeling a little better. Still, I didn't want to expose myself and get worse. Everyone left work at around 11:30 to get to the park. It's almost 2pm and I'm still working - quietly for a change. It felt good not to reply to any emails, nor answer any calls!

I thought that after my teammates left for the park, I could give myself a break and rest. However, I'm trying to make the most of my quiet time to accomplish a lot more. Maybe around 3pm, I could log off and attend to my errands. I need to go to the grocery to buy a few toiletries and some key ingredients for a cake, then go to Michael's to buy a scrapbooking magazine.

It's J's 9th month birthday and we offered to celebrate here at home. Theirs is currently in a mess because they're having their flooring changed. We'll probably just buy dinner for tonight since it's just going to be me, my roommate, J's parents, and her elder brother. I'm planning to bake and decorate a cake, but this all depends if I'm up to it.

As far as the scrapbooking magazine goes, I'm planning to start on a new hobby. Hubz asked me last night where I am going to get the time to do it. I know he was getting worried about me, especially when I'm getting sick. He would remind me everyday to take my vitamins, sleep right, eat well. Those were my kilig moments. It's a great feeling to have someone care for you, even when they're afar.

I wanted to start scrapbooking because we have tons of wedding and honeymoon pictures, and photos from my most recent trip home unorganized. Besides, I love looking at scrapbooks. I call it a labor of love because it's not easy to put one together. Anyway, I have been told that it's a relaxing activity as well. Maybe I can call it a de-stressing activity.

Howdy?

I often hear people ask "how are you?", to which I'm not sure if they really want to know, or it's just part of their expression. I don't even know if I should give them an honest answer, or just say "I'm good" and let it be done with.

This morning, while I was at the pantry preparing my cereal for breakfast, one of my daily "how are you" greeters came in and asked just that. I winced, not uttering a single word but my expression gave it away. Mostly, I would say "I'm pretty good" - out of a rehearsed reply, but not really reflecting a truthful answer. Of course, a negative response meant further questions.

One of my teammates came by yesterday to give me fruits. She said I look like I needed some cheering up. Another teammate sent me an email today asking how I was because I didn't sound good when he was talking to me. I get reminders like I need to slow down, or that I ought to give myself a break. Their concern keeps me going.

To be honest, I'm really tired, stressed, and sleep deprived. Even when I sleep, I dream of the work I have yet to do. I know, it's quite pathetic, but it can't be avoided, especially when your superiors harrass you everyday to remind you of the things you need to accomplish. It also made me realize me why I don't like women bosses in the first place. They're very demanding, obsessive compulsive, control freaks, and detail oriented.

Do I sound like I'm sourgraping? It's just that I haven't had a woman boss that clicked with me. Oh wait, let me take that back. I did have one - but only for a couple of months - 6 weeks of which I was in Manila for a vacation. Does that count?

So, the next time I'm asked how I am, maybe I just ought to keep my mouth shut, and ask the question back at them.

Confessions of a Library-holic

If there's a frequent library visitor award, I'd probably be vying for the title. Not only do I frequent the city library, but I borrow tons of reading materials, or CDs, or DVDs, even audio books. I'm there almost everyday - especially on days when they close at 9pm.

They say that 90% of the library's funds are coming from property taxes. Boy, am I making the most of what I'm paying for!!!!

Ok, so I love libraries. Even in college, if you need to find me, just go to the library and I'll be there. I just love to read - books, magazines, or whatever I can put my hands on really. Growing up, we didn't have money to buy books that are not a necessity for school, and so, to satiate my appetite for reading, I'd find my way to the school library and immerse myself on tons of them. Maybe they're to blame for my constant daydreams too!

One good thing about my commute to work is that I get a lot of time to read. Since I take the train and then a bus to work, I have hours to kill. I read on the train, then take a short nap on the bus going to work. On my way home, I take a nap on the bus, read while waiting for the train, listen to audio tapes on the train. Funny because on my way to work in the morning, I have no problem reading while the train is moving. Going home though, I get dizzy if I read. That's where the audio books come in.

A Lesson Learned

I just finished reading a John Grisham novel - Bleachers. It's a far cry from his usual courtroom drama novels or lawyer stories. It's a nice read though - a bit inspirational if I could say so. It's a close resemblance to a Mitch Albom's book entitled "Tuesdays with Morrie". The story revolved around a coach the players loathe when they play football for him, but one whom you'd end up loving. You realize that he was not only teaching courage and determination on field, but that he's actually teaching his players to face and deal with life's hardest blows.

I have had teachers like that. I don't necessarily hate them when they were my teachers, but they truly taught us a lot of wonderful things that helped us cope with college and the life thereafter. One of them passed away a few years back. She was my english teacher during my senior year in high school. I used to be a very shy girl (I know, quite unbelievable huh?!) - so quiet, timid, and naive. One thing I fear the most - speaking in front of people. You could call it a bad case of stage fright. Part of our grades is to be able to deliver speeches - oratorical, extemporaneous, and the like. You will never be able to graduate without completing them.

I don't know how she did it, but Miss C (Missed C, as she would sometimes call herself being an old maid, but which would elicit laughter from her students) encouraged us to overcome stage fright. I remembered delivering a speech about "The Good Thief" for our finals. It's a speech about one of the thieves crucified with Jesus - one who sought forgiveness with his dying breath. Almost at the end, I forgot the words - probably because of stage fright, so I made them up. My classmates applauded me, and thought I did very well. I was proud of myself. I didn't know I had it in me.

Another critical part of our grades was to keep a journal of our everyday lives, our very thoughts and feelings. It was tough at first, but I learned more and more to open up. As she went through each journal, she would scribble notes on the side, sometimes correcting the spelling or grammar. However, she was more concerned of the content than the format. She would even scribble words of wisdom, sometimes comfort if it was about a problem. It was then that I dreamt of becoming a journalist. Of course, it didn't come true, but that was another story.

From time to time, college students - those whom Miss C taught in high school, came back to school to thank her for the lessons they've learned. When I got to college, I felt I ought to do the same, but I never got around it. Until she passed away.... How I wished I told her how I valued the lessons I learned from her in class.

In college, I became a speech instructress - teaching freshmen how to enunciate words. I excelled in my English classes. I also realized that I have a knack for extemporaneous speaking. When I'm nervous, I tend to think better and faster. In fact, when I defended my thesis, I had a full panel made up of top-notch professors, including our Department Head. Need I say I aced that one? I guess they were more interested in seeing me speak than in reviewing my thesis.

On my first job, I joined Toastmasters to hone my speaking skills more. I would come in, deliver speeches, never needing to prepare for any one of those. The last speech I delivered for TM was in a competition. I was merely wearing jeans and shirt. I had no preparation whatsoever because prior to that, we were busy packing. We were moving out of the house I grew up in. I was in jeans because right after that speech, I need to head home because it was that same day that we were to move out. I was told that the speech was impeccable. I even saw tears in the audience's eyes when it was over. The judges asked for a copy of my speech. They were shocked to the core when I told them I didn't have one. It was totally impromptu.

I still miss standing in front of the public. I miss the look of admiration in my audience's eyes. It had been so long since I did that, and I'm not sure if I still had that touch in me. Miss C only taught me to overcome my stage fright, but in the process, she developed my public speaking skills. The best part of it all - she developed in me the confidence I didn't realize was there all along. The shy, timid, quiet, and naive girl is long forgotten.

Thank you Miss C. You are truly missed!

A dayÂ’s worth of blessings

I was taught, even at an early age, to count my blessings daily. Even on bad days, I try to think of good reasons why I ought to be thankful for another day. It keeps me from whining. It also helps me appreciate life a little better.

1. Thank God for Fridays! I have been looking forward to weekend since Monday this week. It had been a long haul for me, but I survived it!
2. Thank God for friends! I had lunch with friends today - one of whom celebrated his birthday the other day (Belated happy birthday D!). It was a sumptuous buffet at Todai's - one of my favorite places. We went back to work with full tummies and sleepy eyes.
3. Thank God for another day! Everyday, while taking a bath, I utter my silent prayers - first of which is to thank God for giving me another day. Some people die in their sleep you know.
4. Thank God for my job! I may dread going to work on most days, but at least I still have one.
5. Thank God for the chance to talk to my husband last night! Even when my phone bill is sky-high, I make it a point to call hubz every night. It's the only way we could keep the communication line open. He keeps me posted on how his day is progressing, and I keep him informed on how my day went. On not-so-good days, I take comfort knowing that he's there to hear my woes out.

I had an earful of sermon from my boss today regarding how our projects are progressing. It seems like I get a dose of these everyday that it goes into my right ear, and exits my left one. What can I say - people are working as hard as ever, and if the zombie-like look in their eyes isn't evidence enough, I don't know what else is.

On days like this, the more I need to remind myself that there are still a lot to be thankful for - and so the list goes on and on and on....

What's in a N-A-M-E?

I get asked when I am going to carry my husband's name, what my new last name is, or when I am going to change my name. For personal reasons - reasons that has something to do about my husband's petition to come to the US, I haven't changed my name, and my husband understands that.

Really, what's in a name?

If I don't carry my husband's name, does that mean I don't love him enough? Does that mean he isn't important to me?

Well, if it ain't obvious, he's the most important person in my life now. After all, we're a family. Plus, he knows I love him dearly.

I told him that when he's here (hopefully soon), I'd hyphenate his name with mine. He agreed because he knows that I've built my reputation around the name my father gave me. After all, I have been carrying it all my life.

I have known women who, after getting married, decided not to change their names. I respect that. I truly believe that marriage shouldn't be measured by carrying a common last name alone.

We all have our reasons. We can debate over this for hours. Women ought to have the option to keep their names, and not be criticized or questioned by that choice. After all, sons are able to carry on the family's name, but daughters' can't. At least not in the society we're in, or not unless you're an unmarried woman with children.

I'm a sucker for a good love story. I love watching romantic movies. I enjoy reading romantic novels. As a little girl, dreams of a handsome prince sweeping me off my feet kept me up until late at night.

I met hubz more than ten years ago because of a common friend who introduced us to each other. If someone told me then that we'd end up getting married someday, I would've rolled my eyes, laughed, and shrugged it off. Ours wasn't a perfect realtionship - it was a tumultuous one! I was as stubborn as a bull (living up to my Ox sign). A lot of times, I can sense he wanted so much to give up on me. I'm sure glad he didn't though!

After we got married, I was more in love with my husband than ever before. I love the feeling of waking up in his arms. You can just imagine how cold I feel now that I'm back to SFO on my own. There's no better feeling in the world than to spend your lifetime with someone you love more than life itself.

To tell you the truth, I have a hard time imagining myself being just a plain housewife. So it surprised me how I could voluntarily adjust to being domesticated. Last year, when he went to work, and I was home, I'd make sure I have his breakfast prepared. We would dine together before he goes off to work. I would also prepare the clothes he'd wear for work. I even made sure I prepared his lunch. After work, I make it a point to be home to ask how his day went, or give him a little shoulder and back massage. It was a great feeling being a wife. In fact, I'd gladly give up my professional life any day if I will be asked to choose between being a wife (and a future mom) over my career.

Being apart from him is just something I will never get used to. If I used to smile when I watch or read love stories, I would now shed tears. I wish ours is as easy as those written on books, or seen on movies.

This year, we will be celebrating our tenth year anniversary. As I look forward to fifty or so more, I just want to express how much I love my guy. Everyday, I pray that immigration laws will soon change so we could be together faster.

I'm a long distance wife. People still ask how I do it. I take it one day at a time. I may look brave on the outside, but if you really look inside my heart, you'd see the pain of being away from a loved one.

When I first came into the company I'm working for today, I was so excited. Everyday, I look forward to waking up to get ready for work. I love the culture because everybody's just easy to talk to, and eager to help. I remembered being so busy for a few months, getting a month break from the heavy workload, and getting another rush of projects. In fact, there were a number of employees who survived without even lifting a finger in all the years they've worked for the company.

Recession came and there were layoffs everywhere. We were not spared of the massive layoffs that threatened technology companies. It was such a devastating day to see a lot of employees leaving work because they were laid off. Every employee's morale came down. Everybody was scared that they're next on the list.

After that massive layoff, things started to change. The culture became different. It seems that competition was on the air. You have to take on a lot more that what you're used to so you can be assured of your job. The projects kept coming, but people kept going as the layoffs continued on. If, in the past, you were able to survive sitting around all day, twidling your fingers, you can't do that anymore. If, after a project, you see a little break in between, you don't see it at all anymore. You work hard, and harder - day after day.

Now I practically drag myself out of bed to get ready for work. I don't look forward to another day at the dungeons. It's a torture coming to work because I know, the only break I'll have is a bathroom break. If you ask my co-workers, they'll tell you that they feel the same way. We're all overworked and stressed, and we don't see the trend coming to an end, or even slowing down.

Here, there, everywhere....

I used to travel a lot. There was a time when my roommate and I would pack our bags, get into the car, and go as far as our cars would take us. My fondest memories of our adventures were driving in the middle of the night to get to Reno from Yosemite, stopping only to get a few hours of sleep at Mono Lake. There was also this trip to the East Coast where we drove from New York City to Niagara Falls (a 10 hour long drive), stayed a couple of nights, and drove up to Massachusette's Martha's Vineyard from there (an exhausting 12 hour drive). I remembered getting to Cape Cod at 3am in the morning, and sleeping inside the car, on a well-lit mall parking lot to catch the 7am boat ride to the Vineyard. From Martha's Vineyard, we got up to Providence, then to the New England States - New Hampshire and Maine. It was such a fun trip and one I thoroughly enjoyed. I have also been all over New York, driving with my dad from the City to Jersey, to Maryland, to Washington DC. Not to mention trips from the Bay Area to Los Angeles. My second Thanksgiving in the US brought me to Las Vegas, then to Arizona with friends.

The last trip I remembered was to Maui where we stayed for a week. We went there on my birthday in 2001. The next day, we woke up to a haunting scene on TV that we thought was a clip from a movie. All channels depicted the same thing. It was then that we realized we were watching a real horror scene from 9-11!

Part of the reason why I love to travel is my love for photography. I'm into landscape photos, and the only way I can satisfy my creative persona is to go to places where I've never been before. I always knew God created a beautiful world. With those pictures, I am able to stand in awe of God's majestic creation and through my camera, share it with other peple, hoping that in the process, they'd thank God for those gifts as much as I have.

Why had I stopped travelling if it's something I truly enjoyed? For the most part, we bought a house in AC. We had to tighten our belts because the first year is always the toughest. Prior to that, I had a house built for my family back home which dried up my savings. It was supposed to be a surprise to my mom, but she learned about it halfway through the construction. Nevertheless, she was equally happy anyhow. The next year posed another challenge because we were preparing for our wedding, and there were expenses that, to this day, we still couldn't believe we were able to afford!

Now, I still have to postpone travelling because I need to save my vacation time for my yearly trip home - to be with my husband, even for as short as a month. When I'm home, we try to travel as much as our schedules would permit us to, which can be quite a challenge sometimes.

So, until hubz is able to come here, plans for travelling might have to take the back seat.

A few posts back, I blogged about the 6.2 mile walk I did for the AIDS Foundation to raise funds.  I wish they had something similar for prostate cancer.  This is one cause so dear to my heart.  I'd probably raise funds with a little more passion.  I hate the Big C.  Everyday I pray that a cure will soon be found to spare those suffering from this disease. 

Eighteen years ago, I lost one of the most important people in my life to prostate cancer - my grandfather.  I was only 12 then, but my heart was torn to pieces.  He was my closest kin, and being the eldest grandchild, I was his favorite.  When he was alive, nobody could hurt me and get away with it.  Talk about a spoiled brat!  If I wanted something, all I need to do is ask and I'd get it. 

I guess I was this close to him because he was one person who believed in me.  At the end of every school year, he would give me gifts - my incentive for bringing home good grades.  To him, I am the smartest one even when my other cousins actually made it to the honor roll.  He had high hopes for me too.  He wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer.  He always knew I had it in me. 

For sometime, I questioned God why he took tatay away from me.  I didn't only lose a grandfather, but I lost an ally.  Our relatives couldn't lay a finger at us when he was alive because they would hear tatay's wrath.  When he passed away, we were taunted and mocked upon.  They thought we wouldn't amount to anything.

I eventually proved them wrong.  Because someone believed in me, I had the courage to dream.  I dreamt big because that was what he taught me to do.  I aimed high because he wouldn't expect anything less.  I had to achieve my goals because I knew he was right beside me, watching and guiding me.  For every failure, I am able to stand up because I knew he was cheering for me.  For every success, I knew he was celebrating with me. 

Whenever I'd come home, I would visit his grave and pray.  18 years have passed but I still can't help but cry.  When I remember him, I still get teary-eyed.  You don't get over losing someone you love.  You just keep good memories flowing through your thoughts. 

He had been my angel when he was alive.  Now he is truly an angel keeping watch over me.

I consider myself blessed to own a house in one of the United States' most lucrative part of the country in terms of real estate.  We bought our house in September 2001, a few weeks after 9-11.  The economy dropped to a deep slumber then, and builders are practically begging for people to buy houses.  We got a great deal out of it because ours is what you call a model home. 

A couple and a half years forward, the prices of houses around this area is just staggering!  Who would've thought that a far away suburb would fetch that high a price in the market?!  Houses around us are selling for high $600s to $700s!  I don't even think that if I hadn't decided to buy a house then, I'd be able to even afford to live here now.  It's truly a great investment. 

I took Principles of Real Estate class at a community college a year ago, and our teacher said that it is only in California that values of real estate increase by the hour almost.  I tend to believe him, seeing how the value of this house has appraised now.  Even our tax accountant has discouraged us to invest in anything else but real estate.  Unfortunately, very few places around here exist where properties are still affordable.  Mostly they're waaay out in a far-away land. 

Home is where the heart is.  In California, home is where the buck is.... :)

Ok, so this is what you call weekend - no work to think about, just plain chilling out. 

I went shopping yesterday - for comforters, and some other house stuff, did the groceries, and went to church to hear mass.  I also got the book I reserved at the Library, and borrowed an audio book.  At home, I cleaned the house, prepared dinner, did some ironing, and before finally retiring to bed, did some reading.  I am totally engrossed on the book I borrowed from the library - The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.  I regret not having read it sooner.  The talks about this book just piqued my curiosity.  The puzzles and riddles fascinate me.  I can't even put it down!  There's another book I love that is of the same caliber as this one - The Eight by Katherine Neville.  It's a must read for a mystery buff like me. 

I'm a voracious reader.  Give me a book that'll strike my fancy and I'll devour it with passion.  Have spent sleepless nights in the past trying to finish off a book in one sitting. 

Today, I was tempted to log on to work, but stopped myself.  I deserved this kind of a weekend, and so I continued on with my reading.  I also went back to doing my home study program in Professional Photography.  I am also going to devote some time to review for the Real Estate State Licensure exam.  I have long since finished the course in Principles of Real Estate (for which I got an A), and it's about time I really became serious about reviewing for the state test.  Been putting it off for a while. 

Finally, a weekend I can call truly call my own.  I am able to do the things that I love.   

Have you ever had a day when you feel you're just about ready to scream?  Ever felt like everyone is out to get you, or that they're actually conniving to piss you off?  You just want the day to end, right?  Well, I have that feeling today.

There's a project that I'm working on where the customers and analysts are driving me insane!  They're a bunch of micro managers who want to dictate how the project should progress.   They're constantly craving for attention - asking dozens of questions - some are even petty ones.  Don't they realize that they need to leave us alone if they want their project implemented on time and of good quality?  We've had this walkthru with them a couple of weeks back, and until now, they're still asking for clarifications.  When will this ever end?  They're draining my energy and it's like babysitting for a bunch of toddlers - spoonfeeding and all.

Next, you have people trying to do your job for you.  Well, what the heck am I here for, maggoo?  Too many hands in the pod ain't good because it creates too much confusion (which is the last thing everybody needs right now).  And boy, these people are bossy too!  Hellooo - does teamwork ever ring a bell?  I'm the lead and if you can't accept that, then tough bananas!

I was planning to leave early today, but at the rate things are going, it might not happen again.  You see, everytime I plan to leave early, something holds me back, and I end up leaving even later than my normal end of work schedule.  Am I not supposed to have a life outside of work?  Don't I deserve an early start on the weekend?  I have been working my butt off all week and the weekend is a small reward for that!

I know I sound like I'm complaining but I truly am not having a good week.

My office desk and computer got soaked when I dropped the water globe sitting on my overhead cabinet. 

I'm still waiting on something before I could go home.

I was just told that some of the code we're expecting today wouldn't get moved because of a production problem.

Our system has been extremely slow today.

Sigh!

Tomorrow's another day!