Apr. 11th, 2023 08:30 pm
we kill ( be killed, or run );


( he's pacing, and with him, pacing is never good.
it isn't the pacing of something caged, but that of something repressed; every time he'd gone into rut it had been used against him, his aggression fuel for the coming fights and he'd always won, always, and when he'd come out of the haze at the other side of it he'd always felt β¦ like something was missing, even if the urge was gone. like it was something incomplete that he couldn't put his finger on.
he can feel it coming and he hates it, because it never means anything good for him and he doesn't want megumi to have to see it, that side of him, doesn't want him to have to deal with it because it's something he hadn't asked for. and he's been so kind to him already β
he's fond of him, this young, spiky-haired thing that took him in when he hadn't had to. when he'd made a space for a dog that has only ever known the pressure of teeth and claws, the taste of blood on his tongue and never a kind word for the sake of anything. he doesn't want him to see this side of him, and thinks of slinking off to somewhere that's more closed-off to wait this out, to let the urge to bite and claim and fuck bleed out of his system slowly, until he's himself again.
as close to himself as he's ever been, but sometimes, now, away from all the fighting he's not sure he really knows himself. but β
he doesn't get to make that choice because he takes too long, the sound of megumi coming home making his ears twitch in that direction and he crushes out a cigarette in a nearby tray, only half-smoked but he has a habit of only doing that when he's by himself, and when the door opens his dark eyes are already mostly pupil. the scent of him precedes him, and he smells so fucking good that it takes everything in him not to pounce. to cover that scent with his own, and make it theirs.
he holds his breath the best he can, and offers through clenched teeth: ) Don't wanna be anywhere near me right now, Spiky. ( he doesn't care if it sounds harsh. ) Thinkin' about goin' away for a while β¦ but don't worry, I'll come back.
( is he going to give an explanation? nah. )
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