title: At the Bottom of the Well
series: Stargate SG-1
rating: R
warnings: non-con, suicide, character death
word count: 1,350
notes: Five unhappy endings for SG-1.

( somebody else's lifeCollapse )

title: V is for Video Games
series: Stargate SG-1
characters: Cam, everybody
rating: PG
word count: 953
notes: gosh, I just love Cam so much. Written for sg_fignewton's Cam Alphabet Soup.

( it's a systematic disassembling of all his hard-earned credibility.Collapse )

I'm having a bit of a situation (this Tumblr post may have tipped you off about it) where suddenly all I want to do is watch Power Rangers all day. Since Netflix still hasn't quite entered my life yet, I've done the next best thing: experiment with Super Sentai shows. And by experiment I mean watch random openings, cackle at their mind-blowing absurdity, and dive headfirst into the shallow end of the first show I manage to find subbed.

That show was Choujuu Sentai Liveman, hailing from the glorious golden year of 1988. Maybe in spite of the hysterically bad everything, I keep watching it out of unironic love. Maybe that's a possibility. I can't imagine why I would do such a thing, though. It's not like it's about an OT3 employing the power of burning courage, shouted attacks, and blood-forged friendship to save the Earth and avenge their dead. And why would I like a show about people coming together on rainbows of feelings to save the universe as a family team? That just sounds silly and nope I can't make this joke, I can't do it.

Anyway, I have a basket of emotions about terrible Japanese television that I have to dump all over the floor in picspam form (I haven't done a picspam like this since December 2010, and that's crazy.) Maybe you'd like to sort through them with me.

( Youth! Explosion! Fire! These are actual lyrics!Collapse )

Remember that year we were all surprised by me getting hyped up for Porn Battle? Look at me now! I'm a true and proper adult.

title: We Won't Need Silk
series: Stargate SG-1
pairing: Sam/Jack
rating: NC-17
word count: 2,038
notes: Written for Porn Battle XII; the prompt was 'bondage'. missparker was a very patient and soothing beta.

( 'It's not about pain.'Collapse )

title: Wherever We Go
series: Stargate SG-1
characters: Jonas, Vala
rating: PG
word count: ~2,700
notes: There I was, stalled like a semi on a hot desert road, scrambling to force more words out of my fingers for this sg1friendathon fic (the prompt was 89. Jonas, Vala. Rescue from the Ori.) It was due in two weeks, I hated what I had going, and opening Word was a painful exercise in self-flagellation. Then missparker (without whom this story would have been horse shit) descended from the heavens and said, "You should just write about Jonas and Vala going on a picnic." She was joking. And yet here we are.

( 'I'm always hearing about this Tau'ri ritual.'Collapse )

title: Five Times Jack Sees Sam Out Of Uniform
series: Stargate SG-1
pairing: Sam/Jack
rating: R, but not all of them are. arrr.
word count: 4,486
notes: mmm, delicious otp. I don't come up with the fancy five things titles; that's missparker's job. You can also read this on AO3 if you'd like.

( What he finds when he opens the door is even more of a surprise.Collapse )

Remember how I said I wanted to put this on LJ, but LJ was being a nut at the time so it only went on AO3? It's bothering me now in an obsessive-compulsive kind of way. It's a sequence-breaker waiting to happen and if I don't just put it here, I'll go cuckoo.

title: Some Days You're The Hydrant
series: Stargate SG-1
rating: G
word count: ~10,200
notes: adventurepants's birthday was a pretty great birthday and I promised her our popsicle joke fic. "Because he was a hound dog"? I don't think so.

( 'Remember,' she warned. 'Calm.'Collapse )

I wasn't ever going to post this here, but then it was crossover gen fic day and I just... Look, I stand by this. And so do the 30 people on Tumblr who liked and reblogged and keymashed all over that post. So there.

title: Magnificent Starlight
series: Stargate SG-1/Robot Unicorn Attack
rating: PG
word count: 761
notes: I know Robot Unicorn Attack (as well as the heavy metal version) is old news, but I was a little late to the party. I really really liked it, and then, you know. Things happened and suddenly Sam had a unicorn friend. What are you gonna do.
Also presented for your enjoyment: the accompanying graphic.

( 'you've lost everything'Collapse )

title: Arborvitae
series: Stargate SG-1
rating: PG
word count: ~7,500
notes: for missparker, who is lovely and let me play with this line from Desperation: or Carter’s being a woman set into motion some asinine chain of events that ended with Teal’c having to carry her around a sacred tree nine times before they could gate home.
Thanks to adventurepants for what I would call an above-and-beyond beta, nighttones for equally above-and-beyond cheerleading, and everyone who enjoyed the #sacredtrees tag despite not really knowing what it meant. Now you'll know! :)

( when it starts, it's just one leg.Collapse )