Yesterday while driving to pick Kailey up from Dance Camp, I was listening to the Joy FM.... I was thinking a lot about Evan and how it's been 3 long years since we've seen him. The radio went silent... then the song, In My Arms by Plumb started playing ...that's the song my cousin Brianne had used to make a beautiful DVD in honor of Evan. My heart was pounding and I couldn't stop tears from falling. As I pulled into the parking lot to pick Kailey up, the radio station turned back to the Joy FM...with a different song in progress. I called Jim and barely could speak....asking how that could've happened. He said, "Evan is probably trying to tell you he's thinking about you." I picked Kailey up and told her what had happened. We then had to drop by Danielle's school to pick up her grades from last year (which I just hadn't made time to do previously). After we picked up the grades, we headed back home...the song came on again...for just a brief moment. This time Kailey heard it too!! We were in awe. Had Evan tried to communicate with us? Was he letting us know he is still watching over us? I WONDER....
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Today was a....Good day!
Today was a good day. My friend Cassie's daughter turned two!! YEAH TWO!!! My other friend Lisa had a brand new baby and it THUNDERED ALL DAY!
First, celebrating year two! Outstanding. Everytime I hear someone makes it to two, I rejoice. Grateful, grateful... Little Georgia now two, my favorite age! The age of advanced discovery. Two year olds are filled with such wonder. Ducks and Minnie Mouse, who knew such fun could be had with these inanimate objects. So grateful for friends that want to insure safety for their child by having a donation box at a birthday for infantswim.com classes.
Having the opportunity to hold a newborn is a priceless gift. I can't help but cry when I hold one. I had that opportunity tonight. Babies take my breath away, I just want to hold, cradle and caress. This "little" 9.6lb Luke was breathtaking. I wish I knew how to upload a picture from my phone (I know I am probably one of the last in the stone ages of technology) anyway, you just have to believe me when I tell you that he is adorable. I just know God is close when I hold a newborn. I can just feel it, probably why I get so emotional. Luke, "bringer of Light" I felt that light and I thank you.
Thunder, glorious and terrible. Thunder. Evan loved the Thunder. Cameron had a baseball tournament today...you could see the storm clouds moving in....then the thunder was heard, then the lightning...of course that means delay of game. Danielle said, "Mom, did you see the Evan butterfly (it's a yellow/black type that we see quite often), it hovered around Cameron's team then came right by me!" My children have learned to watch for "Evan moments". The thunder for me was an another "Evan moment." Everytime I hear thunder, I think of him...everytime... And in Florida, we have lots of thunder. Now, of course with thunder you also get the terrible too...the wind and lightning. Our neighbor, our friend, two doors down had a tree completely uprooted from this storm today and this tree came crashing down on their car, thankfully, they were not in it. This was not a little tree...at least 3 feet in diameter and 30-40 feet tall. Like I said, two doors down! On our lawn was a plastic garbage can that was left out yesterday because I was weeding and I was just plain too tired to put it in the backyard. This plastic garbage can did not move one inch during the storm. A lesson? I think so. Storms come, some affect us and some don't. But, storms do come. Even mighty trees can be completely uprooted because a force so strong had the power to take claim. Terrible, yes. definitely, terrible. However, storms can also cleanse, the sky cries with tears from heaven to water the earth. When Evan was uprooted from our family, it was terrible...the tears didn't feel like cleansing, they felt like unceasing bottomless pits of dispair. That's how it is in the beginning...but somehow the tears also helped in the healing and continue to help in our healing just as the rain falls and drenches the earth so new life can grow. So whenever I hear thunder, I will always feel Evan near. And when you see an Evan butterfly and have thunder in the same moment, you need to listen.
So yes, it was a good day. A good day to help a neighbor deal with the storms in their life, celebrate becoming two, and enjoy the gift of life.
First, celebrating year two! Outstanding. Everytime I hear someone makes it to two, I rejoice. Grateful, grateful... Little Georgia now two, my favorite age! The age of advanced discovery. Two year olds are filled with such wonder. Ducks and Minnie Mouse, who knew such fun could be had with these inanimate objects. So grateful for friends that want to insure safety for their child by having a donation box at a birthday for infantswim.com classes.
Having the opportunity to hold a newborn is a priceless gift. I can't help but cry when I hold one. I had that opportunity tonight. Babies take my breath away, I just want to hold, cradle and caress. This "little" 9.6lb Luke was breathtaking. I wish I knew how to upload a picture from my phone (I know I am probably one of the last in the stone ages of technology) anyway, you just have to believe me when I tell you that he is adorable. I just know God is close when I hold a newborn. I can just feel it, probably why I get so emotional. Luke, "bringer of Light" I felt that light and I thank you.
Thunder, glorious and terrible. Thunder. Evan loved the Thunder. Cameron had a baseball tournament today...you could see the storm clouds moving in....then the thunder was heard, then the lightning...of course that means delay of game. Danielle said, "Mom, did you see the Evan butterfly (it's a yellow/black type that we see quite often), it hovered around Cameron's team then came right by me!" My children have learned to watch for "Evan moments". The thunder for me was an another "Evan moment." Everytime I hear thunder, I think of him...everytime... And in Florida, we have lots of thunder. Now, of course with thunder you also get the terrible too...the wind and lightning. Our neighbor, our friend, two doors down had a tree completely uprooted from this storm today and this tree came crashing down on their car, thankfully, they were not in it. This was not a little tree...at least 3 feet in diameter and 30-40 feet tall. Like I said, two doors down! On our lawn was a plastic garbage can that was left out yesterday because I was weeding and I was just plain too tired to put it in the backyard. This plastic garbage can did not move one inch during the storm. A lesson? I think so. Storms come, some affect us and some don't. But, storms do come. Even mighty trees can be completely uprooted because a force so strong had the power to take claim. Terrible, yes. definitely, terrible. However, storms can also cleanse, the sky cries with tears from heaven to water the earth. When Evan was uprooted from our family, it was terrible...the tears didn't feel like cleansing, they felt like unceasing bottomless pits of dispair. That's how it is in the beginning...but somehow the tears also helped in the healing and continue to help in our healing just as the rain falls and drenches the earth so new life can grow. So whenever I hear thunder, I will always feel Evan near. And when you see an Evan butterfly and have thunder in the same moment, you need to listen.
So yes, it was a good day. A good day to help a neighbor deal with the storms in their life, celebrate becoming two, and enjoy the gift of life.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
23 months
Where to begin?
23 months....
Yes, I know it's been more than 23 months since Evan passed away, more like 3 years this August 10...
23 months...
23 months is how old Savannah will be in 2 weeks...
23 months is how long Evan lived...
23 months is too short to live...
23 months is not enough time...
23 months is not quite two...
23 months is scary, will Savannah see two?
23 months is summer again...
23 months is swimming...
23 months is now ISR... (Infant Swimming Resource)
23 months is watching Savannah float...
23 months is knowing Evan couldn't...
23 months is seeing Evan in Savannah...
23 months is just two weeks away...
23 months is worrisome...
23 months is hope...
23 months is almost here again...
23 months is faith...
23 months is still more room for growth...
23 months is finally getting Evan's Grave Marker...
23 months is a hard month...
23 months is emotional...
23 months is strength...
23 months is not taken for granted...
23 months is fleeting...
23 months is here...
23 months...
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